WHAT DRIVING TO THE STORE WOULD BE LIKE IF OPERATING SYSTEMS RAN YOUR CAR
   

>> MS-DOS:  You get in the car and try to remember where you put your keys.
   

>> Windows:  You get in the car and drive to the store very slowly, because
   attached to the back of the car is a freight train.
   

>> Macintosh System 7:  You get in the car to go to the store, and the car
   drives you to church.
   

>> UNIX:  You get in the car and type GREP STORE.  After reaching speeds of
   200 miles per hour en route, you arrive at the barber shop.
   

>> Windows NT:  You get in the car and write a letter that says, "go to the
   store."  Then you get out of the car and mail the letter to your
   dashboard.
   

>> Taligent/Pink:  You walk to the store with Ricardo Montalban, who tells
   you how wonderful it will be when he can fly you to the store in his
   Learjet.
   

>> OS/2:  After fueling up with 6000 gallons of gas, you get in the car and
   drive to the store with a motorcycle escort and a marching band in
   procession.  Halfway there, the car blows up, killing everybody in town.
   

>> S/36 SSP [mainframe, obv.]:  You get in the car and drive to the store. Halfway there you run out of gas.  While walking the rest of the way,
   you are run over by kids on mopeds.
   

>> OS/400:  An attendant locks you into the car and then drives you to the
   store, where you get to watch everybody else buy filet mignons.