My name is Ed. I was once just a plain old gravedigger, my buddy chaun and me, dig the grave throw in the body cover the grave. It wasn’t bad work, until the fighting started, then it became a lot more work, digging day and night. At least we new we always had jobs. Unfortunately one day this very strange umm, I guess you could call him a man, showed up and offered us better jobs. Or so he said. I accepted right away, get myself out of the graveyard and into the fast track for something, I didn’t care what. Turns out it was the same job I was doing but in reverse now, dig the grave gets the body fill the grave.
I do now have a few powers it seems though, I can reanimate those bodies I dig up. Seems I am what the undead call a gravedigger of saluel, didn’t know they had a special term for my crap ass position. So I feed the undead army with lots of zombies, seems I never get a break though, what could the do with that many dame walking rotting corpses. Come to think of it I probably don’t want to know.
Everything was going well for about a year or so, but I was tired, so I figured take one day off what’s the harm. Well when your boss catches you chasing some fianna trollop through the forest instead of working, he gets a might upset. Last I remember was running after her cute little bum through the forest then nothing. Woke up I guess about three days later a little different. Seems boss man wanted to teach me a lesson and make an example of me to others, I was turned into a zombie. I am still able to perform my job unfortunately.
About a week ago my boss’s boss called me to his HQ. Told me to bring whatever I had dug up with me. Well that’s a fun lot, a couple of farmer zombies, I guess, they are carrying scythe’s. a few soldier zombie’s, these guys actually have swords and some armor. Three of those little dwarf bastards, nasty little lot they are. A huge wolfen I turned into a zombie, must have gone off to die or something, he was just lying around dead so I figured I would try my skill on him, and it worked. Scared the hell out of me even, really big and ugly. Somehow I attracted a, ooh what did the dwarves cal her, oh yeah a banshee. Nice looking lady, well maybe at one time, now she has a removable head and tentacles where her legs are supposed to be.
So a week at least with this bunch, kill me please. The trip wasn’t to bad till about day three, we had camped near a fianna encampment. Not to close to it but close enough, my earlier failure at catching a fianna caught up to me and I went out searching for one. They found me instead, luckily they didn’t kill me, but they did cut off parts of my body that I would like to have remained attached. Well guess what, it grew back, thank the gods. Even though no women will come near me, except that banshee which kind of scares me, I would still like to have that attached. Well, after that debacle I decided to stay with the group all the time, which hurts my head to no end. Those dwarves are the most annoying lot of gits I’ve ever had the bad luck of knowing. Like all zombies, they are starting to rot and loose parts of their skin and body. One of the little bliters lost his entire face, muscle and all, when it caught on a branch and he pulled away to hard, pretty damn funny site to see him try to put his face back on. I t5hink the worst is when we dared one of em to try and find out what’s up the banshee’s skirt, we wanted to know where the tentacles stopped. One of his buddies distracted the girls head while he snuck up and lifted her skirt, well I guess she still has some connection to her body because the head screamed, and the body grabbed the dwarf by one arm and pulled real hard. Ever seen a dwarf with no skin? It’s pretty funny, he still wont tell us what he saw under there unfortunately. So you can guess I was pretty exhausted by the time I got to the bosses HQ. He tried to explain where he was sending the gits and me but I wasn’t listening, something about some conference I think. Maybe it’s a peace conference and I can stop digging up these corpses and just go and chase fianna all day.