WAR: Returning Home
Place: DP Mansion
Time: Tuesday the 28th, morning
After- Even More Paperwork!
By: Cousin Mary (Jenkins)
Mary walk back into the Mansion with a smile on her face, ‘Just wait ‘til the Vaqs gets a load of that!’ She slipped into a Dark Perk moment for second, giggling madly and foaming at the mouth. She pulled her dark pink Harley into the converted carriage house that served as the garage and made her way into DP Mansion. All the lights were on, but that wasn’t unusual, no Thugs had been bothered by anything as mundane as sleep since the war had begun.
Humming something by Nine Inch Nails, Mary didn’t bother pulling out her keys (the house recognized her an welcomed her in by swinging open the door for her.) "Thank ye kindly." She smiled to the house as she entered, the creaking hinges seemed to answer ‘you’re welcome.’
Mary grinned as she looked around her new home. She could hear the shouts of joy and groans of disgust coming from the second floor gallery as a number of the Thugs had their archery practice with varying degrees of success. Mary moved further into the house and saw two Thugs fencing, they were slowing working their ways across the marble floors of the foyer, when the saw her they stopped. Since they were both wearing masks, Mary couldn’t tell who they were, but she waved and they waved back before resuming their combat and disappearing into the ballroom. Mary smiled, it didn’t even phase her when the limestone gargoyle carved into a column supporting the staircase smiled back at her. ‘I guess I’m starting to get used to this haunted house business.’ She mused. Of course as soon as she had that thought, a loud crash and screaming came from the kitchen area.
"Will you two shut up already!" It was Shana and she sounded mad.
Mary rolled her eyes, what now?
"This isn’t helping," Tracy’s voice now, "And put down the meat clever Jenn, you don’t need it, and Shana, drop the frying pan."
Hearing that, Mary ran to the back of the house. "What the heck is going on?!"
Anne and Jenn looked at her with wide tear-filled eyes and sang, "Cousins, identical cousins!"
Mary stopped short, "Huh?"
"We’ve been attacked," Tracy snarled. "Again."
"What? Who, how?" Mary was more than a little confused, she’d just got back from avenging the DP against the Vaqueras, and they’d already been attacked again?!
"You could lose your mind!" Jenn bit out, obviously trying to say something different, but only theme song came out.
"When cousins are two of a kind!" Anne added earnestly.
"Can’t we gag them or something?" Shana asked.
"That’s all they can say, the song from the ‘Patty Duke Show.’" Tracy explained at Mary’s blank look. "And –no- we aren’t gagging them." She shot Shana a glare.
"How?" The DPmom asked.
Anne held up a bowl full of dark pink buttons, when Mary reached out to take one Anne slapped her hand away. For a moment Mary considered retaliation, but then realized Anne meant the buttons were the cause. She looked closer, they seemed to be covered with some sort of powder. "Who’s responsible?"
"Cousins, identical cousins!" Jenn sang.
"The Cousins?" Mary asked.
Jenn kept her lips tightly sealed and nodded.
"But how do we know it was them?" Tracy asked.
"Who else would force our gals to sing about ‘cousins?’" Shana said wryly.
"Identical cousins." Anne added.
"Please? Just a little gag?" Shana groaned.
"No." Mary snapped. "But which Cousins? The main one’s, light cousins, addicts-" Mary paused, "am I missing one?"
"I don’t think so." Shana chewed on her bottom lip as she thought. "Well, I’d say this sounds more like the Light Cousins than anyone else."
"But not necessarily." Mary said wearily, "And I don’t want another fiasco like last night, let’s –try- to get the right culprit this time okay?"
"Who cares?" Shana shrugged, "I say, attack ‘em all and let the Warmistress sort it out." But when she caught Tracy’s disapproving glare she added, "Or maybe not."
"We have to be certain." Mary said, "But how?"
"We could just have the box dusted for prints," Tracy said simply, "It seems almost everybody in these wars has a criminal record from past attacks."
"Okay, that’ll work." Mary nod, stuck by the simplicity of it, the plan that had been forming in her own head had involved industrial construction equipment, maybe a crane.
"Shana." Tracy said.
"Yes ma’am?" Shana stood at attention and gave a saucy little salute.
"Take this box to forensics, ask for Murray, tell him I sent you and I need a favor." Tracy ordered, ignoring Shana’s theatrics.
"Aw," Shana came close to whining. "Why me, why not send Mary?"
