They are the reason I wake up screaming in the middle of the night, my bedsheets and nightclothes stuck to my body, soaked in my own sweat. They are the reason I can't trust my own parents. They are the reasons I'm barley making C's in school. They are the reason I hate my own brother. They are the reason I deal with more responsibility than any kid should ever have to deal with.
The Yeerks. The slugs. The parasites that crawls into your brain and take over you're mind and control you utterly and completely. They are invading our Earth and taking over our planet.
I know you must think I'm nuts. But please, don't turn of you're computer. You need to know what's going on. I'm not eloquent. I don't speak beautifully or poetically. I'm just going to record my thoughts so you can have some idea about what's going on.
Easter break was coming up, and I was looking forward to it. There's only so much you can squeeze into one day. Schoolwork has kind of taken a back burner to the whole aliens taking over the world thing.
I sat down at the TV in the family room to play Nintendo. I keep begging my parents to get me a TV in my room, or, at least a Play Station, but no go. As I was plugging it in, Tom came down the stairs. "Mom, dad, there's a big thing going on with The Sharing. Got a book."
"Uhh," My dad
said, not looking up from where my mom and dad were figuring out their
taxes. Tom flung open the door and ran out, looking very nervous
and distressed. I ran through my options: Call the others and
waste time, maybe lose Tom, or go by myself. Really no option there.
I sighed as I turned off my Nintendo and went up to my room. I stripped
off my outer clothing and concentrated on the DNA of the Peregrine Falcon
buried in my blood.
I flew after Tom, keeping a close eye on him. He walked briskly to the bus stop, and waited there. I cursed underneath my breath. Even though I was the fastest bird on earth, it was still a little piece of hell to keep up with a moving vehicle. He hopped onto the bus, and I could see where he was going, the beach.
After a half and hour of exhausting work, his bus finally arrived. I watched as he got off and met with Chapman and a bunch of other "full" members. With my ultra cool hearing and sight, I could understand every word spoken by the group.
"A virus has been circling throughout the Empire." Chapman said. "It affects only Hork Bajir, thank goodness, but is devastating. They have developed a weak vaccine, but it will take weeks of rehabilitation to get them back on their feet. One fourth of the Yeerks assigned to earth have lost their hosts over this."
"But the project!" Tom exclaimed.
"Exactly why I called this meeting. All of you're leave has been cancelled, effective immediately. We're doubling up the guards to the Yeerk pool and the MPDD."
The MPDD? What in the world is that?
"Speaking of the MPDD, can it really detect Andalites in morph?" A man I didn't recognize asked.
"Visser Three is confident in it's ability." He answered proudly.
My God! A morph detector. We're finished!
"You, you, and you,"
He said, pointing to three controllers I didn't recognize, "Will guard
the pool. You, you, you, you, and you" he said pointing to
my brother, my English teacher, Mrs. Kimball, and three other
controllers, "Will guard the MPDD. It's
located underneath the city at Third Street and Jefferson Drive.
It's
accessible by the sewage access by there."
That was all I needed to know. I took off at full speed to get the others.
"So, what's up?" I asked flippantly. On the inside, however, I was terrified. Another battle. Another time of horrible decisions and horrible violence. Killing. Death.
"How should I know?" Marco said. "All I know is, that one minute I'm rocking with Olivia and the next some bird is poking me on the head with his beak."
"I tried calling you, Marco, but you ignored me. I had to resort to more drastic measures."
"I told you ten times, I didn't hear you. My music was on to loud."
"You can always hear thought speak." I reminded him.
"Can we get on with it?" Rachel demanded. "There's an awesome sale at Forever 21 I want to get on top of."
Jake explained to us
about the Hork Bajir virus and the MPDD. As he was describing the
situation, a nagging feeling was in the back of my mind that we were missing
something, something terrible and tragic,
but I pushed it aside. I had to
concentrate on the matter at hand, and not let my feelings distract me.
I had
become quite accomplished in that regard.
