Background--My fellow Dark Perk (Laura) was having a bad day, she asked for something to cheer her up, but instead…she got this <eg>

Okay Laura, this one's for you! Usual disclaimer, etc.

Pity Party

By: Cousin Mary (6-98)

Laura walked into Dark Perk Mansion, actually, she crawled.

"What's wrong with you?" Ren looked with concern down at her sidekick.

"I didn't get that job, I don't get to see the guy who looks like Lacroix in Vegas and I think I'm coming down with something." Laura curled into the fetal position under the kitchen table.

Ren prodded her friend with the toe of her shoe for a bit, but Laura refused to come out.

Just then, Mary wandered in. "Why is Laura under the table?" She asked as she poured herself a nice cup of coffee.

"Bad day." Ren explained.

"Ah." Mary nodded, "Okay, I guess we'll just have to throw an old fashion 'Pity Party.'"

"Party?" Laura's voice carried out from her hiding place.

"A pity party." Mary corrected.

"Wh-what's that?" Laura asked in a small voice.

"Did I hear someone say 'party'?" Carly and Shana came running into the kitchen.

"Yep!" Ren grinned. "A Pity Party for Laura!"

"Oooo! Great!" Carly squealed.

"So where are we gonna take her?" Shana asked.

"Wait a sec." Laura protested, getting worried that everyone seemed to know what was going on except her. "I don't know if I want to-"

"Ha!" Mary laughed cruelly, "You act like you expect us to give you a choice!" With that, the DP Godmother flicked her wrist and the Thugs dragged Laura out from under the table and hauled her out to the Pinkmobile.

As they were stuffing her into the trunk, Eric, Maya and all the other Thugs came running to the driveway and either threw themselves into the car or grabbed one of the many DP motorcycles and prepared to follow (no one wanted to stay home if they were going to throw a party for Laura). Soon a large convoy of Thugs was driving down the highway, completely ignoring Laura's muffled expletives coming from the trunk.

After what seemed like hours (at least to Laura it did, actually it was just a couple minutes) the Thugs arrived outside a conveniently abandoned warehouse and pulled a disheveled Laura out of the trunk.

"What are we doing here?" Laura blinked as her eyes tried to adjust to the late afternoon sun.

"Well, we're gonna have a party of course!" Mary explained, pulling her friend in through the warehouse's rusted doors. (This is after Ren had sawed off the padlock with a hacksaw <eg>)

Someone had remembered to bring several thermoses of iced coffee and somewhere along the way Kim had picked up a chocolate cake with pink icing. Once the appropriate sugar and caffeine levels had been reached in each Thug's blood, they began to find ways to amuse themselves.

Eric (who'd remembered to bring a CD player) switched on some Blues Brothers and Laura sang loudly as it played. There were dozens of old dusty crates scattered around the place, so with the help of some nifty dark pink crowbars, the Thugs started to investigate.

"Won't we get in trouble for breaking in here?" Laura asked Mary suddenly.

Mary paused in the middle of her interpretive dance (to coffee) and smiled, "Don't worry about it, I've taken care of everything."

Laura shrugged and returned to the party, she was having way too good a time to worry about a silly little thing like if she was committing a felony or anything.

After awhile, the CD's were turned off and they were treated them all to a few Janis Joplin songs ala Carly. After that, they all played dress up in some of the fantastic period costumes they'd found in some of the crates.

"These are great!" Laura exclaimed, examining the hand-stitching, "So authentic!"

Ren, Mary and a few others exchanged sly little smiles, but no one said anything.

A few hours later, the sun was just about to set and all the Thugs were all outside by the car and motorcycles getting ready to go home.

"Thanks Mary," Laura gave her friend a hug, "This party was just wonderful."

Mary just smiled at her, "You're worth it." Suddenly Mary started patting up and down her sides, she looked worried, "Gee Laura, I think I left my keys in the back, can you go grab them for me?"

Laura gave a little mock salute and dashed inside, only to hear the roar of engines and the peals of tires. Running outside she discovered that the Thugs had all abandoned her!

"What?!" Laura started to cry, they had left her here, in a big full skirted costume (they'd even taken her real clothes!) with no money, no way to call for a cab. Did they think this was funny?! "Well it isn't!" She shouted into the growing darkness.

Suddenly she heard a <woosh> behind her, spinning around she beheld Lacroix in all his Roman glory!

Laura opened her mouth to say something clever. Nothing happened. She tried to something that was at least coherent. That didn't happen either. She had to settle for "Ergft!"

Lacroix raised one eyebrow at her but said nothing.

All at once Laura realized something horrible. This was Lacroix's warehouse! Centuries of knick-knacks, more than even the Brick. They'd been playing with Lacroix's stuff! Mary had known! "Damn her skinny blonde hide!" Laura mumbled.

"Who are you blaming this on?" Lacroix took a step towards her, "And why have you been going through my belongings?"

"Um, er, ah." Hooked on phonics worked for Laura.

Lacroix took another step towards her, he had received an anonymous phone call earlier telling him that there was 'something afoot at his warehouse and that he should investigate.' Of course he had had to come, he had identified the voice as that of Tracy Vetter (he did pay -some- attention to his son's life you know) So finding one of her, now what did they call themselves, Dark Perks?, was not too surprising. Though finding one so lovely, in a pale green ball gown, was.

While Laura was still trying to figure out that whole speech thing, Eric's CD player (which had been left on a timer) started to play, a classical waltz. Inspiration struck, "Care to dance?" She asked.

Lacroix was rather amused by tonight's events (though he'd be sure to order a thorough inventory later to make sure the little Thugs hadn't stolen anything) but Laura was another matter entirely. He'd always thought the dark strawberry hared beauty had been unique among the NA, but seeing her on her own like this, in the moonlight, was another matter entirely. So she wanted to dance? He said nothing, just pulled her into his arms and showed her what an excellent dancer he was, and what superb partners they made.

>>>>>>>>>>>>>>

Hope this cheered you up Laura! I also hope you find -some- way to get home <eg>

Love, Mary