It's Over
By: Forlay
Chapter One-Tobias
I was soaring on a sweet
thermal above the forest when I saw her. Rachel. Walking towards my territory.
Probably coming to celebrate the end of the war with the Yeerks.
Okay, perhaps I'm celebrating
a bit prematurely, but I have good reason to. We're pretty sure there aren't
any Yeerk ships left in orbit and nearly all the human controllers have
been freed, including Tom. Jake has wanted to tell him about our role in
his freedom, but we've held him back. We don't want any one to know about
us until we're sure the Yeerks are gone for good.
< Hey, Rachel! >
I called down to her and started to dive down.
She stopped walking
and looked up. When she saw me she smiled that super model smile that always
made me feel week, and waved.
< What's brought
you here? > I asked as I perched on a tree branch slightly above her head.
She shrugged. "Just
felt like coming out here. It's a beautiful day and the Yeerks are practically
gone, which makes it one of the best days I've had in a long time. I figured
we could go out and do something. Want to go out? McDonald's?"
< Sure, > I fluttered
to the ground and began to demorph.
Chapter Two-Rachel
Oh, God, Tobias, don't
do it! I pleaded silently in my head.
Shut up, human,
the Yeerk in my head sneered.
No, damn it!
I shouted. I will not shut up as long as you're threatening to
kill the guy I love!
Get over it, girl,
and get used to it, for he is only the first of your little group to go.
Of course, he is the unluckiest one, but neither a hawk nor a non-morph
capable human will be worth anything to me.
I watched through
eyes that were no longer mine to control as Tobias...my sweet, caring,
trusting Tobias...finished morphing human, possibly for the last time.
Once he was finished,
"I" reached into the gym bag I'd been carrying and pulled out more appropriate
clothes than his morphing suit for him, while discretely double checking
on the dracon beam that'd been hidden in the bottom.
"Let's go," the Yeerk
had me say cheerfully once he was changed, and, arm in arm, we walked out
of the forest towards town.
Chapter Three-Tobias
Lunch at McDonald's was
a new experience, but a welcome one. I hadn't eaten a hamburger for a long
time, possibly before I'd been trapped. And even as a human I rarely got
to eat out, thanks to my dead beat uncle and too-busy-to-care-about-her-nephew
aunt.
We spent an hour and
a half out before heading back to the forest where I could demorph, but
Rachel seemed to be stalling by window shopping.
"Oh, I've got
to get this dress! And there were some shoes a few stores back that match
it perfectly!"
"Uh, Rachel? They're
great and all, but can we keep moving?"
She sighed a little,
"Yeah, let's keep going."
With just minutes left,
we reached the woods. As I was about to being demorphing, Rachel grabbed
me suddenly and began kissing me roughly. Surprised and short on morph
time, I tried to push away when I felt the end of a gun shoved into my
stomach.
"Good bye, Tobias,"
she whispered cruelly through the kiss and pulled the trigger.
Chapter Four-Rachel
I watched in horror as
Tobias' eyes widened in shock and pain. He stumbled backwards and collapsed
as his knees buckled under him.
He looked down at the
smoking hole in his stomach and then up to my face. "Rachel...?" he struggled
to say, then closed his eyes.
Noooooo! I screamed
in my head. I didn't want it to be true, it couldn't be true! I
wanted to kneel down and hold him in my arms, but the Yeerk just laughed
cruelly.
"One down, four to
go."
Let's see, who to
go after next? The Yeerk mused silently as he made me walk out of the
forest. The Andalite filth? No, you don't like him much, it wouldn't
hurt you to see him dead. Same with Marco--
Like hell it wouldn't
hurt! I interrupted. They are my friends and fellow Animorphs. Hurt
any more of them and I'll--
You'll what? Kill
me? Find a way to save the rest of your friends? He laughed. If
you couldn't warn the one you 'loved', how do you expect to save the rest?
I'll find a way,
Yeerk, just you wait.
Chapter Five-Cassie
I was in the barn trying
to coax a big wolf into taking a pill when Rachel burst in, scaring every
animal in the barn.
