Love You To Death
Vickey Brickle-Macky
ADULT
This is definitely a Tracy and Vachon story. The beginning started out in another story and ended up not fitting there so I made into it's own and expanded it because it was too good to throw away. While working on this I got Type O Negative's -'-October Rust'. Which is great to write romanic vampire stories to- very intense images and emotions with the music and lyrics (blame my youngest daughter she got me hooked on the group--kids keep you young). And the fragment I had started seemed to fit with the songs I was hearing especially "Love You To Death'--it seemed very Vachon. I could see him singing these words. Yes, this is definitely an adult story with explict sex, strong language and images. I had fun with this one. You have my permission to archive this at fkfanfic or where ever.
All the standrard disclaimers apply to Sony, Parriott, etc. I'm just borrowing the characters, . . .sigh. Anyway I hope you like this. All comments can be sent to phoenixstitch@zdnet.com.
Love You To Death
In Her place one hundred candles burning
Black lipstitck stains her glass of red wine
I beg to serve, your wish is my law
Let me love you too
Type O Negative
The All Blacks B.V. 1996
As salty sweat drips from her breast
Her lips move and I can feel what they are saying, swaying
They say the beast inside of me's gonna get ya, get ya, get. . .
I am your servant, may I light your cigerarette?
Those lips smooth, yeah I can feel what your saying, praying
Thet say the beast is gonna get ya, get ya, get. . .
Now close those eyes and let me love you to death
Shall I prove I mean what I'm saying, begging
I say the beast inside is gonna get ya, get ya, get. . .
Let me love you to death
Hey am I good enough for you?
Hey am I good enough for you?
Am I?
Am I?
Am I good enough for you?
(so I like morbid stuff)
Love You To Death --Part 1/5
Vickey Brickle-Macky
It was cold. It was snowing mixed with sleet and rain and it was still daylight out when Tracy went to see Vachon at the church. She knew she was nuts doing this. She was going to freeze. He had bought a heater for when she came over but most of the time he didn't turn it on because he couldn't feel the cold--lucky, she wished she didn't. She got out of her car hoping that the three layers of clothing plus her heavy coat would be enough to keep her warm long enough to talk to him without turning into an icicle.
She hadn't seen him in a couple of days and he wasn't answering his cell phone. He had gotten it so she would have to keep running over to the chruch to find him. well, she still had to keep running over to the chruch because he wouldn't answer the damn phone most of the time. It was dark inside, almost pitch black after the intense brightness of the day. It took a minute or two for her eyes to adjust to the dimness. She knew he was home. She could feel it. They had gotten closer over the eight months they had known each other and she had developed a sixth sense of his presence. At least he couldn't sneak up behind her and scare her anymore. He loved doing that. He was now very puzzled that it didn't work anymore and had given it up as a lost cause much to her relief.
She walked up the steps to the alcove where he usually slept and looked around and shook her head. The man was a slob as she began automatically picking up his discarded clothes from the floor and furniture. She saw an empty box to use as a laundry hamper and tossed them in. The empty green bottles that were everwhere she put in another box. At least one could find the floor and furniture again, she thought as she traveled back to where his bed was. He was there dead to the world, in more ways than one she thought looking at him.
He was sprawled out on his back with a thin sheet barely covering the lower part of his obviously naked body. His long dark curly hair fanned out on his pillows. Tracy noted that he was letting his beard grow out for the winter, saying it was to hard to shave with ice water and not worth the hassle. The dark chest hair that trailed down his body constrased sharply against his pale albaster skin. She drank in the sight of his compact muscled body, wondering what his bare arms would feel like against her own skin. God, he was gorgeous, Tracy thought as she stood there in the doorway and debated whether to wake him or not.
He stirred in his sleep and began to talk, mumbling at first then clearer. She raised an eyebrow and smiled. Some of it was in Spainish, but most of it was in English as she caught her name. He was dreaming about her. So vampires did dream, she had wondered. And whatever it was about it was evidently very erotic from his words and his movements, and the rising of the sheet in a certain area of his anatomy. She found herself flushing red and getting embarrassed. She really shouldn't be her she thought to herself as she started to back away and leave quietly before he woke up. Then she heard him call out, "Trace, don't go. Please don't go."
As far as she could tell he was still sleeping. but he was definitely restless as his arms reached out and grabbed one of the pillows and clutched it tightly to his chest. Oh, really, she thought watching him and getting a real good idea of what his dream was like. So that's what he'd really like to do, she smiled as wished she was that pillow and what it would be like to lay there in the circle of his arms. Ohh, she wanted to be that pillow, but she knew it would never happen.
They really hadn't talked about their relationship. It was one of those things that lay unspoken between them. Everything was kept at friendship--good buddy levels for her safety she supposed. She knew what she was dealing with on many levels and on others she had not clue and wondered if she really wanted to know. Most of the time Vachon was like dealing with a normal, if slightly dangerous guy that wanted to take risks and do things she would never have dreamed doing. He made life more than interesting, because he was her life, now that she could finally admit it to herself. But how he felt about her, really felt she couldn't tell half the time.