When the violence and the death became too much for me to handle, I just
shut myself off, I pretended I wasn't even there. It was the only
way I could deal with the carnage.
"We should go in tonight." Rachel said. "They'll all be getting used to the new schedule."
"Makes sense to me," Marco said. "But we should go in as spies. Find out what's going on before we go in with guns blazing."
(There's no time) Tobias said (If it's fully operational, than they could test it Tomorrow. The end.)
Jake nodded his head. "I agree. We need to go in tonight. ASAP. Does anyone have a good cover story? My mind's gone."
I was numb. I wasn't ready. It was too much, too frequently. There was so much death. I had killed so many times. Me, who believed that all life was sacred. Yet every time I killed someone, I killed two someone's. An innocent and a warrior. It was getting to be too much, weighing to heavily on my heart. I thought back to what the Drode said about me. That I was a killer with a conscience. It was true. I had brutally murdered so many.
"Why don't we just tell our folks we're going to catch a movie? Than we'll do the everyone at everyone else's thing."
"Sounds good to me. Everyone?" We all nodded our heads, although I nodded mind a little reluctantly. Jake caught my eyes and looked at me intently. I could see another three second heart to heart looming on the horizon. "Can we use you're phone?" I nodded my head again. Everyone trooped into the house to use the phone.
I made a move to walk into the house, but Jake stopped me. "Cassie, what's wrong?" He said. His voice was warm, soft and inviting. I wanted nothing more than to unburden my problems on him. But I couldn't. He just had too much to deal with.
"Nothing," I said softly.
"Cassie, tell me, please. I want to be here fore you. I need to be."
"You don't need to worry about anything more Jake."
He smiled. "If you don't tell me, I'll just worry more."
I sighed. No fair, him trying to guilt me into this. " I'm just tired of it!" I exclaimed. "I can't take this anymore! How much more can I kill! How many more people can I murder until this is over!" I began to sob quietly.
Jake opened his arms and I fell into them. He pressed me close and stuck his head in my hair. "Shhh, Cassie. It's okay." He whispered into my hair. He held me close until my sobs quieted.
I stepped back, though
I didn't leave his arms. I looked into his face. "Thanks, Jake."
I said. "Thanks for letting me unburden myself. I didn't know
how much I needed to tell someone my feelings."
"Anytime, Cassie,"
he said. "I love you." He leaned down and slowly pressed his lips
to mine. I smiled at him after the three second kiss. "I love
you too, Jake."
"Hey!" Marco's voice echoed across the room. "Quit necking and come on! We need to leave!"
My god, Marco, that's rather poetic. Seeing Jake and Cassie kiss must have gotten to you're mind.
Actually, as much as
I hated to admit it, it had. I had an awakening a while back.
You see, I looked around me, and all the people closest to me were romantically
involved, well, with the obvious exception of Ax. My dad was dating
again, Jake and Cassie had their "thing". Tobias and Rachel had a
different kind of "thing" but a "thing" none the less. I had
realized that I wanted a girlfriend, not just someone I could make-out
with. I admitted
to myself that I was lonely.
Okay, that's enough of that. I'm not a touchy-feeling, share my emotions, peace and love kind of guy. This was defiantly not what I wanted to go through before I entered a potentially dangerous battle.
I find that I've become more detached, if that were possible. I am no longer apart of what's going on around me. I live in my mind. I go through school on auto-pilot. I can't stay connected to it all. It's just too much. My mind swarms with all the stuff I deal with, and if I devoted time to it all, I would go insane.
Sometimes I lie awake at night, for hours, just thinking. I've always been a planner. My life has always been completely organized. I always know exactly what I'm going to do and say, and when I'm going to do it. When I was younger, I would plan out exactly what I would say to my father, and what his possible responses would be. I would have a response to everything he could possible say.
When my mom died, that
ended. All of the mundane structure that I had lived my life with
was gone. I had no structure. And it was cool. Too much
structure can make you cynical. So I adapted, and I got to like it.
