Okay, here's Laura's prize, for knowing Anteros was a Greek god. A DP story with Lacroix running around. (I'm still working on Emma's) Usual disclaimers, don't sue me, you don't want what I keep in my piggy bank (eg)
Late at Night (1/1)
By: Cousin Mary
Lacroix stared moodily down at the brandy sniffer in his hand. Swirling the deeply hued cognac, his thoughts slipped back to his most recent obsession… the Dark Perks.
He didn't know why the faction fascinated him so much, after all, they followed a -mortal-. Albeit Tracy Vetter was an incredible young woman, but still… that did not account for his interest in her newest faction!
Lacroix glanced down at the print out lying across the desk before him. It was, now what did they call themselves? Those exceptionally twisted members of the Dark Perks? Ah yes, CERK Perks, it was a piece of CP fiction. Meaning it was about him and Det. Vetter.
Lacroix smiled slightly, the CERK Perks had an absurd name, but a strangely alluring concept. His eyes fell on the name of the author of this latest work. Laura Griffin. Ah, Laura, he knew her well.
He set his glass down and lifted the fic, quickly losing himself in the story. Wonderful writer that Laura. Thoughtfully, Lacroix set aside the tale and walked to the window. Gazing out into the night, he made the decision to pay another call on DP Mansion. And this time, he'd look especially for CERK Perks.
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Meanwhile, back at Casa de Perky (aka DP Mansion) The dreaded DP Thugs, Laura and Shana were happily making paper vampires to mail to anonymously, along with tooth picks, to their local Enforcers, when Bev and Mary came running in. "Hey guys! Look what we got!"
"What?" Shana looked up, accidentally cutting a leg off her paper vamps. "Oops!" She looked at it, then shrugged, "Eh, it'll still work."
As Shana sealed the handicapped vamp into an envelope, Bev held aloft painting of Lacroix and Tracy she'd commissioned from a local artist. Tracy and Lacroix as Cleopatra and Caesar, quite appropriate they thought.
"You guys are sick! Sick, sick, sick!"
From out of nowhere a giant water balloon filled with ribena came sailing out of the blue, smashing into the back of Mary's head.
"Hey!" Came Mary's oh-so-witty retort.
Emma flung another projectile, "Tracy and Vachon forever!"
Eric, Micki, and countless other Thugs attacked then, and soon everything thing from jellO molds to rubber chickens were flying through the air.
The CP fought valiantly, or was that viciously? Anyway, they began chucking their dinners at the hordes of slacker crazed Thugs. Bean dip, banana cream pie and olive loaf soared through the heavens and landed with thunderous SPLATS along many a DP head. It was chaos, it was bedlam, it was… Wednesday!
Mary chucked a ball of sauerkraut full force at an approaching blonde Thug.
"Twinner!" Ren yelped as the cabbage slid off her face and down the front of her blouse.
"Um, sorry," Mary called back, "But you do like the slacker, and all's fair in love and war!"
"Yeah but I like Lacroix too!" Ren scooped up a fern right out of its pot and hid it behind her back.
Mary looked terribly guilty, she moved to hug her long lost twin, "Gee, I'm sorry Ren!"
"Ha! Ha!" Ren whacked her with the plant, "Vive le Spaniard!"
Fronds sticking out from every angle of her blonde head, Mary growled and began chasing Ren through the house.
Micki and Shana fenced with French bread.
Eric and June thumb wrestled with rubber monkey paws.
Bev sang loud kareoke over Maya's yodeling.
And then, Lacroix showed up.
Of course the master vampire couldn't just waltz in, this was DP Mansion after all. But he could look in the window. And what he saw made his blood run cold, er, colder.
Just then, Laura raced by with a giant inflated hammer after Jenny #2 & 3, she screeched to a halt, "Lacroix! Come in!"
"No, that's quite all right, I-" Lacroix began, but then, like a fun house wall, the window he was leaning against, turned to the side and suddenly. He was inside.
"NO!" The vampire yelled, looking desperately for a way out. Little pink demons dressed in tiny black Armani suits danced at his feet, chasing other pink demons with strangely familiar poufy blonde curls.
The housekeeper, Mrs. Hitchcock came in with another steaming plate of garlic laced tripe. And out of no where, that slackerly Spaniard emerged with Tracy on his arm. Both wielded matching chainsaws and quickly donned dark pink hockey masks.
Then, they came after him.
"No!" Lacroix screamed, looking down at himself only to realize he was dressed in a tutu and swim fins. He tried to run, but it didn't work.
Then all of the sudden… a chorus line of all the dogs he'd ever killed came barking and kicking can-can from stage left!
"AAAAAaaaaaaaccccccKKKKKK!" Lacroix sat up screaming in bed. He glanced down at his blood sweat covered body and counted his limbs. All there, he was all right.
The vampire sighed and glared at the bottle sitting on the nightstand. That was the last time he had Greek food right before bed!
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Stupid, stupid story. Laura, sometime in the future I'll write you a better one. For now, I think it's time for me to head off to bed, before I'm tempted to write again! ;-)
As always, comments to anteros@juno.com