That was one of the reason she had come here earlier than normal, before he had a chance to escape into the night. They were going to talk this time and he wasn't going to hedge out of it like he usually did. It was at least an hour until sunset so there was no way he could run.
Making up her mind Tracy left the doorway and went and sat on the bed. Vachon's eyes sprang open instantly in alarm, turning gold, and then they turned back to brown as he focused on her in shock. "Tracy??" he sputtered, more than a little surprised to see her. "What are you doing here?" he asked, covering himself a little better, being very aware he was naked.
She almost hestitated, wondering now that she had him awake if this was good idea. But it was now or never. "I wanted. . . I wanted to talk to you . . .about us," she said almost losing her nerve
"Us? As in you and me--that kind of us?" he asked, getting wary and wishing she wasn't between him and his pants on the floor. She had him trapped and knew it. He could just get up and put them on but that might make the situation more difficult so he decided to say put and see what was on her mind.
She nodded. "Right," she told him bluntly and saw him getting worried while he casually tried to lean up against the headboard since he was now fully awake and sitting up now.
"I see. And what brought this on?" he asked, putting his hands behind his head as he regarded her and listened to her racing heart.
"Last night when you started kissing me and we were both getting into and then suddenly you took off as if you'd been burnt," she told him.
He looked embarrassed. "Yeah, sorry about that. It was getting a bit more intense than I had planned. So I split," he told her, figuring that would cover it--he underestimated her.
"Planned? Huh? Explain." she asked pinning him with a look. The same kind of look she gave suspects when she was questioning them, he knew he was in trouble.
He ducked his head and looked embarassed, "ahh, wrong choice of words. It wasn't planned. I just wanted to kiss you, but it was starting to get out of hand," he explained, leaving what else he had wanted to do to her out.
She raised an eyebrow, the detective in her seeing behind the words he wasn't saying. 'Okay, he was interested, and secondly, he did or at least had thought of wanting to go beyond their just friends status--she decided to persue this line of questioning. "And that's a bad thing?"
"For us--yes," he said seriously, hoping he could get her to understand without hurting her feelings. "There a slight difference in species, Trace. I don't want to lose control--hurt you and I could. You know that."
"But you haven't lost control in all the time we've known one another," she protested, holding her ground on this point.
He looked at her sadly as if she couldn't be that dense. "Yeah, because I've been very, very careful that's why."
"Ohh," was all she come back with, a little disappointed. She looked down at her hands in her lap wondering what to say now.
"Trace, I'm careful because I care about you," he said, hoping that would fix it.
She looked up from under her bangs at him, trying to read him, understand exactly what he meant by those words. "Just friends, huh?"
"Yeah," he said with a twinge of sorrow in his tone.
"Then why doesn't it feel like its just friends between you and me anymore and when you kiss me?" she asked, pushing it a little further.
That took him aback for a moment. "Because it can't go beyond that. I can't let it. Trace, I wish . . ," he trailed off not wanting to say more.
"Yeah me too," she told him, surprising him with her boldness, and the look in her eyes, the longing, the hunger, the wanting of much more. It was making him nervous. "Have you ever gotten close to a mortal without killing them?" she asked suddenly.
He really looked at her hard, knowing exactly what she was asking. "A couple of times, but it ended up with me walking away before I did hurt them. This is as long as I've ever hung around, so maybe I've learned more self control but it's still not enough and you don't want to cross over," he stated with no recrimination.
"No, I don't think so," she answered slowly. It wasn't that she hadn't thought about, and wondered what it might be like but she wasn't ready to give up the sun, but she didn't want to give up him either. "So we're stuck as friends or nothing?" she asked finally, wanting an answer.
Vachon sighed sadly. "Yeah, that about sizes it up. I'm sorry, Trace. I can't let it be any other way."
She nodded fighting back the tears. "Okay, I got my answer. I'd better go," she said and got up hurriedly, and then practically ran out of the church.
Vachon heard her crying as she left but he couldn't go to her and tell her it was going to be okay, because he wasn't sure it would be himself. He hit the pillow hard with his fist in fustration almost causing it to burst. Damn, why did it always have to get so complicated with her? Why did he have to feel the way he did about her and have to hide it? He wanted her as bad as he sensed she did him. If he had been mortal they would have been in bed long before this. It was getting harder and harder for him to just to kiss her and keep his hands to himself. Her scent of apricots and callilies drove him up the wall. He wanted to taste her blood, her life, her essence, feel her warm flesh next to his cold one. In his mind he had imagines what being inside of her would be like, but he also respected and cared for her too much to treat her like a common whore. She was too special, too precious to him, her light brightend up his darkness.
Being with her when he could made him happy, and it had been a very long time since he had been this happy. Even Urs had never made him feel this way. Screed thought he was off his rocker in more ways than one and the cartouche had told him repeatedly that he ought to do something because he was driving him bonkers with his love-sickness as he called it. Urs was just flat disgusted and not more than a bit jealous over Tracy. Then there was Knight and LaCroix those two were staying his fangs and his limbo quite effectively. Tracy still doidn't know about her partner being a vampire and she didn't know that LaCroix had also taken a liking to her and had her under his 'protection.' He had been told in no uncertain terms what would happen to him if he touched Tracy in anyway--even if it was her idea. Being gilded and staked were two things he wanted to avoid.
