Great Lines

from the X-Files

SEASON FOUR

4X01 -- HERRENVOLK

• Scully-- You show a twenty-letter code to any scientist, and they immediately think 'protein amino acid sequence code'.
• Smith-- A flowering shrub, but its specific epithet can't be found on any of your taxonomic charts.
• Board Member-- (regarding Scully's small pox theory) This sounds like something we might have expected from Agent Mulder.
• Mr. X-- Protect the mother.
• Covarrubrias-- Not everything dies, Mr. Mulder.
• Tag Line-- Everything Dies

4X02 -- HOME

• Mulder-- What we are witnessing, Scully, is undiluted animal behavior. Mankind absent in its own creation of civilization, technology, and information, regressed to an almost prehistoric state, obeying only the often savage laws of nature.
• Scully-- Meanwhile, I've quit the FBI and become a spokesperson for the Ab Roller.
• Mulder-- If I were going to settle down, build a home, it'd be a place like this.
  Scully-- Be like living in Mayberry.
• Sheriff-- I'm Sheriff Andy Taylor.
  Mulder-- For real?
• Sheriff-- By the way, this is my deputy, Barney.
  Mulder-- Fife?
  Deputy-- Paster.
• Mulder-- Something rotten in Mayberry.
• Mulder-- Just find yourself a man with a spotless genetic makeup and a really high tolerance for being second guessed, and start pumping out the little uber-Scullies.
  Scully-- What about your family? (Flirt alert)
  Mulder-- Aside from a need for corrective lenses and a tendency to be abducted by extraterrestrials involved in an international governmental conspiracy, the Mulder family passes genetic muster.
• Scully-- Still planning on making a home here?
  Mulder-- Not if I can't get the Knicks game.
  Scully-- Well, just as long as a horrible infanticide doesn't weigh into your decision. Good night, Mulder.
  Mulder-- Good night, mom.
• Deputy-- I, for one, am not getting taken out by some antique.
• Scully-- Baa ram ewe. Baa ram ewe.
  Mulder-- Yeah, that'll work.
  Scully-- I babysat for my nephew this weekend. We watched Babe fifteen times a day.
  Mulder-- And people call me spooky.
• (In my opinion, the following is one of the best acted sequences in television. You really have to see it rather than read it.)
  Deputy-- I... I came over to give him these reports and there... and I found him. The... the owner of the Caddilac... was...was found and contacted in Baltimore. She... she ran out of gas, just left the car on the 119. Other... possible missing persons are in the file. And... this came from the federal crime lab overnight.
  Mulder-- Where are they?
  Deputy-- ...Inside.
• Scully-- Mulder, if you had to do without a cell phone for two minutes, you'd lapse into catatonic schizophrenia.
• Mulder-- (pushing pigs)Scully, would you think less of me as a man if I told you I was kind of excited right now?

4X03 -- TELIKO

• Tag Line-- Deceive, Inveigle, and Obfuscate
• Scully-- Not everything is a labyrinth of a dark conspiracy.
• Mulder-- There's a Michael Jackson joke in here somewhere, but I can't quite find it.
• Mulder-- Hey, I heard you were down here slicing and dicing. Who's the lucky stiff?

4X04 -- UNRUHE

• Scully-- All right, so what's your theory?
• Mulder-- That was a bad year. So what else happened in 1980, Gerry?
  Schnauz-- Well, John Lennon got shot. Where the hell are you going with this?

4X05 -- THE FIELD WHERE I DIED

• Mulder-- Souls come back together. Different, but always together, again and again.

4X06 -- SANGUINARIUM

• Scully-- There is magic going on here, Mulder. Only it's being done with silicon, collagen, and a well-placed scalpel.
• Scully-- If it's that simple, why don't you put out an APB for someone riding a broom and wearing a tall, black hat?
• Mulder-- Vanity, all is vanity (Version of Ecclesiastes 1:2)

4X07 -- MUSINGS OF A CIGARETTE-SMOKING MAN

• CSM-- You've enough plausible deniability to last the rest of your nine lives.
• CSM-- Life is like a box of chocolates. A cheap, thoughtless, perfunctory gift that nobody ever asks for. Sure, once in awhile there's a peanut butter cup or an English Toffee, but they're gone too fast, the taste is too fleeting. So you end up with nothing but broken bits filled with hardened jelly and teeth-shattering nuts.
• Mulder-- No one would kill you, Frohike. You're just a little puppy dog.
• CSM-- I'd rather read the worst novel ever written than sit through the best movie ever made.
• CSM-- I work very hard to keep any president from knowing I even exist.
• CSM-- Once again, tonight the course of human history will be set by two unknown men standing in the shadows.
• CSM-- I can kill you whenever I please, but not today.

4X08 -- TUNGUSKA

• CSM-- Our necessary and plausible denial is intact.
• Mulder-- You're full of crap, Krycek. You're an invertebrate scum-sucker whose moral dipstick is about two drips short of bone dry.
• Mulder-- I'm leaving the window rolled down. If I'm not back in a week, I'll call Agent Scully to come by and bring you a bowl of water.
• Skinner-- He'll be safe here. Relatively safe.
• Skinner-- We're not even, yet, boy, but that's a start.
• Mulder-- You speak Russian?

