Actual quotes from Federal Employee Performance Evaluation:

- Works well only when under constant supervision and cornered like a rat in a trap.

-His men would follow him anywhere, but only out of morbid curiosity.

- I would not allow this employee to breed.

- Since my last report, he has reached rock bottom and has started to dig.

- This young lady has delusions of adequacy.

- She sets low personal standards and then consistently fails to achieve them.

- This employee is depriving a village somewhere of an idiot.

- Not the sharpest knife in the drawer.

- Got into the gene pool while the lifeguard wasn't watching.

- Got a full 6-pack, but lacks the plastic thingy to hold it alltogether.

- A gross ignoramus--144 times worse than an ordinary ignoramus.

- A prime candidate for natural deselection.

- Bright as Alaska in December.

- Donated his brain to science before he was done using it.

- Fell out of the family tree.

- He's so dense, light bends around him.

- If brains were taxed, he'd get a rebate.

- If you gave him a penny for his thoughts, you'd get change.

- It's hard to believe that he beat out 1,000,000 other sperm.

- Some drink from the fountain of knowledge, he only gargled.

- Was left on the Tilt-A-Whirl a bit too long as a baby.