He had thought of moving on and had actually took off a couple of times but he couldn't stay away. He needed her, had to see her, be around her no matter what the cost emotionally or physically to him. Their conversation bothered him a lot. She was as fustrated as he was with the status quo, but he had to maintain it or else. There wasn't any other choice--was there? So far he had managed to keep his bloodlust and passion in check, which surprised even himself at times.
Could he keep doing it if he let himself go further than he had dared so far? He didn't know. The only thing he knew was that he wanted her as much as she wanted him, he could taste it, feel it every time he was near her or kissed her lips. Those lips full of sunshine, warmth, love and longing for him. That he knew, and it scared and humbled him at the same time it made him feel on top of the world that she loved him.
He still wasn't sure whether he had screwed up by telling her what he had for her own good. Her tears and sadness were really getting to him. He could either let it go and get worse between them or he's have to fix it somehow.Tonight was her night off. he had remembered her mentioning it last night, maybe he should bite the bullet and go apologize to her. Take her to a movie, something. Any other woman being mad at him was no big deal, but it got to him when Tracy was mad to him. With rough plans for the evening starting to formulate in his head he got up and went in search of a bottle.
Part 2/5
Two hours later he showed up at her door dressed in one of his better shirts, a sports jacket and clean dress jeans. His usually tangled mass of hair was brushed. He looked semi-respectable for a change. He had even brought her flowers and a bottle of wine. His own emergency refreshments were in a silver flask in his back pocket. Mustering his courage he knocked on the door. After a minute of knocking she finally came to the door--she was dressed to go out. Not just dressed but very dressed in an elegant dark blue floor length silky gown that molded to her body, bared one shoulder and showed plenty of cleavage as well as a bare back. Her hair was upswept into curls on top of her head. He stood there looking at her open mouthed.She was beyond beautiful to him.
Trace,
These flowers are to apologize for my harsh words today. They remind me of how you smell to me--of apricots and calli lilies, sunshine and morning rain. Your smile lights up my dark nights and yours eyes remind me of the sky I will never see again. Your warmth and caring has touched deep places in me, making me feel alive once again. . . making me wish for impossible things. And there are so many things I wish I could say to you, to tell you how I feel, and how much you mean to me. You mean more to me than you should. I wish we could go beyond just friendship. I want to, I dream about it, but I also fear for you and the danger of letting go and yet I can't let you go from my life either. I don't know what to do about this anymore than you do, we just have to be patient and see what happens.
Sincerely,
Tracy sat there stunned holding the note in her hands. Now she had no doubts in her mind as to how he felt. He hadn't come right out and said he loved her but it was plain by his words and his actions and she had been a fool not to see it. And what had she done--made the situation worse. She had to find him and really get this hashed out. She doubted that he had gone home. The most likely place would be that club, the Raven. She grabbed her coat and purse and headed for her car as fast as she could go.
Vachon landed in the alley outside the Raven and walked around front. The doorman saw his dark and dangerous mood and let him pass without a word. It was a week night and not very crowded with it's ususal mix of vampires and mortals. He sat down at the bar in a very grim and dark mood. Miklos set a drink down and vanished to the other end of the bar. He didn't want to know.
Part 3/5
Vachon had looked up when Urs' warning had penetrated his fog and saw that Urs wasn't putting him on--Tracy was there, and apparently alone. He mumbled, "ohh shit! What the hell does she want now?" under his breath. He braced himself being both glad and mad to see her, plus a little bit unsure what to say to her now. His carefully rehearsed speech of earlier had gone by the wayside when he had seen she was going out and not with him.
Part 4/5
Vachon was trying his damnest not to burst out laughing as they left the club. He had never seen Knight so much at a loss for words and he really hadn't expected Tracy to stick up for him the way she had. They reached her car, she had been muttered under her breath the entire time about Knight, her father and people not minding their own business. She leaned against the car door shivering and he helped her on with her coat.
Vachon flew to the church, his mind a swirl of conflicting emotions. This was going a bit faster then he had planned. He was the one getting cold feet. It wasn't that he didn't want Tracy. Damn, how he wanted her. He had been going through eight months of physical, sexual, and other kinds of torture every time he spent any time with her. He was more than ready to jump in bed with her, but he was scared to death too which was saying a lot for a vampire. If he didn't care about her, really care about her there wouldn't be this problem--this conflict in his mind. Like Screed would say 'just do the the deed'--but he couldn't--not her, not his golden Tracy. But he had promised her he wouldn't get cold feet. He felt really trapped now between wanting this and not wanting this. Ordinarily the easiest solution would have been to just take off for a couple of days and think about it. That just wasn't an option--he had to face this head on--somehow.
Part 5/5
Vachon landed lightly on the sidewalk outside her apartment building. Steeling his nerves he went in and knocked. Tracy was wearing a robe when she opened the door. "Hi, you did come back. I wasn't sure you would," she said nervously as he came in.
