Great Lines

from the X-Files

SEASON TWO CONTINUED

2X13 IRRESISTIBLE

A fetishist goes from mutilating corpses to murdering women to get his trophies. He attempts to murder Scully.

Bocks-- You're saying some human's been doing this?
Mulder-- Yeah, if you want to call him that.
Mulder-- Some people collect salt and pepper shakers. Fetishists collect dead things -- fingernails and hair. No one quite knows why, though I've never understood salt and pepper shakers myself.
Mulder-- People videotape police beatings in darkened streets. They manage to see Elvis in three cities across America every day. But no one saw a pretty woman being forced off the road.
Mulder-- It is somehow easier to believe in aliens and UFOs than in the kind of cold-hearted, inhuman monster who could prey on the living to scavenge from the dead.

2X14 DIE HAND DIE VERLETZT

Some teens hold a false occult ritual, and accidentally summon a powerful being who brings the diabolists of the town back to their faith.

Title-- 'The Hand, The Pain' or 'The hand that wounds'
Chalkboard-- Goodbye. It's been nice working with you.
Mulder-- Better hide you Megadeath albums.
Mulder-- So, lunch?
Scully-- Mulder, toads just fell from the sky!

2X15 FRESH BONES

A reported suicide brings Mulder and Scully into the world of voodoo as they attempt to find the truth.

Scully-- There was a boy, his name was Bonapart, Chester Bonapart.
Soldier-- Sure. Chester, poor kid. He died six weeks ago in that riot.

2X16 COLONY

Someone is murdering clones, who happen to be from an alien breeding program. One of the sets of clones was derived from Samantha's DNA. (1 of 2)

Mulder-- Who is Mom talking to?
Bill Mulder-- Your sister.
Mulder-- You've got to wonder about a country where even the President has to worry about drive-by shootings.
Scully-- Whatever happened to 'Trust No One?'
Mulder-- I changed it to 'Trust Everyone.' Didn't I tell you?

2X17 -- END GAME

Mulder agrees to trade Samantha for Scully when she is kidnapped in an attempt to trap the alien Bounty Hunter. The plan fails, and Samantha is lost. Mulder tracks the alien, and nearly dies.(2 of 2)

Mulder-- WHERE IS SHE!?
Mulder-- How was the opera?
Mr. X-- Wonderful. I've never slept better.
Mr. X-- Is the answer to your question worth dying for?

2X18 FEARFUL SYMMETRY

Animals disappear from their cages and reappear miles away, after wreaking destruction while invisible.

Sophie-- Man save Man. (implies that Mulder saves, or will save, mankind)
Mulder-- I'd be willing to admit he possibility of a tornado, but it's not really tornado season. I'd even be willing to entertain the notion of a black hole passing over the area, but it's not really black hole season either.

2X19 DØD KALM

A ship stuck in a northern Bermuda Triangle is carrying water which makes people grow older.

Scully-- Something very strange is going on here, Mulder.
Mulder-- I always thought that when I got old, I'd take a cruise.

2X20 HUMBUG

Mulder and Scully investigate murders in a town populated by retired sideshow artists.

Dr. Blockhead-- It's a mystery. Maybe some mysteries are never meant to be solved.
Dr. Blockhead-- For instance, did you know that through the protective Chinese practice of Tubu Shon, you can train your testicles to drop into your abdomen?
Mulder-- I'm doing that as we speak.
Mr. Nut-- Not all women are attracted to overly-tall, lanky men such as yourself. You'd be surprised how many women find my size intriguingly alluring.
Mulder-- You'd be surprised how many men do as well.
Mr. Blockhead-- If people knew the true price of spirituality, there'd be more atheists.
Mulder-- We're exhuming ... your potato.
Scully-- You recall what Barnum said about suckers?
Mulder-- Tell me, have you done much circus work in your life?
Mr. Nut-- And what makes you think I've ever spectated a circus, much less been enslaved by one?
Mulder-- I know that many of the citizens here are former circus hands, and I just thought...
Mr. Nut-- You thought that because I am a person of short stature, the only career I could procure for myself would be one confined to the so-called 'big top.' You took one quick look at me, and decided that you could deduce my entire life. Never would it have occurred to you that a person of my height could have possibly obtained a degree in hotel management.
Mulder-- I'm sorry. I meant no offense.
Mr. Nut-- Then why should I take offense? Just because it's human nature to make instantaneous judgements of others based solely on their physical appearances? Why, I've done the same thing to you, for example. I've taken in your all-American features, your dour demeanor, your unimaginative necktie design, and concluded that you work for the government, an FBI agent. But to you see the tragedy here? I have mistakenly reduced you to a stereotype, a caricature, instead of regarding you as a specific, unique individual.
Mulder-- But I am an FBI agent.
Mr. Nut-- Register here, please.
Lenny-- I believe these are your trailers. If they are not, then I am wrong.
Scully-- It's an old sleight of hand my uncle once taught me. He was only an ameteur magician, but he was better than most.
Mulder-- Well, I'm going over to the lab to see if they can test the blood on the window against the blood on Dr. Blockhead's nail. Everyone's uncle was an ameteur magician.
Scully-- That doesn't quite explain the potato.
Sheriff-- I got some warts on my hand.
Mulder-- That doesn't quite explain the potato.
Sheriff-- Be careful. You might hurt yourself.
Lenny-- So what?
Sheriff-- So you might hurt me in the process.
Mulder-- Scully, you really shouldn't complain about banality when your main suspect is the human blockhead.
The Conundrum-- Probably something I ate.

