(Part 11/30) ADULT

     Forever Is A Long, Long Time

     Vickey Brickle-Macky

      Janette's private quarters were and were not what Natalie expected them to be. They were lush, expensive, full of old world charm, and leaned heavily to a very ornate Victorian style. On her walls were many paintings in gilt frames--very expensive original paintings, not copies or prints as she recognized unknown works by several prominent painters of subjects she knew had been privately commissioned for the occupant of this suite of rooms. For the most part they were portraits, very realistic ones done over a long span of centuries.

      The one who drew Nat's attention the most was a group portrait: Janette, LaCroix, naturally Nick, and a dark blonde, curly haired woman with an oval face, a generous mouth, and hazel eyes. The period was the Renaissance by the clothes they were wearing as well as the painting style. She could almost recognize the artist, the style was so tantalizingly familiar. The two woman sat on either side of Nick on a deep red velvet couch while LaCroix stood behind like a lord overlooking his kingdom. Janette looked secretly amused by something, while Nick was looking at the unknown woman and she was looking back a slight smile on her face.

      The unknown woman's features riveted Nat. She looked so very much like herself it was unnerving. It was almost as she had sat for this strange portrait. She felt Janette come over to stand behind her.

      "I see the painting interests you. I knew it would. It is one of my favorites. I talked Michelangelo into doing this for me. The poor man needed money desperately for one of his projects and I obliged him. He had no problem keeping our hours and asked no questions. We were very pleased. It was rare to get us all to sit for such a work. If you look around you will see other portraits here. Nicholi, does not know I still have some of these. He would not be pleased. He wanted few records left of his passage through time," Janette said as she walked over and sat down elegantly upon a red velvet fainting couch and poured herself a drink.

      "Who is the woman?" Nat asked getting very curious as she stared at the painting and saw herself reflected back.

      Janette looked at Nat and then at the woman in the painting, a look of shock on her face. "Oh, my. . ." she said with her hand to her mouth. "I did not see the resemblance until now. You could be her twin, dear Natalie. Her name was Angelette. She died a year after this painting was done. A tragedy engineered by LaCroix. Poor Nicholi, he was not the same for a very long time."

      "Nick, I take it was in love with her and LaCroix either killed her or had her killed?"

      "Yes. Nicholi had found her and brought her over. He had been separate from LaCroix and I for over two years when we met up with him in Rome. LaCroix tolerated her as he was happy to have Nicholi back, but he grew steadily jealous because of the love Nicholi had for his Angelette. One night he sent Nicholi on a mission to deliver some papers to a friend of ours in a distant country. In his absence he secretly arranged for Angelette to be picked up and questioned by the church as a heretic. She died horribly, poor girl. Nicholi went mad, and his grief was terrible to behold. He revenged himself on all the men who had had anything to do with her death. He was indeed Death's Dark Angel during this period. LaCroix played innocent for two centuries that he had nothing to do with Angelette's death, but during one of their more violent fights he confessed. Nicholi almost killed him for good right then. I sometimes wish he had to save us all pain now," the female vampire said.

      "Do you think Nick has me confused with Angelette? The resemblance is very strong," Nat asked, wondering if it was her he loved or the memory of his lost love.

      "Natalie, How can you ask such a thing? No, it is you, he loves. You are nothing like her. She was shy, very feminine, not at all assertive and bold like you are. I hesitate to say this, poor Angelette was rather empty headed. But she was sweet, and very loving, and she adored him and at that time that was all he wanted."

      "I find that hard to believe. Nick doesn't seem like the type."

      "Oh, the changes he has gone through over the centuries. He was always searching for himself, what he wanted to be. He has this great innocence about him. I don't think that will ever change. But he has great strengths as well. Despite all that LaCroix did to corrupt him, he kept his humanity, and his will. LaCroix could never break him completely which only made him more determined to."

      "Do you think he's finally dead?"

      "No."

      "Nor do I," Nat said feeling a sudden shiver down her spine.

      "Then I must try to prepare you against him, and to do so you need to know how to survive in this new life you now have. The things that Nicholi might not remember to tell you. Sit, my dear, Natalie, and listen," Janette indicated a chair and Nat did sit and listen.

     (Part 12/30)

     Forever Is A Long, Long Time

     Vickey Brickle-Macky

      Nick left the club in his car, stopping briefly by his apartment to unload the packages he and Nat had brought earlier. and to check how Sidney was doing. He gave the cat some more food and then left.

      When Janette had given him the address he had immediately recognized it as being on the edge of town and populated with very expensive old homes. It was the type of dwelling that LaCroix would normally pick out for himself. As Nicholas drove up the tree lined street approaching the house he felt very watched. So much for subtle reconning, he thought to himself as he parked across the street and observed it from the outside. The lights were still on but he could detect no movement within.

      If the Enforcers had been here--he shuddered at that--was he so sure he wanted to go in? Their means of justice were very exacting. He had narrowly missed being permanently disposed of twice. He hoped there would never be a third confrontation with them.

      After ten minutes of observation, in which no one came or went nor did anyone pass by the windows, he got out to investigate closer. He went to the front door and tried it. It was unlocked. Carefully he opened it and the smell of death was heavy in the air. He braced himself and walked in. There had been a party here, but the Enforcers had not cared as they had meted out their justice to both the vampires and humans alike within these walls. The vampire bodies were rapidly vanishing. It depended on the age of the vampire as to how long or quickly they disintegrated. But he was able to recognize Alexandra, Alyce, and the Baroness among the fallen. They would trouble him no more. He would have to call in the murders of the humans among them. Anonymously though, after a couple of hours. He did not want mortals on the scene before the others had vanished. There would be unexplained stains, and piles of odd ashes to be found, but with luck it would be made into some kind of cult thing. And even luckier for him this was not in the metro district patrol areas so it was someone else's headache. He left quietly and quickly, careful to leave no evidence of his own presence.

      Back out in the cool, crisp, night air he felt better, but he could not shake the feeling of being watched. He didn't like that, but after a while the feeling vanished after he got into town and nearer The Raven.

      He went back into the club and found Nat and Janette waiting for him. Though during his absence Janette had did a makeover on Nat. He did a double take at the elegantly dressed lady before him. She was stunning in a short, shimmering red dress, her hair loose and wild.

      "You look gorgeous," he managed to say, feeling like a tongue tied boy as he slid on to the seat next to her.

      "It was Janette's idea. She thought it looked more appropriate than the sweat suit."

      "It becomes you, Natalie. It really does," he said lifting her hand and kissing it. And with it he gave her a look to let her know how much he did like it and how much he wanted her. She smiled embarrassed under that intense longing she saw in those gray depths.

      The spell was broken by a discreet cough from the other person sitting at the table. She had been watching with great amusement but she was dying of curiosity as to what he had found. He looked over noticing Janette for the first time, though it was hard to tear his eyes away from Nat.

      Having gotten his attention Janette asked, "well, had they been there?"

      "Yes, the police should be arriving now. I waited before I called it in to give a chance for all the damning evidence of our people to vanish. We will be bothered no more from LaCroix's group. The Enforcers were very though."

      "Will they bother us now?" Nat asked worriedly.

      "They have no real reason to. The killings have been stopped and the evidence will vanish and soon memory of these killings will too. They will be very through."

      "What about Schanke? Will they know he knows?" Nat asked, not wanting anything to happen to him.

      "I hope not. I worry about him as well. He should be safe as you were."

      "I hope so," she said sincerely, then looked at her watch. It was going on four A.M.. "Isn't it about time for us to be getting home?" The talk with Janette had impressed Nat with how delicate she was and how deadly sunlight was to her right now.

      "It is getting late," he agreed as he stood up and helped her up, admiring again how beautiful she looked in the dress. Then he turned to Janette, "It looks like we are calling it a night. We'll see you later, Janette. If you hear anything further," Nick asked her.

      She inclined her head. "I will let you know. Good night, darlings, take care," she wished them.

      They said their good byes then Nick took Nat's hand and led her through the crowd then out to where he had parked the car.

      "You do look lovely, Nat," Nick told her as he let her into the car, then he got in.

      "You really like it? I still feel very strange wearing this getup. It's not my usual but Janette insisted. I didn't have the heart to say no."

      "I do like it, but I've always liked whatever you wore."

      She laughed at that, knowing that she was far from being a clothes horse and she tended towards anything-she-could-find-to-put-on, rather than a carefully coordinated wardrobe. "You can't be serious."

      "But I am," he smiled.

      "How come you never said anything before? I'm curious," she asked as she suddenly realized how much and how little she did know the inner, hidden Nicholas Knight.

      Nick looked shy, embarrassed. "I wasn't sure I should say anything. You don't take compliments very well and considering how our relationship was I felt it was better to keep my thoughts to myself. There have been more than a few times these last months that I was tempted to cross over the lines we had drawn but I didn't."

      "I can understand why you held back because you were afraid you'd vamp out, but it would it have been so bad to just talk about it? I know we sort of talked about Roger but I think there more that needs to be said by both of us."

      "Maybe, you're right. I will admit that Roger made me confront a lot of things I hadn't wanted to--feelings, the future, and my past. Then you drew back, too and kept everyone at arm's length. So I drew back when really I wanted to go forward then we just kind of seemed to go into some neutral limbo. You put such a shell around yourself I didn't know how to break through," he told her.

      "I did?" she asked in surprise. "I guess I didn't realize that I had. But you got so distant, so moody. I kept hoping . . . . never mind," she said biting her lip and getting flustered.

      "What? What did you hope?" he inquired.

      "I'm too embarrassed to say. It was just a stupid fantasy on my part," she confessed.

      "That when Roger started coming around that I would step in, say something?" he asked and she nodded and dunked her head. "I almost did, several times, like in your apartment and then later at work."

