Once upon a time thare wuz a 'andsome, er, -nice- guy named Screed. 'E met this luverly bird named Tracy, 'e called 'er Baby Jane.

Welly, at first Tracy wuzn't too keen on ol' Screed. In fact, she entertained serious-type thoughts 'bout stakin' 'im out fer tha buzzards ta gnaw.

But eventually 'is natural charm won 'er ov'r and she wuz 'is! They were a 'appy couple en wanted ta tell their friends en pals immeetly-like.

At first none o' their mates were too 'appy, in truth, one in particular wanted to off poor ol'-fool-fer-love Screed.

But Tracy made 'im 'reconsider' en 'e gots tha idea that it was better ta wish 'em 'appy! So 'e took up drinkin' tequila and Screed en Tracy bought a 'ouse in the suburds.

Now Screed en Tracy are tha picture o' bliss. They 'ave a bow-wow named Sparky Jr. en 'ave opened up a coffee/pet store, fer tha discerning pet owner.

En they lived 'appily ev'r aft'r!

Tha finito!