Drunken Binge
by Nicola

“C’mon Angel, man. Just get outta the office for one night, go for a drink, I swear you’ll never have to do it again,” Doyle pleaded again. Angel held fast to his decision.

“I’m not going anywhere tonight, Doyle. So just drop the subject.” He walked into the kitchen and stopped momentarily to glance at the table. So many memories, but they never happened. Doyle interrupted his thoughts by walking into him.

“I’m not gonna drop the subject. I’m gonna dog you until you say yes.” Angel turned around sharply to face Doyle.

“I haven’t touched a drink since I first came here, and I’m not gonna start again.” Doyle just looked at him with an oh-yes-you-are look. Angel sighed and walked away from him.

“I told you I’d get you out, didn’t I,” Doyle teased Angel as they walked down the dark street. Angel growled deep in his throat, but Doyle didn’t hear. It wasn’t ten minutes before they were at Doyle’s favourite local bar.

It was empty inside, only three people were actually there. The bartender, a middle-aged man with black hair and a rounded belly was talking to some woman by the front. He looked up and saw Doyle, his most regular customer. He immediately excused himself from the girl and walked over to his friend.

“Doyle, my man. How are ya?” he asked cheerfully.

“I’m good, man. You?” Doyle replied as they shook hands. Both men were all smiles.

“I’m okay. Got another good customer.” Doyle looked interested. He was the only regular there.

“Who?” he asked. The bartender nodded in the direction of the girl by the counter. She was blonde, and very thin, her clothes were shabby and rumpled and she looked really, really drunk. She was slouched in her chair and leaning heavily on the counter.

“She’s been here every night for the past two weeks. Keeps coming in with more money. She’s really boosted profit. Only problem is, I have to listen to her.” Doyle patted his shoulder comfortingly.

“Never mind, Tony. I’m back and you can listen to me too.” Tony groaned and led them to a table. The girl tilted the bottle to her eye and when nothing came out she threw it over her shoulder with tremendous force. Angel had to duck and it flew past his head and into the door, smashing into a million shards. Tony sighed and gave Doyle an apologetic look before hurrying over to the girl. He placed another two bottles in front of her and picked up another two for Doyle and his friend. Tony placed them on the table and grabbed a chair to sit with the two men. There was silence, except for the girl’s gulping. In less than two minutes she had guzzled down that bottle of beer and started on the other. Angel cleared his throat uncomfortably his memories of pubs and bars weren’t good. Doyle looked up from his drink and noticed the expecting faces on Tony and Angel.

“Right! Tony, this is my employer and friend Angel Angel, this is my other friend and supplier of booze Tony.” Angel and Tony shook hands.

“Man, you’re cold. Want me to turn up the heat?” Tony commented. Angel shook his head.

“I always feel like that,” he replied before starting on his bottle. He was there to drink a little, so he might as well drink. It took quite a bit to get him drunk too. A smash came from the counter and Tony immediately stood up.

“What’s the hurry, Tony? Can’t the girl wait?” Doyle asked. Tony sighed again.

“Normally I wouldn’t bother, but last time I didn’t serve her she got violent on herself. If she weren’t drunk at the time I doubt I’d have been able to stop her. She’s incredibly strong, y’know man.” With that, Tony went behind the bar and gave the girl another drink before returning to Doyle and Angel.

“What’s with her?” Angel asked, pretending to be uninterested. He wasn’t uninterested. Far from it. This girl looked like a lost soul, but the Powers That Be hadn’t said a thing. She also looked like a certain Slayer he knew, but he also knew she wouldn’t get drunk in L.A because she wasn’t that stupid. Tony shrugged at his question.

“Dunno. Bad break up, I think.” Before he could continue, the girl smashed the bottle on the counter. “I’m coming! I’m gonna have to stay over there a while. Sorry guys,” Tony said before rising and going to the counter again. Angel, with his advanced vampiric senses, picked up on what the girls slurred voice said.

