Yo mama's so fat, I had to take a train and two busses just to get on her good side.

Yo mama's so fat, they had to grease a door frame and hold a Twinkie on the other side to get her through.

Yo mama's so fat, on Halloween she trick or treats two houses at a time.

Yo mama's so fat, when she went to Burger King and asked for a Whopper, they gave her the sign.

Yo mama's so fat, when she works at the movie theater, she works as the screen.

Yo mama's so fat, when she ran away, they had to use all four sides of the milk carton.

Yo mama's so fat, you can't even see her legs, it just looks like she's gliding across the floor.

Yo mama's so fat, she fills up the bath tub, and then she turns on the water.

Yo mama's so fat, all of her clothes have to be custom made by a contractor.

Yo mama's so fat, she doesn't have a doctor, she has a grounds keeper.

Yo mama's so fat, she's got smaller fat women orbiting around her.

Yo mama's so fat, a picture of her fell off the wall!

Yo mama's so fat, when she stepped on a train track, the warning lights went on.

Yo mama's so fat, at the zoo, the elephants started throwing her peanuts.

Yo mama's so fat, every time she wears high heels, she strikes oil.

Yo mama's so fat, when she leaves the beach everybody shouts "The coast is clear."

Yo mama's so fat, she wakes up in sections.

Yo mama's so fat, she looks like she's smuggling a Volkswagon.

Yo mama's so fat, her blood type is rocky-road.

Yo mama's so fat, she ain't on a diet, she's on a triet... She be like "What ya'll eating? I'll try it!"

Yo mama's so fat, she went on a seafood diet... Whenever she saw food she ate it.

Yo mama's so fat, when she bends over we go into daylight savings time.

Yo mama's so fat, she got it goin' on... and on and on and on.

Yo mama's so fat, they have to run a relay race to get her belt through her belt loops.

Yo mama's so fat, she wears an asteroid belt.

Yo mama's so fat, when she turns around, people throw her a welcome back party.

Yo mama's so fat, she can't even jump to a conclusion.

Yo mama's so fat, she wears a watch on each arm, one for each timezone.

Yo mama's so fat, she has to wear a three piece bathing suit.

Yo mama's so fat, she jumped in the ocean and the ocean jumped back and said "I'll wait my turn."

Yo mama's so fat, the back of her neck looks like a pack of hot-dogs.

Yo mama's so fat, she DJ's for the ice cream truck.

Yo mama's so fat, the last time she saw 90210 she was on a scale.

Yo mama's so fat, when she gets on the scale it says "To be continued."

Yo mama's so fat, when she weighed herself the scale gave her an equation.

Yo mama' so fat, she's moving the Earth out of its orbit.

Yo mama's so fat, I gain weight just by watching her eat.

Yo mama's so fat, she was floating in the ocean and Spain claimed her as a new world.

Yo mama's so fat, she went to the movies and sat next to everyone.

Yo mama's so fat, she has to iron her pants on the driveway.

Yo mama's so fat, her tailor takes her measurements in light years.

Yo mama's so fat, when she comes down the stairs she measures on the Richter scale.

Yo mama's so fat, she fell in love and broke it.

Yo mama's so fat, when she swims, she leaves stretch marks on the swimming pool.

Yo mama's so fat, she gets clothes in three sizes: extra large, jumbo, and oh-my-god-it's-coming-towards-us!

Yo mama's so fat, the shadow of her ass weighs 50 pounds.

Yo mama's so fat, she jumped up in the air and got stuck.

Yo mama's so fat, NASA is going to use her to fill the hole in the ozone layer.

Yo mama's so fat, I saw her in New York, and when I told my friend in LA, he'd seen her too.

Yo mama's so fat, after she got off the carousel, the horse limped for a week.

Yo mama's so fat, she puts on her lipstick with a paint-roller.

Yo mama's so fat, she sat on a dollar and made change.

Yo mama's so fat, she sat on four quarters and made a dollar.

Yo mama's so fat, she has to get out of the car to change gears.

Yo mama's so fat, she shows up on radar.

Yo mama's so fat, she stood in front of the Hollywood sign and it just said H d.

Yo mama's so fat, she had to roll over 4 times just to get an even tan.

Yo mama's so fat, she tried to get an all-over tan, and the sun burned out.

Yo mama's so fat, she uses a mattress for a maxi-pad.

Yo mama's so fat, she uses a pillow case as a sock.

Yo mama's so fat, her skates went flat.

Yo mama's so fat, her belly button doesn't have lint, it has sweaters.

Yo mama's so fat, she wears a VCR for a beeper.

Yo mama's so fat, she fell off a boat and the captain yelled "Land Ho!"

Yo mama's so fat, she's on both sides of the family.

Yo mama's so fat, when I tried to drive around her, I ran out of gas.

Yo mama's so fat, when she walks down the street everyone yells "Earthquake!"

Yo mama's so fat, the only thing stopping her from going to Jenny Craig is the door.

Yo mama's so fat, the only thing she lost at Jenny Craig was $29.95.

