10. When you feel something drip on your head, you look up to see if there's a dead body on the ceiling.
9. When someone lights up a cigarette, you run away screaming.
8. When someone says "crap", you look around for flying fecal matter.
7. You can identify 803 shades of red from Scully's hair.
6. When you look in the mirror, you hold up a piece of paper and say "F...B...I"
5. You associate a potato famine with men that have tails.
4. When you do a dissection in Biology class, you call the subject "John Doe" and record the process, following standard FBI autopsy procedure.
3. If someone says "That's spooky", you say "Where is he?"
2. You wander through forests on weekends looking for monsters and spend weekdays crammed in a basement office looking at pictures of you father and his co-conspirators, and you call it a life. (Taking out time to watch the X-Files, of course, but you call it "loosing time" for some reason because you check your watch before, then you're completely mesmerized, and somehow an hour has passed)
1. If the phrase "cannot be programmed, categorized, or easily referenced" actually means something to you.
10. (:-|
Skinner
9. R:)
that's Scully with the Red Hair and the Smile
8. :|
Mulder, panicking
7. : '|
That's supposed to be Smoking Man with his cigarette.
6. :-(
Well-Manicured Man. you know how he always seems to be frowning?
5. :|==
Deep Throat. The deep throat ... well ... should explain itself.
\/
4. -(||)o It's supposed to be a bee
3. _
__( )__
(_______)
/ \ Duane Barry
/ \
/ 0 \
| -|- |
| / \ |
2.
0
\000/
|\0/|
| | |
| | |
\ | /
\|/
/|\
Yep, that's right. Corn.
1.
____________________
| |
| _ |
| __( )__ |
|(_______) /\ |
| / \ |
| /\ / \ /\|
| / \ / \ / |
| / \ \/ |
|/ \ / |
|I WANT TO BELIEVE | The scenery's off, but
|____________________| hey, that's life when you're working with keyboard only.
10. Scully--"I'm with Spooky"
9. Scully--"803 and the lipstick is still redder!"
8. Scully--"I'm a medical doctor; bring out ye dead!"
7. Scully--"799...800...801...802...803!!!"
6. Syndicate--"Accents are in the job description"
5. Mulder--"I brake for little grey men"
4. General--"Who's afraid of the big, bad bee..."
3. Mulder--"I have a life."
2. Mulder--"If it's not human, what is it?"
1. General--"Bleep"
10. Scribble on the sidewalk on Mulder's normal route to work, "SAMANTHA LIVES HERE! ==>"
9. Replace Scully's #34 hair dye with a mixture of blue paint and peroxide. (Okay, so that is extremely mean... That's why I didn't put it as #3 or 4.)
8. Steal Mulder's videos and change the heads to grey, with big eyes and small mouths.
7. (This one's for Chris Carter) Lead a parade on October 13 carrying a bell and yelling, "Bring out ye dead!" (i.e. Monty Python and the Holy Grail) while large men follow carrying carts filled with dead alien bodies.
6. Break into Mulder's apartment building with a bottle of orange spray paint and make huge X's around his door.
5. Replace Smoking Man's Morelys with chewing gum cigarettes and a box of nicotine patches.
4. Replace Mulder's "I Want to Believe" poster with one that says "Just a bunch of crazies howling at the moon."
3. Switch the labels of the video Mulder wants to show Scully and the video that isn't Mulder's and he doesn't know how it got there and he definetly doesn't want Scully to see it.
2. Switch Mulder's hypnotic regression tape with "The Muppets Sing Broadway"
1. Put a 'Chaco Chicken' container in the FBI autopsy facility, with a note inside saying that John Doe tasted 'just like chicken.'
This list was made by Scully of the XPDC. She did this completely on her own, which is amazing considering how hard a top ten list is to make. It appeared first on her website, which is titled Brainwash. At least, that's the title of her entry page. Everything in plain text is hers, exactly as she wrote it. The stuff in italics is what I added.
10. The Syndicate is intentionally making Mulder's pancakes in UFO shapes to make him paranoid(er).
9. The Cigarette-Smoking Man is suspected of illegal use of nicotine patches and gum.
8 Scully decides it's time for a change and dyes her hair -- blue.
7 The lone gunmen can't hack into a system.
6 Skinner has an opportunity to do something besides open the X-Files, close the X-Files, and criticise Mulder and Scully's work.(Skinner-- Hey, cut me some slack. I can only do as much as the writers let me do, and I nearly died in the Jan. 17, 1999 episode)
5. The Syndicate decide they've had enought of all the "bad guy stuff," move to eastern Asia, and become strict Buddhists.
4. Mulder quits the FBI and becomes a freelance writer for fashion magazines.
3. One of Mulder's informants gives him correct and relevant information, when he wants it, the first time he asks, and he understands it.
2. Mulder throws out all of the videos and magazines (and the Bikini Girls and Hardware calendar) that aren't his.
1. Mulder dies and STAYS DEAD! (But what fun would that be?)
10. If someone of importance is dying, give the cross to their mother.
9. Give the cross to a little girl and study her behavior to find out if she is your sister's clone.
8. Leave the cross as a marker so Mulder can find her.
7. Use it as a homing beacon so the aliens know where to put you when they bring you back.
6. Ward off vampires.
5. Remind you of "that which you cannot live without" (said in a Strughold accent) so you can go on doing what you need to do.
4. Ward off genetic mutants who can stretch to incredible lengths to get livers they need to nourish them while they hibernate for 30 years. (She wore a different necklace, and look what happened.)
3. Use it to destroy extraterrestrial dolls that may be lurking around the corner and under control of a little girl.
2. Use it to find your way out of the woods when invisible men have trapped you in their cave.
1. Rediscover your faith in order to help cure your formerly terminal illness.
I am aware that some of the following were not done on cell phones. This list was just for fun with phones in general.
10. Find out what time it is in the Eurisko building before you die.
9. Make sure your partner's okay. If they don't answer, something's wrong.
8. Check bloodbanks to see who they just hired for the nightshift.
7. Get a passenger list from the airline so you can prevent a murder.
6. Expose yourself to more radiation than you'd get from a salvage ship.
5. Ask your partner about a case that you're not really working on because you're on vacation, but you end up pretty much solving anyway.
4. Try to tell your partner that the pizza boy is a vampire, even though you're under sedation.
3. Throw it at the TV when a commercial for an annoying psychic comes on.
2. Prevent catatonic schizophrenia.
1. Call somebody.
Top Ten Things They Didn't Say
Suggestions for a new list? Your opinions are welcome. You can find my email address on my guestbook page. Don't forget to sign! Your input is important.
A special note of thanks to the members of the XPDC for their help. These lists would never have been made without them.
Get your own Free Home Page