War: DP: Coffee in Bulk  (1/3)
Place: The road, Egypt and Bob's Bargain Barn
Time: the beginning o' the war

By: Cousin Mary, J.L. Dupre and Eric McCann

	
	Sherri and Louise sat nursing their caffeinated beverages as they waited at an 
unseemly hour for their Dark Perk Godmommy, Mary, to arrive.  

	"Do you have any idea what this is about?"  Sherri pushed her black and purple hair 
out of her eyes and sipped her super strong tea.  They'd both received phone calls from 
Mary in the wee hours of the morning to meet her at Heathrow airport.  It was odd, not 
terribly odd for the DP, but still it was odd not to get any sort of clue as to what was so 
important that they needed to be up and semi-alert at 5 in the morning.  

	"Mary said something about coffee," Louise, or LuLu as she was known when she 
was over-caffeinated, shrugged, "But though this airline gives free coffee, I don't know 
what we're doing here." 

	Sherri just stared into her tea and tried to wake up.

	"Did you bring your passport?"  LuLu asked, blinking blurrily at the clock, "I think 
she said something about bringing them."

	"Yeah," Sherri fingered her shoulder bag, "It's right here.  Brought my credit and 
bank cards, Buckstar's punch card, immunization records, SAT scores, a half finished 
letter to the editor and my library card.  I'm prepared."

	"But for what?"  

	Both girls jumped as they heard Mary's voice right behind them.  They spun, staring 
at the blonde DP with something akin to shock, even though they had been expecting her.  
It wasn't so much her sudden appearance though, so much as the only half-sane glint in 
her eye.

	"Uh, hi Mary," LuLu picked up her bag at the blonde's urging as she and Sherri 
followed her to a gate.  "Where, uh, where are we going?"

	"I got a lead on some great new coffee!" Mary grinned at them.  "Egyptian.  Makes 
the old 'Perfect Bean' look like water!"

	"We're going on a coffee run?" Sherri and LuLu shared a look, last time Mary had 
made one of these runs the whole group of them had ended up in a South American jail 
cell.

	"Don't worry guys!"  Mary said, finally catching on that her cohorts weren't too sure 
about their trip, though they –were- boarding the plane.  "It's perfectly safe!"

	Jinxed for sure now, Sherri and LuLu just groaned. 

	"But isn't there a war coming?"  LuLu pointed out the obvious, she'd taken off work 
for that, not to follow Mary to Africa!

	"Plenty of time!"  Mary assured them, "Just a quick jaunt to Cairo and then on to 
Toronto!"

>>>>>>>>>>>>>>

	While this was going on, in Toronto another group of DPs, Megan, Caro and Wolfy 
were following a very suspicious acting Anne around Bob's Bargain Barn.  A few weeks 
ago they'd heard the rumor of a coming war, nothing definite, but since Dark Perks always 
liked to be prepared (they were a good faction!) the three of them had headed up to 
Toronto to stock up the Mansion and do all the other little things needed at a time like this.  
Luckily Wolfy had stayed in Toronto since the last war so all the power and water was still 
on.

	Of course, the supposed coming war didn't explain Anne's strange behavior.  The 
green-eyed librarian was circling the warehouse super-store like a woman possessed, her 
huge cart was filled with industrial strength cleaning solvents and skin creams.   Her eyes 
kept darting around and the Thugs would swear she was hiding something, but then 
again, Anne wasn't really the type to keep secrets…

	"Uh, Anne?"  Megan stepped forward.  The Criminal Justice major's own cart was 
filled with anime, coffee creamer and cockatoo chow, but she set it aside to approach the 
librarian.  "Anne, we couldn't help noticing, you're acting sorta weird."

	"Yeah, not normal weird either, almost RatPack weird!"  Caro piped up, pushing 
aside her overflowing cart to join the others.

	Wolfy, not to be left out, gave his cart a mighty shove and walked up.  His shirt was 
camouflage and read 'Ha, Ha, can't see me!' but his expression was easily understood.  
"We're preparing for a war here, Anne, so what's the what?"

	"What?"  Anne looked up from the ingredients on bottle of acid she was holding.

	"Why are you acting all paranoid and weird?"  Megan demanded, her hazel eyes 
flashing with annoyance.

	"No reason," Anne sniffed, "Ooo, look!  Brownie pans!"