      "I thought so and that's what got me so mad at you. 'Sister--huh?', and then telling me how happy you were that I was finally seeing someone and that you weren't going to interfere with my happiness. God--Nick, do you know how much that hurt, how angry you made me?" she said seriously, looking at him hard before she continued. "I never was that interested in Roger. He was okay, but it was you that I wanted. I was only seeing him to make you jealous and you ignored me and kept tossing me back to the sharks."

      "I wanted you to have a normal life. I didn't feel worthy of you. I still don't. Every instinct told me to tell you the truth about how I did feel but I couldn't. Maybe if I had you wouldn't have gotten hurt and this might not have happened to you," he replied.

      "I guess even vampires are human," she said and he grinned as he pulled up in front of the warehouse.

      "I still need to go pickup Schanke and to take him home. Do you want to come along or wait here?" he asked.

      "It's getting close to dawn and even with all the drinks tonight I still don't feel like I can handle being too close to Schanke or any human."

      "Will you be alright by yourself?" he asked concerned.

      "If LaCroix and his friends are gone for good then it should be okay, shouldn't it?" she asked, trying to reassure him.

      "I'll walk you inside and check it out anyway," he told her as he got out and then opened the car door for her.

      He went into his apartment first. It was empty except for Sidney who was curled up on the couch fast asleep. Hearing them arrive he looked up briefly, yawned and then went back to his nap.

      "It looks and feels okay," he assured Nat as she cautiously stepped in.

      "You've got a call on the answering machine," she told him seeing the flashing red light.

      He nodded and had it play back his messages. There was only one and it was from Schanke. "Nick, I hope you get this. Jerry's giving me a ride home so don't come get me. North district called and told us about the bodies out in Addlebury. I take it they tie into our cases? Call me when you can and we'll see about closing these up. That's about all for now. Enjoy the honeymoon, and don't wear yourselves out, you two. Chow."

      "Looks like I don't have to give Schank a ride home after all," Nick said turning to her.

      "I heard. So now what?"

      "We could continue our conversation," he suggested moving closer to her.

      "I can think of more interesting things to do besides just talking," she smiled meaningfully waiting to see what he was going to do.

      "Oh, really?" he asked with an upturned eyebrow coming closer still but not touching her --yet.

      "Umhmm, unless you don't want me now that I'm like you?" she questioned seriously, really not sure how he felt about her now.

      "Huh??" he sputtered dumbfounded, backing up a step mentally, and physically.

      "Well, do you still want me?" she asked afraid now as she searched his features for clues as to how and what he was feeling.

      "Nat, how can you possibly ask that?" he asked honestly.

      "You've been so strange, so preoccupied since I changed. I know how much you hate being a vampire, and guilty because you had to do this to me--I thought , well I thought that you might not want me now. I know it's silly but I feel a distancing in you, like you are afraid to get close to me now," she told him afraid to meet his eyes.

      "Nat, you're wrong. My feelings for you haven't changed--and they won't. I love you no matter if you are vampire or mortal and I still have hopes that we can both cross back together. This is just a temporary set back. And any distancing you felt was because of the danger we were in from LaCroix and his friends which hopefully is over. I waited lifetimes for you, Nat and I won't give you up. I just hope you still want me and don't hate me instead for all that has happened to you," he asked, fearful of her rejection of him now.

      In response she rushed into his arms crying. "Nick, I'm sorry. I love you. I could never hate you," she cried and he wrapped his arms around her and held her sobbing body close.

      As he held her he began kissing her hair, devouring it with his kisses as he moved downward to her forehead, her temples, her tear stained eyes and cheeks and finally to met her upturned waiting lips. Her sobs turned to moans of passion as she melted into his embrace and let him have free reign with his lips and roving hands.

      "Nat, . . . , " he murmuredhuskily, making it sound like an invocation as his lips brushed hers, getting lost in her nearness and the wanting of her.

      Their lips met like fire and ice, all their senses and feelings magnified and intensified. What they had felt before was that much more enhanced. It was like they were suddenly alive for the first time tingling with an electric awareness of one another. Nick crushed her to him and she met his fiery passion with her own wrapping her arms around his neck and molding her body to his suggestively.

      He rained kisses on her face and neck as she kissed him back just as feverishly. His hands moved of their own volition along her curves, feeling, memorizing every line and plane. His hands felt like fire on her skin and she wanted to be lost in the raging fires he called up in her body, mind and soul.

      "Love me . . . make love to me, Nick," Nat begged him unable to endure this exquisite torture any longer, wanting him to quench the burning desire she was feeling.

      "Yess. . . . ," he breathed in agreement as his lips caressed her neck and then moved upward to tease the bottom lobs of her ears. His own fires were white hot for her and all he wanted now was to be lost completely in her flames. Without further ado he swept her up in his arms and flew her to the bedroom.

      He set her on her feet and continued his kisses on her bare shoulders while he deftly unzipped her dress and it slid down to pool around her feet. She stepped out of it to stand before him clad only in black lace panties and heels, and those quickly came off to join the pile on the floor. She faced him boldly, no longer shy or uncertain as she had been.

      Nick felt humbled by what Nat was offerring--herself in all ways to him. She stood there expectant--waiting for his move now. Swiftly, he took off his clothes and they too dropped one by one to the carpeted floor to join hers.

      The wanting, the need, the love he felt for her was crystal clear in the depths of yet so innocent eyes. He was ageless and yet just born at the same time, still a strange mix of ancient knowledge and primal man but there was still an air of vulnerability to him. He too was offering everything he was to her with his complete trust, his unconditional love.

      Natalie could feel it as a palatable thing across the slight distance that separated them. All doubts of whether he still wanted her were erased. He did with any intensity that she found hard to believe.

      "Can you feel me, Nat? Can you feel what I am feeling?" he asked, his voice low and husky, silky and sensual wrapped in the gossamer threads of his love.

      ". . . yes, . . . I can," she replied, surprised that she could and at this new dimension to their relationship. "It's all so clear, . . . like I'm hearing, really knowing you for the first time, " she added in wonder, her eyes widening in amazement. "And me? Can you feel me?"

      "Yes, Nat, but I have always been able to feel you from the moment we met at the morgue there has been a connection. Now it is more so, the barriers are all down. And you will be able to feel others as well, like Janette and others like us. Between us though there has always been a special bond. Feel it . . . . feel me . . . , " he commanded softly, willing her to feel more of the man he had kept hidden .

      "I do," she said breathlessly almost overwhelmed by it all. "I could feel you before--but now it's . . . unbelievable. Everything is sharper, clearer," she said closing her eyes to savor it all, to let herself feel it all, experience, know, and be wrapped in the wonder of his love. "Nick, . . . ," she breathed, "all this is what you have been holding back--I never dreamed," she said in wonder and awe.

      He smiled, somewhat embarrassed. "You couldn't, . . . I was afraid to let you know. And how could I explain this to you?" he asked not in words but by images in her head.

      She nodded in full understanding as she opened her eyes and looked at him respectfully. "It makes me wonder if humans are only shadows of reality while aren't. For so long I have thought the opposite but I question this. It's like I've been missing so much of what there could be to life and relationships. It's if the blinders had suddenly been removed from all my senses."

      "Does it frighten you?" he asked, wanting to know if he was going too far, too fast.

      "No just the opposite. I welcome this. I know I shouldn't but I do," she admitted, calming some of his fear.

      "I should warn you that it might get more intense," he cautioned.

      "How?"

      "In the beginning you might experience sensory overload until you learn to block and filter. I don't swear I know everything about how to block and filter. There were many things that LaCroix did not teach me or Janette. There were many things he left out on purpose to keep us dependent on him and he made sure that our associations with others was limited. We always moved in the same circles controlled by LaCroix or his allies. You will find that the vampire community is not that large. There are few that are as old as LaCroix or as even I am. The majority of the ones today are recent recruits, because so many elders have been destroyed over the centuries," Nicholas explained to her.

      "Destroyed?" she questioned. "not killed?"

      Nick nodded pacing a little. Nat was enjoying the view but she forced herself to concentrate on what he was saying. This was important. She needed to know this for her own survival. There would be more than enough time for love making.

      She heard Nick say: "Some were accidents, vampire hunters, human wars destroying our refuges, natural events. But in recent centuries more and more of the elders known to exist have been removed to the point there are only five known to still exist that were older than LaCroix when there had been fifty two centuries ago. All vanished under mysterious circumstances. There are only twenty five as old as myself and few under a couple of centuries, though here are at least a thousand born within this century and mainly since the sixties, many of whom owe allegiance to LaCroix," he informed her.

      "I see a picture here and it's not pretty. Does Janette know all of this?" she asked.

      "Some, but not all. To her it's none of her concern. She lives for the moment and tries not to concern herself with anything that does not involve her own immediate needs," he sighed, sitting down on the corner of the bed.

      "Yes, she strikes me as being self-absorbed, but she is concerned about you, me," she said coming over to where he sat.

      "She's trying to regain her humanity. Not all vampires are like LaCroix. Most try to keep low profiles, either avoiding humanity or trying to blend in like I have done. We live vicariously, try to hide what we are. Some embrace the bloodlust completely and do not mind the killing, while there are some that are indifferent, like Janette. There is a small minority who are like me who hate what they are and wish to be mortal again. Many of the elders were like me. The longer one stays alive the more the passing of time and the endless killings burn into your soul and your self-loathing grows to where you welcome the cleanness of true death and an end to the nightmare."

      "Do you still wish that for yourself?" she asked touching his arm.

      "No. I have you now, and we will find a way to become mortal and we will be able to both walk in the sunlight together that --I promise, Nat," he vowed sincerely taking her hand and kissing it as he lifted his eyes to look at her.