“Stupid git. First he says he wants me, then he goes all schizo on me, kills the librarians girlfriend, and THEN…he comes back! The bloody motherfucker gains control just when I’m about to slice his bloody head off!” Angel nearly choked when she stopped to take a swig of her bottle. This girl was so similar to that certain blonde he used to date. “So I run away ‘ere for the summer, but then stupid fucking FATE pays a visit and I’s has to go ‘ome! AND THEN THE FUCKING BASTARD GETS BACK FROM HELL AND IT ALL GOES TO SHIT!” The other two people in the bar abruptly got up and left at the girls shouting and swearing. Tony tried to calm her down.

“Who was this guy?” he asked. The girl didn’t relax. She grew angrier, if possible.

“HE’S A FUCKING HEARTBREAKER! THE SON OF A BITCH TELLS ME HE DOESN’T WANT TO BE WITH ME! AND IN A SEWER! OF ALL PLACES!” A sob caught in her throaty and she brushed at her face. Tony sighed. It happened every night. She’d curse whoever this guy was until dawn. And she’d talk about the same things, too. Show him the same scars. It grew tiresome and he didn’t blame the guy for leaving her. Of course, if he’d stayed then the lady wouldn’t be there getting drunk like there’s no tomorrow. She wasn’t done, and he knew it. This was where things got really gruesome.

“He got shot in the shoulder with a poisoned arrow by my sister. Don’t know why, she just decided she didn’t like me. Stupid bitch. I was only ever nice to the cow. Faith, they called her. Wouldn’t put any Faith in her. Couldn’t decide who she was gonna play with. So then he was near dying, and I killed her and then I went to see him. And I made him bite me and I nearly died…again.” Tony quirked an eyebrow. He hadn’t heard that before.

“When d’you first die?” he asked. The girl laughed.

“Smart. Changing subjects. Some prick bit me in the neck and I drowned. Then I came back alive and killed the sod. He haunted me the entire summer.” Tony nodded. He knew she was going to go back to him, now. “We blew up the school on Graduation. Stole some explosives from the military base and blew it up at the library. See, the mayor turned into a giant snake but we knew it was gonna happen so I got him to chase me and then we blew him up.” She laughed again, a note of haunting or even insanity in her voice. “It was dark then. That was how he could come out. And you’ll never guess what he did. I risked my life for his…AND THE SON OF A BITCH LEFT ME! HOW COULD HE DO THAT! I’VE NEARLY DIED GOD KNOWS HOW MANY TIMES IN COLLEGE COS HE WASN’T THERE TO WATCH MY BACK! THE MOTHERFUCKER LEFT ME TO DIE! HE’S SUCH A BLOODY COWARD! CAN’T DEAL WITH THE PRESSURE SO HE TOOK OFF! HE’S HURT ME WORSE THAN THAT FUCKING ANGELUS EVER COULD!” There, he’d heard it. The sentence he’d never wanted to hear and he’d heard it yelled. Doyle was looking at him with pure worry and sympathy in his eyes. But the girl, who was obviously Buffy Summers, kept up with her rage. “AND THEN AT THANKSGIVING! HE CAME DOWN COS HIS STUPID FRIEND HAD A FUCKING VISION WHERE I DIED! GOOD, I WANT TO DIE! DEATH WOULD BE GOOD! BUT NO! HE HAD TO SAVE MY ARSE AND STAY HIDDEN! GOOD OL’ XANDER WAS THE ONE TO TELL ME! ALWAYS COUNT ON HIM TO RUIN YOUR LIFE! DOESN’T THINK I KNOW ABOUT THAT WHOLE ‘KICK HIS ASS’ THING! FORGOT TO TELL ME WILLOW WAS TRYING THE CURSE AGAIN!” She paused to take a swig from her near empty bottle. Tony hadn’t heard this either. He had a lot of questions but realised it was none of his business so he let her continue to rant and rave. “SO I FOLLOW HIM BACK HERE, ASK HIM WHY HE WAS STALKING ME INSTEAD OF HELPING! HE BECAME HUMAN! CAN YOU BELIEVE IT? FOR TWENTY-FOUR HOURS WE HAD BLISS! AND THEN THAT STUPID FUCKING DEMON CAME AND BEAT HIM INTO A BLOODY PULP AND HE WENT TO QUESTION HI! S FUCKING HUMANITY! THE BASTARD GOT TO TURN BACK TIME, MAKE ME FORGET!” She took another swig of her beer and calmed herself. Angel was completely stunned. How did she know that? She was sobbing slightly now, but by no means finished. But she was quieter. “So then we start with that fucking demon breaking in, and this time he kills it. I walk out pretending I don’t have a clue. I remember ever bloody minuscule detail like it was yesterday. He took away my only chance at happiness…again. Son of a bitch.” She was crying even harder now, and even Angel had a few tears in his eyes.

