Oct. 13th, both Carly and SC's b-days. They deserve a wonderful, loving story... instead they're getting this Usual disclaimers, permission to archive granted to the DP Shaven Monkeys and the Other Hazards of Middle Age By: Cousin Mary Carly woke up feeling great! It was October 13th, and she was now legal! "Woohoo!" She jumped out of bed and did a little happy-21 jig. Throwing her 'Studs on Ice' Hockey poster a kiss, she pulled on something vinyl, a pair ballet slippers and was good to go. In the hall she met up with SC, who was still in her black silk bathrobe and carrying her dashund, Queenie, who matched. She looked at Carly, who was waaaay too perky in her estimation, and yawned, "Good mornin'." The redhead was fairly bouncing up and with excitement, "So what ya think they have planned?!" SC and Queenie both looked at Carly like she'd lost her mind (it was a look the New Yorker got quite a bit actually,) "What are you talking about?" "You don't remember?!" A look of total and utter disbelief turned Cary's mouth into a perfect gaping 'O.' SC yawned, so did Queenie, "No, what?" "It's our birthdays!" Carly jumped up and down, "I'm 21!" "Oh is it?" SC accidentally stepped out of one of her black bunny slippers and paused to put it back on, "I should have remembered that... this is the year I stop counting." The 29-year-old quipped. "So," Carly really was bouncing up and down now, "What do you think they have planned? They always do something big!" SC shrugged, "Coffee first, worry about that later." Grumbling under her breath about wanting a party, not coffee, Carly none-the-less followed her friend down the Mansion's grand staircase. As they reached the base, the pair, plus Queenie, heard the unmistakable sounds of mischief... DP brand mischief. "Should we go and take a look?" SC asked. The noises, strange yelps and high pitched squealing were coming from the Conservatory. Unfortunately the Conservatory was in the opposite direction of the kitchen (where to coffeepots were kept.) It was quite a dilemma, pitting a DP's need of coffee against her innate sense of almost overwhelming curiosity. Which would win out? "We've -got- to peek!" Carly looked at SC, who was frozen in place as the battle waged within. She signed and grabbed her friend, pulling her towards the Conservatory. "They might be setting something up for our party tonight!" Surprising even herself, curiosity -did- win out, and SC snuck with Carly as quietly as they could down the hall. Cracking the tall, wooden doors, their mouths dropped. "What the-?!" They'd expected to find their friends filling balloons, decorating for a party. They'd been prepared to find them wiring explosives, they were DPs after all. But this... "What the heck are they doing?" Carly whispered. SC just shook her head, she couldn't believe... There was shaving cream everywhere. Tabs was holding a spider monkey, while Felicia carefully shaved it. In the background they could see Eric taking a chisel to a giant ice sculpture... of a monkey. Ren was feeding slices of banana to as-yet-unshaven chimp. And Shana was trying to coax a bald lemur into wearing the little leather jacket she was holding. SC shut the door quietly and headed towards the kitchen, "I didn't see that," She mumbled and stroked Queenie as the pooch whimpered, "I only -think- I saw that, because I haven't had my coffee yet. Bad things happen in your head when you try to function before you've had your coffee." "Well I don't drink coffee and I saw it too!" Carly declared, following her muttering friend into the kitchen and to the counter. SC stuck her pierced tongue out at her before proceeding to pour a nice mug of 100% Perfect Bean. "Mmm, hush. Coffee time now." Carly grimaced, then proceeded to have a nice little tantrum, pounding her feet and waving her arms as she stalked around the kitchen while SC indulged in her addiction. "They were shaving -monkeys-! I don't care, that's a bad sign! I mean, monkeys! What possible use can shaven monkeys have on someone's birthday?!" Just then, a horde of unruly DP teens rushed into the kitchen in a blur of dark pink. Andrea, Tiff, Miranda, SNB, Jennies number one and two, all dove into the 'fridge at once and returned with various sodas and iced coffees. They all then proceeded to pour multicolored pixie sticks into their drinks. Miranda was the first to surface from the almost instantaneous sugar buzz, she looked over to where Carly and SC were watching with expressions of awe mixed with horror. "Hey, did you say birthday? Who's b-day is it?" "Both of ours," Carly pointed at SC and herself. "Gee, you guys are really getting old!" Andrea pointed out. "Yeah, you're like middle aged!" SNB pushed her recently blue, now lifelike brown (the things she did for drama club!) out of her wide eyes. "We are -not- middle aged!" The twenty-somethings declared in unison. "Are too!" Jenny #2 pulled out a colorful pack of cards, "I bet you don't even know what this is!" SC and Carly looked at the small rendering of what might have been a cartoon rat on too many pixie sticks. "Um..." They couldn't even begin to guess. "It's -my- Pikachu!" Jenny #3 told them, snatching the card away from her friend and stashing it in her own bag. "You know you're gettin' old when you can't even identify a trend like Pokemon," Tiff tsked as she poured herself a mug full of coffee... to go along with her iced mocha. "Now," Miranda piped up again, "What was that about shaven monkeys?" "Shaven monkeys!" The rest of the teens chimed at once, "Too cool!" SC and Carly exchanged a look and decided right then and there to hit the Raven. Sure it didn't open for another 16 hours, but they'd break down the door if they had too! Whatever the DPs had planned for their party... well, a night of vampire clubbing sounded a heck of a lot safer than shaven monkeys and the other hazards of middle age! >>>>>>>>> Happy Birthday guys! And next time, I'll lay off the mochas and calm down before I write okay? ;-) Comments to anteros@juno.com