      "I believe you, Nick. I believe we'll get free of this someday but for now we still have each other. I'm not afraid of what lies ahead. I want you. I want whatever life we can have together, not for just this moment, not for just a day, but for always--an eternity whether we are vampires or mortal together," she said sincerely meeting his eyes and letting her feelings wash over him.

      And her desire, strong and pure and full of boundless love did wash him over like a soothing balm, cleansing his soul, making him feel clean. Not in eight hundred years had he allowed another being to get so close to him, nor did he suspect had she allowed anyone as well.

      Through the waves of love and desire he felt from her ran a touching innocence, as well as fears of being hurt, rejected, and always being an outsider looking in, never belonging anywhere with anyone--until she met him. And with that sense of comradeship had come a complete trust of him, and he vowed never to let her down and never let feel alone again.

      Wordlessly, with just a look, he gave her his full commitment to her as he reached for her and took her in his arms to claim her as his and his alone. Hungrily, he sought her mouth and let her know how much he did want her and needed her. Just as hungrily she responded molding her soft, lithe body against his hard muscular one seeking to merge, fuse hers with his. She was afire, wanting, needing, begging for more.

      Never had Nicholas been so stirred by anyone, not even Janette. If making love to Nat when she had still been mortal had been intense it was more so now as a new vampire. He rapidly began to lose what control he did possess, nor did he have to be cautious now. They were on equal ground this time. All breaks were off as he rained kisses on her body and he began to work his way slowly downwards.

      Nat moaned softly in her throat under his passionate onslaught. Her hands sought his broad shoulders for support as he lowered her willing body to the bed and then he slid them upward across the slick satin of his bed sheets never stopping his kisses as he so. Her flesh was on fire as his hands, lips, and tongue as well as gentle nips from his safely sheathed teeth worked over her aroused body. She had to admit what she was feeling was more intense than she had even dreamed possible, more than their previous lovemaking had been and she welcomed it and let her desire and his sweep them away.

     (Part !3/30 )

     Forever Is A Long, Long Time

     Vickey Brickle-Macky

      The rest of the morning was a blur, lost in their lovemaking. Finally, they slept until it was late afternoon when they were aroused from slumber by a furry body landing with a large plop on the bed then walking across it to lay in between them.

      "Sidney," Nat exclaimed, having forgotten about her cat. She started to reach for him then stopped herself. "Nick, get him away from me--quick!" she told him desperately as she started feeling the bloodlust rise in her.

      Nick reacted instantly and scooped up his robe and the confused and frightened cat and took him downstairs. He fed the hungry cat, and got a bottle and two glasses out for Nat and himself and returned to the bedroom closing the door behind him.

      Nat was sitting up in bed, the top sheet wrapped around her as she hugged her knees and rocked back and forth staring up at Nick with haunted eyes.

      "Nat, are you okay?" Nick asked setting the bottle and glasses down on the night stand as he sat down next to her.

      "No, . . . " she answered truthfully with a sob.

      "Nat, it's okay. We burned up a lot of energy making love. That's why it hit you so hard. Sidney's okay. I gave him some food and he's happy."

      "Nick--the hunger--it's so intense. It scares me so much. I feel so out of control. . . ." she confessed in a shaky voice looking at him.

      He handed her a full glass of blood and she drank it without protest this time and then handed it back wanting a refill which he did.

      She took it gratefully, taking slow sips of it now. "If it weren't for this hunger--everything would be perfect--well almost perfect," she smiled bitterly. "Even now I can feel you, smell the blood in your veins. . . . help me, Nick, please," she begged as her tears fell in pink tinged trails down her ivory face.

      "I will, Nat, I will. Just drink your drink. It's the only way--for now," he emphasized.

      She nodded numbly and drank more until he was satisfied she was stabilizing. "Without this for the time being, the hunger will consume you like it did Richard and you will go mad and go on a killing spree to satisfy your hunger. I can't bear the idea of you killing, going through what I have gone through."

      "I don't want to either. I saw what Richard did to those people. Even if they were scum they didn't deserve what happened to them and then he came after me and his Sarah. Drinking this will keep me from killing?" she questioned.

      "It should. Richard was the first I tried to bring over using animal blood rather than human. It should work in theory. Few of us drink this. Kind of like the difference between being a vegetarian and a carnivore."

      "In theory?" she questioned her voice rising slightly in alarm, "so you don't know whether this will work or not?"

      He grinned. "It should. I didn't kill for almost a hundred years drinking this stuff."

      "Okay, I'll try this liquid diet of yours and hope it works," she told him, letting him know that she still trusted him. "And I sent you to a twelve step program . . . ," she added with a bitter laugh. "How wrong I was thinking this was just a simple addiction like any other."

      "Nat, you didn't know, couldn't really understand that this is beyond any human addiction as we are beyond normal human beings. We are almost alien life forms, separate and distinct from the rest of life on earth. I know of no other life that lives as we do."

      "Nor do I. I know I've been doing my own private research along that line to get a handle on your--our problem. You said alien life form--maybe that is the key to a cure?" she said enthusiastically.

      "Huh?" he asked sipping his drink. He looked at her oddly, trying to understand what she was getting at.

      "No, I'm not crazy. Hear me out. What if this is some sort of weird alien virus? Something that came here ages ago and keeps getting passed on in a selective way like through human saliva? How long have there been vampires that you know of? When did it all start? Like how old are the oldest ones?" she asked getting excited, animated, losing the air of doom and gloom she had been wearing.

      He shrugged, curious himself where she was going with her line of questions. "The best I can determine is since the beginning of mankind, starting with the Paleolithic Period approximately 40 to 50 million years ago. There is evidence of vampire activity in a deep cave in southern France I discovered on one of my digs a century ago. I have also found evidence in several other ancient hidden sites in Europe and Asia Minor as well as the Americas," he confessed.

      "So you've been doing your own investigations over the years too?" she said frowning at him.

      He grinned and nodded. "Didn't you ever figure out why I was so interested in archeology. You should have gotten a clue from the Mayan cups," he taunted her.

      "I never gave it a thought. But every archeologist has a special topic they are interested in. I should have put it together before--vampires. You have been investigating your origins in hopes of understanding how to remove the curse?"

      "Correct, doctor, you get a 'A'. Yes, for centuries I have been trying to track down how we came to be. What knowledge there is is very scarce and hidden. Over the years the Enforcers have been very through in destroying all evidence of us, especially since the years following the Inquisition," he told her truthfully.

      "I take it humans did find evidence of your existence and went after you?"

      "It was worse than that.. A human religious order took over one of our hidden libraries and sanctuaries. When they discovered our records then there was a wholesale slaughter of vampires all over the world. We lost many because we had grown careless and believed ourselves invulnerable. How wrong we were. LaCroix, Janette, and myself just barely managed to survive that dark period."

      She grimaced, feeling his painful memories. "Is it any safer now for us?"

      "A little. The world sees us as unreal, mythical creatures that never really existed except in stories or on the screen. But is it safe as long as we don't draw attention to ourselves."

      "I will try to be careful. Janette told me a lot of what I can and cannot do and what I have lost,' she said with a touch of sadness in her voice.

      "That as a vampire we can't have children?" he asked gently.

      "Yes," she admitted. Before it was only a dream for someday when I met the right man which turned out to be you. I had such secret hopes which now may never be realized," she said not looking at him, rather to visions only she could see.

      The touch of his hand on hers brought her back and Nat turned back to him. "I know, Nat. I was beginning to dream myself along those lines," he confessed and she looked at him amazed.

      "You were?" she questioned.

      "Yes. The closer I came to being human again the more I believed it might be possible to really have a normal life and a family--with you."

      "I don't know what to say, Nick."

      "Nothing for now. Just don't give up your dreams and never say never. You told me that once and I believed you, so believe me now. Your worse enemy now is depression and thinking of what has been and what might have been.," he said and she nodded trying to push the doubts and the fears away but it wasn't easy.

      She sipped so more of her drink and made her mind track back to their earlier discussion. "You said you found evidence of ancient vampires?"

      He nodded. "I did. There is evidence of them in several sites across the world. Then there are many ancient books that speak of cures. Some were magical incantations with no scientific basis but there were a few ones based on herbal or chemical means that did offer hope."

      "So did you find any of these cures?"

      "I came close several times but every time LaCroix blocked me. He always seemed two steps ahead of me whenever I was tracking down a likely lead, always getting there before me to destroy what knowledge there was before I could get my hands on it," Nick told her bitterly, his mind flashing back across the centuries at all the times LaCroix had beaten him.

      "It sounds like he wanted to keep you under his thumb?"

      "Yes, as he did all of his bloodline. There are not many left that I know of. There is one who may be sympathetic to us, Claudis, if he still lives. He is older than Janette or me. He lived in Rome before the Caesars came to power. I met him once. He was like me, disgusted by what he had become, wanting to find a cure. LaCroix and him fought over that and Claudis somehow won. LaCroix was actually frightened of him as I was. After the fight we left Rome and it was many years before we visited there again but we did not see Claudis on any of our return visits."

      "Do you think he might be able to help us if he is still alive?" Nat asked hopefully.

      Nick shrugged. "Maybe, who knows."

      "I hope someone in the community can. In the meantime, did you keep records of your researches? Maybe there's something in there that you've overlooked. Two heads are better than one," she grinned, lightening up.

      "Yes, very extensive records of which I made duplicates of and hid in various places. After LaCroix found and destroyed years of research of mine I became more cautious and made sure I made duplicates. I am sure it was he that had me fired in Chicago. I was close to getting my hands on some ancient Egyptian artifacts and manuscripts relating to a vampire cult in the Middle Dynasty. The timing was too perfect."