	By now a large crowd had formed behind the impenetrable wall of shopping carts 
the DPs had formed, so they started down the aisles again.  But this was not over.

>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>

	Meanwhile, across the border JL was loading up her car and preparing for a 
roadtrip.  She smiled to herself as she absently played with the bunny head she'd received 
in the mail, the traditional DP call to arms.  Her husband hadn't known what to make of the 
pink ball of fluff, but he was nothing if not supportive and after a quick call to work to tell 
them she wouldn't be in for awhile, JL had packed up some stuff and her dogs, Havoc and 
Chaos, grabbed her huge purse with blue Celtic design on front, filled with all sundry of 
things, and was ready to go.

	She was on the highway in minutes and was on humming something by Bon Jovi 
she'd heard from Caro.  She swore, that New Jersey Thug could infect anyone with her 
mallrat music!  She turned off the interstate to Charlotte, North Carolina and stopped at 
the first Buckstars she saw.

	"Mmm, coffee."  She hopped out of her car, her 'roadtrip' ponytail sitting crooked on 
the top of her head.  Inside she was staring blankly at the menu, trying to decide if she –
really- needed another triple shot mocha or if a double would do, when a girl in her early 
twenties with maroon hair and a dark pink tee shirt breezed up to the counter and quickly 
ordered a "Half espresso half, half and half, biggest ya got, I have a lot of driving to do!"

	JL eyed the girl speculatively, "You heading to Toronto?"

	The girl spun around, looking the other woman up and down before asking, "How'd 
you know?"

	JL held up her bunny head, receiving strange looks from everyone in the Buckstars 
except for the girl, who just grinned hugely and hugged her.  

	"A Dark Perk!"  The girl, who turned out to be Robin, squealed in joy.  "I didn't know 
anyone else was around here!"

	"I was just driving through on my way up," JL grinned, pushing her black hair out of 
her eyes, her pony tail wasn't so much a pony tail at this point as a big ribbon bound mass 
of hair hanging in her face.

	"Think I can catch a ride?"  Robin asked.

	"Sure!"  JL grinned, "You do like dogs though?  'Cause Havoc and Chaos are with 
me."

	"Yeah, dogs are good," Robin grinned, happy about not having to make such a long 
drive by herself.

	"Well," JL paid for her triple shot mocha and turned back to Robin, "I have downed 
more caffeine than is recommended by law and I just drove all night.  But with this," She 
held her cup aloft, "I'm good for at least 5 more hours."

	"Sounds good," Robin cracked her knuckles, "Lemme get my stuff and we can go.  
Toronto here we come!"

>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>

Hours later, a DP loaded plane landed in Paris.  But much to Sherri's dismay, they 
had no time for sight-seeing, as they were quickly informed that their connector flight was 
leaving in fifteen minutes from terminal 79.  This was really bad, since they were in 
terminal 3.  

	Luckily LuLu was a great runner, and well, Sherri and Mary didn't have much 
choice but to try and keep up.  So Sherri hauled up her black lace skirt up to her knees 
and took off after the British Thug while Mary wheezed behind.   They made it with all of 2 
minutes to spare.  

"Well that was invigorating!"  LuLu grinned, stretching happily after the exercise.  
"After that long flight it feels good to get to move doesn't it?"

	Mary just doubled over and hyperventilated, trying very hard not to pass out.   
"Yeah, <gasp> great <gasp> fun."

	Sherri patted her on the back, "Come on Mary, can't be -that- bad."

	Mary nodded, "That <gasp> bad."

	A look of concern passes over Sherri's face as she handed the attendant their 
tickets and helped her friend to their seats.  "Are you going to be okay?"

	"Yeah, sure," Mary's color was starting to come back now, "Nothing a pot of coffee 
and a pound of truffles won't fix."  She grinned.

	Sherri and LuLu smiled back, assured that their Godmommy wasn't going to keel 
over dead quite yet.  

>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>

Tally Ho!  anteros@juno.com




War:  Coffee in Bulk  (2/3)
Place: The road, Egypt and Bob's Bargain Barn
Time: the beginning

By: Cousin Mary, J.L. Dupre and Eric McCann


	Caro packed her supplies into the back of the pink-mobile, the huge pink caddy the 
DP had acquired in one of the past wars.  She briefly paused to consider the chaos she'd 
left behind her, she'd received her bunny head in the mail and taken off immediately after.  
Her school's evening build crew was probably wondering where she was… though she –
had- left the pink, stuffed head in her locker so her close friends would quickly figure out 
what had happened to her.