End of Love You To Death Part 5/5
"Trace?" he managed to squeak out, looking her up and down, astoundished by the transformation of his usually tomboyish friend into a stunning sex goddess.
"Ahh hi, Vachon," she said nervously, taking in his suit, and the flowers while she put on her earring. She had expected her date. What was she going to do with Vachon who had obviously come by to apologize and maybe take her somewhere?
"You look fantastic, Tracy," he finally managed to say keeping his eyes above chin level. "Going somewhere?" he asked, stating the obvivous.
"I have a date. An old friend asked me out," she replied, biting her lip nervously.
He looked at her crestfallen. "Ohh," he said keeping his disappointment out of his voice. Regaining his composure he handed her the calli lilies and the wine. "I brought you these. I wanted to apologize for what I said eariler. I was just waking up and you caught me by surprise."
Suddenly she didn't realy want to go out with Larry, a friend of a friend from college. She wanted to be with Vachon and she knew if she went on this 'date' it would be a disaster. Going back inside she went to the phone and cancelled her date, telling him she wasn't feeling well. As she was putting the sweet smell flowers into a vase she saw the card. She had noticed it before and opened it.
J
After downing half the glass Vachon finally turned around on his barstool to check out the crowd. Urs was dancing and nodded in his direction to let him know she had seen him and would join him after her set was through. He nodded back and turned back to the bar to finish his drink and to get another one. As he was taking a another sip he felt soft cool hands on his cheek and knew Urs had joined him.
"You're dressed up," she commented sliding onto the bar stool next to him, a silky robe covering her skimpy costume.
"Yeah, lot of good it did me," he grumbled motioning Mikos to bring him another round.
"You got turned down?" she asking hiding her smile and look of i told you so.
"Yeah, before I could even ask. 'She" had a 'date'," he said disgustedly, not meeting her eyes.
"The mortal girl--Tracy?" Urs asked, knowing exactly who had her master upset, but wanting to verify it anyway.
"Yeah," he grouched, wondering if coming the club had been a mistake. "We had sort of a fight earlier today and I went to go apologize to her, but when I got there she was all dressed up to go out somewhere with somebody," he said unhappily, taking a big swallow of his drink.
"A mortal?"
He shrugged as if it didn't matter, "probably. Now I'm feeling like a jerk for going over there. I should have left things lie. But she started it."
Urs had sided up closer to him, and was playing with the collar of his shirt. He was ignoring her. "Started what?" she asked, kissing his ear.
"Asking me how I felt about her," he admitted. "She woke me out of a sound sleep. She shouldn't have expected me to me reasonable or even coherent before sundown," he grumbled.
Urs raised an amused eyebrow, and stifled a giggle of amusement. "Tracy came to see you at the church?"
"Yeah, I was in bed and I couldn't get up. She sort of had me trapped," he confessed, looking at the bar. he didn't want to see her laughing at him.
Urs laughed now knowing how he usually slept. If it had been her it wouldn't have bothered him, but the mortal girl was a completely different thing. "Poor baby," she told him, ruffling his hair, and kissing him on the check. She was hanging all over him now, but he wasn't noticing.
He went on ignoring her, his mood getting darker. "I never should have gotten involved with a mortal. It's all Knight's doing. I should have taken off like I started to and stayed gone," he grumbled some more and asked for a refil again.
"But you didn't. You're still here and still hanging around her. Knowing you, I'm surprised you haven't done anything. That's she's still walking around untouched, or you haven't brought her over--I'm really surprised. You've never acted like this before. I expected this little flirtation of yours to last a month or two at most, and what is it eight months? That's a record for you. You must really have a thing for her," she said knowingly, looking at his guilty reaction to her words.
Vachon didn't bother to answer her, he couldn't. It was completely unlike him to act like this towards a mortal. If Urs wasn't his they would have probably parted company a long time ago. But he was her master and was responsible for her. Plus she knew him like no other woman did, but only so far. There were parts of him he wouldn't let her see or get near. Just like Tracy. But Tracy had gotten under his skin more than Urs could even dream and that was really starting to bother him.
Finally he answered her. Vachon knew if he didn't she'd keep nagging him until he did or he split. "Okay, I have a thing for her. I admit it. You happy now?" he asked angrily, stirring his drink with it's little pink paper umbrella.
"Serious thing?" she asked her eyes narrowing.
"I dunno. I want her but I can't have her. That's a real first for me. I touch her and Knight will have my hide"
"I thought you said Knight didn't bother you," she quirked an eyebrow. "Sounds like an excuse. What does she want?" Urs asked.
He shrugged. "I'm not sure--yeah I'm sure," he said looking skyward, he knew exactly what Tracy wanted and he wanted the same damn thing. "But she doesn't want to join the club. And I don't think I can control it," he admitted.
"That does sound like a problem, but you do have control."
He shook his head, "barely around her. It's getting harder, not easier. I made the mistake of really kissing her and almost lost it. I ran. I didn't expect her to track me down and want to talk about it," he said in esperation.