      Natalie agreed. She had heard him tell of his time in Chicago as an assistant professor of antiquities and how happy he had been and how his happiness had been shattered by someone turning him into Committee For UnAmerican Activities. He had come very close to being exposed but at the last second he had been whisked away from jail so that he could vanish and take up life elsewhere. She realized with a start she hadn't even been born yet and her parents were just barely in their teens. God, she was an infant compared to the man next to her.

      "What?" he asked seeing her strange expression.

      "It's nothing, really."

      "Can you tell me?" he asked, curious.

      "Just how vast a difference there is between you and me. It never really struck me until now. You're talking about Chicago like it was yesterday. I hadn't even been born yet, wouldn't be for another ten years.," she said a little frightened. "How do you hide that knowledge, that experience of centuries? How do you cope? When I look at you and we talk, it's like there is no difference, no gap of centuries."

      "It's something I've worked at to conceal who I am from the world. I could never be myself around anyone except another vampire before, it was too dangerous. Somehow it always felt safe, right to confide in you. As to coping in the beginning I looked forward to seeing the centuries unfold. I was full of wonder and curosity. I reveled in how I could walk through time and not feel its deadly bite. I watched generation after generation being born, grow up, have offspring, grow old and then die while I remained the same like an insect trapped in amber. But unlike an insect I could still see, hear, touch, and feel all that was human, but I could never truly interact like being an observer in a slowly moving time machine."

      Yes, I guess it would seem so to you. That's pretty heavy thinking. I didn't think you had it in you," she kidded.

      "I do tend to get carried away," he apologized, with a grin. He decided to wait until sometime later to tell her about all the scholarly works he had penned under various names. He didn't think her ego was quite up to that knowledge yet. Instead he asked: "I take it you're feeling better?"

      "Lots. God, we've been talking for hours it seems like. So what is the game plan for tonight?" she asked seriously.

      "That is up to you. What do you feel up to doing?"

      "I really don't know except I am not up to facing my apartment yet. If LaCroix's bunch wasn't dead I'd kill them myself for what they did. I'm surprised we haven't heard from Schanke yet. Do you think he's all right?" Nat asked with a hint of worry in her voice.

      "With LaCroix and his people out of the way, he should be. I don't sense him being in any kind of trouble so let's assume things are all right until we hear otherwise."

      "So you think the killings have finally stopped?"

      "I hope so. From what I saw at the mansion, the Enforcers were very through. By the time the police arrived there should have been no evidence of vampiric involvement. Alyce, Alexandra, and the Baroness were all among the fallen."

      " I hate to say good but their involvement with him made them dangerous. So you think LaCroix is really dead then? For good?"

      "Nat, you saw me decapitate him, then his body burned up in the sunlight. I did not find his head but I assume it burned up too. There is no way now that I know of he could resurrect himself short of magic and I don't believe in magic."

      "You don't?" she questioned, eyeing him challengingly. "Then why did you think the Mayan cups would work if you don't believe in magic?"

      He looked embarrassed. "I was desperate to try anything at that point, you know that. That's why I let you help me after you volunteered. And so far only your approach actually did make any difference in me."

      "Glad to know I was good for something. So you don't hold too much hope out for ancient cures?" she asked.

      "I didn't say that. I've been tracking down some references to some ancient vampires that became mortal again using herbs and chemicals. The last couple of years I've been too busy to follow up on it. And I wanted to give you a chance before I tried another avenue. Then there's your biochemist friend. His work interests me," Nick said.

      "I'll give him a call tonight and see if he's got any news. And while we are at it I can help you track down those references. If you don't think it'll be too dangerous for us?" she asked, knowing how protective he was.

      "That I'm not sure. I have to retrieve my notebooks first. We can do that tonight. It's not far."

      "I'm game. Let me get a shower and get dressed."

      "That sounds good. I'll join you," he said with a glint as his eye as he leaned over and gave her a kiss on her cheek before giving her a hand up out of bed.

      "If you start kissing me again I'll never get out of this bed," she warned him.

      "That could be arranged . . . ," he suggested devilish, drawing her to him.

      "Oh no, don't you start," she warned with a laugh him trying to break away and head for the bathroom.

      He caught her easily around the waist and held her immovable as he began kissing her bare shoulders and back, and working back up to her neck. She felt like she was melting under his gentle assault.

      "Nick, . . ." she protested weakly, "I still want to take a shower."

      "So do I. We could . . . share?" he purred. "It has been a while since I had the opportunity to bathe such a lovely damsel. May I?" he asked in his most courtly manner.

      "Mmmm, . . . yes," Nat sighed and gave in as she felt his hands caress her body and his hard solid body pressed against her back moving in slow sensual movements. She couldn't protest any longer as she let him lead her to the shower.

     (Part 14/30)

     Forever Is A Long, Long Time

     Vickey Brickle-Macky

      An hour later they were dressed in casual clothes and on the road to the first of their stops to retrieve Nick's hidden research diaries. The first site was an old Catholic church in one of the poorer sections of town. Nat looked up at its Gothic architecture with foreboding.

      "Here? You stashed a diary in a church? I thought you couldn't stand to set foot on hallowed ground?" she asked nervously, looking at him as if he had lost it completely.

      He grinned back at her. "Normally, I don't. That's the beauty of it, other vampires would not think of one of their own having a safe keeping box so to speak in a church. When I first moved here I made the acquaintance of the local parish priest and asked him to keep the records safe for me. He did not know what was in them nor what I was, but I have made substantial contributions to the church on a regular basis to keep his good will. The only thing he knows is that I'm a detective with Metro and there has been less crime in his neighborhood since I joined the force," Nick explained as he got out. "Nat, I want you to stay put. It's too dangerous for you to come in," he added in warning.

      "More than sitting in this car in this neighborhood?" she asked doubtlessly, looking around.

      She was very well acquainted with the area from the crime reports as well as the number of dead bodies that made it through her office on a fairly regular basis. Then she was still thinking as a human female and not as a vampire.

      She made herself concentrate on what Nick was saying. "Walking across hallowed ground would be extremely painful for you, like walking across a bed of red hot coals. Given your religious background it would be even worse. Trust me on this one. And as to danger just sitting here, this car and myself are well known around here. You won't be bothered," he promised.

      "Okay, if you say so, just make it quick," she requested, looking up at him and he nodded.

      With a shiver she watched him walk away and enter the church grounds. She could feel his discomfort and noted that he was now wearing heavy black leather gloves despite the weather. Gingerly he grasped the heavy door handle and opened the door. He stepped inside and disappeared from view. Ten minutes later he reappeared with a large wooden box in his hands, and quickly entered the car.

      "Got it?" she asked as he sat down next to her.

      "Yes, but it doesn't feel as heavy as I remember it being," he said in a worried tone as he took his key ring and found the key to open it with. With the key the box snapped open, almost too easily, he thought. Then he saw why. It was empty except for an envelope addressed to him. He recognized handwriting--it was LaCroix's. Why was he not really surprised?

      "LaCroix?" she asked at his disgusted, pained expression as he took the letter out and opened it. Nick nodded grimly. "He beat me to it somehow. This was the one place that I thought safe from his intrusion," he commented bitterly as he read the note.

      "What does it say?" Nat asked.

      He handed it to her and she read it growing just as angry at LaCroix's arrogant tones as he had:

      My Dear Nicholas,

      As you can see I've beat you again. Never hide what you do not want me to find in a church, dear boy. That is the first place I look. It might keep lesser ones than you or I from finding your treasures but never, never me.

      I will say I am impressed by your scholarly pursuits, but you have always tended to be bookish and show immense curiosity for things forbidden, though you seem not to learn from experience. As I have warned you before knowledge about our beginnings is forbidden. Be glad it was me and not some Enforcer or even a human that found your precious manuscripts. You delve into areas quite dangerous--stop it or suffer the consequences. You have been warned. . . .

      LaCroix

      "God, he's an arrogant so-and-so!" she exclaimed in disgust. "Do you think he's found your other hiding places?"

      "I don't know. I hope not. The other sites are harder to access but we'll give them a shot. Surely, he hasn't found and destroyed all of them here."

      "It doesn't seem likely but now I'm not putting anything past him. How long ago do you think he did this?"

      Nick shrugged and started the car. "It's hard to say. The priest assured me that no one had come to inquire about the box, nor had it been moved from where he had hidden it beneath the altar. This time he bested me I just hope that at least one of my hiding spots escaped," Nick told her as they headed out of the neighborhood towards one of the cross town expressways.

      A half hour later they pulled up at an ancient cemetery on the edge of the town. Natalie vaguely recognized where she was as she looked around curiously. "You do believe in out of the ordinary hideouts?" she laughed. "But a cemetery, wouldn't that be a little obvious for a vampire?" she asked seriously.

      "Yes, that's the beauty of it. It is obvious and I hope LaCroix would think it beneath me to use such a place to hide anything I wanted to keep hidden from others. We'll see if my logic worked," he told her with a smile getting out into the cool, crisp country air.

      "Do I have to stay put or is it safe? I really hate cemeteries, especially cemeteries at night, but I hate sitting in the dark by one even more," she said with a visible shudder looking at how deserted it was where they were at.

      The closest houses had been three miles back and she could only see their lights as vague spots in the darkness. Above them hung a full moon, like old bright ivory. Feathery wisps of clouds floated across it and the deep navy sky blazed with stars. Surrounding them was deep heavy pine forest save for the area that had been carved out for the cemetery.

      Nick looked at her amused. "What you're afraid of some old, long dead bodies? You a pathologist?" Nick asked, oddly amused.

      "Ghosts, not dead bodies," she admitted. She might be a vampire now but the old psychological fears and terrors of humanity still remained.

      "Ghosts? There are no such things as ghosts," he said with assurance.

      She didn't believe him as she shot back with skepticism: "That's what everyone said about vampires and now look," she concluded pointedly daring him to dispute that.