Now,
with my life as screwed up as it is, I
welcome as much structure as I can possibly get.
(My God) Cassie said. (That's it. That's what I missed)
(What! What!) Jake cried. (What's going on!)
(The Hork Bajir are going to be gone!) she exclaimed, (That means that to get through to the MPDD, we'll have to cut through the humans!)
A sick feeling crept into my stomach. Killing human-controllers. That was something we had always tried to avoid. Oh every once in a while it was necessary, but all in all, few humans had died in this war.
I pushed the feeling away. So what if a bunch of humans died? They were the enemy. If we backed down, it was end game. If they caught us, the human race would be done for.
(You know,) Tobias said thoughtfully, (We don't kill humans because we say that they are innocent, that they're victims of the Yeerks. We conveniently forget that the Hork Bajir are innocent too, and that their family grieves as much as the human families will grieve for their dead.)
(This isn't the time for a big moral debate) Jake said harshly. (We have to decide what to do.)
That shocked me. (Do?) I said incredulously, (Look, I'm as upset as anybody over this, but if we don't attack, the human race is done for. And I'm sorry, but a handful of humans next to the billions on this earth is not an even trade. There's no choice here.)
(Yeah) Jake sighed a thought-speak sigh. (Marco's right. We have to go ahead.)
Believe me, I was not happy about being right. But that's my role. I'm the bad guy. I state the obvious, I give the cold, hard truths that other's try to ignore. I would like to ignore them. I really would.
(Do you're best not to kill them) Cassie said. (Go for head blows to nock them unconscious. Even if we damage them badly, the Yeerks medical and regenerative advancements will keep them alive and restore them.)
(You heard Cassie,) Jake said, (Do you're best. Think before you act.)
(Yes, Grandpa) I said mockingly. (Do you're best. Think before you act. Don't hit girls. Eat all you're peas. You'd make a perfect dad. I'm seeing you on a 50's sitcom. Leave it to Jake. The Jake family. The Jake bunch.)
(Oh shut up,) he said tolerantly.
That's me, out for the laugh. Even in the face of a possibly tragic event, I manage to loosen things up and get people laughing. It's a gift I suppose.
(Head's up, everybody,) Jake said, interrupting my thoughts, (We're there)
You don't know how much that saddens me. Why don't I care? Why am I so excited at the start of a battle? Why do I thrive on conflict? Why do I disregard the life that I'm getting off on.
You know, Cassie once said that she envied me, and my ability to disregard morality and be brave. At the time, that made me happy, but now, that just makes me sad. Oh, Cassie, you don't know how much I envy you, how I want the sensitivity you have. I'm not brave. I just don't care.
No time for these thoughts. We're getting ready for a battle. I have to push away all self-hatred, all feelings except the instinct that serves me. The gut feelings that guide my action in the throes of a battle.
(Okay,) Jake said, (We're going to do a quick demorph, except for Tobias, and open the sewage plant. We'll remorph as birds of prey and get a feel for what's going on in there. Birds of prey are quick, agile, and besides, most people have a tendency not to look up.)
We all demorphed in the safe cover of darkness. Jake opened the sewage opening, letting out an absolutely horrific aroma.
"Oh, does that smell
wonderful," Marco whispered. "I bet it'll be the newest thing
from Martha Stewart. 'Try this new scent for you're home, using materials
that every being in the world has in their home!'" he said in a
high-pitched voice, doing a very bad Martha
Stewart impression. I laughed, in spite of myself.
We all morphed into our various birds and flew into the sewer. Being the largest bird, it took me some effort to squeeze into the tiny manhole. (Man, oh man,) I muttered, (I don't want to have get through there in a chase.) In a larger, more bravado tone, I said my usual battle cry. (Let's do it!)
