Great Lines

from the X-Files

SEASON THREE CONTINUED

3X13 -- SYZYGY

Two girls born on the same day gain special powers from the stars, resulting in several murders.

Mulder-- You don't suppose she's a virgin, do you?
Scully-- I doubt she's even a blonde.

Mulder-- [A coffin just spontaneously combusted] Maybe we're just imagining that.

Mulder-- If it's no bother, if it's not too big a deal, maybe you could get me a few photographs of that thing which bears absolutely no resemblance to an horned beast.
Scully-- Sure, fine, whatever.

Mulder-- Personally, I like to keep a more open mind.

Zirinka-- Well, we're heading into a rare planetary alignment where Mercury, Mars, and Uranus are extreme influences.
Mulder-- On what?
Zirinka-- Office hours are 9 to 5. All major credit cards accepted.

Scully-- We have differing opinions, but I didn't expect you to ditch me.
Mulder-- I didn't ditch you.
Scully-- Sure, fine, whatever.

Mulder-- Go ahead.
Scully-- No, you go ahead.
Mulder-- No, be my guest. I know how much you like snapping on the latex.

Mulder-- This may not be any time to mention it, but someone is wearing my favorite perfume.
Scully-- Can I have a word with you? [Mulder sniffs Scully] What are you doing?
Mulder-- Must be Detective White. [Mulder sniffs Det. White]
White-- What are you doing?
Mulder-- Nothing.

Mulder-- Will you let me drive?
Scully-- I'm driving. Why do you always have to drive? Because you're the guy? Because you're the big, macho man?
Mulder-- No. I was just never sure your little feet could reach the pedals.

Zirinka-- I'm just waiting for authorization [on credit card].
Mulder-- I'm a Federal Agent.
Zirinka-- Last I heard, the government couldn't pay it's bills.

Mulder-- You just ran a stop sign back there, Scully.
Scully-- Shut up, Mulder.
Mulder: Sure, fine, whatever.

Scully-- The problem is that the details of these accounts could have been taken from any newspaper or magazine. As horrific as they sound, the stories that these girls told are common, even cliché.

Mulder-- What would you say if tomorrow is my birthday?
Zirinka-- I'd say happy birthday.

3X14 GROTESQUE

Mulder's old teacher calls him in on a serial killing. The killer is caught, claiming he was possessed, and identical murders are still occurring.

Patterson-- I have to tell you, I'm disappointed in you.
Mulder-- Well, I wouldn't want to disappoint you by not disappointing you.

3X15 PIPER MARU

A diver is infected with the black-oil virus, and transfers it to his wife. She, in turn, passes it to Krycek. Skinner is shot. (1 of 2)

Officer-- What the hell's that?
Mulder-- It looks like the fuselage of a plane.
Scully-- It's a North American P-51 Mustang.
Officer-- Yeah, it sure is.
Mulder-- I just got very turned on.
MiB-- We work for the intelligence community.
Skinner-- Remind me not to move there.
Scully-- You're in the basement because they are afraid of you, of your relentlessness, and because they know that they could drop you in the middle of the desert and tell you the truth is out there, and you'd ask them for a shovel.
Johansen-- We bury the dead alive, don't we?

3X16 APOCRYPHA

Skinner's assailant, Luis Cardinal, is caught. They find he also killed Melissa Scully. Mulder is travelling with Krycek, and their trek ends in a missle silo. (2 of 2)

Smoking Man-- Have the bodies destroyed.
Doctor-- But sir, these men aren't dead yet.
Cancer Man-- Isn't that the prognosis?
Young Smoking Man-- You can trust all of us.
Langly-- We show a talent for these G-men activities.

3X17 PUSHER

Robert Modell, who calls himself "Pusher," confesses to fourteen murders. The condition that is killing him allows him to push his will onto others.

Scully-- Mulder, I'm still not sure what we're looking for.
Mulder-- Samurais without masters have to advertise.
Scully-- Yes, but advertise for what? How did this Pusher convince an otherwise honest deputy sheriff to free him? I'm sure you have a theory.
Mulder-- Suggestion is a powerful force, as are most TV commercials. They're designed to plant thoughts in your head.
Scully-- Inducing someone to change their hair color is a little different than inducing them to drive in front of a speeding truck.
Mulder-- Modell psyched the guy out. He put the whammy on him.
Scully-- Please explain to me the scientific nature of the whammy.
Mulder-- Why would a killer who is so proficient confess to murders that he's already gotten away with? Maybe he's dying!
Scully-- And he want's to go out in a blaze of glory?
Modell-- You must be Frank Burst. You know, I've got to tell you, you got the greatest name.
Mulder-- "Mango Kiwi Tropical Swirl." Now we know we're dealing with a madman.