“What did he look like? You said he lived round here. Maybe I could find him for you?” Tony asked. The girl took a long swig of beer and looked at Tony with puffy eyes.

“You look like him,” she whispered, before chuckling softly, “but then everyone looks like him.” She swivelled round in her chair gazing at everything with drunken eyes, “he’s everywhere I go!” she said loudly. Her eyes fell on the only two people left in the room besides her and Tony. Angel met her eyes with pure sympathy in them, before fear then self-hatred came on and he fled the building. Doyle looked at the swinging door and decided he should go to. He stood up, put the money on the table and followed the vampire out. Buffy choked slightly, before swivelling round to face Tony. “Same again,” she said, “Now I’m seeing him run out of the bloody building.” Tony gave her another bottle and she quickly guzzled it down.

Doyle found Angel leaning against an ally wall, tears rolling down his cheeks freely. Doyle pulled up against the wall and fought to catch his breath.

“What was all that about?” he finally huffed out. Angel rolled his head away from Doyle’s gaze.

“I did that to her. Did you even hear what she said? She was talking about her and me, and the forgotten day! How can she know that? The Oracles said only I’d remember, and here she is getting drunk about it.” Doyle patted his shoulder but Angel pulled away roughly. He didn’t want nor deserve companionship.

“I think you should go back in there, and talk to her. She obviously needs you, man. Make up for past wrongs with her and then we can go before the sun rises.” Angel was still in a haze of shock and self-hatred. He slowly nodded his head to whatever Doyle was proposing and was led back to the bar.

“Why are you here, girl? You’re a long way from home, and under a lot of stress. You should talk to some family,” Tony suggested. The girl looked up at him sharply. She’d taken over twice the amount of alcohol she should have and she was still alive.

“My family have split up. My father is a stupid sod and my mother told my boyfriend to get out of town. No one knows I know that, I just happened to be bunking class at the time. And you want me to take comfort in them? My best friend performed a little spell and got me engaged to SPIKE! My other best friend yelled at me for running away when I could have stayed home if he’d told me the soul-restoration curse was being done! My mentor and father figure thought I was being disrespectful when I didn’t tell him my boyfriend was back from Hell. IT WAS TORTURE FOR ME TO WATCH HIM IN CHAINS! HOW WAS GILES GONNA COPE WHEN HE’D BEEN TORTURED BY HIM AND HAD HIS GIRLFRIEND KILLED! THEY’RE ALL MOTHERFUCKING GITS! THEY BROKE THE SLAYER, NOT ANYONE ELSE! IT’S ALL THEIR BLOODY FAULT!” Buffy had climbed onto the counter and had a smashed bottleneck in her hands, just waiting to drive it into Tony’s heart. He looked over to the door just as Angel came rushing in and pulled Buffy away from the frightened bartender. She spun on him, still with the glass in her hand and nearly collapsed when she saw who it was. Angel eyed the broken bottle carefully as he reached out to take it from her. She may have been seriously drunk, but she wasn’t stupid. She pulled away from him sharply and held the broken glass up in front of her. She was very wobbly on her feet, and she could just barely focus on him.

