Name: Pope Easier Rhino I
Homepage: http://geocities.datacellar.net/easier_rhino
E-Mail:
Referred By: Search Engine
City/Country: Deni... forget it, stupid joke
Comments: FROM: Pope Easier Rhino I
Subduer of the Infidel, Lesser-Known Pontif and Prelate of the Online Cathedral of Greater Enlightenment and Stuff, Booer of Gooses, and Obfuscator Supreme of Clichédom, Long May He Clonk
TO: Comrade Elmo
Minor Dictator

Dear Sir or Madame or Cabbage,
In light of your flagrant disregard of international treaty as evidenced by the fact that your site was one which Pope Easier Rhino I saw when he was feeling this way, please be informed that a state of war now exists between our countries. Pope Easier Rhino I had hoped that this conflict could be resolved peacefully, and indeed there is still time for you and your puny so-called army (if so it can be called) to run screaming from the field of battle in terror at the sight of the might and demonic power of the armies of Pope Easier Rhino I. Indeed, these very armies have recently been victorious in numerous wars and conflicts too minor to call wars against various other peoples who succumbed to their might without even realizing it, but Pope Easier Rhino I wished to give your puny forces a fighting chance to see their doom coming in waves and waves of onrushing doom. It is not too late to get down on your hands and knees and kiss the ground that Pope Easier Rhino I walks upon.
Pope Easier Rhino I had originally thought to sign a so-called "Non-Agression Pact" (if so it can be called as well, not an army, a "Non-Agression Pact", or maybe it really is your army in disguise you sneaky devil you) with your country and live in peace, but his advisors advised against that course of action because they were pretty sure they could take you. Also they said you looked like a girl, unless you are a girl, in which case you looked like a very small root vegetable of some sort, and Pope Easier Rhino I's advisors felt that they could definitely take a root vegetable, especially a small one. So instead of the olive branch of peace, Pope Easier Rhino I and his country extend the olive branch of total destruction. They look much the same, but Pope Easier Rhino I was told by his advisors that they mean radically different things.
The long and the short of it is that, should you and your pitiful forces fail to capitulate and do various humiliating things to show just how capitulated you really are, Pope Easier Rhino I and his armies of purest doom will have no choice but to ride down upon you like a tide of doom, sowing doom in your peoples' fields and feeding extra-large helpings of doom to your peoples' domestic animals. Also, they have large cannons which shoot a mixture of doom and acid. You don't want to mess with those cannons. As a matter of fact, Pope Easier Rhino I himself doesn't want to mess with those cannons, so he usually lets some expendible underling mess with them for him.
From henceforth, a state of direst war exists between our two peoples.
Pope Easier Rhino I hopes this message finds you well.
Signed,
Pope Easier Rhino I
Who Can Refer To Himself in the Third Person When It Suits Him