The New Times #3: The Guilt of Time

By: Meg

Chapter 1: Henra

    I woke up. I don't know why I woke up on that fateful night.
    Maybe I sensed something was amiss. My teachers at the Academy said that-
    No. Don't think about the Academy.
    Anyway, I woke up. I lay there for about 20 minutes, until I heard something crack. I looked up from half- slumber. Devilin was getting up!
    I followed him, until I was close enough to hear the words. To my horror, he was performing the ceremony of atonement. That ceremony involves ritual suicide!
    I saw what he was doing, and I couldn't help myself.
    < Devilin! NOO! >
    < Don't interfere! > He yelled at me.
    < Oh, no, you don't! >
    < What the-Henra? Dev? > Tobias asked winging into the clearing.
    Tobias has taken to sleeping in his hawk body. Since he cannot be trapped, he says it reminds him of the "old days". None of us had asked him what that meant.
    < Tobias, go get help NOW! > I yelled.
    He left. I dove towards Devilin. I loved him; I wasn't about to see him die. I brought up my tail blade. He blocked it with his own, and, then, I was in a duel to save the life of the man I loved.
    I delivered three lightning-fast swipes, with the flat of my blade, to his head. He blocked them.
    SWOOSH!! FWAPP!! SWOOSH!! FWAPP!! SWOOSH! FWAPP!!
    Just then, my Prince, Garrison and brevet-Prince Aximili-Esgarrouth-Isthill, galloped into the clearing.
    < Arisths Henralina and Devilin! WHAT are you doing?? > My Prince demanded. Devilin's stalk eyes oriented towards Prince Aximili. Just the break in concentration I'd been waiting for.
    SWOOSH!! I aimed my tail blade at his head. He saw it, just in time, and ducked. I kicked him in the chest. He reeled backwards, and I had him.
    I oriented my tail blade towards his head. I struck with all my muscle and speed in a graceful killing blow that my instructors would have been proud of, despite the anti-female bias at the Royal Andalite Homeworld
Military Academy (RAHMA).   Dazed, he couldn't offer any resistance.
    At the last second, I twisted the sharp edge of my blade away, and hit him with the flat.
    He dropped like a sack of dry cement being propelled off a docked Dome Ship.

Chapter 2: Rachel

    I was dreaming.
    < Rachel, bad news. I'm trapped again. > Tobias's disembodied voice from far off.
    I ran, and ran, and ran. I was back in the Yeerk Pool, the hellish place where I had narrowly escaped death so many times. As I ran, I saw nightmare flashes, scenes of violence, from my life as an Animorph.
    Erek the Chee, ripping Hork-Bajir and humans up.
    David, threatening, cursing, realizing he was trapped as a rat for the rest of his pathetic life. Howling thoughts of revenge, pity, begging, pleading.
    Me. The warrior no Hork-Bajir wants to face. What have I become? Who am I?
    I have killed, killed, killed. My mind went to the faces of what seemed like every Hork-Bajir or Taxxon I had ever killed. Blood, blood, blood! Their blood on my hands! I was drowning in a sea of blood!
    < Rachel! Wake up! > Tobias's voice said, repeating that over and over. Until something feathery dropped on my chest.
    Wait!
    I sat bolt upright in bed, and panted. I saw a raptor, a bird of prey, right next to me. No! For a moment, I flashed back on that morning, that horrible morning. When we discovered proof of David's treachery. Ax,
coming to tell me Tobias was dead.
    No. Don't think about that. Put it out of your mind.
    < Rachel, Rachel, it's me > the hawk was saying.
    The hawk. Tobias. Yeah.
    "Tobias? What's wrong?" I asked him, as I stripped down to my morphing suit (I am always wearing it, now).
    < Something's happened > he said, right as a beak popped out of my mouth.  he said, hitching on reminders of his being trapped. < Anyway, I woke up. I flew a little way, and I saw Dev and Henra. >
    "So? They feeeenillie decedad-" < to cement their relationship. >I said, as I could use thought-speech then.
    See, it's common knowledge that Dev and Henra like each other. They think it's a big secret, but everyone knows about it.
    < No. They were fighting > he said matter-of-factly.
    I froze. < Could one of them be taken by the Yeerks? > I asked.

    With that, we both winged away.