“Buffy, do you know who I am?” Angel asked tentatively.

“Of course I know who you are!” she spat out with venom. He visibly flinched, but she was beyond caring. “You’re the stupid, tortured motherfucker who has haunted my every waking and sleeping hour since the day I met you! What in hell do you think you’re doing?” Angel took a small step forward and Buffy immediately stepped back, nearly falling over in the process.

“I’m here to see you get home safe,” he replied looking her in the eye. Buffy laughed hysterically.

“Home? SAFE? Angel, my home is a pile of cinders! My mother could be six foot under! Faith is dead by my hand and there is no way on Earth I’m going to dad’s! What’re you gonna do? Turn back time so that only I remember?” Angel was hurt, and Buffy could see it. He took another step forward, this one larger, forcing Buffy back against the bar

counter.“You are getting WAY out of line!” he yelled at her. Her eyes widened with surprise, but quickly narrowed again with hate.

“I can get out of line, Angel! You are out of line the world is out of line! Why can’t I be? Why can’t I just sit in a bar and get PISSED!” She accentuated the last word with a shove to his shoulder. It was uncontrolled and barely moved him. She liked the thought of getting violent and without thinking she hit him again, harder. “I have saved the world God knows how many times, and I STILL don’t get what I want, what I need, what I crave for when I lie in bed at night. And YOU ARE THE CAUSE OF MOST OF THIS PAIN! YOU ARE THE REASON I HAVE FINALLY CLOSED THE HELLMOUTH AND FINALLY DECIDED TO DIE!” Buffy’s hits were becoming Slayer-strengthed but Angel didn’t fight back. He wanted to feel physical pain, and he knew this would break her down. “I’VE TRIED EVERYTHING TO BE WITH YOU! I’VE TRIED EVERYTHING TO BE APART FROM YOU! I’VE TRIED EVERYTHING TO GRANT WHAT YOU WISH! BUT NOTHING EVER BLOODY WORKS! NOT EVEN BUFFY, THE SLAYER SLASH WHORE CAN MOVE ON FROM YOU!” She gave him a hard uppercut to his gut and he doubled over. Buffy brought two fists down on his back and he fell to the floor. He got up again and faced her, fear, sorrow and love written all over his face. Buffy was breathing hard her face was awash with salty tears. She turned away from him as sobs shook her body. He tentatively put his hand on her shoulder. When she didn’t revolt to his touch he pulled her into his embrace and her sobs became louder as she cried into his shirt.

“Ssshh,” he whispered in her ear as he stroked her hair “Things’ll work out.”

“They…they ne…ne…never do,” she said through ragged breaths. Angel’s own tears fell into her hair as he cradled his broken Slayer. Doyle walked past them to Tony behind the counter.

“You okay, man?” he asked. Tony nodded shakily.

“Those two…” he began. Doyle nodded. They watched as Angel sank to the floor with Buffy still cradled in his arms. She cried and cried and cried for a good hour or more. Doyle and Tony left them alone and before long the sun rose. Eventually, Buffy’s sobs died down to the odd sniffle but Angel still held her tightly. For the first time since the prom, Buffy felt safe, loved. She tightened her grip around Angel’s neck.

“You okay?” he whispered. Buffy nodded but made no movement. Eventually Angel stood up, dragging Buffy with him. He carefully lifted her into his arms and carried her into the back room. He was pretty sure that was where most manholes were. Sure enough, the sewer access laid there, ready for him to jump through. He lifted the metal lid off and carefully let himself fall down with Buffy in his arms. The sudden fall and land made Buffy drop out of Angel’s arms and puke up. He didn’t like that sound, especially from Buffy. When she was done throwing up her entire insides Angel picked her up again and swiftly carried her through the complicated sewer tunnels until he was at the access under his apartment. Placing her down for only minute, they were soon in the apartment.

