Wrong:
Wrong
by Shirlz

I was tired, I was irritable and I felt like shit. If this was being pregnant then I wasn’t enjoying it. Nearly as much fun as being the Chosen One I laughed to myself.

I was sitting on a tombstone idly swinging the stake that I held in my hand. I’d already dusted three vamps tonight newbies who didn’t know better. I was going to give it another half an hour and then home to bed. Surviving on five hours sleep was proving interesting.

I felt a tingling in the back of my neck. I recognised the feeling and sensed him behind me. I chose to ignore him.

"Buffy."

I pretended I hadn’t heard him. Getting up I started to walk away.

"Damn you Buffy! What the hell are you playing at???"

I could feel my temper rising. Spinning round I faced him, my hands on my hips.

"I could ask you the same question. I have a reason to be here, I’m patrolling. You however. Shouldn’t you be in LA with all your nice new friends?"

God he was gorgeous! Even now I could feel my body reacting to the sight of him. Any ideas I had that I was getting over him flew right out the window.

"Quit playing games Buffy. I know. I found the ultrasound picture on Cordelia’s desk and forcibly dragged the rest of the story out of her."

I silently cursed Cordelia but forgave her at the same time. I knew how ‘persuasive’ he could be.

"I don’t know what you’re talking about. I think you’ve got me confused with someone else, someone who cares!"

This was so hard. I wanted to throw myself into his arms and beg him never to leave me. But I knew he’d say what he had to and then I’d be left to deal with the emotional aftermath. I had to be strong.

"I don’t understand you. I thought you knew how I felt about you and understood. I love you Buffy. There’s not a second in my unlife that I don’t. I sent you my number. Why didn’t you call?"

"What for? Why in God’s name would I want to do that?"

"Why are you making this so hard? I’m sorry I hurt you. I did what I did because I thought it was for the best. You’re having a baby Buffy. Our baby. I want to be there for you both."

I couldn’t help it. I laughed.

"You want! YOU WANT! It’s always about what ‘you’ want! You don’t want us to be together. You don’t want me to contact you unless it’s an emergency. Now you want in on my child’s life. Guess what Angel? I don’t want you and I don’t need you. I don’t need any of you! I’m getting along fine now and I’ll get along fine when the baby’s born. So what you want doesn’t really come in to it, does it!"

I could see from his eyes that I had hurt him. Part of me wanted to apologise, to take it all back. The rest of me wanted him to hurt as badly as I was.

"Buffy. Someone should be helping you. You shouldn’t be patrolling but if you insist on continuing someone should be with you. I admire your strength but you can’t do this alone. Please let someone help you."

I could feel myself weakening.

"I love you too Angel but I can’t do this. I can’t let you back into my life only for you to turn around and walk away again. I can’t let myself and this child love and depend on you when I know you won’t be here forever. I can’t open myself up to that kind of pain."

"I made a mistake. I can’t take away the pain I caused you but I want to start making things right. Let me patrol with you if you won’t give it up completely. Let me help you."

"I’m tired and I don’t feel well. I can’t deal with this right now it’s too much. I need to go home and rest. Are you staying in Sunnydale?"

"I was going to stay at the apartment."

"I’m sorry I lashed out at you but you can’t expect to just walk back into my life where we left off. I need time to think. I’ll come by and see you tomorrow at dusk and we’ll talk some more."

"Can I walk you home?"

I thought for a moment. What would it hurt?

"Sure."

We walked side by side. I was the first to break the silence.

"So how are things going at the agency?"

"Good. We’ve helped quite a few people. Cordy and Doyle are a great help too."

"And you? How have you been?"

"Do you want the lie or the truth?"

"Truth."

"Miserable."

I waited for him to say more. He didn’t.

"And?"

"I don’t want to put pressure on you."

"I asked for the truth."

"Ok. I realised almost immediately that I had made a mistake but I didn’t know how to go about rectifying it. I told you to move on. How could I then come back and say ‘Sorry, I made a mistake. I don’t want you to move on after all?’"

"I told you. I have no intention of moving on. You spoiled me for other men. There could never be anyone after you."

By now we had reached my house.

"I should go."

I looked up at him and into his eyes. Gently I put my arms round his neck and brought him down to my level. I kissed him softly on the lips. He didn’t try and pull away. After a few seconds I let him go. He looked stunned.

"Dusk. Tomorrow. We’ll talk."

Part Five

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