"Modern girls do that--women's liberation and all that. Look at the mortal girls here. They are all like that. Times change, people change, and we have to change and adjust to fit in," Urs reminded him, tracing a finger down his ear and cheek.
"I know. It still boils down to I don't know how to deal with her," he said.
Urs looked up from his shoulder to see a very dressed up Tracy heading their way. "Well, you better figure out something because she's here," Urs warned him sitting up hurriedly and getting away from Vachon. She had seen the mortal frowning at her being draped all over Vachon. She decided that she really didn't want to get into an arguement with Tracy so she got up hurriedly and left.
Tracy approached him cautiously. She noted the glass in his hand and the way he was looking at her. He had been drinking, and heavily too, by the looks of him. She began to think this was a big mistake. But he had seen her and knew she was there. His eyes were really taking in her outfit. It was not the carefully contolled appreciation of earlier, the naked hunger and longing was very apparent in his dark eyes. He really liked what he saw and wanted it--wanted it bad. Of course he wasn't the only one as Tracy heard wolf whistles and 'ohh, baby ohh's' behind her from the male populace.
"Tracy," he said trying to keep the apprehension out of his voice as he sort of a welcomed her, wondering what she was doing here and patted the barstool next to him that Urs had vacated, indicating he wanted her to sit.
She came over carefully, her breasts almost brushing his face as she scooted past him as he had turned on his stool to face her before she could sit down. He grinned and almost bit her, and she almost swatted him but cooled it as she saw that he was very drunk and getting playful. 'oh great, that's all I need is a drunken vampire,' she thought as she sat down and turned to the bar ignoring Vachon's leering.
"A Kalula and creme," she ordered and Mikos brought it to her and ignored her money mouthing that it was on the house. She just nodded thanks and took her first sip very conscious of how Javier was staring at her.
"What happened to your date?" he asked bluntly, trying to figure out what she was up to. and why she was here, not that he really minded her being here. He was slightly disappointed that he wasn't going to have to go do something about her date as he had planned, oh well, he sighed and took another sip of his drink as he listened to Tracy.
"I told him I had a headache. I didn't want to go out with him. I got your note," she said as if that explained everything.
"I see and that's supposed to mean?" he asked pretending not to be interested.
"I broke off my date before I saw the note. After you left I felt awful. You brought me flowers, wine and came to apologize. I just couldn't go out with Larry," she explained, having a hard time looking at him.
"Larry, huh? Mortal?"
"Yes, a friend of a friend. He had tickets for the symphony. No big deal."
"Pretty dressed up for no big deal," he commented, licking his lips suggestively as he looked her up and down once again, making her blush.
She took a deep breath, tying to keep her patience and dignity as she explained. "My dad was going to be there too. He wanted to show me off to his buddies," she told him.
"Ohh. So why did you come here?" he asked, wanting her to squirm for making him hurt, but he also wanted to know why she had come and what she really wanted.
"To find you. I thought you'd be here. I came to apologize for everything today starting with waking you up this afternoon. I had no right to ask you what I did," she said avoiding his eyes.
You had every right to," he replied his tone softening. "You also deserved answers too. And you didn't get them."
But you did answer me," Tracy protested, looking at him and meeting his eyes. "You made it very clear that nothing could happen between us."
He sighed and shook his head. She had him dead the rights on that one. He wasn't sure what to say back to her. He just wished she didn't have to look so drop dead gorgeous tonight. She was making it very hard on him to keep his thoughts together as he looked at her long exposed neck and creamy white bare shoulder, wanting to kiss it, lick it, and taste her warm skin and blood.. Her musky perfume was accenting her own unique scent and was driving him up the wall. "You know why? You think it's not bothering me you sitting here looking the way you are tonight?" he asked her bluntly. "You're driving me up the wall, girl. But I don't dare touch you because if I did I don't think I could stop. Even this afternoon you were getting to me--do you understand what I'm saying?"
She nodded, a little frightened now. "But I want you to touch me," she admitted.
He rolled his eyes upward for strength and grabbed the bar, his nails digging in and leaving grooves in the old polished wood. He did not need to hear that. "Merida," he said under his breath, "give me strength," he pleaded. "Trace, . . .ohh fuck it! Knight be damned!" he said, as he turned around and grabbed her and kissed her hard on the lips before he lost his courage.
Tracy melted into his kiss as she wrapped her arms around his neck and felt herself moving off the barstool to press her body tightly against his. They ignored the catcalls and 'go for it man' remarks around them as their kiss deepened. A tap on his shoulder and loud throat clearing behind them finally brought them both up for air.
It was Nick scrowling angruly as he looked down at them and their very public display of affection. Natalie was beside him looking very amused with a big grin on her face. "And what is going on?" Nick asked, demanding an explaination.
Tracy and Vachon hadn't moved apart that much, their arms still locked around each other as they both looked up at him annoyed. "What does it look like?" Vachon asked, meeting his look and not backing off.
"You were kissing?"
"So, what's your point?" Vachon asked seriously, wanting to get back to what he had been doing before they had been interupted.
"You know damn well what my point is, Vachon?" Nick said angrily. "We had an agreement."