I jumped back from
the wolf before it could bite my arm. "Geez, Rachel! What's wrong?"
She had a panicked
look on her face, one that didn't belong. "Cassie! In the woods...Tobias!"
She was too panicked to make an entire sentence, but I got the point. Tobias
was in the woods, hurt.
If I hadn't been so
surprised, I would have thought of how Rachel would have brought to the
barn, or he would have morphed, but I had other things on my mind.
Chapter Six-Rachel
Come on, Cassie!
I pleaded, See through it! Can't you see what's wrong?
The Yeerk just laughed
at my pleading. He knew that his plan would work. After all, Cassie was
my best friend. She'd trust me with anything.
We were running through
the woods, the Yeerk was leading Cassie to the area he had left Tobias'
body.
"The there," the Yeerk
made me way while pointing through the trees. Cassie sprinted ahead of
me.
"Oh, my God."
Chapter Seven-Cassie
Rachel had pointed me to
a small clearing near the edge of the forest. Laying carelessly on the
ground was a body. Tobias, in his human morph, dead. A dracon beam burn
in his stomach.
Rachel couldn't have
known about this, she wouldn't have come for me. She would have killed
whoever had done this, or gotten Ax.
"What happened--"
"Shut up, human."
I spun around to see
Rachel with a dracon beam aimed at my chest.
"Rachel?"
She sneered. "I'm not
'Rachel', not anymore. She's trapped up here, screaming at me," she tapped
the side of her head with an index finger. "I'm Sub-Visser 33 now."
"Did you do this?"
"What? Kill the bird-boy?
Of course I did. Neither a bird or a non-morph capable human are of any
use to the Yeerk empire."
"Then why kill me?
I can morph."
"It's all up to Rachel.
Which would hurt her more, you dead, or alive in some corenr of your mind
with some hope, however futile, that you'd be free someday?"
"Me being a controller
would hurt her more," I said, both truthfully and stalling for time. To
do what, I don't know, perhaps just to live.
Rachel, no, the Yeerk,
laughed cruelly. "Sorry, Cassie, but that's wrong. But we do have a consolation
prize for you."
The last thing I saw
was a flash of red light coming towards me, before I saw only black.
Chapter Eight-Rachel
The Yeerk laughed as the
dracon beam hit Cassie square in the chest.
"What a pity, she died
instantly," I heard my voice say.
Good bye, Cassie
I said silently. Cassie had been right, seeing her as a controller would
have been worse. She may have been dead, but she was free.
"Who's next? Jake?
No, the leader should be last. The Andalite scum should be next, before
he can discover these two and make trouble for me.
Do you really think
you'll be able to sneak up on Ax? Read my memories, you know he's impossible
to sneak up on.
Oh, I have my ways,
trust me, I have my ways.
Chapter Nine-Ax
I was in my scoop, enjoying
a rather long installment of 'These Messages', when I heard a stick crack
behind me.
I tensed up and swiveled
my stalk eyes in all directions, looking for danger. When I saw no one,
I figured it had been an animal and went back to 'These Messages'.
< Hooked On Phonics
worked for me, > I chanted along with the commercial. My friends say this
is one of the more annoying installments of 'These Messages', or commercials
as they call them, but I find it enjoyable.
The Hooked On Phonics
show reminded me of Tobias. He often made fun of it, along with Marco,
and it was nearly time for 'The Young and the Restless'. Tobias always
comes to watch it with me, however, he hadn't arrived yet.
As I was distracted
by my thoughts, someone came up behind me. Before I could react, I found
my tail had been twisted so I couldn't move it, and a dracon beam was pressed
against the side of my head.
"Don't move, Andalite
filth!" I heard a familiar voice hiss in my ear.
Despite the attacker's
order, I turned a stalk eye at her.
< Rachel?! >
"Sub-Visser 33," she
correct. "Rachel is no more, and neither are you."
I tried to twist my tail around to at least knock Rachel--the
Sub-Visser--our, but she had it twisted at an angle where movement was
impossible.
"Just so you know,
you're not going to be the first to go. Your nephew and Cassie are already
gone."
