With all this tracy/screed stuff floating around, how could I resist? Clean Up in Aisle Seven (01/02) by carly Tracy took the canned peaches of the shelf and compared prices. She'd done this with just about every item she'd picked up so far and it was driving him crazy. "Just -pick- one would ya?" Ignoring him for the umpteenth time. She was going to take her time, having only one day a week to actaully run her errands, he wasn't going to stop her. "Screed, if it's such a bother for you, go look at the magazines or something." Screed resisted the urge to stomp his feet like a spoiled child to emphasize her tone. "They don't 'ave any un tha' Oi read." "What do you mean? I know I saw the new issue of "The Hockey News"(tm) on that rack." "Thems ain't mine . . . they're Vachons." "Mmmhmm, Mr. "I thought he got that touchdown" himself. Sure." "Just hurry up already!" "What am I hurrying for? Do you have a date?" Screed gave her a stern look. "Maybe Oi do." "Then you'd better get going, the sun will come up in a few hours." "It's midnight!!" "Oh good!" She taunted him. Tracy grinned at the peaches, having never looked up at him. "Then I've got more time than I thought." Screed let out an exasperated sigh and crossed his arms. He leanded against the rack of canned veggies and waited. She put down the peaches all together then and pushed the cart away from them. "Yer not even going to take 'em now!" "Nope." Tracy said turning the corner. "I hate peaches." Screed stomped after her, forgetting to contain himself. Next up, junk food. The tall shelves were stocked full of various kinds of cheese poofs, pretzels, chips and of course pop. Tracy didn't even really look at the labels now, she just loaded her cart up with cases of Coke(tm) and Pepsi(tm) for the thristy caffiene addicted DP's at home. Screed bent down to stare at a bag of BBQ flavored potato chips. "Did ye see 'ow much cholest-frickin-al there's livin' this stuff?" "That's why we're buying them for Javier." "Ah, Oi see." He smiled, padding after her a little more happily now. "Do yer thug types need tha' much creamy soda?" "Mary started spreading around this stuff a few days ago, now we've got thugs sprawled on the floor going through withdrawl. It looks like a massacre in there." "Oh." A thought struck him. " 'Ey does tha' mean theys be needin some med-i-cation?" "Hmm?" "A Nightie-gale type to fix 'em up. Oi's could do that proper. And roight glad to ob-leige." Tracy looked at him over her shoulder. "I know what you're thinking and I 'm telling you now to stay out of the mansion." " 'Ey that lil fire headed bird told me Oi's could go there anytime Oi wished." "I know she did." Tracy frowned. "I"m going to have to have a talk with her." Tracy leaned all her weight against the cart now -- so weighed down with cans of pop she couldn't move it. "Screed, push this for me. Please?" She added after seeing his expression. "Is there anything you wanted while we're here?" "Oi hafta think about it, Oi do. My dom-i-cile is needin' a good spit an polish. Can we git some of tha' smellin' sweet stuff? Tha stuff on the telly tha says it can eat up stink?" Tracy nodded. "Sure." She turned down another aisle and smiled as Screed stopped dead in his tracks. "What's the problem now?" "Oi'm not goin down there. Oi'm not." "Oh you're such a man. Come on. It's harmless, I promise. Besides, this is blood we're talking about. Should interest you." She enjoyed teasing him because he never got mad. He actually seemed to never get the joke when it was on him. In reality, he was the only one who would go shopping with her. Apparently, Vachon had sworn off grocery stores since that unfortunate lobster incident. Nick always made up some excuse and Lacroix jsut laughed when she asked. And none of the DP would come with her. They all wanted Mrs. Hitchcock to do it -- however she too had sworn off grocery stores because of that smae damn lobster. Screed walked down the exact center of the aisle, trying not to look directly at the pink puffed packages or the blue boxes. Winged, or overnight. He shuddered. "Can we git out o' here now?" Tracy laughed. "Sorry, we need some extra absorb--" "Oi don't wan to 'ear it!" He suddenly took off running down the aisle, knocking people out of the way. Tracy looked up in time to see him hit the brakes and skid into a display of Macaroni and Cheese. Dropping her head into her hands, she tried not to laugh as several stock boys came running over to help the old sailor out from underneath the pile. end part one You'll have to forgive me. I'm a little hyped up on coke(tm) and just had a -interesting- trip throught th super market. Did another full moon happen or is my hometown just full of weirdos? From: Lore8132 Back by popular demand. Clean Up in Aisle Seven (02/02) by carly "Mary, I'm telling you, the Coke(tm) baterial thing only happened in Europe. We're -not- going to die." "And