Chapter 3: Xelt

    < I'm sorry, Devilin, Henralina > I said, as I tied them up. I also tied their tails, so they couldn't use them to cut the ropes.
    < Yes, if you are Controllers, we can't allow you to escape > Prince Aximili said.
    "I'm sure you understand" Marco said in a conversational tone of voice. "We come here, in the middle of the night, and find the two Andalites least likely to fight, fighting to the death.
    < We understand > Henralina said.
    I believe you do.

    Chapter 4: Marco

    "Ellimist!" I groaned.
    All the Andalites, minus Ax, looked downright scared. Ax himself was nervous.
    Ax put on a brave front, though. < Ellimists don't hurt us > he said to the other Andalites. < Though he is sometimes a burden and an annoyance. >
    Not this time, PRINCE Aximili. Before I forget, let me congratulate you on a promotion wel deserved. But now I will assume a mortal form to talk to you all as equals.
    With that, the Ellimist shifted into a human.

    He-or SHE- took the form of a girl maybe three or four years my junior.She was VERY attractive, and only the fact that she was an Ellimist stopped me from love at first sight.
    "Hey, you look very healthy. Very fit and all. What's your diet? Where do you get your acne medicine?" I asked, a lame joke I know, but it started a chuckle from Tobias, and a grin from everyone else. Plus, it was all that I could think of-I was still stuck on the Ellimist's beautiful human girl form.
    The Ellimist looked at me very seriously. "You may call me Eskamya. I am an Ellimist. We-I- have decided you should know more about our race. Suddenly, we were speeding through the universe, and I saw so many things of
beauty that it made me want to cry.
    The Ellimist was back in her natural form.
    'We' is my brother, his betrothed, our cousin, and myself. I am Eskamya. My brother is Pirvasoar, his betrothed is
Melitrina, and our male cousin is Jemthin. We are the only group of Ellimists that does anything against the Yeerks. Up
until a few days ago, the Crayak did not know precisely who we were.
    That changed when we escorted the spirit Insithins-Cooraf-Enilion to Ashnarava.
   I heard all the Andalites gasp at that. When the Ellimist- Eskamya -spoke, she sounded quite amused.
    Yes, Andalites. Ashnarava DOES exist. And Insithins went there, along with Prince Elfangor-Sirinial-Shamtul.
    Suddenly, we were back in the shack in the woods. Eskamya resumed her human form.
    "Then, it all changed. Crayak knew who we were-he sensed us, in the realm of the dead. That is the one place where we are equals. He launched an attack on us. All the others were killed. I was the only one left."
    Tears glistened in her eyes. Though it was crazy for me to do so, I moved closer to her and put an arm around her. She didn't resist.
    I knew the other Animorphs got a kick out of finally seeing me with someone, and that someone turned out to be an
Ellimist. I didn't care.
    They don't know what it's like to be lonely, I reminded myself bitterly. Tobias and Rachel have had each other for all the war, and Jake and Cassie were a couple even before the war broke out. Even AX had a girlfriend on his home planet.
    Then, the other Andalites come, and Dev and Henra are a couple. Xelt is probably the only one who knows how I feel.
    I know it's impossible, but I think I fell in love at that moment. With the Ellimist.   No, NOT the Ellimist. Eskamya. My
Eskamya. I tilted her head up, so our eyes met. Then our lips met.

Chapter 5: Ax

    Marco and Eskamya kissed.
    I, however, was lost. Ellimists DIE, and they LOVE?
    Then, Marco and Eskamya finished kissing.
    However, Marco kept an arm around her. I noticed Tobias had an arm around Rachel, and Prince Jake had an arm around Cassie. Devilin and Henralina held hands.
    It just made me jealous for my significant other on the home planet. The more I thought about it, the more I espaired.
    I know Jemilis promised to try to not romance other young males, to me. But what if she thought I was dead?
    Then the Ellimsit-Eskamya- resumed speaking.
    "When the other Ellimists learned the entire plot, they were furious with me and my companions. They didn't blame Crayak. Publicly, they didn't. They couldn't. We had broken the rules, and therefore, were fair game.
    "I know you're all curious about our rules. Part of them is, I can't tell you all of them. But, 1 is that we cannot aid or
hurt mortals directly. Other times, we must exchange pawns."
    Eskamya stopped then, like she didn't know how to tell us this next part. She sighed.
    "3 of the pawns I gave up were Insith, Elfangor and Alloran."