She was barely awake as he carried her through to the bathroom. He set her down and filled the bath with water of the perfect temperature, and bubbles too. Under her clothes he found numerous new scars, all in places that would kill a normal person. Her head rolled back against the side of the bath as Angel gently lowered her into the water. He washed away the dirt and grime of days of neglect with a lover’s touch. She enjoyed every moment of his hands on her, even though it was to wash away sweat and dirt. He massaged her scalp, her shoulders, her back, her legs, and her feet. She felt like a goddess, the way he was worshipping her. When Angel was sure every part of Buffy’s body was clean, he lifted her out of the bathtub and dried her in a fluffy white towel. He dressed her in one of his silk shirts before carrying her into his bedroom and placing her under the covers. She had a contented smile on her face when he pulled back to look at her, and she was already in a deep sleep. He kissed her lightly on the forehead and her smile grew. As he walked away her smile dropped slightly.

Buffy woke up when someone came barging into the room, slamming the door behind them. The curtains were drawn but it was still bright inside, she could see through her eyelids. She heard a gasp and guessed that whoever it was didn’t know she was there, wherever there was.

“Buffy!” the voice screeched. It sounded like Cordelia, but she didn’t care. Her head was still throbbing.

“Piss off,” she muttered, pulling the covers over head. Cordelia coughed loudly, making her head feel like someone had just brought a hammer to it.

“Excuse me?” Cordy choked.

“I said ‘piss off’. Don’t you know English?” Buffy said, annoyed.

“But you never curse!”

“I wouldn’t be so sure about that,” Angel whispered. He knew Buffy had one hell of a headache. “Morning,” he said to her.

“Hmm,” she mumbled in reply, burying herself deeper into the bed. Angel beckoned for Cordy to follow him out. She cast another shocked glance at the sleeping Slayer before taking Angel’s lead and leaving. As soon as they were in the kitchen she started.

“Angel, what in hell do you think you’re doing?” she yelled. Angel cast a worried glance at the bedroom door before answering Cordelia.

“She was drunk and alone. I brought her home,” he whispered. Cordy’s eyes grew even wider.

“She was drunk!” she shouted, surprised beyond belief. Just then the bedroom door was yanked open and it slammed against the wall. Buffy stood there in Angel’s shirt, looking tired and very pissed off.

“SSSHH!” She hushed loudly before walking across to the fridge and grabbing a carton of O.J. Cordy looked at Buffy in amazement and disgust as she gulped down the juice from the box. When she was finished she wiped her mouth with the back of her hand and walked to the kitchen table, sitting down with a thud. Angel sat opposite her and took her hand.

“Feeling better?” he asked quietly.

“Like shit,” she replied with a shocking honesty.

“Cordy, why don’t you take another day off? I’m kinda tied up at the moment,” Angel suggested without even looking at his employee. Cordy looked between the two. Angel looked the same as usual, if a little brighter because of Buffy’s presence. But Buffy, she looked a right mess. Her hair was everywhere because of sleep, her skin was pale and she had huge grey bags under her eyes. She was awfully thin and she hunched over in her chair. Cordy had never seen Buffy look so ill and helpless. Buffy raised her eyes to meet Cordelia’s, and she immediately realised she was staring. Self-consciously she backed up.

“S…sorry,” she stuttered before running for the elevator. Buffy turned back to her juice in front of her. Already it was beginning to make her stomach shiver and twist in ways very uncomfortable. She didn’t want to puke up the lining of her stomach but getting drunk didn’t really give her a choice. After a moment’s peaceful silence she jumped out of her chair, nearly tripping in the process, and landed hard over the sink. She wretched violently, and felt only slightly comforted by Angel rubbing her back. After a good five minutes she realised she was dry heaving. Buffy splashed cold water on her face, before hobbling back to her chair at the kitchen table. Angel took her hand and waited, not wanting to say anything and make Buffy mad. She slowly worked her eyes from the table up to Angel’s. She tried to see disgust in their depths, but all she saw was love and compassion.