	Her black lined eyes scanned the parking lot and landed on Anne, who was still 
acting might suspicious.  Megan and Wolfy were already sitting in the back seat of the 
pink-mobile talking about swords and other weaponry.  "Hey, Anne!  We're leaving!"

	The librarian's head jerked up and she nodded before climbing into the passenger's 
seat.  "Good, I have a lot of brownies to make before everyone else shows up.  I put 
espresso in the you know."

	Caro smiled, okay, maybe Anne wasn't acting –that- weird.  Anne's brownies were 
the stuff of legends!   


>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>

	"Drivin' along in my automobile!"  JL and Robin sang out at the top of their lungs as 
they cruised up the interstate, "A coffee fiend beside me at the wheel.  Will make Mounties 
cry in a few more miles, NIN here on our radio dial!"

	Suddenly their car made a horrible sputtering sound and gave a giant belch of 
black smoke from beneath the hood.  JL pulled slowly to the shoulder as the car went into 
something that sounded an awful lot like a death rattle.

	"Oh that's probably not good," Robin said between coughs.

	JL's eyes were bugging out of her head.  She'd just had it tuned up not that long 
ago.  She whimpered, "My car!"

	Just then a dark pink Magnum (the car, not a gun) rolled to a stop behind them.

	"DPs!!!"  Came a shout from the slightly open window.

	Eyes wide, JL and Robin turned as two men came bounding out of the car.  Both 
men had brown hair were at least six feet tall and dressed in something most people 
would call 'business casual' with a lot of black.  Did they know these guys?

	"JL and Robin right?"  The taller of the two men asked.

	The girls exchanged a look, this was either very lucky or very creepy, they just 
weren't sure which.  "Uh, yeah?"  Robin answered finally.

	The shorter, and by shorter we're still talking 6 feet, man smiled, "I'm Eric, this is 
Gubs, and it looks like you two could use a ride."

	The girls gave a relieved grins, just fellow DPs, not sinister hitchhiking killers!  "Ah, 
first should we see if my car could be fixed?"  JL asked.

	"Nah," Eric answered even as JL's car gave one last loud <creaklestup!> and died.  
"This is a War story and as such things will happen for convenience's sake."

	"The War killed my car?!"  JL cried.

	"Should have gotten a rental," Gubs shrugged as he popped the trunk and started 
loading their bags into the Magnum.

	"Wait," Robin said suddenly, "Eric, aren't you from Oregon and isn't Gubs from New 
York?"

	"And how could we possibly be driving up to Toronto together?"  Gubs raised an 
eyebrow.

	"For convenience's sake," Eric said simply. 

	JL frowned, but squeezed into the Magnum anyway.  Stupid convenience.  

	Robin walked around to the other side of the car and opened the door, pushing 
aside a large number of things.  Eric's iMac and laptop, a few books, some tools, a case of 
Silly String, some canvas, tarps, wire, pillow stuffing and lots and lots of miscellaneous 
computer parts.  Even a sandwich baggie filled with memory chips.  "Wow, you guys sure 
have a lot of computer stuff."  She pointed out.

	Gubs and Eric exchanged an amused look, "That's nothing, you should see what in 
back!"

	"More computers?"  JL asked.

	""Yeah, not as pretty as this stuff though," Eric explained, "Some of it fell off a 
trunk."

	"You mean it's stolen?"  Robin asked, eyes wide.

	"No, it really fell off a truck," Eric shrugged and then pulled back onto the highway.


>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>
	
	When Sherri, Louise and Mary disembarked the plane they were struck with a wall 
of heat.   It was still nearly 90 in Cairo and after the chill of Paris they welcomed the heat.  
"So what now?"  Louise asked.

	"Someone's supposed to meet us, " Mary told then, "I hired a guide."

	Sherris's black eyes scanned the waiting crowd, skipping past the grinning families 
to the people holding up placards.  The optimist in her looked first to the limo chauffeurs, 
but other than one man holding up a sign that proclaimed he was waiting for "Godot," 
none looked like they were waiting for someone they wouldn't recognize.  Next she moved 
on to the taxi drivers, but no luck.  Lastly she looked over the remainder of the crowd and 
finally, in the back she spotted a man, dressed in dusty khakis and a pith helmet, holding a 
piece of paper with Derk Parks hastily scrawled across it.  "Ah well."  She grumbled, 
yanking on her friends' arms.