3X18 TESO DOS BICHOS

The unearthing of a Ecuadorian shaman lays a curse on the museum which takes her.

Mulder-- The true curse that struck the museum was the failure to understand that there are powers that should not be disturbed, that some things are better left buried....
Mulder-- If someone digs me up in a thousand years, I hope there's a curse on them, too.
Scully-- Label that.
Policeman-- As what?
Scully-- Partial rat body part.
Scully-- A possessed rat? The return of Ben?

3X19 HELL MONEY

Mulder and Scully investigate black market body part dealers in Chinatown, and the lottery they use to select donors.

Chinese Smoking Man-- You have to keep playing. You know the rules... No one talks about the game... No one leaves the game.
Scully-- If I'm right, this is one man who left his heart in San Francisco

3X20 JOSE CHUNG'S FROM OUTER SPACE

Jose Chung is writing a book about aliens, and interviews several bleeping people about one situation.

Scully-- All of her clothes were on inside-out and backwards.
Chung-- Oh, I've had my share of mornings like that.
Mulder-- It's all characteristic of a typical abduction.
Scully-- That's my problem with it, Mulder. It's all a little too typical.
Mulder-- So what if they had sex?
Scully-- So, we know that it wasn't an alien that probed her.
Scully-- Unfortunately, I'm not sure that modern reconstruction of ancient fairy tales lends any more credence to Rocky's testimony.
Scully-- Well, Mulder's had his share of peculiar notions. He's not inclined to dismiss anything outright.
Scully: Mulder, you're nuts.
Lt. Shaeffer-- I don't know if you even exist.
Mulder-- I can only assure you that I do.
Scully-- That was Det. Manners. He said they just found your bleeping U.F.O.
Mulder-- They don't want our assistance. They want witnesses to their alibi.
Chung-- What really happened to those kids that night?
Mulder-- How the h*** should I know?
Chung-- In our own separate ways on this planet, we are all alone.
Jose Chung-- Truth is as subjective as reality. That will help explain why, when people talk about their UFO experiences, they always start off with, "I know how crazy this is gonna sound, but..."
Scully-- So, you're here to get my version of the truth.
Scully-- Mulder, you're nuts.
Scully (supposedly)-- You tell anyone, you're a dead man.
Scully-- He said I said what?
Blaine-- One of them was disguised as a woman, but wasn't pulling it off. Like, her hair was red, but it was a little too red... And the other one - the tall, lanky one - his face was so blank and expressionless...
Mulder (supposedly)-- AAAAAAAAHHHH! (a girlie scream)
MiB-- Even the former leader of your United States of America, James Earl Carter, Junior, thought he saw a UFO once. But it's been proven he only saw the planet Venus.
Roky-- I'm a Republican.
Manners-- Yep, that's a bleeping dead alien body if I ever bleeping saw one.
Manners-- They found a real live dead alien body.
Scully-- I know it doesn't have the sense of closure that you want, but it has more than some of our cases.
Pick a character-- How the h*** should I know?
Alien/Pilot-- This is not happening.
Blaine-- Roswell! Roswell!

3X21 AVATAR

Skinner is accused of a prostitute's murder, but Mulder thinks he knows the truth.

Scully-- You said Skinner called in a homicide?
Mulder-- It appears to be a little more complicated than that. It seems like he had a front row seat.
Scully-- Was she working last night and who was picking up the tab?
Loraine-- Can't say.
Mulder: I guess that would hurt future book sales, huh?
Mulder-- Are you sure you saw something?
Scully-- Mulder, this isn't exactly something that I'd make up.
Mulder-- Because he's afraid.
Scully-- That he did it?
Mulder-- That he doesn't know that he didn't do it.
Scully-- The truth is, we don't know very much about him. We don't know what he does off-duty, who he really is...
Mulder-- We know that he has put his a** up on the line for us a number of times. We owe it to him to find out what really happened.
Scully-- Even if it means proving his guilt?
Scully-- Business must be booming.
Mulder-- You mean banging.
Skinner-- I was no choirboy. I inhaled.

3X22 QUAGMIRE

The populace of a town blames recent murders on Big Blue, a creature like the Loch Ness monster. Scully's dog dies.