< Why kill us? >
She laughed cruelly.
"Y'know, Cassie asked that same question."
Chapter Ten-Rachel
"Y'know, Cassie asked that
same question," the Yeerk said, then pulled the trigger.
He laughed using my
voice as Ax's body feel to the ground. He used my eyes to glance at the
TV, a soap was on, Young and the Restless, I think. Two of the characters
were...well, let's say I now knew where Ax's sudden interest in the uses
of beds came from.
"The trash you humans
put on television," he sighed. He picked up Ax's remote and switched off
the TV.
Chapter Eleven-Rachel
Getting Marco would be
harder than the others. I had no reason to see him. I avoid him at all
costs, despite the hidden admiration I have for him, and he probably for
me. But the Sub-Visser was determined to kill us all. and the reason for
killing wasn't simply to make my life miserable, although that was a handy
by-product. Visser Three wanted to kill his "Andalite Bandits" with a passion.
When I was caught and he learned all our secrets, he decided he might as
well kill all of us, possibly even me, he hasn't decided yet.
We'll call him,
the Yeerk mused, still trying to figure out how to capture Marco. Tobias
has called a meeting in his meadow. Cassie called you and is now calling
Jake, I'll say. When he gets to the meadow, I'll be waiting.
Chapter Twelve-Marco
RING RING RI--
"Hello?"
"Hey, Marco, it's Jake."
"What's up?"
"You talk to Cassie
today? We were supposed to meet at my house an hour ago. I called her,
but there wasn't any answer at her house."
"She's probably out
in the barn trying to get a grizzly bear to take it's medicine," I joked,
trying to lighten Jake's mood.
"The phone in the barn
has the same number as the house."
"Maybe she's out with
Rachel?"
"Her and Tobias had
a date this afternoon," he was beginning to sound panicked now.
"Jake, calm down. I'm
sure she's okay. Something probably came up suddenly, an abandoned skunk
litter, and she didn't have a chance to call."
"Yeah. Yeah, you're
right. I'm just over reacting," he said, trying to reassure himself. "I'll
talk to you later."
"Later," I said and
hung up the phone. I was about to go back to playing a new computer game,
but the phone rang again.
"Hello?"
"Marco? It's Rachel."
"Hey, Rach, what's
up?"
"Oh, nothing much.
Cassie just called me, wanted to know if we all wanted to meet out in the
woods."
"Sure. Do you know
where she's been though? Her and Jake had a date an hour ago and she never
showed. Jake's freaking out big time."
She paused for a minute.
"Uh, she was...out. A...an unexpected...thing. She didn't go into it, but
she's calling him as we speak to invite him with us. Tobias and Phillip
are gonna meet us there."
"All right, I'll be
there in a few," I hung up the phone and sighed. Tobias probably had some
big news, not something I wanted right now. This was was supposed to be
over.
Reluctantly, I turned
off my computer and quickly scribbled a note to my dad, who was on a date,
that I was going over to Jake's. I opened my window and began to morph
osprey. But at the back of my mind was a nagging feeling that something
was wrong with this situation.
Chapter Thirteen-Rachel
The Yeerk had me crouched
in the bushes, out of sight as Marco demorphed.
"Jake? Cassie? Rachel?
Tobias? Ax?" He called out when he noticed no one was there.
The Yeerk made me stand
up. "How about Sub-Visser 33?"
Marco spun around to
face me. Confusion, recognition and fear flashed across his face in just
a few seconds as he saw me, my body anyway, standing there with a dracon
beam pointed in his direction.
Isn't death by dracon
beam getting a little monotonous? I asked, just to stall the Yeerk.
Shut up, human,
I don't have time to deal with you right now.
Then I suggest you
make time!
I noticed Marco
staring at me. I must have looked distracted as the Yeerk argued with me.
"Rachel? You're still
in there, I know that, fight it!" he encouraged.
"Shut up!" the Yeerk
made me shriek. The order was probably for both Marco and myself, but neither
of us listened.
You can't wipe us
all out.
"Rachel, you can beat
this Yeerk piece of crap!"