      "Okay, I see your point, but there really aren't any ghosts and if there are they can't hurt you. So come on, I'll protect you against any unseen denizens of the night," he grinned as he opened the car door.

      "This place looks very old," Natalie commented, getting out of the car herself.

      "It is. It dates from the earliest settlement of this area."

      She looked up in respect at the twenty foot tall rusting wrought iron gates and sinister spiked fence that told of earlier, more ornate times. There was an air of long disuse, neglect, and moldy decay that hung over the place. Tall grasses and wild bushy weeds had almost overtaken the tombstones and the whitely gleaming granite statues within. She got out and walked to the gate which was secured with a huge iron padlock. Below it was a more modern steel chain and padlock. She tested both with good strong yanks. They both held. Nat grimaced and looked back at Nick watching her with an amused expression.

      "What are you smiling at?" she asked.

      "You. You see a lock and think it will keep you out."

      "Well, won't it? Not unless you have a key or are going to break them, I don't see any way through them."

      "Not through them, over them."

      "Huh??" she asked, really puzzled now.

      "We can jump and fly over them. Gravity doesn't apply to us, remember?" he grinned taking her hand. "Bend your knees and jump up," he told her.

      She looked at him skeptically but she had seen him jump and fly. "I can fly?" she questioned.

      He nodded. "You can fly," he assured her.

      "Sounds like a line out of Peter Pan, but if you say so," she smiled and did as he requested. Springing up and she did fly and they bounded over the high fence to land easily in the graveyard.

      "See, you need to trust more," he told her with a smile, still holding on to her hand.

      "I'm learning. So now what McDuff? Lead on," Nat joked back, looking around at the towering statues of weeping Madonnas, smiling cherubs, stone crosses and other decorative religious symbols. "Aren't I supposed to avoid crosses and stuff like this?" she questioned worriedly, looking at the various elaborate tall crosses that adorned some of the old graves, being careful just in case to avoid touching their shadows. Nat was not going to chance whether they were harmless or not to herself given Janette's warnings of what could and could not hurt her and what she had seen happen to Nick with crosses before.

      "It's more the wearable kind than the statuary. Just try to avoid touching anything in here. Good rule of thumb is if it burns to the touch then further contact will seriously hurt or kill you."

      "It's okay to walk across the ground. I won't start smoking or anything?" she questioned, still afraid.

      "That's why I suggested wearing heavy shoes, just in case. But if it starts getting hot . . . ," he warned her seriously.

      "I know, let you know," she agreed giving his hand a squeeze.

      "Come," he told her leading her down a row of gravestones .

      They walked a quarter of a mile or more before the ground became steeper and they began going uphill to a group of what appeared to be family mausoleums at the crest. With her new senses she could see every line of them as if it were daylight not dark. The granite and dressed Romanesque stone crypts appeared to date back to the 1840's. Surrounding the large and impressive tombs were low black iron fences separating them from the rest of the cemetery.

      A chill brisk wind blew dried leaves across the ground and rustled the ones still remaining on the trees. It ruffled her loose curly hair and she could feel the wind on her face and hair but not the temperature. In the distance she could hear the night birds call as well as a lone owl. She had heard that the night was alive with sound, this was the first time she had really heard it. There were so many things she was going to have to get used to and so much she already missed.

      Beside her Nick had stopped and was absorbed in looking at the structures.

      "Is everything alright? Can you tell whether anyone has been here?" she asked in a low cautious voice, checking the shadows for uninvited guest whether vampire, human, or spectral. There were none that she could detect.

      "It doesn't appear to be disturbed, and we are still alone," he assured her as if reading her thoughts and went closer.

      Going to the nearest structure he approached the decorative roses on the low lintel above the door and studied it for a moment before reaching up and touching the fourth from the right corner then the third from left then the center one and the plain brass covered doors swung slowly open. It was pitch black inside but that didn't bother Nick as he pulled out a pen light from his inner jacket pocket and flicked it on.

      "Neat, Nick. How did you discover the combination of the door?" Nat asked impressed.

      "This was a common way of safeguarding wealthy tombs during this period. It took a lot of trial and error before I hit upon the right combination. Did you happen to notice the family name above the doorway?" he asked.

      "Yeah, LaCroix. His?"

      "Yes. It was specially built to be a sanctuary for any of us if we needed it when we were in this area . There are a number of crypts and within each are hidden panels and storage compartments for valuables, etc.. LaCroix did not tell me of this place, Janette did," he said opening the door and leading the way inside.

      The tomb had not been opened for awhile. The air was rank with dust and moldy wetness. Rain and water had seeped in along the west wall and it was slick slimy green with phosphorescencent lichen. The only thing missing was the smell of death. No one was actually interned here. Even she could tell that, still the eerie silence of the place was enough unnerve her and set her on edge. Their footsteps rang hollowly on the stone tiles of the floor as they made they way across the fake tomb. Nick stopped finally at one with the name Nicholas Alexander Templar carved upon it.

      "Yours, I presume," Nat commented just watching. She was amused at the variation on his present name and she wondered what his real name really was. She still didn't know that after all this time. How very much she really didn't know about this man she was going to spend a possible eternity with. It was a sobering thought.

      "For this time period, yes," he acknowledged as he stepped forward and began pressing a sequence of decorations carved on the box ending with the nose of a laughing cherubs face. A hidden panel clicked opened and Nick pulled out a large stone box and set it on top of the sarcophagus.

      "Keep your fingers crossed," he told her as he opened the box. He looked inside and sighed with relief. "They're all still here. He didn't find them," he said with relief.

      He lifted out several thick notebooks tied with heavy leather strings as well as a stack of loose papers and some rolled ones--maps most likely Nat thought as he spread them carefully out on the top. Nick opened the diaries, leafing through them to see if everything was all there, nodding to himself as he read. Then he unrolled the maps and smiled.

      "Well?" Nat asked leaning against the sarcophagus, getting edgy at being there so long.

      "All the diaries are definitely here and intact, Nat. These are my originals not one of the copy sets I made up from them. Even the photographs and the rubbings I made of those Egyptian artifacts I mentioned earlier are still here, along with the photographs I took in Rome, France and in England. That means the other diaries I left should be here as well," he said going over a crypt marked Angelique Janelle DuBois.

      Nick pressed a sequence of lilies and graceful flying swans designs on the surface of that box and two hidden panels on the pedestal ends clicked opened. "I didn't think Janette would mind me using her safety deposit boxes," he grinned.

      He reached in to retrieve the two large wooden boxes stored within their separate hiding places. More diaries and papers were brought out and added to his original ones. There were also some ancient leather-bound books with heavy parchment pages. At the bottom of one were small clay and stone tablets with writings and glyphs on them that Nat didn't recognize. There were also several heavy ornate gold rings and amulets, plus small statues and figurines composed of various materials.

      Nat picked a couple of the figures out of curiosity. They were humanoid in appearance, reminiscent of ancient Paleolithic god/goddess statues having round, plumb bodies and limbs but unlike them they all displayed prominent fangs and two of little statures held terrified or ecstatic smaller human appearing figures tightly in their arms which appeared to be biting their necks or sucking their life forces from their victims.

      "I don't recognize any of these. One looks possibly pre-Columbian, the others I don't have a clue. They're creepy little things. Morbid even. What are they?" she asked putting them back carefully.

      "Very old. They date back to thirty million years ago. They are part of the artifacts and cave paintings I found in a sealed cave in France. They were arranged along the walls facing a sacrificial altar. On the back wall was a painting depicting their god coming to earth from the stars: A tall thin god with a white face, white hair, and glowing green eyes, dressed in flowing robes. Oddly, the being reminded me of LaCroix but I dismissed that as an over active imagination."

      "You don't think?" Nat questioned.

      "It couldn't be--at least I hope not. According to the cave painting the original god was not alone. There were others in other ships that landed in other places according to the maps on the wall. These were very detailed and specific beyond the skills of primitives which leads me to believe these were made by the god/gods themselves."

      "You really found all this? I sounds like the discovery of a lifetime. Did you tell anyone?"

      "No, how could I given the subject matter? You're the first and we must keep this between ourselves. I've never even told Janette about my discoveries. I couldn't risk a leak," he told her seriously.

      "The Enforcers?" she questioned.

      "Yes, that was one worry and the other was the larger world. How do you think they would react if they found out that vampires existed in reality?"

      "They'd freak and there would be a witch hunt."

      "Right. I might despise my own existence but I would never knowing jeopardize anyone else's, vampire or not. That is why me must keep this to ourselves, especially this," he said, dramatically drawing out and unwrapping a chamois protected package.

      Nat gasped in surprise. It was a large book. It gleamed golden in Nick's pen light and was unlike any book Nat had ever seen. The highly carved covers appeared to be out of gold but were not, as were the thin, flexible but plastic appearing sheets that served as paper with their embossed lettering in a very unknown language.

      "It looks like gold, but it isn't, is it?" she asked, touching it and feeling a slight energy current go through it but she dismissed that impression as a flight of fancy.

      "No, and I haven't been able to determine what it is. I found this in a set of deep caves and tunnels high in the Andes of South America. It was lying on top of a huge solid clear crystal sarcophagus which was empty. There were odd, alien looking statues and what appeared to be a holographic star map on the ceiling of the room. Along the sides of the room were strange metal boxes of various sizes covered with writing and diagrams and set with multicolor crystal rods that glowed with blinking lights. When I picked up the book there was a loud rumbling and the lights on the alien machines began to brink rapidly. My action had started a self-destruct sequence and roof began to crumble and come down. I barely escaped."

      "What are you trying to say this is an alien, as in outer space alien artifact?" Nat questioned skeptically.