(Stop saying that!) Marco said, (Every time you do, I end up screaming and running for my life. It's a bad omen or something)
(You big weenie) I said, but not meanly. I really didn't feel any animosity towered Marco, I just had to keep up the verbal banter for the sake of the other's. Sometimes I felt like I was playing a part. Everything I did, teasing Marco, or acting stupidly brave, was so the other's wouldn't think there was anything to worry about. So that they would feel at ease. Marco is the same way, I think. We're both the performers in our little army.
We flew a little ways through the tunnels of sewage. (Ugh, this reeks,) I said, after a while.
(The smell is defiantly not pleasant,) Ax said, (Nor is it at all aesthetically pleasing.)
(Ah, the glamorous life of a super hero,) Cassie joked.
(Any time I get disturbed
with my surroundings, I just think back to the time when I was a certain
fly in a certain
bathroom) Tobias said.
I was a little bit confused after that remark, and made a mental note to ask Tobias of it later.
Then, as I rounded the corner, I saw what I perceived to be the MPDD. It was a large computer counsel, and I could see a map our city on it in infrared.
(I wish we were close enough to see what was on the computer screen,) Marco said.
(I'll go,) I volunteered, and before anyone could say anything, I swooped down to go look.
(Rachel! Look out! ) Tobias cried,
In my haste to go down,
I did not see the controller standing guard. Before I knew what was happening,
she pulled out her dracon beam and shot. I banked heard to the left,
but I couldn't avoid getting my right wing shot.
(Auuggghhhh!) I cried in pain as
a perfectly round hole appeared in my wing.
I couldn't fly! I was falling down towards the sewage!
At first I didn't know what was hit. But as I saw her hit the water, and struggle to keep afloat, I realized that the shot must be somewhat superficial, and that she wasn't dead.
Rachel is a beautiful person. Physically. Emotionally, she is much darker than her lightly tanned, blond, ditzy appearance suggests. But I think that her bravery, her strength, and her intelligence are the most beautiful things in the entire world.
I disregarded all thought and fear as I swept down and into the sewage. I realized my error, when, instead of surfacing and breaking free, I sunk. Like a rock.
Oh that's right. Red Tails aren't built for the water.
(You blockhead!) Rachel yelled, (If it wasn't for this stupid, busted wing, I could be out of here.)
(Excuse me,) I said snootily, (I was trying to save you're butt! )
(Shut up!) Jake roared. That got us quiet. Jake never yells. ( Okay, here's what we're going to do. You guys are both going to morph a dolphin and follow the current until you find a safe place to get out. We'll meet up with you at the barn first thing in the morning. Understand?)
(No way, Jake. I'm not leaving the battle.)
(Yes, you are. You two both were idiotic enough to do this. Think about the fact that you just effectively took two people out of battle. Think about how you have royally screwed this all up. I do not have time to worry about you two. It's your own fault! I told you to be careful and to think before you acted! )
(Wow, you have this total dad thing going on.) Marco joked.
(Marco, not the time,) Cassie said gently.
(But-)
(No buts, Rachel. I'm sorry, but you're going to have to sit this one out.)
(It's not that bad, Rachel.) Marco said. (Think about it. Just you, bird-boy, the hay bales...)
(Marco, SHUT UP!) Rachel, Jake, and I shouted.
(I'm going to kick you're sorry butt tomorrow," Rachel said as we swam off. (Yours too, Jake.)
(Well,) Marco said, (The perfect start to the perfect mission.)
We all regrouped behind a corner. (They know we're here,) Prince Jake said, (Subtlety is gone. We should go in battle morphs, Ax as he is, and get to the MPDD. We'll all cover for him while Ax figures out a way to blow the thing to bits.)
(Solid plan,) Marco said, (Suicidal and stupid, but a solid plan nonetheless.)
We all demorphed and everyone else remorphed. (On count of three,) Prince Jake said. (One... two... three!) We all rushed it. Prince Jake and the others provided a sufficient distraction while I tapped into the computer.