Marco's strong,
he's already seen through your scan, you can't handle both of us!
"Fight, Rachel,
fight and win!"
During this, Marco
had been gradually moving closer, probably trying to grab the dracon beam.
Of course, as soon as I realized this, so did the Sub-Visser.
"No!" he screamed and
pulled the trigger. Fortunately, Marco had anticipated the shot and dodged,
but was still hit in the arm.
The Sub-Visser was
surprised the shot had missed. I seized the opportunity to talk to Marco.
"Marco! Warn Jake!
He's next. Others are already gone, in the woods--"
"I don't think so,
humans," the Sub-Visser said, re-gaining control. He re-aimed the dracon
beam, point blank at Marco, who was trying to pick himself up to run.
I knew he wouldn't
be able to get away in time. The Sub-Visser was too good a shot, and Marco
was injured. It was just dumb luck the last shot had only gotten his arm.
I'm sorry, Marco,
I said, wishing I could close my eyes so I couldn't have to watch the red
beam shoot from the gun in my hand and hit the retreating Marco in the
back. When I saw him fall, I thought I was going to hurl, if I'd been in
control of myself. Of course, if I'd been in control of myself, we wouldn't
be in this situation. I felt as if each of my friend's deaths were my fault.
I might as well have pulled the trigger myself each time.
Guilt. What a pointless
emotion, the Yeerk sneered.
Better than none
at all, I shot back.
Oooh, did I strike
a nerve?
Shut up, was
the best come back I could think of.
Poor Rachel,
the Yeerk mocked. She's seen all her friends killed, and knows that
her cousin is next.
Chapter Fourteen-Rachel
The plan to catch Jake
was very much like the one to get Marco. Call him, tell him to come to
the woods, and kill him. This time, something would be wrong with Cassie.
Just to hurt him even more, the Yeerk was going to lead him to Cassie's
body. The Yeerk was assembling a sort of mass grave in the area. Tobias',
Cassie's and Jake's bodies in one place, Ax's just a hundred yards away
and Marco a few hundred yards beyond that. It was disgusting.
Sub-Visser 33 walked
me to the nearest pay phone, dropped in some change, and dialed Jake's
number.
"Hello? Cassie?" Jake
answered.
"No, it's Rachel,"
the Yeerk replied, making me sound panicked. "But Cassie, she's out in
the woods, hurt. She wanted me to call you."
"Where is she?!"
"I'll meet you in the
meadow and lead you to her."
"I'll be there in a
few minutes." He abruptly hung up.
The Yeerk made me smirk,
"I'm sure you will."
Chapter Fifteen-Jake
"I'll be there in a few
minutes," I told Rachel then slammed down the phone. No one was home and
I was supposed to be out with Cassie, so no one would wonder why I wasn't
home.
I ran up to my bed
room, opened my window and began to morph peregrine falcon as fast as I
could. Less than a minute later, I was using all the speed I could to get
to the woods. I tried to keep from panicking, but my mind kept dredging
up scenarios of what could have happened. She'd morphed osprey and some
idiot had shot her. She'd stepped in a hunter's trap and her foot was mangled.
I was coming up with the stupidest ideas, part of me knew I was only making
things worse, but another part couldn't help but think of the worse case
scenario.
When I reached Tobias'
meadow, I saw Rachel standing around anxiously, glancing up at the sky
occasionally, probably looking for me.
"Okay, let's go," I
said as soon as I had demorphed. rachel nodded and we began sprinting into
the woods.
"Just through there,"
Rachel said, pointing to a clearing just behind some trees. She was doubled
over from exhaustion, but I was still high on adrenaline. I pushed my way
through the trees, ignoring the scratches I got on my arms and face.
"Cassie! Oh, God!"
Lying carelessly on
the ground was her body. The cause of death was obvious, a dracon beam
to her chest. Next to her was Tobias, in his human morph, also dead with
a dracon beam burn in his stomach.
"Rachel...what happened
to them?" I asked, just staring at Cassie. Cassie...the only girl I'd ever
loved...dead. Brutally murdered. I didn't even try to wipe away the tears
that were flowing down my cheeks.
