Hello. My name iz Looztoof. Im one of dem gobbo types dat ya
admire ferm afar. Dis here is a chronicle of da life of me.
My ego is so large dat I will always be unbeatable. At least
In my goofy 'ead. Mind ya, I am not 'toopid. Im juzt a gobbo.
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Da Incarnation Of Looztoof. In dis here army I am up against dem crazy Empire humies. |
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Dis here is da result of my first battle wif da humies, empire. Check out da lessons learned |
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Dis iz a cunnin' army I putz together to fight dem Beastmen. Da so hairy! (2000pts) |
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Da Battle Report wif my army vs dem Beastmen, 2000 pts and lessons learned. |
The Incarnation Story of Looztoof. He will be my first attempt
at a 1500 point O&G army. The army below is all goblins, but i am open to
advice on any army composition of 1500 points. Oh yeah. No monsters are
allowed in this 1500 battle>
Hello. My name iz looztoof. Me and some ladz recently dung up sum neat
gizmos. Fer sum reazzon i seem to be respecretfel by other ladz now! I
decided ter ask Treehumpa (eva since those wood elfz lost a tree in a
fair fight to him), our wizze shaman whut all the fuss was ovr.
Looztoof asks, "Hey treehumpa. Whuts dis thingy and dat t'ingy? I found
dem in da woods in a small brick t'ingy all covered wif vinezerd. I
preumptley burnded it too! Do ya..."
Treehumpa fumes, "Shaddap and lemme see dem thingys!"
Treehumpa eyes dis and dat suspesioucly and gleams wit pride, "Looztoof!
You dunt kner whut dis iz?"
LoozToof nervously replies, "Err. nope. I dthouht you would know what dis
and dat is?"
Treehumpa begins to shake and shiver, "oh oh..i fink im gonna.."
Looztoof screams madly and goes to leave da room when...
Treehumpa says, "be real RICH!"
This stops Looztoof in hiz traks and sez, "huh? Glurp. I dot you wuz
gonna blow yer 'ead like NoEyes did yesserday"
Treehumpa excitedly announces, "You dolt! We huv wif us some of da most
powerfuuul magic i huv ever seen! You have founded a Ruby Chalice, a
butiful Crown of Command, and a magical armour of protection!"
Looztoof looks confused, "What dat does dat mean fer me?"
Treehumpa sighs, "Dont be so 'tupid! Just put these w'one!"
Looztoof wears the ruby chalice, the crown of command, and the armour of
protection.
Treehumpa says, "I will give dis here Bad Moon Banner to da git who will
show da world da power of Looztoof and Treehumpa! The Jade amulet will go
to MudSlinga' along wif da Banner of Might! Our boyz will be
unflagalantable! No more will da ladz run wit feer of da humies! Dis will
go to dis git, dat will go to dat git. ..." Looztoof listens to Treehumpa
blab on fer hourz of how great dey will be!
At this point Looztoof begins to go through some sort of metamorphisis.
His head begins to grow, to fit da new crown. He feels suddenly like he
should be leading an army to conquer the humies!
With this new found revelation Looztoof spends the next 12 years forming
a paltry band of goblins. (None of da big ladz [orcs] wanted any-ting ter
do wif da Looztoof's)
Army list:
Warlord LoozToof (conversion has Skarsnik's right hand removed. Da ya
know what his a hol'in? Yer know that 40,000 year bi**h of dem modern
elfs Jainsarse? Dat 4 prong weapon? Well. Somewho this weapon found
dits way back to where it belonged! In da hands of Looztoof!)
Looztoof is wearing: Crown of Command, Ruby Chalice, Armour of Protection.
Looztoof dont want to die!
Treehumpa, a NG Shaman Champion, has a Rod of Power and Dispel Scroll
Wetheairz, a NG Shaman, has a Dispel Scroll
BlueEyes, The BSB, carries the Bad moon Banner! (the banner now has a toof
glowing
bright yellow)
Big Boss FingaChewa has da Charmed Shield
33 NightGoblins - UnFlagalantables have a night goblin boss wif da Jade
Amulet. Dey also carre da Banner of might! Looztoof hangs out wif dese
ladz along with BlueEyes (cuz he always cuts out the eyes of humies if dey
be blue for his necklace!). FingaChewa may or may not be wif dese ladz.
A Big ugly ting dat stands like 500 feet tall and calls herself John Da
Giant follows us.
2 Doom Divers. Dese tings are fun! We play holly holly huck n' f'tree
wif em.