The computer was a simple design, as most Yeerk computer's were. Although their technology was based on stolen Andalite technology, they could never duplicate the fine art we had made computer design into. One nice thing about peace was that you could devote the time mostly spent on fighting to technological and intellectual advancements. Someday, I hoped that the Andalites could once again enjoy the freedom of intellectual pursuits. War is like slavery, in that it consumes all of your own time and resources. Everything revolves around it, and you are forced by your honor to participate.
I tapped the computer counsel and called up a design schematic. I quickly scanned it and found what I was looking for. (Prince Jake,) I called, (I figured out how to shut it down. I will wipe its memory, and all references in the Yeerk database.)
(Go for it,) he said
tightly. I surveyed the battle. Many humans lay strewn on the
floor. Prince Jake had a large hole in the side of the tiger.
Cassie was bleeding from a gash in her leg. Marco appeared to be
unhurt, and was punching people left and right, knocking then unconscious.
Five minutes later
I had finished the job. (We can leave whenever you are ready, Prince Jake.)
(Great, Ax-man, you're the bomb. Okay, let's fall back and retreat before they bring in the Visser and all the rest of their heavy artillery!)
Prince Jake turned around to find their exit blocked by at least ten human controllers. (My God)
(We can't do this!) Cassie said. She sounded weak.
(We have to.)
Marco said. (If we stay, let ourselves be captured, or injured, or
even just leave, it's over. The
Yeerks can add, and if we don't
go through the humans, it'll be obvious we're humans)
(But we can't just kill them all!) Cassie said urgently.
It amazes me how self-delusional humans are. I do not know how they can justify killing Hork Bajir, Taxons, and Yeerks, and not feel guilty, while they avoid killing humans like the Yamphut fever. I suppose it is because they are of the same species, but how they can just forget and disregard the other killing is quite beyond me.
I am pretty sure that
Cassie does not disregard the people whose life she takes to further help
her planet. She is a moral person, akin to an Andalite in her sensibility.
Cassie would never take a life except in absolute self-defense, but when
it comes to her duty, she will, at a great cost to herself, throw off her
morals and fulfill her responsibility. She is truly brave and strong,
for only one of great strength and bravery could endure under the
pressure.
Prince Jake considered
his options and made his discussion. I admire him in his ability
to make a choice. He has to deal with the emotions of everyone on
his team, but he doesn't consider that in his verdict. Even though
Cassie is his mate, ultimately, he doesn't make a decision just because
she want's it. He makes a
decision based on what's right.
(We go through them. Sorry Cassie, but Marco's right.) Prince Jake said. (Ax, go first.)
Prince Jake was correct in his assumption that I would not be as adverse as they to kill humans. However, as I rushed through them, I hit five, making sure, however, to hit them with the flat of my blade.
The others came up behind me. As we ran down to the exit, I contemplated what had just taken place. It was a sad and tragic moment.
Someday, after the Andalites come and the Yeerks are driven off this planet, they will no doubt ask me to record my happenings on earth.
If they do, I will leave this out.
But no. We've done enough damage this time. We've killed to many. There's no way I could ever go back to another sewer and kill twenty more humans.
Besides, Cassie would kill me.
Something occurred to me a little while after the incident. I went to Ax to ask him about it.
"Hey, Ax-man. Can't they build another one?"
Ax contemplated this. (I do not believe so. I erased all references to in, and all technical data when I wiped the MPDD's memory.)
"But what about the inventor?"
(I believe, Prince Jake, that Visser three will be very upset about this rather large loss. Knowing the anger of the Visser is very powerful, he will no doubt make an example of the inventor. The Visser does not tolerate mistakes. I do not believe we will have to worry about the MPDD for a long time.)
I thanked Ax and flew home. So it was a success on all battlefields. Was it worth it? I ask myself this question after every battle. And the answer is always the same. Yes. It might be painful and difficult now, but how much more difficult would it be to live in a world inhabited by Yeerks?
And so I keep fighting. And looking towards the future when it will be all over and I can just be a normal kid with normal dreams, and maybe even a normal girlfriend. And yeah, I'll be happy.