"Yes, we did. Things have changed," Vachon replied defensively, releasing Tracy. She sat down on the stool and he took a step forward to look up at Nick. He crossed his arms across his chest waiting.
"Oh, How?" Nick asked getting angry, taking a step forward too, his fists clenched at his sides while Natalie grabbed hold of Nick's coat sleeve to pull him back just in case.
"That hasn't been decided yet. We were discussing it when you interrupted.," Vachon told him, wishing the older vampire would leave.
"I think the discussion is ended," Nick said firmly looking at both of them.
Tracy looked at Nick and saw red. "Excuse me 'partner'. This does not concern you. You are not my dad. And who I go out with or kiss is not your concern!" she told him in no uncertain terms.
He looked at her shocked. "But Tracy he's a . . .," Nick started to say.
"Yeah, I know he's a vampire, and so are you--big deal!" she shot back and Nick looked like he had been hit over the head. He stood there sputtering, at a loss for words as to what to say to his partner. Tracy saw her opening and took it. "So if you will excuse us," she said grabbing her coat in one arm and Vachon in the other as they scooted around Nick and Nat and left with Nick just staring opened mouthed after them wanting to say something but he couldn't, while Nat led him over to a table to sit down.
"Thanks," she said looking at him. "I'm going to have hell to pay, you know. But it was worth it seeing the look of Nick's face when I told him he was a vampire and to butt out," she smiled, not too unset with her performance.
"You haven't told him you knew all this time?" Vachon asked her trying to get his laughter under control.
She shook her head, grinning,"nope. I just been waiting to see how long it was going to take him to tell me. How dense does he think I am when I hang out with you and Urs and Screed? God, he's not too bright sometimes,' she said shaking her head. "I was beginning to think the whole group of you were."
"Huh?" he asked really puzzled.
"You couldn't tell how I felt about you until I said something?" she asked seriously, looking up at him as she pulled her thin coat closer around her for warmth. Standing outside in twenty degree weather was not great for long conversations, she thought shivering.
He looked down at his feet. "I knew. I just didn't know what to do about it. I still don't," he admitted meeting her eyes. There were pain and uncertainty in those dark depths as well as fear.
Tracy didn't want to see his fears as she went on, "you sure looked like you did in there."
He was embarrassed now. 'Spur of the moment. Impulse," he said trying to get out of it. He knew he could expect a visit from Knight tonight or tomorrow.
She was exasperated. "Bull! Don't give that to me, Vachon! You kissed me and you meant it. And you enjoyed it, admit it," she taunted him talking a step towards him.
He quirked an eyebrow at her. Hell, yes, he enjoyed it. He had hated being interrupted as much as she had, but that threw them back to their not so little problem. "Yes, I enjoyed it, Tracy. I may be dead, but I ain't that dead," he shot back, wary now as she approached him.
I definitely know that, Javier," she said, her voice almost purring his name, standing toe to toe with him, and touching his chest with her hand, her fingers tracing lazy circles across the smooth surface, arousing feelings he'd rather keep down at the moment.
He looked down at her hand, then grasped her warm one with his cold one, removing it from his chest. "Trace, you're messing with fire and fire can kill you," he warned.
"I know, but it can't go on like this. It's killing both of us."
"Yeah, but better that than me really killing you," he told her truthfully, hoping she'd quit, yet not wanting her to.
"I don't think you will. I trust you. I think you care enough about me that you won't hurt me," she said sincerely looking in his dark eyes and seeing that he was overwhelmed by her belief in him.
That staggered him, the level of trust she had in him. "That's a heavy load to put on me. You trust me that much?" he asked not believing she could trust him. No one had before like she did now.
She met his eyes, not backing down. "Yes. I always have from the first night we met. Sure you scare the hell out of me at times, but I know you won't hurt me."
"And what if I can't control it--the vampire--what then? I don't want you to die. Are you willing to come across? Trace, I'm going to bite you--I won't be able to help myself. For me it's part of sex. Are you going to freak if you feel fangs on your neck?" he asked her deadily serious, as he searched her eyes for clues as to what she was feeling.
She was frightened. Vachon could hear it in her racing heart and in the way her hand trembled in his, but she was also determined and she wanted him. This things were clear in the way she looked at him and stood, refusing to back down.
Tracy shrugged, answering him, "I don't know. I won't know until it happens. As to coming over, if you have no other choice--then yes. I rather cross over than be really dead," she said meeting his eyes and he knew she was very serious and this was not a whim. She was for real.
"Okay, Trace," he agreed reluctantly. "But once we cross this line there's no turning back. Be sure." he asked, warning her, feeling sacred to death now that all his dreams and fantasies were going to come true.
"I am. I want you-- Javier, the man and the vampire. I'm not afraid. I love you too much. We have to try this."
"I love you too, Trace," he admitted, touching her cheek. "I know we have to try this. It is killing both of us, but if you decide to back out I will understand," he told her giving her an out if she wanted it.
She shook her head and looked at him determinely, "no backing out. We go for broke. All the way."
"Okay, all the way," he said resigned and just a little sad as he kissed her sealing his commitment to her.