"I killed them."
That was enough to
get me to look up. "What?"
Rachel stepped through
the trees. Slowly, deliberately. "I said, I did."
Chapter Sixteen-Rachel
"What do you mean, you
did?" Jake asked. "You could never kill your boy friend and best friend."
The Yeerk made me laugh
derisively. "Boy friend, Jake? He was a bird. And as far
as the best friend thing...she seriously got on my nerves with all her
moralizing crap."
Jake narrowed his eyes.
"You're not Rachel."
The Yeerk laughed again.
"You're a real genius, Jake. It took you long enough to figure that out."
"Who else have you
murdered?"
"Your best friend and
the Andalite filth."
That got him. Jake
couldn't take being the only living Animorph left, I didn't count myself
as truly alive anymore. He jumped up and ran at me, surprising the Yeerk
into dropping the dracon beam. Within seconds, Jake had me pinned to the
ground and was beating the crap out of me.
Go Jake! I cheered
silently.
"Shut up, human," the
Sub-Visser growled between punches.
"You've killed the
only people I ever cared about! I'm not going to shut up!" Jake
shouted, thinking the Yeerk had been talking to him.
"I wasn't talking to
you," the Yeerk sneered while trying to push Jake away. "I was talking
to this dapsen cousin of yours."
"Rachel! C'mon, Rachel,
you gotta fight this!"
Gee, ya' think?
I asked silently, but I tried fighting the Yeerk again.
"Jake!" I shouted.
"Rope--bag--bushes!" I wasn't sure he'd been able to understand what I
was trying to say, but he nodded and began looking under the bushes for
my gym bag. Although the Sub-Visser quickly regained control, I kept fighting
so he wouldn't be escaping while Jake looked for the rope.
As the Yeerk and I
were still battling for control, Jake returned. He pushed me down on the
ground and tied my arms behind my back and to a tree trunk. Then he tied
my legs together.
"You won't be able
to hold me, Jake," the Sub-Visser said. "You're one person, you can't stay
here for three days. Your family will be looking for you. Rachel's will
be looking for her. Same with Cassie and Marco. And once the bodies of
your friends are found, these woods will be crawling with people trying
to find their murderer."
"I'm going to take
you to the shack I was in when I was a controller. It's a ways away from
here, and I'll find a way to explain this all to my family."
The Sub-Visser seethed
in silent rage. He knew he was backed into a corner.
Looks like the big,
bad Sub-Visser isn't so powerful anymore, I taunted.
I'll win yet, girl.
I don't think you
will. Jake may be only one person, but he's one very determined person.
It was the middle
of the afternoon, but I was exhausted. I wanted to sleep, but was afraid
of the nightmares I was sure to have. In the end, exhaustion won out and
I drifted off into a fitful sleep.
Chapter Seventeen-Jake
I sat in silence with Rachel
for a little over an hour before she fell asleep.
As she was sleeping,
I walked back over to where Cassie's and Tobias' bodies were left. It disgusted
me that they had been shot and just left here, but I needed to be with
them, it was hard to believe all my friends were gone.
"Cassie, I...I know
I haven't always been real good at telling you how I feel but...I love
you, you know that, right? I'll always love you."
I turned to Tobias.
"Tobias, I don't know what to say. I'm sorry? I'll miss you? How about,
this is my fault? I should have...I don't know, found out about Rachel.
I don't even know when or how she was captured. Or even why the Yeerk in
her head killed everyone instead of infesting us. But I do know this: I'm
going to kill that Yeerk for you. And Marco, and Ax and...and Cassie."
Rachel stirred a little
in her sleep. I pulled her bag out of the buses and looked inside it. Inside
there was a bag of trail mix, an apple and a can of Coke.
"At least we won't
starve," I said as I kept looking. The only other thing inside was a watch,
it was 5:30. Cassie had been gone from her house for at least two and a
half hours, Marco for an hour and a half and me for only an hour. Rachel
had probably been cleared for the entire day. Or worse, her mother and
sisters were controllers and were expecting her to be gone for extended
periods of time. I was going to let Rachel sleep for another half hour
before moving here. I wanted to be as far away from here as possible when,
or if, searchers came out looking for us.