how do you know, missy?" Mary said putting the six pack of Coke(tm) back down yet again. She turned and walked away then, as Carly snuck it back into the cart. "Put it down, Carly." Mary called from the next asile. "Uh-huh." Carly answered, ignoring her and examining a box of Fiddle Faddle(tm). "Oh! They've got the almond kind!" "The almond kind? Get the peanut one." Ren said, bringing up the rear of the trio of DP. "Or just buy those gold fish things." "Goldfish? When there's this whole display of Fiddle Faddle(tm) calling us?" Carly leaned her face against one of the boxes on the shelf. "Take us home, Ren. We -need- to be eaten. Take us home! Consume us in front of the billionth screening of "Clue". Throw us in the hair of the DP who sit on the floor and won't get out of the way. Ta-" "That'll do, you little loony." Ren said, pinching the shorter thug's arms playfully. "Hey watch it! I just got tattooed! It's sore there." " Wha' are you gettin' more inkin' done fer?" Carly and Ren turned around to see Screed leaning against the shelves of Crunch n' Munch (tm). "Screed, what are you doing in a -grocery- store. They don't seel humans here, you know." "Nah, but they do 'ave the best selec-it-ion of squeakers roun' back ways." Ren and Carly were visibly not happy about that. Ren put the wrapped steak back down on the counter soundly. " I -told- you not to eat that crap." Screed followed them down the next aisle where they found Tracy and Mary doubled over, laughing hysterically. Screed actually blushed, staying back a few paces trying to avoid the inevitable taunting. "Oh, I -wish- I could have seen that!" Mary said, finally dropping to here rear on the floor. "Oh . . god!" Tracy straightened when she saw Screed, trying to bite back more laughter. Mary, having no such tact, just leaned against the wall of canned peaches and gasped for air. "Did they clean up all the powdered cheese?" "No! It looked like the aftermath of a BareNaked Ladies Concert!" Tracy said, moving to throw and arm around Screed's shoulders. "And all because little words like "Kotex" and "Super Absorbent" make Screed here scream and run like a school girl." Ren and Carly were laughing now too, although they had only the slightest inkling what was going on. Carly moved to put another arm around Screed. She got really close to his ear and said., "Always with Wings (tm)" Tracy, Mary and Ren screamed with laughter as they whole group started moving down the aisle. it was suddenly becoming a war chant. "Super maxi!" "Without applicator!" "For light days!" "Moisture locking core!" "Summer's Eve!(tm)" "Midol(tm)!" Screed just marched down the aisle, female arms still around him, as he started humming to drown out their yelling. It wasn't until they got to the check out counter when the night manager of the store came stalking up to them. "Please, ladies! If you don't keep quiet, I'll have to ask you to leave." Screed's smile was wolfish. " 'Ey now birdie. Who's the blushing red-like 'un now, eh?" Tracy turned her frightening smile back on the night manager, who was already stomping away. Carly, Mary and Ren were laughing again, this time running away with the cart. "Tracy got burned! Tracy got burned!" They sang as they tried running faster using all three of their body weight's to push the immoveable cart. They weren't succeeding. Tracy was gaining on them. Carly let out a yelp as Tracy got ahead of her. "Run! Run you guys!" She stopped, laughing so hard it took her breath away. Screed was suddenly behind her, lifting her over his shoulder and carrying her back to the car. Mary and Ren, with the far longer legs made it back to the car, but were laughing to hard to handle the keys properly. After dropping them a fifth time, both blonds hit the ground and tried to stop laughing as Tracy decended on them. "Oh it's -funny- is it?" Tracy joked, waving her hands in their faces. Screed had brought Carly down off his shoulder, but still held her inches from the ground, making her swing her legs in vain. They were both laughing too, as Tracy turned to them. "And what to -you- think is so funny?" Carly bit her lip, suddenly finding herself next to Mary and Ren in a 'about-to-be-grounded' row. They bit back their laughter as Tracy turned back to Screed who was grinning like the cat who got the cream. Or in this case, the carouche who got the cat. She punched him on the arm, knowing that it wouldn't affect him any. In fact, he just stared at her until she turned around and got in the car. As Tracy started the engine, and popped open the power locks, Screed leaned in close to the three trapped DP. His smile was huge. " Jock itch." the end *snickers* well, diet coke(tm) will do that too you!! carly Lore/ Lilandre IM : Lore8132 The Dark Perk Mansion : http://www.welcome.to/dpmansion Send you fic to : Lilandre@WitchsBrew.zzn.com "Shop smart. Shop S-mart!" "Hail to the King, Baby!"