AUTHOR: Me! Kelli!

SEND FEEDBACK TO: crunk_4_poofoo@hotmail.com

DISCLAIMER: I don't own MacGyver or Walker: Texas Ranger. Some other company dudes do. I don't hate them either. I'm a big fan of MacGyver and Walker... I just had this funny thought in my head during study hall last year and I wrote it.

MacGyver voice over: When a writer decides that she wants to write a crossover fanfic and she asks you to be in it your response should be-

Walker Theme: In the eyes of a ranger the unsuspecting stranger had better know the-

MacGyver: -no. The answer should be no.

Walker: -truth from wrong and right. ‘Cause the eyes of a ranger are upon you and any-

MacGyver: Especially when you are in a crossover with dork man, Walker, over here.

Walker: wrong you do he’s gonna see. When your in Texas look-- hey! Did you just call me dork man?

MacGyver:Yes... now shut up and let me finish my voice over here.

Walker: But... I was trying to do my theme song.

MacGyver: Let’s just forget them both.

Walker: Fine.

(Walker and MacGyver both walk in seperate directions. MacGyver is making a bra out of duct tape and Walker is talking on a cel-phone.)

Walker: Sounds hot.... take it off, Trevette. yeah.... finally is off stage.

MacGyver: Hmm... I wonder who the Chick Of the Week will be in this episode. Also off stage now.

(Cut to scene of MacGyver playing Nintendo in his cabin. The phone rings and he lets the answering machine get it.)

Machine: Hi. This is MacGyver. We all know how these things work so when you hear the beep... go for it.

(Pete Thorton is on the phone.)

Pete: Hey, Mac. This is Pete. You’re probably off saving somebody or hiking and living off the land or something. Well... I have another assignment for you and-

(MacGyver picks up phone pretending to be breathing hard like he just in from saving the world.)

MacGyver: Hey Pete. I just got in and heard you on the machine... what’s up?

Pete: Well... I have another assignment for you. It’s a tuffy. It’s gonna recquire a lot of MacGyverisms and duct tape. Are you up to the challenge?

MacGyver: Sure... where?

Pete:.... dramatic pause... Dallas, Texas.

MacGyver: Aww man! That’s where Walker is! I hate crossovers!

Pete: I’m sorry MacGyver. I’ll have more information for you when you get over here.

MacGyver: (like a stubborn two year old) Fine.

(Cut to Walker staring at Trevette with googly eyes at the office next to the computer.)

Trevette: Walker.... stop looking at me like that. It makes me uncomfortable. You have a fiance. Look at her.... Walker stop! I’m gonna... gonna... tell on you! You’re a macho man. You’re suppose to be interested in ditsy blond girls... not men!

Walker: Ya know.... you’re cute when your angry.

Trevette: WALKER!!

(Walker stops looking at Trevette and turns his attention to a piece of paper on his desk.)

Walker: Fine. Trevette.... I just got a piece of paper that says that there is a bad guy running around Dallas. I don’t know exactly what he does but he’s a bad guy.

Trevette: I think I’ll skip out on this one.

Walker: Are you sure? We could get some... alone time.

Trevette: I’ll skip it.

(Walker narrows his eyes.)

Walker: Fine.

(Cut to Pete in his office making out with Penny Parker. Walker walks in and raises his eyebrow.)

Walker: I think I accidently walked on to the wrong set... walks off the set.

(MacGyver walks in as Walker walks out. They stick their tongues out at each other. MacGyver then turns his attention to Pete and Penny.)

MacGyver: AHEM!!

(Pete and Penny both break from their long, long, long kiss. Pete clears his throat and grabs a piece of paper. He holds it up to hide his red face and the lipstick smearing his lips.)

Pete: MacGyver... uh... we were just uh.... Penny was choking. I had to give her mouth to mouth.

MacGyver: Oh...