A Pumpwagon filled wif dem snotlings. Dey are funny.
16 Goblins , WifNoNames, wif a standard. Dese guys always follow
Treehumpa even doh treehumpa finks dey are 'toopid.
22 Night Goblins, CannonEaddaz, wif a war banner and a boss.
2 Fanatics
2 Fanatics
Wevv always gotz to tie dese guyz up when we go inta battle. Must be
sumting dey drink?
3 Squip Hoppas. Deze guyz are fun ta watch. We bets on who will get
eattern ferst.
Dats da boyz!!! 1500 points strong.
Looztoof asks, "I been cunningldely plan'n dez army fer 12 years now, what
would you do ter take out da humie EMPIRE wif a bunch of the goblin ladz
and dem Orc Boyz if yer was ta find all dis and dat magic as treehumpa
calls it?"
Halo, Looztoof here. This is my first battle against dem humies.
Looztoof learned a few tings about da ladz. My army was 1500 points
of Looztoof gobbos vs. 1500 points of empire.
Looztoof, warlord, armour of protection, ruby chalice,
crown of command. 2-handed sword.
Treehumpa, level 1 NG shaman.
4 other level 1 NG shamans wit-no-names.
NG goblin big boss - charmed shield, mad cap mushrooms,
goblin big boss - jade amulet, two handed sword
goblin big boss - two handed sword
33 NG w/ spears, bad moon banner, musician w/ 3 fanatics
w/ looztoof and NG big boss in unit
22 goblins, banner of might, musician
16 NG archers w/ 3 fanatics
3 squig hoppa
1 John the Giant (she loves her new dress we founded har)
2 doom divers
1 pump wagon
Da Empire (as much as i recall/know)
Da general (unkown magic items)
Da battle standard bearer (unknown magic item)
5 Knight Panther with the general & BSB
20 swordsman w/ hero (shrieking blade and ?), standard, musician
5 outriders
level 2 wizard w/ dispel scroll and skull staff.
5 halfings w/ bows
15 halfings w/ bows
3 mortars
Gobbo Side
Deployment fer de gobbo's (left to right)
2 squig hoppas behind hedge (sorta, hedge at a diaganol)
1 pump wagon by hedges
just right of hedges, 16 NG archers
center 33 NG spearmen
right-center 22 goblins
hill on right 2 doom divers (not battery)
left center, john the giant
behind right hedge, squig hoppa
Treehumpa behind the 33 NG's.
rest of da shaman ladz behind the lines.
Deployment for the empire (from gobbos left to right)
outriders behind forest w/ wizard
left-center knights panther unit
center swordsman
right center 5 halfings
right of the 5 halfings, 15 halfings
hill on right, 3 mortars as battery
Spells:
Empire had Fireball and hold fast
NG Shamans : had (Treehumpa) Waaagh, fists of gork, Ere we go,
Gaze of Mork, Mork Wants Ya!
Turn 1: Gobbo's
Da ladz, kicked in der rear by Looztoof light-footed it straight
across da board. All moving full movement forward. (its a cunning
plan, i know). The squig hoppers bounced slowly forward,
along with the pumpie. The doom divers launched into the air,
*splat* putting 1 wound on one mortar.
Da magic phase saw no 'eadbang and the 2 shamans ate shroom's.
We now have total power! Heh Heh. Which we hold onto. No magic got
off this turn.
Turn 1: empire
The outriders manuevered down the left side of the board,
while the wizard stay behind/left the knight panthers who stayed put.
The 5 halfings marched forward, but ended up 8.5 inches
away from Looztoofs mob! heh. try and get my fanatics out! *thpt*!
Shootie saw 2 mortars hit the doom divers, but no wounds! heh.
The halfings killed 1 goblin. 1 mortar shot out the gobbo but
deviated unto a squig hopper, splat! it died.
Fireball was unleashed into looztoof's lads, but no wounds. hheh.
Turn 2: gobbo's
oh no! the goblins failed an anomosity! But wait! they roll a 6,
go get em ladz! They now charged the 5 halfings. John squirted
past that combat to setup next turns charges. Looztoofs group sat
still to avoid losing dem fanatics. the 16 archers marched
forward, next turn the fanatics will be unleashed hopefully..the
2 remaining squig hoppers and pumpie moved forward SLOWLY [:(]
The doom divers went after the mortars again and *splat*
this time destroying one! DOH! The combat with the halfings
saw the halfings lose one and pass the break test. Da magic phase
saw a mental duel, which a NG lost (with the fists of mork, no
lost). Ere we go was out, ready just in case.
