Nanook

I am prisoner within this body...A curse so long ago received. I am forever doomed to see the daylight world through the eyes of an animal.

Werewolves have it lucky, living human till moonrise when they must hide their hideous forms from others. But I must retmain the animal during the daylight, and hide my human form from the ones I care during the night. And how I long to see the world beyond these might-time colours and stand tall in the world I used to belong in. For this is the world she lives in...

I am large for a dog, with big burnished muscels. She picked me for my quiet strength and polished white coat. She calls me Nanook for my colour. I'm as "big as a bear," she says with a smile of devoted affection. When her fingers move through the thick fur and softly touch my skin, I feel delicious shivers run through my body. Or when she buries her face in my coat and kisses me gently, she is wondrously amazed that I smell of man. I smile within my human mind and touch her with my pink tounge, wishing desperately that it were my lips that kiss her so lovingly. She smiles and scratches behind my ears, saying that with all my strength, I wouldn't harm a fly.
It is fortunate that I might hide behind this mask and speak only in the voice of a dog, for then she would find the horrible truth of my past....The begining of this curse....

Among the Creole folk of New Orleans, life is different....More mystical and frightful. Belief in the unusual runs strong within the people of the swamp. And to take away a life, justified or not, is sometimes punished in the bizarre. For killing a man, vouchsafe my life, they cursed me for eternity as a servient animal. This, which I have become. And only the night keeps me from insanity when I may speak with my fellow man and enjoy the pleasures of life. Only now, my pleasure stays where she sleeps...

When she had found me, the blood of another man, who had brought about the rise of the anger of my animal instincts in me, still hung on my muzzle, tasted bitter on my tounge. They told her I was evil and deserved to be put to death for my vicious behavior. But when our eyes met, she only saw the good human nature and helplessness I had felt. She defended my life, and told them she didn't care. And she became my mistress, and I, her willing slave.
My Mistress...

I cannot say that if I had my life to live over again, I would do things differently...I only wish that I could have had the chance to have known her when I called myself a man...

Now, when the darkness comes, if I choose to leave my animal life behind for a while, I must either beg to be let out into the night, or leave my place at her bed, and pray that she will be safe while I am out. Sometimes I have stayed longer, to gaze at her sleeping form, wishing to touch her, but resisting, knowing I would only strike the fear of an intruder into her heart. Sadly, I must go out and live my human life without her ever knowing who I am and that I love her...

I shift quietly, suddenly. I rise to my hind feet and feel my hands become fingers and palms. My face controts and becomes human. Slowly, the colour returns to the world, only in shades of dark blues and greys. The red collar around my neck becomes tight and I must quickly remove it, for fear of choking. I go out to the shed where I have hidden clothes suited for my man form, put them, on, slipping an long knife into the waist of my pants. It is the only weapon I have ever carried. It is the only weapon I have trusted.

I walk into the French Quarter. It is always filled with life here. It amazes me how many people continue living, not knowning that such peopla as I exist in the world they live in. The pretty girls tease and taunt, never knowing that by tomorrow, they will see me differently.
It makes me wish to laugh at their silliness, for none of them could give me the devoted love in which she does...For a man like me learns how to see people for who they really are, and what they secretly feel. It is the only thing which reminds me of my true form, least I give into the animal. Only thought separates me from the beast I become...

It is true that masters trust their pets. I believe this is because they are unable to speak. And my mistress has told me much about her. This is why I have never tried to meet her in my human form, least I give away what I know and she becomes frightened. the times when she has confided in me the type of man her heart desires, my heart aches, for I know I could be that man, but yet, I must endure my love silently.
"If you were human, you'd be handsome," she once said to me one day as we sat in the park. It made me smile, my tounge panting as the tips of my canines showed. Everything she says makes me happy.

I have followed her on occassion, into the night world. I kept my distance as a man and watched her with admiration. The way the dim light flickered brighter in her eyes, and the way her red hair glistened. She was vibrant. I am often jealous of this vividness fof life she holds within her, like a brilliant beacon. Envious that she seems so young and full of life, while I am so dark and sullen.

She danced with a few of the young men there in the club who sought to gain her atention. But I could see the look in her eyes that told me she was unimpressed. And I smiled, knowing inside, she could never find the man of her dreams within these rooms.
I was surprised to see her standing in front of me when I lowered my glass of scotch. Her eyes stared into my with a piercing, searching look, and her smile was angelic.
"Would you care to dance?" she asked, her voice, oh so sweet. And I took her hand, so soft and tender, into my calloused hand, and in my silent way, I lead her out on the floor. We began to dance, and the movements took us away. I was affected by her; her very state of being before me, so warm and alive. She looked up at me with her large green eyes and smiled. Involuntarily, I found myself returning it.
"The music is lovely, isn't it?" she asked, her green eyes so big and innocent.
"Yes," I answer quietly, afraid to break the spell. This had been a moment I had long waited for, and I had not wanted it to vanish, like my dreams often did.

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