Yo mama's so fat, she sat on an Oreo and unlocked the magic.

Yo mama's so fat, they had to baptize her at Sea World.

Yo mama's so fat, she jumed in da ocean and the whales started singing "We are family!"

Yo mama's so fat, when her beeper went off, people thought she was backing up.

Yo mama's so fat, when she goes to the beach, little kids yell "Free Willy, Free Willy."

Yo mama's so fat, when she fell down the stairs, she rocked herself asleep trying to get up again.

Yo mama's so fat, on a scale of 1 to 10, she's a 747.

Yo mama's so fat, when she wears corduroy pants, the ridges don't show.

Yo mama's so fat, when she saw a yellow bus going down the road she yelled "Hey! Stop that Twinkie."

Yo mama's so fat, when she wears a red dress people yell "Hey Kool-Aid Man."

Yo mama's so fat, when she sat on a rainbow, Skittle's burst out.

Yo mama's so fat, when she tiptoes, everyone yells "Stampede!"

Yo mama's so fat, she makes sumo wrestlers look anerexic.

Yo mama's so fat, when she was born, she didn't get a birth certificate, she got blue prints.

Yo mama's so big, her belly button's got an echo.

Yo mama's so big, she can't wear an X jacket cause helicopters kept landing on her back.

Yo mama's so big, when she bent down to tie her shoes, her face got burnt from re-entry.

Yo mama's so big, when she went to the airport and said she wanted to fly they stamped Goodyear on her and sent her out to the runway.

Yo mama's so stupid, she spent twenty minutes lookin' at an orange juice box because it said "concentrate".

Yo mama's so stupid, I asked her do tricks for me and she wagged her tail.

Yo mama's so stupid, she put lipstick on her forehead because she wanted to makeup her mind.

Yo mama's so stupid, she asked me what yield meant. I said "Slow down" and she said "What...  does.... yield... mean?"

Yo mama's so stupid, she got stabbed in a shoot-out.

Yo mama's so stupid, if brains were gas she wouldn't have enough to power a flea-mobile around the inside of a Froot Loop.

Yo mama's so stupid, she needs twice as much sense to be a half-wit.

Yo mama's so stupid, she told me to meet her at the corner of "Walk" and "Don't Walk."

Yo mama's so stupid, she thought Tupac Shakur was a Jewish holiday.

Yo mama's so stupid, when I was drowning and yelled for a life saver, she said "Cherry or grape?"

Yo mama's so stupid, her latest invention was a glass hammer.

Yo mama's so stupid, she saw a billboard that said "Dodge Trucks" and she started ducking through traffic.

Yo mama's so stupid, when she threw a grenade at me I pulled the pin and threw it back.

Yo mama's so stupid, she got locked in Furniture World and slept on the floor.

Yo mama's so stupid, she thinks fruit punch is a gay boxer.

Yo mama's so stupid, she threw a rock at the ground and missed.

Yo mama's so stupid, she sat on the TV & watched the couch.

Yo mama's so stupid, she went to the store to buy a color TV and asked what colors they had.

Yo mama's so stupid, I saw her walking down the street yelling into an envelope, asked what she was doing, and she said sending a voice mail.

Yo mama's so stupid, if brains were dynamite, she wouldn't have enough to blow her nose.

Yo mama's so stupid, when she took you to the airport and a sign said "Airport Left," she turned around and went home.

Yo mama's so stupid, she put a ruler on her pillow to see how long she slept.

Yo mama's so stupid, she was locked in a grocery store and starved to death.

Yo mama's so stupid, she ran outside with a purse because she heard there was change in the weather.

Yo mama's so stupid, she couldn't tell which way an elevator was going if I gave her two guesses.

Yo mama's so stupid, she thought the internet was something you catch fish with.

Yo mama's so stupid, when asked what a pronoun was, she said a noun that gets paid.Yo mama's so stupid, when asked what a pronoun was, she said a noun that gets paid.

Yo mama's so stupid, she got hit by a cup and told the police that she got mugged.

Yo mama's so stupid, she tripped over a cordless phone.

Yo mama's so stupid, at bottom of application where it says Sign Here - she put Sagittarius.

Yo mama's so stupid, you can make her eyes twinkle by shining light in her ears.

Yo mama's so stupid, when she went by the YMCA she said "Hey, they spelled MACY's wrong."

Yo mama's so stupid, if she spoke her mind, she'd be speechless.

Yo mama's so stupid when she asked me what kinda jeans I wore, I said Guess and she said "Uhhh... Levis?"

Yo mama's so stupid, she jumped out the window and went up.

Yo mama's so stupid, she studied for a blood test and failed.

Yo mama's so stupid, she thought hamburger helper came with another person.

Yo mama's so stupid, she invented a solar powered flashlight.

Yo mama's so stupid, she invented glow in the dark sunglasses.

Yo mama's so stupid, she sold the car for gas money.

Yo mama's so stupid, she thinks Taco Bell is where you pay your telephone bill.

