Well, I should tell you all now... when you're all nice and snug in your little beds at night, Shana and I are online egging each other on to write this kind of stuff. Sweet Dreams! (eg) Don't own 'em, no money. Archival permission to DPs.

Muses to Spare

By: Cousin Mary

"And just what do you two think you are doing?" Lacroix bellowed into the small bedroom, causing both its occupants to jump several feet in the air.

"Ack!" Mary, who'd been laying on her belly on the dark rose rug, quickly slammed her notebook closed and sat up. She sent a look up to Shana on the bed as the brunette shoved her own binder under a pillow. "Wh-what are you doing here?"

"Yeah," Shana glared at the ancient vampire who'd been her own personal muse for many months, "We haven't seen you in -ages-." She drew out the last word, illustrating how put out she was.

Mary squeaked, her life flashing before her eyes (whoa! Had she really spent -that- much time watching TV?!) "Uh, what she means Lacroix is-"

"I know what she means." Lacroix bit out, glaring at both girls. The ridiculously long legs of each scrambled as they stood suddenly, both were only a few inches shorter than him and in the small space they were actually rather a bit much, he took an unconscious step back. Then, he caught himself, and with a growl stepped closer, mere inches from each. "I have heard... distressing news."

"You mean black is going out of style?" Shana quipped.

Lacroix simply raised an eyebrow and listened to the girls' heartbeats double with fear. Bravado aside, they weren't stupid.

"Um, what news?" Mary asked.

Lacroix leaned closer, nearly nose to nose with the blonde philosophy student. "That you and your friend have been writing quite a bit lately."

"We always write quite a bit, especially her," Shana pointed out quickly, yanking Mary back a step when it looked as if she was going to faint from sheer proximity. "We always have."

"Yes," Lacroix paused to pick an imaginary bit of lint of the low-neck line of Shana's tank top. "But this was without my knowledge," His ice blue eyes came up to meet the history major's green. "Or my consent."

"Who says we need your consent huh?!" Mary piped up. A millisecond later, when Lacroix again turned his attention on her, she really regretted any and all piping.

Lacroix just raised his brow again, that expression saying it all. He looked back at Shana then, "And just who have you two been seeing in my absence?"

"Uh, well-" Shana swallowed audibly.

In the silence that followed, (as the girls tried frantically to come up with something plausible, yet patently untrue), Lacroix became aware of the sound of running water coming from the nearby bathroom. Shooting a look at Shana and Mary (who had gone stark white) Lacroix asked in a too-pleasant voice, "And who might that be?"

"It might be Liam Neeson." Shana said, and was about to make a really hilarious off-color remark, when Lacroix's sharp glance quieted her.

"I, I wouldn't go in there," Mary told him when he started towards the door, "He's, uh," She looked away, blushing with embarrassment.

"He's what?" Lacroix pressed, wondering just who and what these two were hiding. "And who, exactly, is 'he'?"

"Miklos." Shana whispered.

"And he's waxing his chest." Mary added, blushing even brighter after admitting she'd let a vamp de-fuzz himself in her bathroom.

"You're muse is Miklos?!" Lacroix stared down at Shana and Mary, who couldn't seem to meet his eyes.

"Miklos?!" He repeated, trying to fathom the Raven's bartender encouraging these two prolific and speedy writers' creative works. "Well this certainly explains why everything you two have done lately has been so bizarre!"

"Hey!" Shana and Mary's heads popped up.

"Not that bizarre is necessarily a bad thing," Lacroix added to appease the vengeful fanfic writers (lest he end up in a bunny suit in the next DP story.) "Just that it explains it."

"Well," Shana began reasonably, "If you were around more maybe we wouldn't have to use Miklos to amuse ourselves."

"Yeah!" Mary agreed, nodding. "Though," Her eyes lit up evilly, "He is starting to grow on me. Leather pants and all."

Lacroix growled as the two girls were overcome with dreamy (yet strangely disturbing) smiles. "That's it! I'm putting a stop to this once and for all!" And with that, Lacroix strode to the bathroom, ripped the door off the hinges, and dragged the shirtless bartender down the stairs and out of the Mansion.

When they were gone, Shana and Mary looked at each other.

"Think we should have told him about the other one?" Mary asked.

Shana paused and pretended to think about that for a moment, then shook her head and grinned at her friend. "Nah, more fun when we have muses to spare!"

"Yep!" Mary grinned back.

Suddenly the door swung open again and another vampire muse came walking timidly in. " 'Ey me luverlies, I brung ya those Cokes ya wanted."

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:) Late nights equal weird fic. Comments to anteros@juno.com