	Mary, her brain finally starting to process thoughts other than 'it's nice and warm' 
focused on the man, who looked like an extra from an Indiana Jones movie, and cringed.  
This wasn't too promising.  This didn't look like a regular tour guide, this looked like the 
start of a bad B movie...  And experience told her that with her and the DP's luck, this 
wasn't going to be in any way, shape or form a quick and easy errand.

	The girls squared off their shoulders and marched over to the man, "We're them."  
Mary said, indicating the name on the sign.

	The man looked them over quickly, obviously impressed by the trio of women.  
"And I, my good ladies, am Reginald Humperdink-Mills, the third."

	Mary blinked, and Louise stifled a comment, as the man went on to explain that he 
was to be their guide to the 'Valley of the Kings'... where'd they veer a sharp left and 
explore the lesser known 'Valley of the Pastry Chefs.'  

	"The Valley of the...?"  Mary raised a brow, but the man mistook her shock for 
approval and went on.

	"Pastry Chefs!" He gave them a huge gap-toothed grin, "Quite exciting what?  Yes, 
we will be going in by caravan, we leave at dawn, so be ready!"

	"Dawn?"  Sherri asked, looking at her watch, then realizing her home time had little 
bearing on this situation, she looked around the airport for a clue to the time in Cairo.

	"Yes, in exactly," Reggie-Dink pulled out an ostentatious pocket watch, "Four and a 
quarter hours.  Quite exciting eh?"

	"You do realize we've been on one plane or another for almost a full day now?"  
Mary asked in a dangerous tone, one their guide failed to miss yet again.

	"Yes!"  The Englishman nodded, his toupee sliding forward slightly at the vigorous 
movement,  "Which is why I shall hurry you to your elegant lodgings for the night and 
return for you at, say five AM?"

	"How about we say 11 AM?"  Sherri yawned.

	"What?"  Reggie-Dink looked confused for a moment, then burst out laughing.  "Oh, 
I see, Har, I say, Har Har, you and your exuberant American humor! Har Har Har."

	The girls exchanged a look, they were beginning to think their guide was a few 
beans short of a latte.  "Right," Mary said slowly, "Uh, how about you just take us to the 
four star hotel now?"

	"Oh, not just any hotel," Reggie-Dink smiled, "This is much better than that, an 
adventure, quite right!"

	Louise had a bad feeling about that, but followed Mary and Sherri as they grabbed 
the carry-ons and followed after their guide.   

	Their 'elegant lodgings' turned out to leave a lot to be desired.  Think Bates motel, 
transplanted into a very run down section of Cairo, infested with more species of insects 
and small animals then you can see on the Discovery Channel in a given week.  And that 
would still be painting too pretty a picture.  

	Basically the girls spent the remainder of the night shooing all manner of creatures 
out of their room, and trying to figure how the heck to  say Orkin Man in Arabic.  When 
dawn came the Dark Perks were seriously considering trying to jump an ocean liner and 
stow their way back to Toronto, new coffee variety or not.

	"Morning ladies!"  Reggie-Dink called out as he swung open the door to their room.

	Louise almost smashed him with the broom she still held.  "Coffee?"  She 
demanded, her grip tightening on the handle.

	Again the man failed to sense the danger he was in, "Coffee?  Why, I suppose we 
could stop for coffee before we head out."  He frowned slightly, "But I really hadn't planned 
on it."

	"Change of plans," Mary growled, knocking her friend's arm and watching the 
broom bristles crash into their guide's head.  The three girls giggled evilly.

	"Um, quite," Reggie-Dink adjusted his toupee, finally realizing that these women 
would not be put off when it came to their morning coffees.  But soon his natural 
cheerfulness won out over that insight and he again smiled hugely, quite certain that the 
incident with the broom had merely been an accident.  "Come, I know just the place.  Even 
serves Yank food!"

	"Doodle dandy," mumbled Mary.