Chapter 6: Tobias

    "WHAT??" I demanded of Eskamya. "You let my FATHER and 1 of my best FRIENDS be sacrificed like a pawn in some chess game? And you-"
    < Allowed Visser Three, the Abomination, to come into being? > Asked Ax.
    Eskamya sighed. "Yes, but I have very good reasons to."
    I noticed Marco inching away from her. Shock, confusion, hurt, betrayal and anger warred for control of his face.
    "Let's hear them, then" Rachel growled. I knew she was close to morphing grizzly.
    "I sacrificed Insith because all of you would have died if you didn't have a rear-guard in the construction site the
other day. Elfangor was sacrificed so you would save Earth by receiving the power to morph, to allow him to see his son, and to prove to the Andalites that they don't have to be so isolated. Alloran -Visser Three's host body- I sacrificed for a complex reason."
    Eskamya sighed again. She turned away from all of our accusing eyes.
    "The only reason the Yeerk controlling Alloran has the rank of Visser Three is because he has the only Andalite host
body. He, alone out of all the choices of leaders of the invasion, was the one that had to attack Earth for you to win. So I had to give Alloran to Crayak."
    She turned to me. "I know that you blame me for taking Elfangor away from you. But, if I hadn't, the Yeerks would win. This way, Earth has a fighting chance."

Chapter 7: Marco

    "But I get off-track" Eskamya continued. "The other Ellimists tried me. The sentence was for me to die."
    "NO!" I yelled. She smiled at me.
    "But not completely. I would be, reborn, in a cycle, for 500 years. Always as some different species. THAT is my
sentence."
    "Human first?" I asked eagerly. "Not now. I ALSO go human when you have died-that is part of the sentence." she said. "But first-"
    I hope no one noticed my tears. I finally found love, and then lost it!
    She walked over to Jake. "Don't worry about your brother, Prince. You will win the war for Earth-at a price, of course-and you will set him free. And, love Cassie with all your heart. But loosen up! Delegate some responsibility. Don't be emotionless all you life."
    Rachel next. "Rachel-never forget yourself in the heat of battle. And, don't let Tobias go. He's a rare kind of catch."
Rachel blushed.
    Tobias. "Never forget, Tobias, your inner strength. Don't let Rachel forget herself. And, love Rachel always. Never
doubt yourself-or your leadership. Remember your inner strength, in times of turmoil."
    Cassie. "Never forget you morals, Cassie. Be yourself. Speak up when something is wrong. And, get Jake to open up to you!" THAT forced a smile from Cassie.
    Ax. "Don't doubt your leadership. And, don't worry, you WILL see Jemilis again."
    Dev. "Unlearn your hate of all races non-Andalite. Accept Prince Jake. Love Henralina."
    Henra. "Love Dev. And, be yourself. Act as a calming influence on Devilin."
    Xelt. "Don't worry, Xeltos. You will have true love."
    Then, finally, me. She dragged me a little away from the others.
    "Marco, always be yourself. Be funny. Someday, you will find another love, and I hope she deserves you."
    "But I don't WANT another love" I said, tears running down my face. "I want YOU."
    "Marco, it just isn't meant to be. But, don't worry. I'll always be with you."
    She led me back to the others. "And, Marco, you WILL set your mother free." she said. I felt lightness in my chest.
    "But now the hard part" she said. "Jake, Marco, you know the problem with your A to B solution? You never CARE about the consequences. You don't FEEL. But isn't that what you're fighting for?"
   Without waiting for a response, she continued.
    "Anyway, I tell you this to let you know I will no longer be helping you. I won't offer to take you to different worlds,
give Tobias his morphing powers back, allow Elfangor to leave letters for Tobias, drag you into a battle for the Iskoort, or drag you through time to fight Visser Four. I REALLY came to say goodbye."
    She stepped closer to me. She kissed me. Long and hard on the lips.
    "Oh, before I forget-Dev and Henra are both free."
    "Goodbye-" she said, fading into the background of Cassie's barn. I could see right through her- she was translucent and fading fast.
    "NO!!" I yelled. "Eskamya!"
    But she had faded. And I collapsed to the ground, sobbing.

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