"Because Mary and I are going to have a little –chat- as soon as we get the two Pattys talking right again." Their leader sounded seriously ticked at the DPmom.
Shana’s eyes widened, she gave silent thanks that Tracy didn’t want to –chat- with her. She took the box, leaving the lid incase the Thugs needed the instructions, and high-tailed it out of there.
"Um," Mary began nervously. But Tracy shot her a quick glare and she held her tongue.
Tracy turned her attention back to the two afflicted Thugs, who were still humming theme song. "Okay, says here it’ll wear of in a couple days on it’s own. Maybe if we just get you some pads of paper you can write everything you need to say." The ever practical Det. Vetter offered.
Jenn and Anne’s faces lit up with smiles. Jenn grabbed a notebook from off the fridge to write her thanks. But as she brought pen to paper all that was written was //They walk a like, they-talk alike, at times they even-// Jenn managed a frustrated growl as she chucked the offending papers across the kitchen. Then, she went to where the notes had fallen and jumped up and down on them for awhile until she felt better.
"Okay, guess that’s not an option." Tracy said wryly.
Mary stood looking at the lid, "Maybe it’s like the hick-ups? And we can scare it out of them?" She offered.
"Maybe," Tracy nodded. "Anne, Jenn, go stand against that wall over there."
The two Thugs looked confused, but followed the detective’s orders none-the-less.
"Now," Tracy turned narrowed eyes on Mary." "Let’s talk about what you were up to yesterday."
"Um," Suddenly Mary was very glad she wasn’t in a vampire-based faction, Tracy looked angry, but at least the Idaho Thug didn’t have to worry about becoming dinner. Of course, Tracy was black-belt in Aikido, kick-boxing and karate, she didn’t have to have fangs to reduce her to a dark pink smear on the tiled floor. "Yesterday?"
"Don’t play innocent with me Mary." Tracy said, her voice was emotionless, but her eyes sparkled with rage. "You used my ID yesterday, imagine how surprised I was to learn I’d apparently visited City Hall at 4:30 yesterday morning?"
"Um, I had some paper work-" Mary began, but Tracy didn’t look too impressed. "I was attacking the Vaqs."
"Oh?" Tracy arched an eye-brow. "What did you do?"
Mary told her and the homicide detective grinned wickedly and even chuckled a bit.
"But the fact remains," Tracy said sternly, "You used a fake ID."
"Yep, I used –your- fake ID." Mary grinned, she had her now.
Tracy was taken aback, "Darn," she mumbled, suddenly realizing the philosophy major had her there. She couldn’t admonish the DP-godmother for something she’d done time-to-time herself. Tracy gave a small growl and walked over to the corner of the kitchen.
Mary smiled to herself, quite pleased with herself for ducking that one. But then she glanced over to what Tracy was doing and paled.
Tracy was standing in front of kitchens large collection of knives, cleavers, and daggers (hey, Thugs are an odd bunch and daggers make nifty steak knives!) Choosing three perfectly balanced silver daggers, Tracy turned an walked back towards Mary.
The DPmom gave an audible gulp. "Ah, Trace?"
Vetter just smiled and began juggling the lethal cutlery. The Thugs watched in horrified fascination as the sharp metal went flying through the air only to be plucked up and tossed again by their leader.
"You are –not- to use my ID or name anymore Mary." Tracy hissed.
Her eyes following the daggers, Mary just nodded.
"Say it." Tracy insisted.
"I won’t do it again." Mary promised in a hushed whisper.
"Good," With a grin Tracy threw one of the daggers at Mary.
The DPmom screamed, but the dagger went sailing past her. And right at Anne and Jenn still standing against the back wall!
Anne and Jenn screamed, but the dagger sank harmlessly into the wall between them, mere inches from each Thug’s head. The wall began to bleed.
"God darn it Tracy! You nearly killed us!" Anne yelled.
"Yeah! What the heck was that all about?!" Jenn shouted. Suddenly the to Thugs stopped, realizing they weren’t singing!
"Oh my god!" Anne gasped, "It worked!"
Tracy gave a crooked smile and headed for the door, making sure Mary handed over her jacket and ID first. "Glad to be of help. See you guys later."
The three Thugs all exchanged a glance, their hearts all still beating wildly from nearly being skewered. "Um, thanks Trace." Jenn said.
"Bye," Anne and Mary waved.
>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>
~fin~