	The DPs followed him down the rickety stairs and out to his equally rickety jeep.  
Minutes later they arrived at 'Mitsy's' an interesting little dive that smelled of food that 
reminded the DPs of Mrs. Hicthcock's home cooking (meaning whatever was cooking 
smelled more like boiled asphalt than anything edible.)  But they had coffee and that's all 
that really mattered.  After several cups of the syrupy-thick coffee, the girls were again 
among the fully awake... artificially as the case may be. 

By the time the sun was peeking over the desert horizon, they were seated atop 
camels  (making really bad Vaquera jokes) and on their way to the ...Valley of the Pastry 
Chefs! 

	When the sun was high in the sky, the DPs were once again contemplating 
squashing Reggie-Dink like the bug he was.  The man hadn't stopped singing show tunes 
for the last 3 hours!  The H.M.S. Pinafore seemed to be his favorite... if they had to listen 
to "Modern Major General' one more time they could not be held responsible for their 
actions.

	"Ah ladies," The guide said grandly, dismounting his camel and pointing over to a 
row of rather unimpressive rocks. "The Valley of the Pastry Chefs!"

	The girls exchanged a look and slid off their camels, hoping to get this over with 
quickly and get back into town... where they'd book rooms at a real hotel and maybe just 
order some beans from a local distributor to have sent back home.  

"All right, fine, show us," Louise said, with about as much enthusiasm as a dental 
patient.

Reggie-Dink smiled hugely at them again and trotted down between two rather 
large rocks.  The DPs shrugged, handed the camel reins to the camel handlers and 
followed.  Surprisingly their guide actually led them into a semi-interesting chamber.  
Pulling out their flashlights, the girls examined the hieroglyphics and 'oohed' and 'ahhed' at 
all they saw.

	Reggie-Dink was busy in one corner, translating some long ago forgotten flan 
recipe, when Mary noticed something odd.  "Hey Sherri, Louise," She whispered, "Come 
here."

	The brunettes pulled themselves away from a scene that depicted something that 
looked like a rabbit peeking out from behind a clump of reeds, and headed over to the 
Godmommy's side.  "What's up?"

	"Look," Mary pointed at a lovely squiggle that Sherri imagined probably meant 
something to somebody.  "Um, nice."  She nodded.

	"Do you know what this means?!" 

	Sherri looked at her, she hoped Mary could read it, otherwise she was getting -way- 
over excited.  "Squiggle, frog, cat head, tree?"

	"Yes!"  Then Mary blinked and looked at her with a smile, "Its phonetic though, 
see?  Qa'ra!"

	Louise went white, "Wasn't that Divia's master?"

	"Yeah!"  Mary nodded enthusiastically.  "Meaning?"

	Sherri put the pieces together, "They come from a long line of pastry chefs!"

	"Yeah!"  Mary grinned wickedly, trying to figure out a way to share this information 
with the world at large without Lacroix killing her.

	Sherri giggled, wishing she had access to her email right them.  God the CERK 
Perks would just -love- this one!  

	"Hey!" Reggie-Dink called out, "I say, what are you three up to?"

	"Nothing!"  They called out in unison, never had three people sounded more guilty.  
Lucky for them, their guide hadn't gotten any brighter in the last ten minutes and he 
missed it completely.  

Unluckily for them, however, was the fact that when Reggie-Dink took a step 
towards them, he stepped right in the middle of the hidden door trigger mechanism.  The 
tomb door slammed shut in the blink of an eye.  

"Oh hell!"  Mary cursed, "We're trapped!"

"Don't worry ladies!"  Reggie-Dink assured them, "Mustafa and the others in the 
caravan shall save us!"

>>>>>

Outside, Mustafa and the others in the caravan distributed the luggage evenly 
amongst themselves and headed home.  Reggie-Dink had never been the best judge of 
character...

>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>

Tally Ho!  anteros@juno.com




War:  Coffee in Bulk  (3/3)
Place: The road, Egypt and Bob's Bargain Barn
Time: the beginning

By: Cousin Mary, J.L. Dupre and Eric McCann



	Back at the newly aired out and cleaned Dark Perk Mansion, the DPs that had 
been at Bob's Bargain Barn were back and putting away their supplies.

	"So everyone's been notified?" Megan asked as she stowed away a huge case of 
Pocky.

	"Should be, everyone's either been sent a bunny head or they're with Mary 
already," Anne looked up from alphabetizing the non-dairy creamers.