4X09 --TERMA

• Skinner-- You owe me some answers, Agent Scully: answers I don't have to questions I'm being asked about this missing pouch. The pouch presumably being carried by the man who was allegedly pushed off my balcony, and whose connection with a known felon I harbored in my house against all good sense I'm going to have to explain to avoid perjuring myself before a Senate sub-committee tomorrow. Which, I might remind you, is a very serious crime in itself, is it not, Agent Scully?
• Tagline-- E Pur Si Muove (And still it moves, whispered by Galileo in reference to the Earth after the Inquisition forced him to say the Earth stood still and the heavens moved around it.)

4X10 -- PAPER HEARTS

• Roche-- He had a really hard time choosing.

4X11 -- EL MUNDO GIRA

• Scully-- Mulder, I know you don't want to hear this, but I think the aliens in this story are not the villains. They're the victims.
• Mulder-- Scully, I've been thinking. I know that's dangerous, but bear with me.
• Eladio-- I am the Chupacabra!
• Mulder-- The truth is, nobody cares.
• Title-- The World Turns (possibly a reference to the soap opera As the World Turns, saying this episode is a "Mexican soap opera.")

4X12 -- LEONARD BETTS

• Betts-- I'm sorry, but you have something I need.

4X13 -- NEVER AGAIN

• Scully-- Your contact, while interesting in the context of science fiction, was, at least in my memory, recounting a poorly-veiled synopsis of an episode of Rocky and Bullwinkle.
• Mulder-- Congratulations on making a personal appearance in the X-Files for the second time.
• Scully-- Why don't I have a desk?
• Mulder-- All this because I didn't get you a desk?

4X14 -- MEMENTO MORI

• Mulder-- The truth will save you, Scully. I think it will save both of us.
• Scully-- (about her diary) I'd decided to throw it out.
• Title-- Reminder of death

4X15 -- KADDISH

• Mulder-- A Jew pulled it off two thousand years ago (resurrection).
• Ariel-- I am to my beloved as my beloved is to me (Song of Solomon 6:3)

4X16 -- UNREQUITED

• Mulder-- I found his story compelling, but then again, I believe the Warren Commission.
• Skinner-- I've already seen more dead soldiers than I ever want to see.

4X17 -- TEMPUS FUGIT

• Mulder-- Okay, Scully. Hit me with your best shot.
• Scully-- You sure know how to make a girl feel special on her birthday.
• Scully-- An alien implant?
  Mulder-- Two, actually. I made them into earrings.

4X18 -- MAX

• Scully-- I think you appreciate that there are extraordinary men and women, and extraordinary moments when history leaps forward on the backs of these individuals...
  Mulder-- I just thought it was a pretty cool keychain.
• Scully-- Men with spartan lives, simple in their creature comforts, unwilling to allow for the complexity of their passions.
• Mulder-- I'd go, but I'm afraid they'd lock me up.
  Scully-- Me, too.
• Mulder-- I think he got the connecting flight.

4X19 -- SYNCHRONY

• Mulder-- If Lucas Menand never gets hit by that bus, his complaint gets heard before the grand committee, Jason Nichols loses his funding and he never gets to collaborate on his research with Dr. Yonechi. Therefore, this photograph is never taken because this celebration never happens.
  Scully-- And if your sister is your aunt, and your mother marries your uncle, you'd be your own grandpa.
• Mulder-- The security officer who's now in the morgue has a body temperature a little south of Frosty the Snowman.

4X20 -- SMALL POTATOES

• Doctor-- Good Lord, not another one.
• Mulder-- Should we be picking out china patterns or what?
• Mulder-- Birds do it, bees do it, even educated MDs do it.
• Mulder-- Were you abducted?
  Amanda-- No. He dropped by my apartment one day, and one thing sort of led to another.
• Mulder-- If you're waiting for my usual theory as to what's going on, I don't have one.
• Scully-- Are you saying that Van Blundht is an alien?
  Mulder-- No, not unless they have trailer parks in space.
• Eddie-- I was born a looser, but you're one by choice. You should live a little, treat yourself. God knows I would if I were you.

4X21 -- ZERO SUM

• Smoking Man-- Tell him what he wants to hear.
• Smoking Man-- I suggest you keep your voice down, Mr. Skinner, unless you want your neighbors to know the hours and company you keep.

4X22 -- ELEGY

• Mulder-- What is a death omen if not a vision of our own mortality? And who among us would most likely be able to see the dead?
• Harold-- She is me.

4X23 -- DEMONS

• Mulder-- You're a doctor, not a lawyer.
• Mulder-- Do the words Orenthal James Simpson mean anything to you?
• Mulder-- The truth is in there, recorded, and I've gotten access to it.
• Scully-- I know what you do.

4X24 -- GETHSEMANE

• Mulder-- If someone could prove to you the existence of God, would it change you?
  Scully-- Only if it had been disproven.
• Bill-- You think you can cure yourself?
• Mulder-- I refuse to believe that it's not true.
  Scully-- Because it's easier to believe the lie.

Season One
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Season Three

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These quotes were written by the script writers. The X-Files belongs to FOX.

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