Well Caeryn was lucky today, she got to go to the dentist! *hums 'little shop of horrors'* Oh wait, she -isn't- a masochist you say? Gee, guess she'll need a cheer-up-fic then!

Usual disclaimers, permission to archive granted to DPs

And Fear Leads to... Dentistry?

By: Cousin Mary

Caeryn held her jaw as she dug through the 'fridge looking for A) something with caffeine, B) something cold, C) something pre-chewed. She'd just gotten back from the dentist... the evil dentist and her mouth was killing her!

"What're you looking for?"

"Ooow!" At the sound of a voice Caeryn jerked back and up.... now not only did her teeth hurt, so did the top of her head! "Dummit!"

"Uh, sorry."

Caeryn spun around, ready to chew out the sadist behind her (or, considering her day... she'd at least give him a vicious gumming!) "Wha- da 'ell da ya thi-k yar doin' sneakin' uhp un me?!" Suddenly she realized just who she was che- er, gumming out, Vachon! "Vah-on!"

The Spanish vampire blinked, "Why are you talking like that?"

Caeryn blushed, "I 'ad ta go ta tha dence-t," She explained, opening her mouth and showing him the gaping bloody holes that had once held her wisdom teeth. "See?"

If possible, Vachon went a little paler, "The 'dence-t'?" He repeated slowly.

"Dence-t," She nodded, "Ya know, drills, cavi-es, digs out wi-dom teece wif chil-ses?"

Vachon went a bit whiter as Caeyrn went into the gory details of exactly what the evil dentist had done to her. And using her own very vivid story telling techniques, the vampire was thoroughly grossed out. Sure draining blood with one's teeth was bad, but that was nothing compared to dentistry! He put his hand to his own jaw. "Oh God!"

"Yeah!" Caeryn nodded, her eyes filled with unholy glee. "An ya wanna know 'ow many shots they 'ad ta give me?"

"No!" Vachon yelped, he didn't do well with pain. When Tracy had shown him her appendicitis scar and he'd almost fainted.

But Caeryn was far too into her story telling to stop now. Besides, what's the point of going under the knife if you can't share the experience with anyone and everyone?!

When Vachon realized she wasn't stopping, he decided it was time to take matters into his own hands. Stepping closer her reached for Caeryn and dragged her into his arms, forcing her to look up into his eyes. "Listen to me <thump, thump> you're mouth does not hurt <thump, thump> you feel fine."

Caeryn scowled back through slightly unfocused eyes, "Your Jedi mind-tricks won't work on me scruffy one, only money."

"What?! " Vachon bit down a curse and, remembering Caeryn was a Star Wars fan, tried another approach, "Listen... Padawan, you feel fine, you're <thump, thump> going to go take a nap and when you wake up you'll remember nothing about today."

Vachon paused, realizing he'd better give her a believable memory to fill that gap, otherwise she was bound to remember. He thought about it, but creativity wasn't really his strong suit. Suddenly he panicked and blurted out, "You uh, spent the day licking jellO off of Obi-Wan!"

Caeryn smiled evilly and went limp in his arms.

Vachon's eyebrows raised up into his hairline, "That was believable?!" He asked incredulously as he carried Caeryn into the study and laid her down on a sofa. He really had to pay more attention to what went on in Tracy's faction!

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Hope ya feel better Caeryn! Comments and lollipops to anteros@juno.com