Nirvana
by Shirlz

I became aware of a warm body pressed up against mine. Blinking I tried to focus. Gradually my vision cleared and I looked down to see who was nestled against my chest. It was a surprise.

"BUFFY?"

She yawned and stretched. "I’m not deaf Sweetheart."

"What are you doing here? Come to that, where IS here?"

"I don’t know really. Seeing as there’s no hellfire, brimstone and demons and also allowing for the fact that we are both dead, I guess we’re in Heaven."

"You’re dead???"

"Looks that way."

"What did you do Buffy?"

"Duh...died!"

I glared at her.

"Ok, I killed myself. I didn’t want to be without you. Happy now?"

I felt my jaw drop.

"And you can cut that out now mister!"

"What?"

"The disapproving look your giving me. You’re hardly one to preach about not giving in and killing yourself."

"Buffy, I’ve been dead for over 200 years. You’re only 18 and have your whole life in front of you."

"Was and had. No one knew how much longer I had; I’d beaten the odds so many times I had to be running out of luck. I was also tired. Tired of fighting day in and day out. Tired of always battling to stay alive one more day. I love you Angel and I want to be with you."

"But killing yourself?"

"Again the words pot and kettle spring to mind! Angel, what’s done is done. I didn’t want to live in a world without you. We’re together now. Forever."

I sighed softly to myself and drew her into my arms. Whilst I couldn’t condone what she had done I couldn’t be angry. I knew that if the situation had been reversed I would have done the self same thing. I felt for those we had left behind but at the same time there was immense relief.

"What was happening to me?"

"It was the Kalderash. They wanted vengeance for Elios and Janna and for Willow’s involvement in the alteration of your curse."

"Willow...will they?"

"No, Willow is safe, as now are you two."

Simultaneously we looked up to see who had spoken.

"Jenny?"

"Yes Angel. I am sorry that I couldn’t do more to help you. My people managed to block me coming to your aid again. I thought they wouldn’t track me but they did. I failed you both."

Buffy reached out and took Jenny’s hand. "You didn’t fail us. You did the best you could in difficult circumstances."

A slight smile touched her face. "Thank you for saying that."

"So what is this place?"

"It’s Nirvana. It is created from your heart’s strongest desire. Yours Angel was to be able to take Buffy into the light, hence the park at noon on a glorious summers day."

"I don’t deserve this."

"Great! Even in Nirvana he has to brood!"

I nudged Buffy in the ribs but a slight smile graced my lips.

Jenny shook her head in mild amusement.

"Angel Angel Angel. You deserve this more than most people. From the age of 27 your life has been one battle after another and since you regained your soul the battles have been even harder. You have saved countless lives and each time you did you got a little closer to your goal. You have your redemption. Enjoy it."

"I second that." Buffy then grew somber. "What has happened to the others?"

"They grieve but they understand. It was hardest for Xander; he found you."

Her head dropped, but not before I had noticed silent tears tracing their path to freedom down her cheeks. I gently lifted her chin and looked into her eyes.

"Tell me Baby."

"He would have found me sitting in a pool of my own blood nursing a jar containing your ashes. I slit my wrists."

My heart gave a little twist at what he must have gone through but I kept my face as neutral as possible. "Better him than Willow, Cordy or your Mom."

"Is there any way that we can go to them; show them that we are together and happy now? More importantly, is there any way I can say that I am sorry?"

"No Buffy, it is too soon for you to appear to them or visit them in a dream, their wounds are too raw."

"I must be able to do something. I don’t regret what I did but I want to let them know that I’m ok and not in a demon dimension getting tortured or something."

"You can send them a sign; something that they would know came from you and only you."

Buffy looked pensive for a moment and then a broad grin spread across her face.

"What?" Her happiness was contagious.

"Entwined Claddaghs! They’ll know for certain what that means. How do we do it Jenny?"

"It has to be approved by the Powers That Be. Wait a moment." She faded to almost invisibility for a moment and then faded back in. "Your request has been approved. The Powers will send the sign for you at a time when the group is together. They will understand it. But there was also a message for you two."

I raised an eyebrow, "And what would that be?"

"This is your Nirvana. You are together. There are no curses, demons or prophecies. ENJOY IT!"

Buffy laughed. It didn’t take long before Jenny and I joined her...

"Behold the bringer of snacks for he is king." Xander announced as he dropped the box of assorted donuts on the library table and sank into the seat next to Cordy.

Willow was curled up on Oz’s lap and Giles was in his office brewing tea. Since Buffy and Angel had died it had become a ritual to meet up in the library on a Friday after classes and catch up on things Hellmouthy or otherwise.

"Are you playing tonight Oz?" Cordy asked.

"Yeah. Are you guys coming along to watch?"

"Wouldn’t miss it. Giles! How much longer is that tea going to be???"

"Xander, this is a library. Could you keep your volume to a minimum?"

"Sorry."

Whilst Giles busied himself with pouring the tea Xander handed round the donuts, making sure that Giles got his favorite jelly one. As he removed the last one from the box he noticed something glinting in the corner, half hidden by the greaseproof paper. He fished it out and held it up to the light.

"Huh?"

"What have you got there Xand?"

"A free gift. Not much use to anyone though...they’re joined together."

"What are?"

"These rings. Hey, aren’t they Cladd.." The word stuck in Xander’s throat.

Giles held out his hand. "May I?" He took the rings and studied them. A tear escaped and trickled down his face. Willow was the first to

notice."Giles? What’s wrong?"

"These rings...they’re Buffy and Angel’s."

"What?" Oz was confused. "How can you tell?"

"Angel had them engraved; the word ‘Forever’ and their initials."

"How on earth did they get in our box of donuts?"

"I don’t think earth has anything to do with it. The Claddaghs are Buffy and Angel’s and they are linked. I think this is their way of letting us know they are together."

"You are right Rupert. They are together and they are with me. Please forgive them."

"Jenny?"

"Yes. They wanted you to know that they love you all and are sorry for the pain they put you through. When the time is right you will see each other again. Until that time know that they are together and happy and that they are watching over you."

"Not all the time I hope!" Xander joked.

"XANDER!"

Jenny’s laughter echoed around the room. "No, not all the time. Even in Nirvana we respect the need for privacy.

"Why can’t we speak to them?"

"The Powers That Be don’t feel that any of you are ready for that. It will happen, until then you just have to trust. And now I must go too. Remember that we love you."

"I love you." Giles whispered. Everyone else sat around the table lost in their own thoughts...

"They understood?"

"Yes. And now you two need to move on. Explore; take time to get to know Nirvana and what it holds for you. The Powers That Be will eventually assign you tasks but for now just enjoy being together."

I was about to ask what Jenny meant by tasks when Angel kissed me.

"Not that I mind but, what was that for?"

"We’ve done enough talking and I’m sure Jenny has other things to do. It’s sunny and hot, we’re together and there’s no big bad brewin’ evil so let’s have some fun."

"And what did you have in mind?" I ran my tongue seductively round my lips.

"I’d rather show you." Angel took my hand and pulled me into a passionate embrace. Our lips met and at once Jenny and everything else was forgotten.

The End

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