War: DP: Love, Lust and Lunacy
Place: DP Mansion
Time: Saturday night, after:  "Come Into My Parlor," Said the Spider to the Spanish 
Fly

By: Cousin Mary and Anne Jensen

	
	Mary floated back into the Mansion as if on a cloud.  Javier, Javier Vachon.  
Ah the name just rolled of the tongue.  "Javier Vachon."

	Swinging open the heavy wooden door, she let it slam behind her as she did 
small, happy twirls on the marble entryway.  Mary went up to her now barely peach 
room and, ignoring that eyesore of a Lacroix poster, went to her closet and started 
tossing around her clothes.  "Too pink!  Vachon doesn't like pink, does he?"

	"Hmm, maybe my black leather pants and blue tank," Mary held up outfit after 
outfit, trying to find a look that was sultry with just a tinge of slacker… for her Javier.  
She sneezed then, grabbing her dark pink tissues and setting the whole box next to 
her.  Damn winter cold.

	"Those eyes," Mary mused, "Like the darkest chocolate."

  	"Talking about him again?"  Caro stuck her head in Mary's door and then the 
rest of her entered, "He is just so terribly lickable."

	"Mmm," Mary nodded, "What do you think?  Black, blue or should I just go get 
Tracy's Babe Cop outfit?  Or there was the one from Trophy Girl…"

	Caro started digging through Mary's closet, eventually pulling out a slinky red 
dress, "Here, try this one.  Looks like blood."

	"And my baby does like blood," Mary stripped and pulled the tight little 
number on, "Hey, kick over my black boots okay?  The one's with the heels."

	"Sure," Caro grabbed them, "Hey, you going after him?  I thought, you know, 
PG war.  Not that I don't understand!"  She laughed, "Miklos –is- irresistible!"

	"Miklos?"  Mary made a face, "I don't like him.  He's too, too I don't know, but 
he's too something.  Vachon!  Now there's a real man!"

	"What?"  Caro's voice was low and a bit cold, "You're kidding right?"

	"Not at all!"  Mary was twining a red ribbon in her hair, "I mean, sure Miklos is 
all muscular and has an accent, but Vachon!  He has, um, something."

	"I'm sure he does.  Can probably be cured with penicillin too," Caro quipped, 
"But, you're serious aren't you?  I mean, Vachon?!"

	"He's wonderful!" Mary sighed.

	"That's just not natural.  That's it!"  Caro lunged at the DP Godmommy and 
put her in a headlock, "You're coming with me."

>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>

	Anne was back in the kitchen, making more brownies, which, as usual, were 
being consumed at a ferocious rate.  She'd even been reduced to eating Wolfy's 
coffee-free brownies, since the coffee variety were gone as soon as they were cool 
enough to eat.
 
"Are they ready, yet?"  Wolfy asked coming into the kitchen.
 
"Close."  She gave the bowl another stir.  "I just need to put these in the pan, 
and then bake them for half an hour and we're done.  With this batch."  She hastily 
dumped the batter in the pan and stuffed it in the oven so she could grab at a tissue 
for her runny nose again.

"Everybody has colds," Wolfy said, grabbing a tissue for himself, "Must be all 
the parties, we're just passing things around."

"Not very good attacks," Anne smiled, "Sniffles."  

Suddenly the relative tranquility of the kitchen was broken by a loud, angry 
bellow, "AANNNNNNEEE!!!!!!!!"

So loud was the bellow the two DPs were too stunned at first to answer.  So 
the bellower repeated, "AAAANNNNNNNNEEE!!! WHERE THE HECK ARE 
YOU?!!  WE'VE GOT A SITUATION!!!"

Wolfy jumped up from his chair, "WE'RE IN HERE!!!!!!!"

Seconds later, Caro appeared in the doorway, the blonde head of the 
Godmommy still tucked under her arm.

"Lemme go!"  Mary huffed, "I have to go to the Church!"

Anne frowned and looked at the clock.  "It's a little late for the vigil Mass, but if 
you want you can come with me when I go to St. Joan of Arc's at 6:30 tomorrow 
morning."
 
"Not church Church!" Mary protested, trying to wiggle loose. "Vachon's 
church!  Wonderful, wonderful Javier Vachon!"

"You're not going anywhere!"  Caro told her, squeezing a bit tighter.  Mary 
squeaked, but stopped struggling.

"Uh, Caro, why do you have Mary in a head lock?"  Anne asked.

"She's acting crazy," Caro jiggled Mary again, eliciting another squeak.

"Most of the DPs have been acting crazy," Wolfy pointed out, "I mean, more 
so than normal.  Really, the talent show…"

"The talent show was fun."  Caro insisted, "Mary's just plain delusional!"	

"Am not!" Mary squawked.

"Are to," Caro growled, then looked to Anne and Wolfy, "Watch this.  Mary?  
Who's the most gorgeous vampire in Toronto?"

"Javier Vachon," She cooed back.

"Mary, how much cold medication have you had?" Anne pointed out.  "I 
thought you couldn't stand him."  She rubbed the spot on her back 
again--her own mark of a character she disliked.
 
"That was before I realized just how –wonderful- those big brown eyes are."  
Mary gushed, her romantic prose broken by the three sneezes in quick succession.

	"Eww," Caro dropped her, "She sneezed on me!"

	Mary took this chance to run off, grabbing the cordless phone off the wall as 
she went.

	"What the heck's going on?"  Anne watched as her co-leader bolted, Caro 
and Wolfy hot on her tail.  Just then the timer dinged and she automatically grabbed 
the over mitts and pulled out the brownie pan.  Mentally she want over all the strange 
things she'd seen her fellow DPs do this war and slowly realized that yes, Wolfy was 
right, things were a lot more crazy than usual.  Of course, even crazy didn't explain 
Mary's new love for the former J.D. Valdez!

	"Got her!"  Wolfy yelled, appearing later tugging on one of the Godmommy's 
arms while Caro held the other. 

 "She locked herself in the hall closet and called him!"  The blue-hared Thug 
was very upset, "She was saying things!  Things that should only be said to 
Miklos!!!"

"She called Vachon?"  Anne's green eyes widened, wondering what the 
Spaniard had made of that.

"I am right here you know!"  Mary struggled, "And why shouldn't I call him?  
He's a major babe!  He's like a mocha!  Dark hot and oh so tasty!"

"Ewww!!"  Caro was just horrified, "Just stop that now!"  She turned to Anne, 
"What do we do?"

"We need to get an old priest and a young priest," Wolfy quoted the Exorcist. 

"No, she's not possessed!"  Anne was exasperated and as she looked over 
at Mary, who was still clutching the phone, she sighed, "Looks like we have no 
choice."

"But we can't kill her!  It's against the rules!"  Caro cried.

"Not kill her!"  Anne shook her head, "We've got to toss her in the jellO 'til this, 
whatever it is, clears up."

"Oh boy is she going to hate herself in the morning!"  Wolfy laughed, 
dragging Mary towards the basement door.

"No!!!"  Mary began struggling again, but between Wolfy and Caro she was 
very much outmatched, "Javier!!!  JAVIER!!!"  

>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>
anteros@juno.com