Yo mama's so stupid, she ordered a cheese burger from McDonald's and said "Hold the cheese."

Yo mama's so stupid, she put on a coat to chew winterfresh gum.

Yo mama's so stupid, she fell up the stairs.

Yo mama's so stupid, when she went to take the 44 bus, she took the 22 twice instead.

Yo mama's so ugly, when she looks in the mirror, the reflection ducks.

Yo mama's so ugly, she looks like she's been in a dryer filled with rocks.

Yo mama's so ugly, when she looks in the mirror, the reflection looks back shaking it's head.

Yo mama's so ugly, she looks like her face caught on fire and they put it out with a fork.

Yo mama's so ugly, the last time I saw something that looked like her, I pinned a tail on it.

Yo mama's so ugly, when she gets up, the sun goes down.

Yo mama's so ugly, when she moved into the projects, all her neighbors chipped in for curtains.

Yo mama's so ugly, Rice Krispies won't talk to her.

Yo mama's so ugly, her pillow cries at night.

Yo mama's so ugly, she makes blind children cry.

Yo mama's so ugly, her picture is on the inside of a Roach Motel.

Yo mama's so ugly, people hang her picture in their cars so their radios don't get stolen.

Yo mama's so ugly, she looked out the window and the police fined her for mooning.

Yo mama's so ugly, when she cries, tears run down the back of her neck.

Yo mama's so ugly, her dentist treats her by mail-order.

Yo mama's so ugly, she has to trick or treat over the phone.

Yo mama's so ugly, she makes onions cry.

Yo mama's so ugly, that if ugly were an Olympic event, she would be the dream team.

Yo mama's so ugly, Yo father takes her to work just so he doesn't have to kiss her good-bye.

Yo mama's so ugly, when she goes to the therapist, he makes her lie on the couch face down.

Yo mama's so ugly, even Bill Clinton wouldn't sleep with her.

Yo mama's so ugly, when she passes by a bathroom the toilet flushes.

Yo mama's so ugly, they put her face on box of Ex-Lax and sold it empty.

Yo mama's so ugly, when she walks in the kitchen, the rats jump on the table and start screaming.

Yo mama's so ugly, when she walks into a bank, they turn off the surveillance cameras.

Yo mama's so ugly, when she was born she was put in an incubator with tinted windows.

Yo mama's so ugly, when I last saw a mouth like hers, it had a hook in it.

Let's get off moms, 'cause I just got off yours.

I'm sorry, I shouldn't talk about Yo mama, 'cause I don't even know the man.

Yo mama's so stank, the only dis I want to give her is a disinfectant.

Yo mama smells so bad her Sure deodorant is confused and her Secret told on her.

Yo mama's so stank, she made Right Guard go left, Speed Stick slow down, and Ban come off strike.

Yo mama's so stank, a blind man walking by her asked "How much for the shrimp platter?"

Yo mama's so nasty, she went to a hair salon and told the stylist to cut her hair, then she opened up her blouse!!

Yo mama's so nasty, when I went to yo house said what's for dinner, yo mama put her foot up on the table and said "Corn!"

Yo mama's so nasty, she bit the dog and gave it rabies.

Yo mama's so poor, when I rang the doorbell she leaned out the window and said "DING!"

Yo mama's so poor, she has to wear her McDonald's uniform to church.

Yo mama's so poor, she has to do drive-by shootings on the bus.

Yo mama's so poor, I walked into her house, two roaches tripped me and a rat stole my wallet.

Yo mama's so poor, I lit a match in her house and the roaches started singing "Clap your hands, stomp your feet, praise the Lord 'cause we got heat!"

Yo mama's so poor, I went to her house and tore down some cob webs, and she said "Who's tearing down the drapes?"

Yo mama's so poor, she went to McDonald's and put a milkshake on layaway.

Yo mama's so poor, she lives in a two story Dorrito bag with a dog named Chip.

Have you heard the story about the old lady that lived in a shoe? Well Yo mama is so poor, she lives in a flip flop.

Yo mama's so poor, I went through her front door and ended up in the back yard.

Yo mama's so poor, she watches TV on an Etch-A-Sketch.

Yo mama's so poor, your TV got 2 channels: ON and OFF.

Yo mama's so poor, she can't even afford to pay attention.

Yo mama's so poor, TV dinner trays are her good china.

Yo mama's so poor, burglars break in and leave money.

Yo mama's so poor, the only time she smelled hot food was when a rich man farted!

Yo mama's so po, she can't even afford the last two letters.

Yo mama's like a birthday cake, everybody gets a piece.

Yo mama's so short, she can play handball on the curb.

Yo mama's so short, when she sneezes, she hits her head on the floor.

Yo mama's so short, she has to get a running start to get up on the toilet.

Yo mama's so short, she needs a ladder to pick up a dime.

Yo mama's so short, she can hang glide on a Dorito.

Yo mama's so short, her homies are the Keebler Elfs.

Yo mama's so short, you can see her feet on her driver's license.

Yo mama's so short, she tried to commit suicide with a pin.