      "Yes, for lack of a better explanation, I believe it is. The tunnels I traveled through were smooth, melted smooth, not carved or dug out. The natives in that remote area said it was the tomb of one of the sky gods that walked by night and fed off the blood of the people. They were afraid and warned me not to put my life in peril as they said the sky god still wandered the deep caverns. I did not see anyone but I sure felt someone watching me. In fact more than just one. I had the impression of beings that were very old, very evil, and dangerous, yet curious too as I was not a normal human and that confused them. Maybe that's why they didn't show themselves or attack me. The cave-in buried the entrance to the caverns and I was unable to discover another way in. The photographs I took in that hidden room show similarities to those I've taken in France and several other sites. I think there's a connection but I have not been able to follow it up before," he told her

      "Maybe we can find it. I don't know how much help I'm going to be. But I'll try," she said truthfully. "Is this all?" she asked

      "Just one more box of books and we'll be finished here," he told her hitting another hidden catch on his tomb and the bottom pedestal panel slid back to reveal a large wooden crate which Nick drug out and opened. He looked through it briefly and put the lid down. "All there. Reference books," he explained to her inquiring look.

      "Looks like we've got a couple of trips," Nat observed.

      "No, just one for you and I."

      "All these books look like they weigh a ton," she protested. "We can't carry this all in one trip, it's impossible."

      "Normally yes. Remember your strength is double, almost triple what it has been. That's why I brought the bags," he told her putting the diaries and other things in the canvas knapsacks he had brought.

      Nat looked at him with some doubt. Shrugging, she took the filled sack that he gave her. It was no heavier than a small purse, except bulkier. Nick filled another sack with the remaining papers and artifacts and put it on top of the crate. He picked both up effortlessly and looked at her expectantly. "Ready?" he asked as he looked around making sure everything was closed and secured as if no one had been there.

      "Lead on," she told him.

      They went back out in the cold night and Nick closed and resealed the tomb behind them. They walked back to the car and he put his treasures into the large trunk. Nick looked around satisfied that they were the only ones present. Then they got in and he started the car to head back to town.

     (Part 15/30)

     Forever Is A Long, Long Time

     Vickey Brickle-Macky

      Nat was quiet on the way back thinking about the future. She hoped that after all this effort that there might be something in Nick's researches they could use. In any event she knew this was going to be a long shot. Any hope from her friend was going to be another long shot. And to use any of the techniques that she had been using on Nick to help him were going to take months, years to start showing any results which might not really restore them to normal.

      She didn't want to wait years to become normal, she wanted to be normal now. She felt miserable, she was miserable. Why couldn't life be simple, no complications? But being turned into a vampire had been one of the risks she knew might happen when she met Nick and fell in love with him. She hadn't expected the risk to turn into reality but --it had and she had to accept it.

      "Nat, you okay?" Nick asked concerned as he glanced over at her.

      "Yeah, I guess," she replied depressed now. She straightened up a little in the seat, but continued to stare moodily out the window.

      "Are you hungry?"

      "A little. Maybe I overamped," she agreed as an apology for her bad mood.

      "Maybe you did. You still need to take it easy for awhile. There's a bottle in the back seat," Nick suggested.

      Resigned, Nat reached back and got the bottle and drank some out of it.

      "More," Nick ordered, "you need it more than you think."

      "Yes, doctor," Nat acquiesced, taking another couple of deep drinks from it until the contents were half gone. "Enough?" she asked with a raised eyebrow feeling like she had reached saturation point.

      "For the moment. Feel any better?"

      "A little. It's just weird not eating any solid food. I think I really miss my cheeseburgers and greasy fries."

      "You'll be eating them soon enough. Though I had hoped when this is over we'd both be eating better faire than your usual, no offense," Nick told her.

      "No offense taken. Nick, I'm sorry to be such a pain. It's just that I feel so strange, so out of it. Not sure what I'm suppose to do, to be, or what I am anymore. I keep feeling like I'm waiting for something to happen. . . yet afraid of something happening at the same time. . . am I making any sense?" she asked worriedly.

      "Yes, your reaction is quite normal, the disorientation, the alienation. You're beginning to realize how different we are from normal humans. We may look like everybody else, but in some strange way we're not. It's something at bone level, this difference that has made us different. And it is scary the first time that fact hits home. At least it was for me," he confided.

      "You can remember that?" she asked surprised.

      "I can remember everything that has ever happened to me since I became a vampire as clear as it was this moment. Every conversation, every face, everything I have seen, heard or felt, and you will too, even clearer than the memories of when you were still human."

      "I never want to forget what it's like to be human or how I was . . . I can't," she angrily threw back.

      "Nor do I want you to. Hold on to your humanity. That's what will help you to want to come back."

      Nat nodded grimly, taking Nick's words to heart. She glanced at her watch--almost three-thirty. They had been gone longer than she had thought. In three more hours the sun would rise. Instead of welcoming it she must now fear this act of nature and she hated having to do that.

      For the last three years she had taken the sun and the daylight world for granted as her hours gradually changed to accommodate Nick's schedule and she hadn't even realized she had been doing it. Even before she had even acknowledged to herself that she did love him she had been making herself fit to his needs, his lifestyle. She just hadn't expected it to turn out this way so that all hers choices were taken away from her. It made her feel angry, frustrated, and helpless and she refused to be helpless for anyone. She hadn't been dependent on anyone since before she left for school. It was just too hard to take, to accept, like she had no control over herself or her life. She just wasn't ready to surrender completely. She had surrendered enough all ready.

      Glancing over at Nick, she tried to read what was going on behind those blue grey eyes and couldn't. his concentration was on the road, or on his research or both. She couldn't tell. There seemed like the distance between them was growing instead of diminishing. It was worse than before they had become lovers. Was this distancing something innate to vampires or was it specific to some problem between them? She didn't want to lose Nick, yet she felt as if she was.

     Was she being silly and reading things into the situation when there wasn't anything to worry about? She wasn't sure. That was the problem, she wasn't sure of anything anymore. She need to just think all of this out alone.

      She sat back further into the seat and ran a hand nervously through her thick, curly hair. The movement caught Nick's attention.

      "Are you okay, Nat?" he asked solicitously.

      "Yeah, sure, . . . I guess," she replied, biting her lip, wondering if she could talk to him.

      He wasn't buying that she was alright. He looked at her worriedly. "Nat, are you sure?" he questioned gently. "I know something's bothering you. We can talk," he offered again, trying not to push.

      "Can we? I feel like a bundle of nerves, not sure of anything anymore. And it's not hunger, it's just me. I think I need to be alone. I think I need to go think-- by myself," she stated truthfully, waiting for his reaction.

      He was quiet for a minute considering her words. "Are you sure you want to be alone?"

      "I told you I'm not sure about anything. I just feel like it would be best for me and for you. I need to sort all of this out. Let's face it, Nick, it's been a real hectic couple of days. And I haven't been alone, not even once since this all started coming down with us, LaCroix, everything," she said feeling the need to cry.

      "I thought it best that you not be left alone."

      "That's just the problem. Maybe I just need some space--something. I love you, Nick but let's face our relationship has taken a lot of sudden twists in a real short time and I need to stop the train and just take a breather--get everything into perspective before I can go on," she said looking at him with sad eyes, hoping he could understand and not come up with umpteen arguments against her wanting to do this.

      "If this is really the way you feel about this, Nat, there's nothing I can say to stop you. I will not hold you against your will. Where will you go?" he asked carefully, trying to hide the pain in his own eyes.

      "Home, my apartment."

      "But that's wrecked. You said you weren't up to facing it yet." He was puzzled, confused.

      She shook her head. "I have to face it sometime. Cleaning it will give me something to do besides just sit."

      It was his turn to shake his head. He didn't like the idea of her being alone in her apartment in her current state of mind. It was a formula for disaster. He had visions of her vamping out and not being able to control it. "Nat, you're still not stablized," he warned her.

      "I know. I'll be careful, not answer the door, stay away from the windows, drink my drink, get some sleep--all those things a good vampire on the wagon needs to do," she said half-way joking.

      "Nat, this is serious. I am responsible for you. The blood will keep down some of the urges but not all of them--the rest is going to come from learning self control. You've felt the bloodlust--what are you going to do if it hits you hard and you can't control? You're one step away from being a killer. Could you live with killing some innocent if you step over the line?" he asked, trying to get the point across of how dangerous she innately was now to other people.

      "You know I couldn't. I don't want to hurt anyone. Nick, I'll be careful--I promise."

      "I still don't like this, Nat. What if I asked Janette if she has some place you could stay--if it's me that's the problem?"

      "It's not you--at least it's not you entirely. I just don't want to be around anyone--vampire or human. I just want to be alone--period," she said with determination, her eyes flashing with strong-willed fire.

      "Okay, I won't argue with you anymore. I do want to help you clean up."

      "Nick, that's not necessary. I can do it. I need to sort through and see what I can salvage," Nat replied flatly, trying to be polite yet firm about not wanting any help or company.

      He sighed in resignation, Nat wasn't going to budge and he knew to argue with her would only get her madder. He headed the green Caddie towards her apartment. Neither felt like talking on the drive over to her apartment. They were each lost in their own thoughts.

      Nick was getting more than a little concerned with Nat's depression and distancing herself from him. That was not a good sign. She was not stabilizing as she should be. Maybe the cow's blood was not going to be enough and he was going to have to raid a blood bank for her before the blood lust rose in her and she did attack some innocent. The signs that it was becoming a problem were becoming more noticeable and he was going to have to do something quick.

      He had hoped that they could begin sorting through his journals and books to find clues for a cure. Then later in the day Nat could check with her friend in New York to see if he had anything new to report. He had even toyed with the idea of asking Nat if she would be interested in having her own lab to do her own work and experiments in. There just wasn't the equipment she needed in Forensics, nor the secrecy she needed. Maybe that would help her mood to be able to do her own hands on work. It wouldn't hurt to ask.