She threw her arms around him and kissed him hard, and he remembered what all the discussion had been about. Oh, yeah, he thought as he deepened their kiss and ran his hand down her backside and grabbing her rear hard, he pulled her tight against him. Her coat fell open and her body pressed against his and all his reservations fell to the wayside as her warm blood and luscious body intoxicated him.
"My place or yours?" he finally managed to ask as he tamped down both the rising beast and his own body's reactions to her.
"Mine--it's got heat, yours doesn't," she smiled stepping out his arms and getting her keys out of her coat pocket.
"Good point," he grinned. "But I got to get something before what ever happens happens. I have to make a run by my place first. I guess I'll meet you over at yours," he said, not wanting to leave her but having to if she was going to survive his lovemaking.
Tracy was a little puzzled, "okay, I guess," she replied not understanding what was so important at the chruch.
Vachon saw her puzzlement. He knew he had to explain. "Trace, if we are going to do this. The safest thing is for me to really feed beforehand and bring some over just in case. Understand?"
She nodded fully comprehending what he was saying and relieved at the same time. She had thought about it but wasn't sure how to suggest the same thing, "okay, I'll meet you there," she said and kissed him gently on the lips which he returned. "Just don't you chicken out," she warned him releasing him.
"I don't think so," he replied with a devilish grin, still feeling her lips on his. "I'm off now," he said as he leaped up into the air and took off.
Tracy watched him disappear and then got into her car and made her way towards home.
He went into the church to his stash of bottle and opened one drinking heavily, a second one followed that and part of a third. He pick four more up and put them in a bg along with some semi-clean clothes. He looked around wishing that if this was going to be happening it could be on his turf as it was he was going to be trapped at her place for the day, and that made him a bit nervous. But he had crashed there before so it wasn'r such a big deal as it had been. Finally with a heavy sigh he left and flew back to her place.
"I made a promise," he said as he sat the bag down on the floor by the couch.
"I know. Maybe I shouldn't have made you," she said worriedly, not meeting his eyes.
"It's okay, Trace, really," Vachon replied facing her. "You never make me do something I don't want to do," he said with a smile, hearing her heart racing and how nervous she was now that it was down to the line for both of them.
"So," she said nerviously, watching him and beginning to pace. "Do you want me to put some music on?" she asked heading towards her CDs.
He grinned watching her. "That would be cool," he replied, sitting down on the couch enjoying the view of her rear in the silky polyester robe as she bent over looking through her collection. She was getting his interest.
"I just got this. I hope you like it," Tracy said sticking a CD in and pushing the play button. Soon intense but powerful yet poignant music and lyrics filled the room.
Vachon listened with interest to the music. The rhythms were the kind that wrapped around one's senses. "Not bad. I like it," he said as Tracy sat down next to him. Close but not too close, and held her hands nervously in her lap.
"It reminded me of you when I heard it," she said with a slight smile.
He raised a dark eyebrow and looked at her, "Me?" he asked,curious now, listening more closely and understanding through the words and images what she saw as well. He grinned evily, "you afraid that 'the beast is gonna get ya', Trace? That I might 'love you to death'?" he teased, looking at her, his brown eyes warm and smoldering, peering into her very soul with his hunger, his want and his desire for her.
She blushed hotly, and couldn't say a word as she looked into the dark depths of his eyes. Vachon's hand had moved to her shoulder, his fingers lightly touching her pale silken hair sending shivers down her. Then he leaned forward his other hand touching her cheek, and tracing the line of her jaw and moving to outline her lips. Her blue eyes were wide as she watched him come closer to brush his cool lips against hers. Her eyes closed in enjoyment of the sweetness of it. He was being tender and gentle, wanting her to relax, wanting her to enjoy this. He deepened his kiss ever so gradually, his hand behind her tangling in her hair drawing her closer to him as his hand sought her waist and pulled her willing body to his, while her arms encircled his neck. His tongue sought hers and she opened her mouth willing to his invasion. She had been kissed but never like this as her own tongue explored his mouth and she ran her tongue across his canines, avoiding getting cut on their sharp points, making him moan and shiver as she got bolder.
Vachon's hands wandered across her body feeling her curves, seeking her breasts. His hands slid under her robe to the sheer white nightgown she wore underneath. His cool hands meeting her warm flesh, feeling her heat and the fast beating of her heart underneath his exploring fingers. Her nipples stiffened underneath his hands and he left her warm lips, trailing cool kisses down her neck and shoulder to take the rosy points into his mouth with his lips and mouth, his tongue drawing lazy circles around their senstive tips. Tracy let out something between a groan and a sigh and he grinned, increasing his efforts as one hand explored lower between her legs. Already she was hot, but he made her hotter still as his hand slid under her gown and traveled across her thighs to her bare hips and crouch, his hand lightly brushed across her pale curls. She gasped and moaned his name as he played with her hidden treasures, dipping into her wet inner reaches, making her move against his hand, lost in all the sensations his touches were invoking.