	"Where is Mary anyway?"  Wolfy asked, "Shouldn't she have been here first?"

	"The bunny head I got from her was postmarked from London," Caro added.

	"She on her way to Egypt, said she heard about this special ancient variety of 
coffee, something only the Pharaoh's were allowed to drink," Anne was co-leader of the 
DP and if there was anyone who knew where Mary was it'd be her, "Apparently it would 
kill anyone who wasn't a living god it was so strong."

	"Oooo," All the DPs looked suitably impressed.

	"Did the Pharaoh's even have coffee?"  Caro asked, "I thought coffee came from 
Columbia."

	"The coffee tree is native to Ethiopia."  Wolfy piped up, "From there it spread 
throughout the Middle East and until the 17th century all the coffee of commerce came 
from Arabia.  Slowly, the efforts of Dutch merchants spread cultivation to the East Indies.  
Coffee cultivation began in the Americas in the early 1700s."   Finding all eyes on him, 
Wolfy blushed, "I did a report for school."

	"So Mary, Sherri and Louise are bringing back ancient Pharaoh killer coffee?"  
Megan asked.

	"That's the plan," Anne smiled, pulling out a mixing bowl to start a new batch of 
brownies.  

	"Wicked!"  Megan and the other DPs grinned.


>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>
	
	Meanwhile, the great American road trip was crossing the border into Canada when 
Robin started to look a little green around the gills.

	"You don't look so good," Gubs commented from behind the wheel, "You want me 
to pull over?"

	"No, not yet," Robin forced a smile, "I just get a little carsick on long drives."

	"Aww, well, try not to think about it," Eric suggested.

	"Yeah think of something else, something nice, " Said JL, "I know!  Think of Nick.  
You like Nick don't you?"

	"Not really."  Robin went a shade greener.

	"You don't?  Then who was it who liked Nick?"  JL frowned, "Oh well, the point is to 
distract you from your tummy.  So think of Nick."

	"Think of Nick," Gubs grinned evilly, already pulling the car over, "Think of Nick 
naked and covered in jellO."

	"Erup!," Robin went completely green, "Pull over!"

>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>

	
	Trapped in the total darkness of the tomb, Reggie-Dink showed his true colors... 
various shades of yellow.  When it became clear that his staff was not opening the door 
from the outside  (and was indeed on their way to loot his house...) their brave, intrepid 
guide, promptly fainted.

	Mary shone her flashlight down on him, "Well that does us a lot of good."  She 
griped. 

	Louise shone hers around the perimeter of the tomb, looking for a way out, or at 
least another trigger mechanism.  She noticed an awful lot of squiggly lines on the walls, 
but that's about it.  "That does it," She walked over to the rabbit fresco again, taking solace 
in the fact that it looked vaguely DP, "I knew coffee might very well be my downfall, but I 
never imagined it would end like this!"

	Sherri giggled as she saw Louise hold light under her chin and make a face at her, 
"Geez LuLu, you look like a monster!"

	Louise started to comment back when all of the sudden she heard a low rumbling 
coming from the wall behind her, "What the-?"  She reached out her hand and ran her 
hand over the painting, she pet the rabbit, then moved on to the reeds where he was 
sitting... 

	"Louise?"  

	"Come here," The British Thug ordered, continuing her perusal of the wall.  As Mary 
and Sherri came to stand beside her, shining their own lights onto the reeds too, they saw 
it, a small oddly shaped button.  "What do you think?"

	Mary paused, then looked around the dark, dusty chamber one last time, "Go 
ahead, not like we have much choice."

	Louise nodded, took a deep breath, and pushed it.

	Nothing happened.

	That was sort of a let down.  Seeing as they'd spent the last twenty minutes setting 
up for a really dramatic action scene and all ;-)

	Then, just as our heroines were beginning to give up hope, off to their left a 
previously unseen door slid open.  The musty scent of stale air flooded the room, cold and 
bizarre after the desert heat.

	"Who dares disturb the sleep of Qa'ra, pastry chef of Ptolemy?"  

	The girls stifled yelps of terror and commenced cowering in a convenient corner.  
Obviously Divia's master had risen too, but apparently he hadn't been ready to make the 
blazing quick flight to Toronto like his fledgling had...  Mary started to open her mouth to 
say something, when the demon's red glowing eyes fell on their guide...