(MacGyver raises eyebrows)

Pete: Well... your assignmnent. Um... there is a bad guy running around...pause... Dallas. We need you to get him because nobody trusts the Texas Rangers. The bad guy is...(dramatic pause)...Murdock.

MacGyver: Isn’t he dead?

Pete: Who says this show obeys the rules of continuity?

MacGyver: Oh yeah.

Pete: Well.... while you’re there you will meet a very attractive woman named Alex Kayhill. She’s Walker’s fiance. You will seduce her and steal her away from Walker. Then in the next episode you won’t even remember meeting her... either will anyone else in the show. Got it?

MacGyver: Got it.

(scene cut to MacGyver driving his jeep in Dallas... on his way to Walker’s office. Then scene cut to MacGyver walking in the doors to the buildingof Walker’s office. Then scene cut to MacGyver walking up to Walker’s desk.)

Walker: What are you doing here?

MacGyver: Where is Alex Kayhill?

Walker: She’s in some other building.

MacGyver: OK.

(MacGyver walks out of Walker’s office. scene cut to MacGyver walking into the building where Alex Kayhill is. Scene cut then to MacGyver approaching Alex.)

Alex: Hello. What can I do for you... sir?

MacGyver: Kiss me.

Alex: (thinks it over for a second.) OK

(they kiss.... for a long time.... ...commercial break... this is taking too long...)

(back from commercial they end the kiss... finally)

Alex: Wow.... that was great. So... who are you?

MacGyver: MacGyver... you can call me Mac, though.

Alex: OK... nice to meet you Mac. What are you here for?

MacGyver: I’m supposed to steal you away from Walker.

Alex: OK. You’ve succeeded.

MacGyver: OK then... now I need to find Murdoc and kill him.... again.

(Murdoc walks into the room with a camera. He takes a picture of MacGyver and Alex. He frowns as the picture develops. He looks up.)

Murdoc: Damn. Uh.. miss could you please get out of the way? You’re not suppose to be in the picture... I’m not trying to kill you.

(Alex moves out of the way. Murdoc holds up the camera again. MacGyver poses and Murdoc takes the picture. MacGyver moves to his side to see how it comes out. He nods approvingly.)

MacGyver: I have to say... that’s a pretty good picture. (he looks at his watch) Well... now it’s time for us to try to kill each other.

(Murdoc nods)

Murdoc: Yup.... on the count of three. One...

MacGyver: ...two....

MacGyver and Murdoc: Three!!

(MacGyver runs out of the room and out of the building. He runs bumps into Walker.)

Walker: Watch where you’re going ANGUS!!

(MacGyver stops running and turns around to look at Walker. Murdoc just comes out of the building to hear Walker call MacGyver by his first name. He gets a frightened look on his face.)

Murdoc: Whoa... even I won’t go that far. I’m outta here.

(Murdoc runs away.)

MacGyver: H-How did you know?

Walker: How did I know your name? Ha ha.... I just know... well... ok I got it from looking at your file. So... who else knows your name?

MacGyver: Two or three people. You wouldn’t dare!

Walker: Oh wouldn’t I?

(Walker holds up a big pile of papers.)

(MacGyver takes one of the papers and stares at it. It has a picture of him and underneath ANGUS MACGYVER is written. MacGyver gasps. MacGyver takes out a paperclip, a swiss army knife, and play Doh.)

Walker: What the hell are you doing? Play Doh??

MacGyver: Ha ha... wouldn’t you like to know.

(MacGyver walks away towards Walker’s truck. Walker stares at him like he’s insane. MacGyver lays under the truck and comes back out with a smile on his face.)

Walker: What did you do?

MacGyver: I made a bomb.

Walker: Yeah... sure. With a paperclip and swiss army knife and play doh. Whatever Angus.

(MacGyver walks away and Walker gets in his truck.)

Walker: What a dork. A bomb? Sure.... hey... what’s that noise?

**BOOM**

MacGyver: Never underestimate... ME.

(Alex comes outside and her and MacGyver walk off into the sunset.)

THE END