Turn 2: empire
The swordsmen charged John. The Knights inched forward slightly.
The outriders forgot to move, duh. The 15 halfings show into the
goblin/halfing combat. wiping out his own halfings and killing 5 goblins.
The remaining mortar missed its target of doomdivers. The general shot
and killed a squig hopper. HtH saw a combat resolution of +4 for the
swordsmen (no wounds done though) and John, not being too smart
but no idiot sang a lovely tune (yell and brawled). The swordsmen
failed and ran away. At this site, the halfing (15) ran away!
John the giant lumbered after the swordsmen and destroyed them.
The magic phase saw no spells get off, but 1 spell was lost due
to 'headbang (ere we go)
Turn 3: gobbo's
No charges. Da 16 NG ladz moved foward, releasing the fanatics. 2 wiz
through the knights doing a total of 7 strength 5 hits. 4 knights drop
dead and the general fails his test and flees! (har har har) John high
steps it after the 15 halfings. Looztoof's ladz march forward. The pump
wagon inched forward (damn low rolls) and the remaining squig hopper hopped
towards the outriders, remaining behing the hedges. Dem doom divers
unleashed 2 more to destroy the remaining mortar! Howwwwl! Waagh goes
off and kills the enemy wizzard. Too bad we are down to 2 spells,
lost another on the 'eadbang chart.
Turn 3: empire
General Rallies, outriders shift and shoot and the squig hopper,
missing...har har! The halfings rally and turn around to take on a charge.
Magic has nothing happen.
Turn 4: gobbo's
John charges the halfings! The squig hopper pounces on the
outriders, killing 2. They panic and flee! The squig hopper
bounces again, but fails to land on the fleeing outriders.
The pump wagon moves slowwwwly forward (mutter). The fanatics
whirl around, not hitting anything. Looztoofs fanatics are released
but only move 4,5, and 6 inches towards the empire general (doh!).
John jumps up n' down, killing 10 halfings! They flee and john
chases them off da board.
Magic see's nothing happen.
Turn 4: empire
The outriders fail to rally, the general (1 knights, the general and
BSB left) charge the gobblins, but only the one knight can engage
(clean charge angle blocked by fanatics). The knights lose the combat
(no wounds to either side) by 3 and flee! They arent caught,
but are broken! That leaves....well. nothing. The whole empire army
was wiped out, except the mortar crew (who we didnt even bother to panic
test for at this point from john breaking the halfings)
Looztoof's first time out and its a grand success! Da ladz celebrate
fer weeks. Dey weally luv dat game of catch wif da doom diver machine.
Lessons learned:
your gonna lose.
anything. They won the game. Too bad looztoof's ladz didnt get to make a swing.
The would have done OK i fink.
Looztoof gives you a 'toopid smile and sez, "Dat wuz fun! lez go find som morr
fings to fight!"
With that Looztoof and his ladz go back to drinking, forgetting all they had learned.
Looztoof scratches contently as he drink's some squig juice. Life is
good. He thinks back over the last 12 years and wonders in amazement how
his army has grown. For some reason da boyz are even joining his ranks.
It must be his good looks. <'toopid grin given>
Looztoof shuffles the crown of command back onto his tiny head, puts the
ruby chalice back on da string he had it on and smiles proudly at his
armor of protection.
Looztoof wobbles up n' down his army line, starting wif da ladz!
Looztoof fink's he will fight with 29 gobbo's armed wif spears and da
dread banner.
He keeps walking and smiles proudly at his 16 night goblin archaz. Dey
kicked arse last time against dem empire fingies. Da ladz also have 3
fanatics tied down, waitin' to harvest again..
The next group he goes by almost makes looztoof laff. Its dem snotlings,
2 big groups of em. Dey are pickin' der nose! Yuck! Looztoof looks over
his shoulder ta see the night gobbo's pickin' der nose too! Whatcha expect
from des hear fings. Dey 'toopidader den a gobbo.
Still chuckling, Looztoof marches past a pump wagon, and another pump
wagon, and yet a another pump wagon! Wow. 3 of des fingies. Looztoof
wonders if dey will get past the campfires this time and do sum damage.
As he smiles at his own joke he falls head first into a big hole in da
ground. A booming noise, can be heard next to Looztoof. Looztoof looks
over and sees John. She is lookin' mighty pretty today, all 18 feet of
her.