	*slurp!*  It weren't pretty.  "Erp, 'scuse me."

	The DP turned to each other and screamed, "Aaaahhhhccccckkkkkk!!!!!"

	The ancient pastry chef spun around, and while his hunger was now sated  (poor 
Reggie-Dink!)  he was still not a happy camper.  "You!  You three dare disturb me?!" 

	"It was an accident!"  Sherri shouted, closing her eyes really tight and hoping that 
by some miracle they would survive this.

"We're just looking for coffee!"  Mary waved her ticket book in his general direction, 
really wishing it were a cross, stake or at least something more menacing than a ticket 
book.
	
	"Oh," Qa'ra blinked, "Why didn't you say so?"  

	"Huh?"  The DPs uncurled themselves from their fetal positions and looked up as 
the ancient vampire walked over and pressed another hidden button, the door to another 
chamber slid obediently open as well as the door that led out.

"There you go, town's five miles to the east, help yourselves to the coffee," He told 
them with a yawn, then disappeared back into his burial chamber.

The DPs looked at the door, at each other, then scrabbled as fast as they could to 
gather the many small bags and get outside.  Luckily for them there were still a couple of 
camels idling about, some would say slacking, but hey, we like the Vaqueros. <eDPg>  So 
they loaded up bag after bag until the poor beasts tried to bite them and then the DPs 
grabbed the reins and walked back to town.

	By the time the girls made it back, it was getting dark, their shoes, hair and clothes 
were all full of sand and for the last twenty minutes Mary had been swearing up and down 
that next time they would order their beans from a catalog!

	"Come on Mary," Sherri said, brushing the sand out of her cat ears and off her 
black lace dress, "It wasn't that bad!"

	"I guess not," Mary sniffed, looking up and down the road for someplace, any place 
that would sell them coffee in the already liquid form, "Look, 'Mama Carafes.' "

	The girls wandered over to the coffee shop and settled down to order two small 
cups of the rocket fuel that passed for coffee in the Middle East and a cup of tea for 
Sherri.  Idly Louise pulled out her book o' tickets and flipped it open, "So, when does our 
flight out leave?"

	Mary shrugged, smiling her thanks to the waitress that brought their blessed java 
and then peering over LuLu's arm at the tickets she held.  "Oh hell!"  Her eye went wide as 
saucers and her jaw dropped.

	"What?"  Sherri looked across the table at them at and blinked.

	"Look what time our next flight leaves!"  Mary pointed.

	Louise looked down, "Oh no!"  She gulped down her coffee, threw down money 
and a tip and yanking on her friend's arms, raced for the exit.  They had exactly twenty 
minutes to get back to Egypt's answer to the Bates Motel, pack and get to the airport!  

>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>

	After the unfortunate incident where Robin threw up on a Mountie, which they all 
swore never to speak of again, the road trippers were a bit more subdued.  Sure they 
were still over-caffeinated and singing along loudly with the radio, but the dancing had 
slowed down a bit.

	"Are we there yet?!" JL, Gubs and Robin chorused as one.

	Eric raised his eyebrow at their antics, "Don't think I won't turn this car around."

	"But are we there yet?"  JL whined.

	"Actually," Eric looked around, surprised himself, "We are." 

	"Really?"  Gubs sat up straighter.

	"No, least another hour."  Eric smirked.

	"I'm beginning to hate you," Gubs made a face before settling down for a nap.

	"But we're here," Eric pulled into a driveway.

	Gubs looked out the window, they were there, "Huh."

	
	"Hey guys!"  The road trippers got out of the Magnum and looked over at the taxi 
three sand covered girls were piling out of, another taxi was parked behind them, filled to 
the brim with small three lbs bags.  

"Give us a hand with this will ya?"  Mary called out.

JL ran up the walkway and pounded on the front door, "We're here!!!"

"Did you bring coffee?"  Megan was the first out the door, she was rooting through 
the second taxi without even looking any of the newly arrived DPs.

"Hello to you too Megan," Sherri smiled as she started unloading the bags. 

"Can't talk, coffee," Megan said from behind the pile of bags in her arms as she 
disappeared back into the Mansion.

And with that all the DPs set to work unloading the coffee and computer equipment.  
Except Anne, who strangely could not be found…


Let the war begin!

>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>
Tally ho!  anteros@juno.com