Just a piece of fluff to brighten all the Cousin’s days, especially the Addicts! Usual disclaimers, No Spoilers, enjoy!

Intervention

By: Mary Jenkins (12-98)

Mary sat at her computer, drinking a double mocha and munching on popcorn. She was innocently working on her Anthropology term paper when temptation over took her. She guiltily opened a word file she had vowed to leave alone until after she finished her schoolwork. There before her lay her unfinished Lacroix/Natalie story, she felt slightly ashamed at neglecting her paper on language variation, but began to work on it anyway. She was typing happily away, chuckling occasionally to herself when all of the sudden there was a loud pounding on her front door. Confused, because it –was- extremely late. Mary called out, "Who is it?"

"Pizza delivery," Came a strangely garbled reply.

‘Odd,’ Mary thought, ‘I didn’t order any pizza.’ She was puzzled but since she -was- hungry, she went to the door anyway.

"What’s on it?" Mary asked through the door. She heard mumbling on the other side of the door, as if several people were discussing her question. After a moment there was a reply.

"Mushrooms, olives and pepperoni." Came the answer, in the same slightly garbled voice, as if someone were trying to disguise his or her voice.

"I’m a vegetarian, I didn’t order that!" Mary called out, annoyed because she –was- hungry and pizza sounded good. She heard what sounded like cursing on the other side of the door.

"Sorry, my mistake." Said the pizza deliverer’s voice.

Mary went back to work on her story. Giggling madly to herself as she had Lacroix leave a single red rose on Natalie’s pillow. After several minutes pasted there was more pounding on her door. ‘What the-?’ She thought.

"Who is it?" Mary called out again.

"Girl Scout Cookies!" Came a very high singsong voice. Mary was perplexed and was about to say something when she heard. "Fool, girl scouts at four am?" She heard running, then all was silent.

Mary shrugged and went back to work. Then there was more pounding on her door.

"U.P.S." There was a pause. "We, um, er, I have a package for a Miss Mary Jenkins." Said a voice from behind the door. It sounded suspiciously like the girl scout’s voice and exactly like the pizza deliverer’s voice.

"U.P.S. at this hour of the morning?" Mary asked bewildered, she hadn’t known they’d deliver stuff so late!

"Ah, Yeah, It looks pretty important." Came the reply.

Mary wasn’t stupid, she was pretty certain this was part of some practical joke set up by one of her philosophy club chums, she about to tell them to go away or she’d call the cops when the voice continued. "It’s marked Forever Knight Tapes, first season."

After hearing that, Mary forgot all her suspicions and threw open the door. "Where do I sign?!" She squealed in joy.

But there was no U.P.S. delivery person on her doorstep. Six toga wearing women were standing there looking at her.

"Who-who are you?" Mary asked, frightened now. "And where are my tapes?"

"You’re Mary Jenkins?" Asked a woman in a green toga, apparently the leader. "The same Mary that has posted three Lacroix stories in the past week?"

"Yeah, what of it?" Mary replied, trying to sound brave but failing.

"We’re from Nunkies Anonymous, this is an intervention." Stated a girl about the same age as Mary, this one in a yellow toga.

"You’re an addict!" Chimed in an older woman in a pink toga.

"I am not!" Shouted Mary in denial, backing up as the women entered her house.

"Oh yeah?" A woman in a blue toga challenged, she then held up an 8x10 glossy of Lacroix. Mary just stared at it, her eyes glazed over and she started mumbling incoherently under her breath.

"Sure, you’re not an addict." Chuckled the first woman in green. She turned to her toga-wearing cohorts. "She’s got it bad!"

The six women grabbed Mary, who snapped out of her trance then. "Hey, where are you taking me?" She was scared now.

"Toronto!" A girl in a purple toga answered, "You’ve got to confront your addiction! We’re taking you to meet Nunkies at CERK!"

"NO!" Screamed Mary, writing about Lacroix was one thing, if she actually met the 2000 year-old-vampire she’d be a puddle on the floor! "I can’t meet him!"

The six women laughed at her, "You act like you have a choice here!" Said the girl in the yellow toga. "This isn’t about what you –want-, it’s about what you need! You’re an addict!"

And with that Mary was hauled out of her house into the cold, unforgiving night.

~~~~~~~~~~~~

Mary Jenkins,

Cousin, NA, and the Dark Perkulator