Scully-- So you think a serial killer is at large?
Mulder-- The operative word being large.
Scully-- What are you leaving out?
Mulder-- What makes you think I'm leaving anything out?
[They pass a sign advertizing Big Blue]
Scully-- You can't be serious.
Scully-- Mulder, the creature is just a folktale.
Mulder-- How many folktales do you know that could eat a boy scout leader and a biologist? Scully-- We eat fish, and fish eat us.
Mulder-- Are fish also known for eating half, and saving half for later?
Scully-- Regardless of what I believe, there's no hard evidence that it's what you believe.
Scully-- You know, on the old mariner's maps, the cartographers would designate uncharted territories by writing "here be monsters."
Mulder-- I got a map of New York City just like that.
Mulder-- You know, living in the city, you forget that night is actually so, uh, dark.
Scully-- Living in the city, you forget a lot of things. You know, there you're always thinking about being mugged or hit by a car. It's not until you get back to nature that you realize that everything is out to get you. T hat's why my father always taught me to respect nature, 'cause it has no respect for you.
Mulder-- That was him, Scully. That was Big Blue.
Scully-- So what, if it was.
Mulder-- You don't think my reasons are legitimate?
Scully-- Mulder, sometimes I just can't figure them out.
Scully-- You know, something just occured to me.
Mulder-- What?
Scully-- How much you're like Ahab. You're so consumed by your personal vengeance against life, whether it be its inherent cruelties or its mysteries, that everything takes on a warped significance to fit your megalomaniacal cosmology.
Mulder-- Scully, are you coming on to me? (As soon as I can, I will transcribe the entire scene on the rock. It's just too good to miss.)
Scully-- What was that?
Mulder-- I don't know, but it ain't no duck!
Mulder-- I guess I just wanted Big Blue to be real. I guess I see hope in such a possibility.
Scully-- Well, there's still hope. That's why these myths and stories have endured. People want to believe.
Mulder-- I know the difference between expectation and hope. Seek and ye shall find, Scully.
Faraday-- Hope I'm not interrupting anything.
Teen-- Dude, what's wrong with you? You made drop my toad.
Mulder-- [upon realizing that what he thought was a lake monster was actually a duck] I'm still tempted to fire.

3X23 WETWIRED

Watching television may be causing psychotic, violent behavior.

Informant-- Well, this area's always been known for it's criminal element.
Mulder-- Especially when Congress is in session.
Mulder-- Television does not make a previously-sane man go out and kill five people, thinking they're all the same guy. Not even must-see TV could do that to you.
Mulder-- [waving tie] I'm red-green color blind
Scully-- [to Mrs. Scully] He's never trusted me.
Mulder-- Scully, you are the only one I trust.
Scully-- Everyone was out to get me.
Mulder-- Now you know how I feel most of the time.
Skinner-- What about their killer?
Mulder-- He remains an unknown subject.
Smoking Man-- What about Mulder's source?
Mr. X-- He's been eliminated.
Smoking Man-- And his source? Who's he working with?
Mr. X-- That person remains unknown.
Mulder-- You're a coward. You work in the shadows. You feed me scraps of information hoping I can piece it together. You've made me risk my life, you've risked my partner's life, and you never risk your own life.
Scully-- What does he want us to recover?
Mulder-- Yeah, but those studies are based on the assumption that Americans are jsut empty vessels, ready to be filled with any idea or image that's fed to them, like a bunch of Pavlov dogs.

3X24 TALITHA CUMI

A man who can heal people with a touch is a shapeshifting clone, and we learn some interesting things about Mrs. Mulder's past. (1 of 2)

Mulder-- My Mother wrote the word "palm". The man who healed the victims, that's what he used, the palm of his hand. You think it's a leap?
Scully-- Where are you going?
Mulder-- If I told you, you'd never let me go.
Mulder-- I want the Smoking Man smoked out. I want him exposed to be the murdering son of a b**** that he is.
Skinner-- These men don't have names.
Smith-- You are dying of lung cancer.
Smoking Man-- It's a lie.
Smith-- You think it's a lie?
Smoking Man-- You want to save your life.
Smith-- And you?
Cancer Man-- I've known your mother since before you were born, Fox.
Mulder-- I don't care.
Mulder-- I have what you want.
Smoking Man-- There's nothing I want, Agent Mulder, except to see how your mother's doing.
Smith (as Deep Throat)-- At what cost to them? For your own selfish benefit, how many must die at your hand to preserve your stake in the project?
Mulder-- You think it's a leap?
Smoking Man-- This becomes a responsibility. The thing I'm now called upon to put right, and to put down.
Smith-- You live in fear. That's your whole life.
Talitha Cumi (title)-- New Testament Greek for "Little Girl, get up."

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These quotes were written by the script writers. The X-Files belongs to FOX.

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