John is a big giant and loves when looztoof comes to visit before a big
rucus. Always tripping over john's purty shoes
Looztoof wipes da dirt off his armor and mutters a few obscentities about
"double-D's" and 300 yards of leather hide to hold dem up..
Da next unit looztoof visits always makes looztoof gap in awe. Its dem
shaman types. 3 Night goblin shamans, busy concocting dat favorite drink
of the night ladz.
A shaman savage orc lord packin' magic war paint, jade amulet, dispel
scroll, rod of power, halberd and warboar is busy lecturing a Savage Orc
Big Boss wif da black amulet and amber amulet wif a halberd and war boar
'bout the better ways to drink beer. Sumfing about a funnel and some
hose???? 5 Savage orc boar boyz sit around admiring their own war paints.
One of dem is carrying the standard of shielding too!
Looztoof is proud dat da savage orc's come and follow dem. The savage orc
shaman lord even brought along 16 Big'Uns wif spears and a magic war
banner.
Da last stop in his army, he is so proud, is da squig hoppers. Des guys
hafta be tied down and away from da main ladz and boyz else they eat dem.
Der are 2 of dem. Also tied up over here are 3 goblin wolfs da pull a
chariot with 4 ladz in dem. The chariot has scythe thingies.
Looztoof makes his way back to his tent, anxious for the battle against
beastmen dat will be happenin' soon.
Looztoof says, "Whatcha fink. Aint dis da best army ya ever seen? If ya
could field an army like mine, what would ya change? Not that I will
listen to you, as my ladz and boyz are perfectly combined into
Da best army EVER!".
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Looztoof ran around madly trying to control da ladz as they jeered
and tried to insult da boyz. It seems tis fightin' time and Looztoof's
army is more interested in bashin' each odda's heads.
After Looztoof crushes a few of da ladz heads in, dey stop der insultz
and notice all dem hairy fingies across the valley. Dey sure is ugly!
It looks like Looztoof and Co. have plum run into a band of beastmen,
heading south ter invade dem humies. Looztoof wuvs a good fight and getz
da ladz and boyz a hootin and hollerin. Ready fer a good ole fight.
Da Orcs Army:
(a)Looztoof, Goblin Warlord, Crown of Command, Ruby Chalice, Armour Prot.
Wif him is a Big Boss Goblin wif da parry blade and Van Horstmans Spec.
Dese two ladz are leading 28 gobbo's wif standard, muscian and banner
of defiance.
(b)SavageO Shaman Master wif a warboar, jade amulet, rod of power,
dispel scroll & halberd.
SavageO Big Boss wif a warboar, Black Amulet, Amber Amulet and halberd.
Dese two are leadin' 5 SavageO boar boyz wif spears, standard of shielding
(c)5 Night Gobbo Archers wif 3 fanatics hidden here.
(d,e,f)3 night gobbo shamans
(g)John da. TV giant
(h)16 big uns wif spears, and da magical war banner. A boss is wif em too!
(i,j,k)3 Squig hoppas
(l,m,n)3 snotling pump wagons
(o)goblin wolf chariot wif 3 wolfies and 4 crew and scythe thingies.
(p)2 bases of snotlings.
Da Beasmen (much as I know)
(1)Level 3 Beastmen Shaman (warlord) (black amulet, chaos armour,crown of command)
leading - 15 Gors wif war banner, musician, halberds
champion w/ slaneesh scepter of domination and BSB with banner of defiance
(2)level 1 beastmen shaman in chariot w/ scythe (staff of flaming death)
and dread banner
(3)level 1 beastmen shaman in chariot w/ scythe (shrieking blade)
(4)12 ungors, skirmish unit
(5)3 chaos trolls with double handed weapons
(6)8 chaos hounds w/ champion on daemonic steed
(7)6 harpies
(8,9)2 units of ungors 6 strong
Da Terrain had forest's and buildings on both the left and right dat
left an ally for each side to attack through. The center of da
battlefield had 2 hedges (6" each) angled to make it very hard
to take big units anywhere but the middle. (to the left and right of each
hedge respectively were woods 5-8" away).
Deployment:
8 11 777
8 11 66
8 11 55 99 66
2 forest 4 4 4 4 4 4 4 4 forest 3
forest
building hedge hedge
forest forest
o ijk l c hh m aa p g n bb f
o d hh aa p
aa e
Turn 1 Beastmen:
Turn one went quickly, with the beastmen advancing straight ahead. Most
took their full movement. I believe everyone passed their animosity on turn
one. WoM were not here this whole game, and only 4 WOM cards dealt out.