      "Nat, I had an idea. I don't know if you'll like it or not."

      "I won't know until you tell me," she prompted, curious now.

      Nick looked at her seriously. "What would you say to having your own lab?"

      "My what?" she asked, not sure whether she was hearing him correctly or not.

      "Your own lab with anything you want in it," he said carefully.

      She looked at him incredulously. "You're not kidding are you?"

      "No."

      "But why?"

      "Because I want to and you've been complaining about not having a real lab at work and the fear of someone discovering the non-police work you've been running through and asking questions.," he explained logically.

      "But Nick, the expense. God, it'll cost a fortune to set up a lab," she protested, slightly in shock.

      "I'm not worried. Nat, money is not a problem. I told you that. I only want to make you happy."

      "But a lab, a real working lab? Nick, I really have to think about this one," Nat said shaking her head in disbelief of his generosity.

      "I want you to. I want to do whatever it is that will make you happy because I care, because I love you," he said as they pulled up in front of her building.

      Natalie sat looking down at her hands, humbled, and embarrassed. She had been afraid that Nick didn't still care about her--boy was she wrong, she thought to herself. If anything the intensity of Nick's feelings for her were almost overwhelming--like waves that surrounded her in his love. She still didn't feel worthy of it--that was the problem--she never had. She wanted it but was afraid of having it, living up tot the responsibility of being the object of his love. She was getting serious cold feet about their relationship when she should be embracing everything wholeheartedly. Then it had always been one step forward, two steps back with them.

      Did she actually love him? Yes, every fiber of her being screamed. If what she felt for him wasn't love then what was it? She had loved him from the beginning despite her fears, the all too real danger of what he was, what he could have done to her in an instant. Her memories of that beginning were still so clear, so vivid. . . .

      In retrospect, Nick had been one hell of a birthday present on her twenty-eighth birthday. She had been only working for the Coroner's office for about nine months and she had gotten stuck working graveyard on her birthday, not that she had had any pressing plans for a big night on the town. She wasn't dating or seeing anyone and she really didn't want to. Every guy she had met had ended up being a real jerk or worse. She kept wondering where all the decent guys were hiding out. It could have been her job. Most guys either laughed or got spooked when she told them what she did for a living. Yeah, I cut up dead bodies for a living, she would tell them and they would quickly vanish out of her life.

      Despite the reactions she got to her work she liked forensics over working with live people who made demands and expected perfection out of you. Dead people didn't complain or cause you pain when you couldn't fix them. Then there was the challenge of finding a cause of death in a murder or mysterious death. She made it look easy but it took hours of careful work to find the hidden causes and to put all the physical evidence together so it did fit and the detectives who worked on the cases had something they could have hold up in court.

      Nick had come in in a body bag, nameless and without any ID, after he had intercepted a pipe bomb trying to stop a gang robbery. She found out later that he had only been in town a couple of weeks when this occurred. The assistant that brought him in was apologetic, and warned her that the victim was in a whole lot of little pieces. Phone calls and prep work kept her from immediately opening the bag so when she finally did get to she was pleasantly surprised to see that his face was intact. This was one of the ones she wished she could have had an opportunity to meet in real life--soft blond curl hair, very handsome boyish features and she bet he had blue eyes and standing up he would be at least six feet or so, sigh.. Every once in awhile good looking ones did show upon her table. This was going to be one of those ones that she really hated to cut up.

      She started to unzip the rest of the bag and the phone rang again, grumbling she went to go answer it. It was the Captain wanting to know if she had made any progress in identifying the body yet. Exasperated, she told him no and hung up the phone. She had just picked up her tape recorder to put in a new tape to record the autopsy when she heard a loud growling, snarling noise behind her. She turned and got the shock of her life when the supposed corpse sat up on her table and looked around angry and confused. Not only that he was growling, and his eyes were glowing brightly green-gold and she could swear the man had fangs. What the hell? she screamed as she quickly backed against the wall.

      Hell, even the deep, ugly, gapping cuts that she had seen on his face minutes ago were gone. There weren't even any scars to show he had been cut. This was too weird. "You were dead a minute ago!" she told the man as he focused on her. She was frightened to her very core. This couldn't be happening. The man jumped out of the bag and stood in the middle of the room warily watching her waiting to see what she was going do. Do? She was too scared to do anything but stare.

      "Who are you?" she asked, wanting some kind of explanation before she died and she felt with surety that she was going to die for having witnessed something that she shouldn't have.

      He ignored her and her questions for the moment as he found the refrigerator and the extra plasma stored in there. He took a bag of blood and opened it like he was opening a soda can. He looked almost embarrassed as he took a deep drink of it and she knew she was face to face with something that shouldn't be. "You don't need to know," he had told her truthfully, the less she knew the better for her.

      "What are you?" she asked in awe, the terror getting overridden by the fascination of him.

      He regarded her. He was bitterly amused by her questions and her lack of fear. He felt he did owe her an explanation before he either killed or made her forget what she had seen. "I am something very different from you," he told her in his deep, cultured voice with it's slight foreign accent--English maybe, but she couldn't be sure but it was a voice that she could have wanted to hear a thousand or more times. He finished the blood and threw the bag away across the floor then started walking towards her.

      She moved too, coming to meet him halfway in the center of the room, her eyes never leaving his. And they were blue-gray as she had suspected as the wildness and fear had left them to be replaced with curiosity. She sensed then that he really didn't want to hurt her but he would if he had to protect himself and his secret.

      He stated flatly: "I am a vampire."

      She had laughed in sheer disbelief, as well as relief. It couldn't be, yet what else could be the explanation for him. "A vampire?" she questioned, it was too ridiculous vampires existed only in horror novels and in the movies. There was no such thing as a real vampire? Naah, . . . couldn't be, she denied to herself.

      He confirmed her question with a simple yes as he moved closer still. The tangible power of the man was almost overwhelming, but she sensed no evil, no real danger to herself. Hidden beneath the bravo facade was a man, a man that wanted to do good, who was kind, compassionate, all those things one would call noble and outstanding like her brother Richard. But she could also sense a great sadness, and grief, and pain, long-standing pain and torment of the soul that would not go away.

      She had reached out to touch his face to see for herself that he was real and that that those deep cuts on his face had healed miraculously on their own. He caught her wrist in an iron grip stopping her from touching her unsure what her intention was. That had not dismayed or frightened her as she looked boldly into his eyes which were now regarding her with puzzlement. She looked at him as curiously, but there was also compassion, caring, and deep scientific interest as well. If he had been going to kill her, he couldn't now.

      He let her touch his face and she had remarked in awe: "You're so cold!"

      He looked at her grimly, as he held her hand to his face and rubbed against it. "I'm dead," he statedflatly waiting for her reaction.

      Her words back to him shocked him :"No, not you're not. You're not dead," she had protested, because despite all that she had seen and the coldness of his flesh there was life--abet a bit on the strange side--but life nevertheless. Because if he was walking, talking, seemingly breathing and functioning like a normal human being then somehow he was alive and she was now determined to prove to him that he was more than he even thought he was.

      Her words shocked him as had her non-typical reactions to him. He held her hand and pressed it to his cheek, feeling her warmth, the quickness of her pulse measuring it against his own, wondering if she did know something he didn't because she was so convinced that he wasn't dead, wasn't what he believed himself to be. Through her belief in him he had found a spark of hope where before there had been none and from that meeting in the morgue a bond had been forged stronger than either had realized.

      The hardest thing had been explaining away his supposedly dead body and substituting another for it. That had taken some work and a lot of fast shuffling and calling in favors to accomplish that miracle. But it had been done and the case closed without revealing his identity. She had begged off the rest of her shift and got free then they had left the morgue and she had taken him to his apartment. She had waited patiently while he changed and then they had gone to go get his car. All of it had seemed like a dream because it was all so unreal that first night. They had walked and they had talked and they had even gone into a diner so that she could get something to eat, but mainly he had talked and she had listened to his incredible tale.

      He had told her who he was and how he came to be . . . well sort of, he hadn't really told her everything, she knew he had secrets to protect and already he was jeopardizing her safety by telling him what he did, but he did tell her enough so she could understand how this had happened as he understood it. She made mental notes as to how he saw this transformation happening and how it had physically effected him. She found his claim to be eight hundred years old to be incredible but she couldn't disprove it either. To prove his claim she was going to need his cooperation and get tissue and blood samples as well as do a complete physical. She had already made her mind up to find out what he was, the scientist in her could not pass up such an opportunity and the woman in her didn't want to lose him either. He wanted to become "mortal". She wanted to see if it could be done. There were benefits to be had by both sides.

      He had asked her that first evening: "And you're not afraid?"

      "Fear is based on Ignorance. I would rather try to understand. What makes you think I can't help you?" she had asked truthfully.

      "Help me?" he had asked incredulously. "Are you serious?" he had sneered with a bitter laugh. "No one can help me," he had said with absolute certainty. "My immortality is a curse, a fall from grace . . . . Evil is a metaphysical condition," he had said coming up close behind her and touching her vulnerable neck with the tips of his fingers, letting her know that the danger from him was real, very real indeed.

      She had shivered at his touch but she ignored him, treating him like a normal man not as a real danger as he claimed to be. "You're not evil," she told him bluntly and he looked at her incredulously. "You ended up on my examination table because you tried to help someone. And your condition is a physical one," she told him with certainty.

      He was amused. "I see, . . . your specialty. And how on earth do you propose to help this eight hundred year old body, this incessant hunger for blood . . . this physical condition of mine?" he had asked, not believing that there was any hope ever for what he was.