Chapter Eighteen-Rachel
It was that afternoon again. I was walking back to the woods with Tobias.
Just before he started to demorph, the Sub-Visser once again tried to distract
him by making me kiss him, but this time I was ready.
"NO!" I yelled as the
Sub-Visser drew Tobias closer. "You won't get him this time!" I managed
to gain control of one arm and pushed Tobias away. "Run, Tobias! Warn the
others!"
As Tobias started to
run and demorph at the same time, Sub-Visser 33 regained control, picked
up the dracon beam, which I'd caused him to drop, and fired at Tobias.
No! I screamed.
It took me a moment to realize I'd woken up and I was talking in my head
again.
See? Even your unconsciousness
realizes that, even if you had been able to rebel successfully, I would
have triumphed in the end, and your bird friend would still be dead.
But he'd have died
knowing the truth!
"Come on, Yeerk,
wake up, we're moving," I heard Jake say, shaking me.
The Yeerk opened my
eyes and glared at Jake as he untied the ropes around my wrists and pulled
me up. he re-tied my arms behind my back and untied my legs. The Sub-Visser
tried to kick him while he was untying me, but Jake caught my foot and
held it firmly while he finished.
"Here's how this is
going to work," he instructed. "I'm going to tie you to the tree again
for a minute while I morph wolf. Once I'm morphed, I'll bite through the
rope. You'll walk directly in front of me, following my directions to the
shack. If you so much as think about trying to run away, I'll be on you
in seconds and take you down."
"You'd never kill your
precious cousin," the Yeerk sneered as Jake tied me back up to the tree.
"Look at Rachel's memories,
she knows I would."
He's right,
I said. Anything, even death, is better than having you in my head.
Jake morphed
wolf as quickly as he could. He bit through the rope tying me to the tree,
but careful to leave rope around my wrists. He picked up my bag in his
teeth and said, < Let's go. >
Chapter Nineteen-Rachel
The next two days were
filled with arguments between myself and the Yeerk and Jake and the Yeerk.
To punish me, the Yeerk refused to eat and only had a few sips of Coke,
just enough to keep me alive.
Late morning on the
third day of being a controller and the second day of being in the shack,
I found the meaning of 'living hell', the fugue.
As the Yeerk died,
I saw flashes of images. Too many passing too quickly for me to really
make sense of. I figured they were the memories of the Yeerk's previous
hosts. The images, though I don't understand them, will stay with me the
rest of my life.
"Ride it through, Rachel,"
Jake encouraged softly. "It's rough, but you'll get through."
As I heard/felt the
screams of the dying Yeerk, I wasn't sure I could. But when I felt the
Yeerk dribble out of my ear and I opened my eyes on my own, I knew I had.
"Welcome back," Jake
said as he untied me.
Once I was untied I
surprised both myself and Jake. I wrapped my arms around his shoulders
and began to cry.
Chapter Twenty-Jake
Rachel's reaction was a
little unexpected, but I could relate. I'd felt the same way when I'd been
a controller, but there was a major difference between our experiences:
I'd been discovered right away, while Rachel had witnessed the murders
of four of her friends.
"Hey," I said after
Rachel's sobs had begun to subside. "Wanna go back home? I'll walk you."
She nodded. I helped her up and we began walking home.
"Why didn't I stop
him?" she asked as we walked out of the woods. "It's my fault they're dead.
It's my fault Tobias is gone. Tobias!" she was sobbing hysterically again.
I grabbed her by the
shoulders. "Rachel, RACHEL! It's not your fault. It's not anybody's
fault but the Yeerks. No--"
"Jake?"
"Rachel!"
I turned around and
saw my mom and dad along with both of Rachel's parents running towards
us.
"Jake! Where have you
been?! We've--" Mom started crying then and couldn't finish what she was
saying.
"I'm fine, Mom. I've...I
was out in the woods with Cassie. We got separated. I found Rachel out
there, too."