“H…how long was I asleep?” she stammered.

“A day and half,” Angel replied in a low, quiet voice. Buffy nodded once and immediately regretted it. “Wanna talk about it?” Angel asked. She shrugged a reply.

“You ask, I’ll answer,” she said. Angel nodded and began.

“Why are you here?” he asked. Buffy’s mind immediately thought of a thousand ways to avoid the question but she just couldn’t be bothered. She was going to be frank and to the point.

“I closed the Hellmouth with the blood and bones of a Slayer, Faith. Decided that Sunnyhell doesn’t need me and that life is shit. Came here, got pissed, you found me, end of story.”

“Is life really that bad?” Angel asked. Buffy nodded, ignoring the pain that shot through her head and neck and keeping her eyes locked with Angel’s. “What makes it so bad?” he pressed.

“Forbidden love nasty demon teachers betrayal horrid memories blowing up buildings murder it all adds up and then you break.” Angel had pulled away his hand and was looking at the table in shame. Buffy felt sorry for him. “What did I say the other day?”

“The truth,” he replied immediately. Buffy made a little O with her mouth.

“Must have been hard for you to hear,” she said mainly to herself. Angel nodded. She looked back at him and noticed water falling onto the table from his face. Tears. “Oh, Angel,” she whispered before standing up, moving to his side and pulling him into her arms. This time it was his turn to cry.

“I’m sorry,” he cried, “I’m sorry.”

“Ssshh.” Buffy rocked him back and forth. “It’s okay now. It’s okay. You were always forgiven,” she mumbled sincerely as she stroked his hair. They stayed that way for a good ten minutes before Angel’s tears finally subsided. Buffy slowly pulled away from him. “You want breakfast?” she asked, moving to the fridge.

“I don’t have a lot,” Angel told her. Buffy glanced in the fridge and was fairly surprised to see human food.

“Wow, Angel. You have ice cream in here! I actually meant for you. Spike used to say blood and cereal was a great way to the start the day.” Angel’s jaw dropped open.

“Spike?” he asked incredulously. Buffy nodded as she came away from the fridge with a packet of blood. She quickly made Angel blood cereal. He looked at the strange concoction as if it would jump out at him.

“Try it,” Buffy urged. He took the bowl from her and took a small spoonful. It was kind of nice. Gave his mouth something to work on. Buffy smiled triumphantly before seeking out her own breakfast. She pouted when she found there were no crackers. Instead, she settled for a Hershey’s bar. Angel looked at in disgust.

“How can you eat that stuff?” he asked her. Buffy looked confused. “Hershey’s bars. They’re disgusting.” She was still muddled.

“It’s candy. Candy is good,” she replied, taking another bite. Angel grimaced.

“You can’t beat European chocolate,” he muttered. Buffy quirked an eyebrow at him.

“And you can’t beat milk on cereal but you’re doing fine without,” she snapped back. Angel winced under her harsh words, and she immediately regretted them. “I’m sorry. I’m just a little on edge. Y’know, coming back from an emotional breakdown really puts you into a bad temper.” She looked around the room and saw that Angel had gotten a telly since the forgotten day. “COOL!” she exclaimed, before rushing over to the sofa. “Angel has a TV! This is gonna go down in history! And I can vegg all day! Sweet!” A happy grin settled over her face as she began channel surfing for the perfect programme and Angel knew she wasn’t going anywhere for a while. Good, he thought, that’s good.

The End!

Soz ‘bout all the ‘bloody hell…’ stuff. I have two excuses:

1) Buffy has been hanging out with Spike too much &
2) I’m a Brit.

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