      "I don't know. . . yet, but I'll find a way," she said determinedly and she meant it and he knew it.

      "And what is to be your reward for all this, doctor? Whatever do you expect for in return?" he had asked curious.

      "Solving a puzzle is it's own reward," she had answered not daring to say more.

      "Are you sure?" he had questioned not completely believing her, seeing other interests in him besides medical already in her eyes.

      "Oh yes," she had affirmed, lying both to him and to herself.

      Thus had gone their first meeting. They had exchanged telephone numbers and addresses and he had gotten in his car and she in hers and they had agreed to meet that night at his place after sunset and begin working on a treatment plan for his "physical condition." During the course of their conversations she had mentioned that it would be a lot easier to see him and explain his presence around the morgue if he worked nearby or was connected to her work. He had only smiled at that mysteriously. So she understandably surprised two days later when Captain Stonetree had come into her office announcing that he'd like to introduce her to their newest detective that had just transferred in from Los Angeles.

      There had been a knock on the door of her office and she had yelled "come in" as she was up to her elbows in the body cavity of the homicide victim she was dissecting. Stonetree had wandered in and following him had come her mysterious vampire dressed in a casual business suit with a police department ID tag hanging from his label. She almost dropped the heart she was holding in shock of seeing him there and then seeing the police ID.

      "Dr. Lambert, I'd like you to meet our newest member of the force, Detective Nick Knight. He'll be working homicide at night, so you two will get to see a lot of one another. I thought I'd show him around, get him used to all the department heads, etc.," Stonetree said pleasantly, wanting to get out of there as soon as possible as this was not one of his more favorite places to come especially when Nat was working on a body, which she was.

      For both their parts they acted like they had never met before this, which was hard. Nat shot him a look as Stonetree turned that asked: how the hell had he managed to pull this bit of wizardry off? Boy, did she want an explanation on this one. He just grinned back, as he extended his hand in greeting to her.

      "Nice meeting you, Dr. Lambert. I look forward to working with you," he had said pleasantly with a devilish gleam in his eyes.

      Still a little shocked, she had met his hand and shook it. "Yeah, nice meeting you too, Detective, and it ought to prove interesting," she couldn't resist commenting as she looked at him from over the dead body between them.

      "Well, Dr. Lambert, when you get through there I need the report as soon as possible. Jeffries and Schanke are waiting on it," Stonetree told getting back to business as he headed for the door.

      "Detective, are you working solo are with a partner?" she had to ask before he left.

      "Solo, I generally work solo and right now there isn't anyone available to team up with," he added. "I start tonight, so I may be seeing you later," he said with a smile as he started to leave.

      "Yeah, drop by anytime," she also added and he smiled more and then disappeared out the door leaving her feeling very puzzled and amused that he had found a way to be around--a lot.

      Later they had met over his apartment after work and he had explained that he had just come from L. A. and had been a detective there on the police department. He had moved here because he had wanted a change of pace and they had been trying to force him to work the day shift so it seemed sensible to transfer. He didn't tell her until much later that it had really been to escape LaCroix and to meet up with Janette.

      Despite her own initial doubts Nick had proved to be one hell of a detective and a real asset to the force, making some of the guys who had been on the force a long time rather jealous as he kept racking up success after success. He became Stonetree's golden haired boy, a real hot shot, but he also gained the reputation of being a real loner that kept himself very aloof and away from his fellow officers. It wasn't that they didn't try to get him to join in with them, he just wouldn't and would beg off every invitation with some pausible excuse until they finally stopped asking him. The only friendships they could even see him having were with the captain and the lady coroner and both of them seemed like he was brown nosing rather than having real relationships.

      This went on for over a year and a half with his working solo and Nat working on treatments which were finally starting to show some small measure of success. Then came the homeless killings and finally the killing of the guard at the museum which the press tagged as the "Vampire Killings", and Nick was forced to take a partner by Stonetree. Naturally he got saddled with the one that had razed and harassed him the most during his time on the Metro force--Donald Schanke, a ten year plus veteran, a good old boy--Nick's almost direct opposite. He begged, pleaded with Stonetree to please assign him to anyone else, but the Captain wouldn't budge and after they solved the case together, Nick decided that having a partner might not be a bad thing after all if he could just manage to keep Schanke from inadvertently stumbling upon his secret.

      Nat, herself, had not been too wild about Schanke becoming Nick's partner. He had always struck her as being loud mouthed, obnoxious, and very, very irritating in the past, but after he and Nick started working together her opinion mellowed as she watched the two men work together and slowly become real friends. That however, did not keep Schanke from trying to pump her for information on Nick and she wouldn't give him any. It alarmed her how close he was becoming to the truth about his partner and she warned Nick to really watch himself. Then suddenly Schanke backed off and stopped asking and things became a lot smoother between the three.

      Now they were all very intimately tied together and Schanke knew all. The burden she had carried around for the last couple of years was now his. Knowing him the way she did now she knew he would keep the trust they were both placing him, still she worried about him became of the danger from the Enforcers. Would they leave him alone? Would they trust him? She hoped so for his sake. . . .

      Nat became aware that they had stopped in front of her building and Nick was looking at her oddly. "What's wrong?" he asked, concerned.

      She shook her head. "Nothing, . . ." she said quickly. "Just remembering."

      "Remembering?" he questioned curious. His eyes begged her to go on and finally she did.

      "It's stupid, I know but I was remembering how we met and how far we have come the last years, that kind of thing," she said feeling strange telling him.

      "Oh . . . , it was a bit unusual," he grinned thinking back himself, hoping that her mood was lightening.

      He sighed in relief that there wasn't something much worse on her mind.

      "Yeah, that about describes it, though unbelievable would be more like it.. It seems like a thousand lifetimes ago and yet just yesterday. So much has happened since then, so many changes," she said with a sigh.

      "Do you regret our meeting?"

      She shook her head. "No, never. It changed my life and how I look at things. Despite everything, I wouldn't want it to be any other way."

      "Sometimes I wonder if we hadn't met then would we have still met?"

      "Who knows, probably not or we would have met under entirely different circumstances. You might not have even decided to be a cop again, true?"

      "Maybe. At the point we met I hadn't decided who I was going to be or what. Meeting you did decide me to continue being a cop. Which I do enjoy being, by the way. It's not glamorous but it's a good life."

      She smiled at that. He could be anything or anyone he wanted but he chose to be just a cop so he could help people. How many lives and identities he had, it boggled her mind to contemplate it. Yet he wanted it to end with this life, this point in time. No more man of a thousand faces, just one, his own and he wanted to share this last lifetime with her. Her, a plain, simple woman compared to all the beautiful women he had known, she still felt unworthy and probably always would.

      Sighing again she looked up at the exterior of her building, then she grew silent as she contemplated what she did want to do--go in or go back to Nick's apartment? Suddenly, she didn't feel like being alone. The minutes ticked by with only the rustle of the wind in the trees to break the quiet of the night.

      Nick shifted uncomfortably on the leather seat watching her, trying to read her, finally he asked, "do you still want to stay here alone?"

      She jumped at his voice, and shifted nervously under his watchful eyes. "Yes, no, maybe . . . frankly, Nick, I really don't know," she said throwing up her hands in frustration, unable to decide now. "But we're here. We might as well go in. I still have to see what I can salvage from that mess," she added gritting her teeth, and reaching for the door handle.

      He stopped her before she could open the door, putting his hand over hers. "Nat, I still feel that staying here by yourself is a bad idea. The vamp in you is very close to the surface. You can't see it--I can. That's what overpowered Richard's good sense. He thought he was strong enough to control it but you saw for yourself that he couldn't. I'm trying hard not to be overprotective or to make you feel hemmed in, but I don't want you to get hurt or lose yourself," he told her gently, the worry in his voice clear and strong.

      His tone stopped her more than his words did. She looked back at him from over her shoulder and saw the fear for her on his face. Nick was not given to undue worry. "Nick, is it really that bad?"

      Nick nodded growing very serious. "Yes, your control is tenuous. You should have stabilized by now but you are not. Getting upset makes it that much worse to keep the vamp under control. Nat, give it another day before you try staying by yourself. Let's go home and get some rest. You haven't been getting enough of that."

      "Maybe you're right," she agreed releasing the handle and dropping her hand in her lap. She was still feeling shaky despite the blood she had drank not that much earlier. Even she didn't feel stabilized. "I am tired, Nick," she agreed reluctantly. " Too bad there's not some kind of vampire doctor you could take me to. Take two pints of blood and see me in the dark of night," she joked.

      "Unfortunately, there is no such thing as a doctor for us since we are immune to all human diseases. This type of situation has never come up that I know of. The only solution I can think of is to "borrow"some blood from a blood bank."

      "Borrow?" she questioned. "Nick, what do your friends do on a regular basis? Supposedly no one is killing to get their daily supplements so what are they doing? I mean at the club we were getting the unleaded versions, but I'm sure there is a leaded version that the rest of the community uses."

      "I can check with Janette to see what she has in private stock. But to your question most of the community still prefers to get their blood on the hoof, mainly from transients and street people," Nick replied.

      "Oh," Nat replied in a quiet voice. "I wondered, but I was afraid to ask. So that's my choices: blood bank, asking Janette, or . . . I don't even want to think about the third. Out of those options though I'd rather ask Janette. If I was back at work there be no problem but I'm not and I really hate the idea of caving in and not being able to keep to your diet," she replied seriously, asking if this was really necessary in view of his warnings and reasons against her ingesting human blood.

      "Nat, it's like an anemic needing an iron supplement. This is a temporary not permanent solution to get you stabilized. I don't think we have a choice."

      "If you think so."

      "I do," he told her with finality and started the car again and it pulled away from the curb heading towards the Raven.

     End Forever Is A Long, Long Time: Chapters 11-15