2X21 THE CALUSARI

The spirit of a boy's still-born twin is wreaking havoc on a family.

The Calusari-- It is over for now, but you must be careful. It knows you.
Mulder-- He found it was physically impossible for the child to escape the harness. So unless he [Teddy] was the reincarnation of Houdini... and that would be an X-File in itself.

2X22 F. EMASCULATA

A disease finds its way into a prison, and one infected prisoner escapes.

Mulder-- You can't protect the public by lying to them.
Cancer Man-- It's done everyday.
U.S. Marshal-- FBI run out of crooked politicians to sting?
Mulder-- Where do you stand?
Skinner-- Right on the line that you keep crossing.

2X23 SOFT LIGHT

A doctor's shadow reduces people to little scorch marks.

Scully-- Let's forget for the moment that there's no scientific theory to support it.
Mulder-- Okay.
Scully-- Nonsensical, repetitive behavior is a common trait of mental illness.
Mulder-- You trying to tell me something?
Mulder-- As a favor, we just handed over the A bomb to the boy scouts.
Mr. X-- You're choosing a dangerous time to go it alone, Agent Mulder.
Officer-- You don't think someone could squeeze in there [a small vent]?
Scully-- You never know.
Ryan-- We'll call you if there's anything more you can do.
Banton-- My shadow isn't me...

2X24 OUR TOWN

The people of Dudley are eating more than chicken, and start coming down with a rare disease as a result.

Chaco-- Living a long life is a mixed blessing. You build things when you're young only to see them torn down in your old age.
Scully-- She claims that she saw some kind of a foxfire spirit. I'm surprised she didn't call Oprah as soon as she got off the phone with the police.
Chaco-- Not many people I know are as useful as these chickens.
Scully-- I didn't think anything gave you nightmares.
Mulder-- I was young.
Slogan of Chaco Chicken-- Good People, Good Food!
Mulder-- Who knows, Scully? This could turn out to be more interesting than foxfires.

2X25 ANASAZI

Alien remains are found in the desert. The Thinker, one of the Lone Gunmen, hacks the infamous MJ files. The Conspiracy is spiking Mulder's water with LSD. Skinner and Mulder have a tiff in the hallway (Mulder gets flattened). Mulder finds alien remains in a boxcar. (1 of 3)

Tag Line-- ÉÍ 'AANÍÍGÓÓ 'ÁHOOT'É
Smoking Man-- Gentlemen, that was the phone call I never wanted to get.
Smoking Man-- As always, maintain plausible denial. The files are only as real as their possible authentication.
Smoking Man-- I strongly encourage you, in that event, to deny everything.
Bill Mulder-- Forgive me.
Mulder-- You boys been defacing library books again?
Thinker-- I don't want you to know my real name. I just don't think it's that important that you know.
Mulder-- Sounds like a line I used in a bar once.
Mulder-- Remember your commandments, Scully? The part where God made heaven and Earth, but didn't tell anyone about his side projects?
Mulder-- You took my gun. You think I did it, don't you?
Scully-- I took your gun to run it through ballistics to try and clear you, Mulder.
Mulder-- Why didn't you ask me?
Scully-- You had a temperature of 102 last night. I didn't want to wake you.
Mulder-- Oh, you were afraid I'd shoot you, too?
Scully-- Mulder, I'm being called in to Skinner's office this afternoon. They're going to want answers, and I'd like to be able to give them.
Mulder-- So you can clear your consience and you name? You've been making reports on me since the beginning, Scully, taking your little notes!
Scully-- Mulder, you're sick. You're not thinking straight. I'm on your side and you know that.
Mulder-- Look. You have my files and you have my gun. Don't ask me for my trust.
Mulder-- You shot me.
Scully--If you killed Krycek with that weapon, there would have been no way to prove that you didn't kill your father.
Scully-- Considering the levels of pyschosis you were experiencing, it [substance in the water] was possibly LSD, amphetimines, or some kind of dopamine agonist.
Mulder-- Oh my God. There was a murder in my building.
Scully-- Well, it wasn't an exercise in subtlety.
Scully-- There's something else ... my name is in those files.
Albert-- Nothing disappears without a trace.
Smoking Man-- You're a hard man to reach.
Mulder-- Not hard enough, apparently.
Mulder-- Oh my God, Scully. What have they done?

The Beginning of Season Two

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These quotes were written by the script writers. The X-Files belongs to Fox.

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