My dad put a hand on
my shoulder. "Jake, Cassie...They found her body back in the woods. Next
to another boy. No one knows him. Marco was found in the meadow near Cassie's."
I pretended I hadn't
known about them, but pretending to cry over them wasn't necessary. The
tears were real. A few feet away, Rachel's parents were telling her about
Cassie, she burst into a new wave of tears.
"Can we go home?" I
asked.
"Of course, Jake,"
my Mom said. We walked to our car and drove home.
Chapter Twenty-One-Rachel
"I think I know who the
boy was," I told my parents as we drove home.
"Who?" Mom asked.
"A...a friend from
school," I said while trying not to start crying again. "His name's Tobias."
I felt tears begin to roll down my cheeks again, but I wiped them away.
"Tomorrow we'll go
to the police," Dad said. I nodded and resumed staring blankly out the
window, trying to block out the memories of the past three days.
When we got home, I
spent a long time crying again and hugging my sisters. Once that was done,
I went straight for the kitchen. I hadn't eaten since breakfast three days
ago, and right now I didn't care about fat or sugar. I pulled out the Oreos,
the brownies, the apple pie, left over pizza. Not exactly a balanced meal,
but a delicious one.
The next day the house
was filled with friends and family coming to see me. Lots more tears and
hugs. More importantly, more things to think about than what had happened
in the woods.
As the number of visitors
decreased over the next few days and I went back to school, those memories
kept themselves fresh in my mind.
I sank into depression.
I couldn't sleep, couldn't eat, couldn't concentrate in school. Mom took
me to a psychologist, but she said my reaction was normal, considering
what I'd been through. Normal. Right.
When I got home from
school a few days later, I found that I couldn't take this anymore. Couldn't
take the way Mom babied me. Couldn't take the memories of my time as a
controller or going to Cassie's and Tobias' funerals.
I went into the bathroom
I share with Jordan. I opened the cupboard and pulled out a spare razor
blade.
Rachel, you can't
do this! a voice in my head said.
Watch me, I
replied as I lowered the blade to my wrist.
At least leave a
note! Something, anything!
I set the blade
down on the counter and went back to my room. I pulled out two sheets of
my best stationary and quickly wrote two notes. One to my parents and sisters,
the other to Jake. I sealed them in envelopes, labeled them, and put them
on the dining room table.
I slowly walked back
up to the bathroom, beginning to have doubts about what I was planning,
but I knew I had to. No more nightmares. No more memories. No more looks
of pity.
I laughed a little
as I picked up the razor. It was ironic, whenever I'd heard of a kid committing
suicide, I'd thought they were an idiot for taking their own life, that
they were selfish and immature. Now, here I was, in my bathroom, holding
a razor above my wrist, but I knew there was no other alternative. I couldn't
exactly go to a psychologist and talk about my problems. So I pressed the
blade to each of my wrists. I watched as the blood flowed out and puddled
on the counter and dripped to the floor before I passed out.
Chapter Twenty-Two-Jake
Six Months Later...
I stood at Rachel's
grave and opened the letter I'd read hundreds of times over the last six
months.
Jake-
If you're reading
this, I guess I went through with my suicide plan. I know you're going
to feel guilty, but don't, it's not your fault. I had to do this to save
myself. Yeah, it sounds stupid, but if you'd killed your best friend, your
boy friend (or girl friend) and two close friends in one day, and were
haunted by the memory of that and being a controller, you'd feel the same
way.
I'm telling my parents
that I just couldn't take the people at school and not having Cassie around
to hang out with anymore, but if it's ever safe, please tell them what
I really happened those three days, as much as you can, at least. I want
them to understand the hell that made me do this.
Good bye, Jake,
and best of luck to you always. I hope our side wins, I'm just sorry I
won't be there to celebrate with you.
Love,
Rachel
I folded the letter
back up. "It's over, Rachel. It's finally over."
Author's Notes: So, whaddya think? In
my humble opinion, this is a dark, tearjerker story, but I may be slightly
delusional. ;-) Anywho, send all comments to me, you know the addy.
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