"Vachon, . . Javier,. . .god," she gasped, her face buried in his neck, kissing him while her hands undid his shirt and touched his chest, running her fingers across the muscled contours of his chest and shoulders. Then she pilled his shirt loose from his pants as she undid the button on his jeans and unzipped his pants, her hand seeking his hardness and finding him. She was not surprised he wasn't circumsised and already she was imagining him inside of her. Her touches on his cool flesh was now making him gasp as she touched him and pulled him free, stroking his length, arousing him even more.
Despite their heated explorations the vampire was still held in check, his dark eyes were flecked with gold, but this time was different for him. This was 'his' Tracy, and all he wanted to do was love her and be loved in return. He leaned her back against the cushions as he struggled out of his shirt and pants, then removed her robe and nightgown before she could protest. He lay on top of her, his cool body pressed against her heated one and he kissed her again "We can stop at any time, Trace," he said his voice husky as he looked at her from under tangled dark locks, his eyes meeting her blue passion filled ones.
"No, don't stop, Javier. Don't ever stop," she whispered, looking at him with complete love and trust in her eyes. "I love you . . .I want this," she told him, meaning this.
"I do too, Trace. I love you, too," he admitted to her and to himself as her looked down at her flushed face, her love and acceptance of all he was both good and bad plain of her face. And for once he was not afraid, and he knew they were doing the right thing, that their making love, consumating their love was the right thing, the only thing.
He kissed her passion swolled lips once again and then deepened it, losing himself in the sweetness of her love, her scent, and warmness surrounding him, calling him to know every part of her. His kisses and hands trailed down her body, exciting her once again, as he kissed her breasts, then her belly, and his head went between her legs, inhaling her musky scent. She gasped and moaned as his tongue flicked out and touched her sensitive flesh, exploring, probing, teasing as she cried out his name lost in what he was doing to her. He tasted her salty, sweet essence as she came, making him hungry for more, hungry to feel her softness wrapped around him.
She was more than ready when he entered her, his coldness lost in her warmth. She wrapped her arms around him, holding him, wanting him deeper inside of her as he plunged into her very core. Her legs wrapped around his waist, letting him go deeper still. as he moved slowly inside her, letting it build for both of them. As they climbed higher and higher, he could feel the beast rising as well, his eyes glowing green gold, his fangs descending, dripping, hungry for her blood, her life. Vachon fought it, but then let it be a part of the passion and love he felt towards her as he neared his climax and hers. When he could hold it back no longer he scramed,"Tracy, forgive me!" and sank his fangs into her neck as he came like searing icy fire inside of her, taking her blood as his essence blasted into her. He felt her come with him, her nails biting into his back with the intensity of rheir shared climax.
Her blood was everything he had thought it would be, a sweet nectar, a sweet addiction, apricots and summer skies, children laughing, all things bright and beautiful. Her memories, her hopes, her fears, her dreams, and most of al her overpowering love for him, and her absolute innocent trust and belief in him. He saw himself through her eyes, her dark angel, who made everything right with her world, the man who took her fears and tears away, the man who meant everything to her, and he was humbled and awed at the intensity of her love for him. He withdrew his fangs, hoping he had not taken too much, and looked down at her in wonder. He could feel her steady heartbeat. She was still alive. He had not drained her, he was relieved as he kissed her sweat beaded forehead. Tracy opened her eyes and looked up at him dazed but happy.
"I'm not dead?" she asked, still a little dazed, enjoying the afterglow as much as him.
"No," he smiled. "You're very much alive," he reassurred her, kissing her cheek.
"I told you, you could do it," she smiled up at him, feeling very bubbly and happy.
He grinned, "yeah, you did. You believed in me--in us. I could have lost control," he reminded her.
"But you didn't. That's all that counts," she said her eyes shining as she brushed his damp hair back from his face, and he kissed the palm of her hand as he regarded her tenderly.
"Thank you for believing in me," Vachon said sincerely. "I love you, Tracy Vetter, " he added kissing her before he withdrew and moved off of her and looked down. "Don't move," he told her going to the bathroom and getting a towel.
"Ohh," she said looking down, trying not to freak at the blood. She took the towel gratefully and got up. "A shower is definitely in order," she added calmly, relieved her couch had not been damaged.
He saw her look. "I should have warned you. Sleeping with a vampire you get blood."
"Yeah, I get the point," she agreed, not mad, but mentally she was thinking she was really going to have to invest in lots of dark sheets. Smiling, Tracy took his hand, "come on. I need you to wash my back."
Vachon looked up at her with interest, his mouth breaking into a broad grin, and followed her very willingly into the bathroom. He didn't know where their relationship was going to go that was something that only time could tell. But they had made a beginning this night. And from her reactions and the contentment he felt from her she was not going to be ending it anytime soon.
He had accomplished the seemingly impossible--they had made love without him killing her. After this he didn't think he'd have any more problems with control. Maybe he should think of giving Knight pointers, he thought wickedly as he stepped into the shower with his lady love and kissed her under the warm running water renewing their passions once again.
by Vickey Brickle-Macky 6/29/98
I like happy endings. All comments, gripes, etc. can be sent to
phoenixstitch@zdnetmail.com