No spells were cast.
Turn 1 LoozToof's army:
Looztoof couldn't control his band of gobbo's. They were insistent
on giving the "peace" sign to the Big'Uns. The rest of the army rattled
foward. The chariot parked itself behind the building, guarding the
flank from the beastmen chariot. the 2 left pump wagons moved 10 and
11 inches. Little further than looztoof wanted. The magic phase
saw Mork Wants Ya yank the beastmen general into the air!
Turn 2 Beastmen:
The beastmen found themselves in dire straights. Their leadership 10
out the window, animosity and stupidity set in. The trolls just sat
their and stared and a unit of 6 ungors decided to bicker and not move.
The beastmens unit stayed still, not wanting to lose their general and
hoping for a dispel WOM card. The chariots manuevered for a charge.
The skirmish ungors moved in and released the fanatics. one fanatic hit
causing 4 wounds. The ungors, without their general's leadership, paniced
and fled 10 inches.
The harpies landed behind the O&G army, waiting to pick off something.
WOM AGAIN was low (we averaged a 4 i think). The Skull of Flaming Death
did go off and caused the goblin wolf chariot a wound, a panic test was
taken and the wolf chariot fled in terror. Looztoof yelled out dat dey
wuz cowards and ti git back in da fight!
Turn 2 Looztoof's army:
The giant moved to the flank of the chaos hounds and the forest
behind him to gaurd his (her?) flank from the chariot.
The pump wagons *crawled* forward this turn. The wolf chariot
rallied!! The Big'Uns failed their
animosity and got go get 'em! They moved towards the left beastmen
chariot. The fanatics whirled around, not hitting anything. (amazing).
Looztoof and his band moved forward. The savage orc's moved forward
and to the left of the right hedge. The snotlings moved forward-right
to guard the right flank from chaos hounds and/or the chariot.
The rightmost pump wagon moved over towards the right side of the
right hedge. Magic phase saw Da Krunch direct hit to the Gor's, causing
7 wounds! (3 die). The beastmen failed to dispel their poor general. Mork
was with dem greenskins! Nothing else was cast with close to no WOM (even
mushrooms were rolling 1's and 2's). No 'eadbangs the whole game
either. amazing..
Turn 3 Beastmen army:
The troll's stupidly lumbered forward at 1/2 movement.
No one paniced from the fleeing ungors, who did rally.
Both chariots charged and the chaos hounds charged. The
big'uns flee from the one chariot. the pump wagon flee's
from the hounds/#2chariot. The hounds catch the pump wagon. :(
Magic phase saw nothing happen. again WoM was 4. The beastmen warlord
still hanging in mid air..
Turn 3 Looztoof army:
The SO's have to charge due to frenzy. They reach the trolls, but clip their
own unit loosing the charge bonuses. Even so, the SO's go first and
cause 9 wounds! Four caused by the big boss and 4 caused by the shaman.
The 2 remaining pump wagons missed the beastmen by 1 inch each! (argh)
John caused another unit to flee or be destroyed (they fled). The
squig hoppa's (#1 and #2) bounced on the left ungors and caused
them to panic. They put a wound on the chariot also, but that was
all.
At this point, after the trolls were decimated, the beastmen decided to flee
and fight another day. The battle ended a Looztoof army victory (now 2 for
2!)
Lessons Learned:
1)Yank an enemies general in a low leadership army and watch the army
stop functioning. I think we all know this first hand though, dont we :)
2)Pump wagons are feared by all. If you combine several to guard each other
you do much better. Keep them within 12" of your general at all times.
3)Snotlings can even be feared. No one wants to be tied up with a unit
that doesnt break and gives you little victory. I think taking 4 snotlings
in future games will be a great way to guard a flank. If you really
want to protect the flank of your general's unit, get 8 snotling bases and
put 4 on each side. You can pretty much insure they will be around
long enough to stop from being flanked. Their only downside is vs.
shootie armies. Even with 12 wounds, a toughness of 1 will disappear quickly.
But hey, if the enemy really wants to kill a 60 pt unit (4 bases) go for
it. Meanwhile my pump wagons, chariots, wolfriders/boarboyz will decimate
em!
4) Orc's provide a tremendous amount of variety. If you can mold an
army together they are very hard to stop. There will always be those
bad days of nothing but "1's", but its worth it. O&G is the way to go for
sheer enjoyment and endless combinations. Use them fully and have fun!!
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