Rules for Writers:

   1. Remember to never split an infinitive.
   2. The passive voice is to be avoided.
   3. Do not put statements in the negative form.
   4. Proofread carefully to see if you words out. 
   5. Eschew obfuscations & ampersands.
   6. Parenthetical remarks (however relevant) are unnecessary. 
   7. If you reread your work, you can find on rereading a great deal of 
repetition can be avoided by rereading and editing. 
   8. Contractions aren't necessary. 
   9. Foreign words and phrases are not apropos. 
  10. One should never generalize. 
  11. Eliminate quotations. As Ralph Waldo Emerson said,
 "I hate quotations. Tell me what you know." 
  12. Analogies in writing are like feathers on a snake. 
  13. A writer must not shift your point of view.
  14. Be more or less specific. 
  15. Employ the vernacular.
  16. One-word sentences? Eliminate. 
  17. Also, a preposition is a terrible word to end a sentence with.
  18. Don't overuse exclamation marks!!
  19. Place pronouns as close as possible, especially in long sentences,
as of 10 or more words, to their antecedents.
  20. Even if a mixed metaphor sings, it should be derailed. 
  21. Who needs rhetorical questions? 
  22. Exaggeration is a billion times worse than understatement.
  23. If any word is improper at the end of a sentence, a linking verb is.
  24. Writing carefully, dangling participles must be avoided.
  25. Avoid trendy locutions that sound flaky.
  26. Always pick on the correct idiom.
  27. Everyone should be careful to use a singular pronoun with singular nouns in their writing.
  28. The adverb always follows the verb.
  29. Avoid cliches like the plague.
  30. Comparisons are as bad as cliches. 
  31. And don't start a sentence with a conjunction.