The Nuts-tastrophy

The hour of nine rang as I sat upon the grass
Holding my UWI ID, or rather my Nuts pass.
My very first time, my anxiety could not be sated
For this moment, how long have I waited.
That famed of places made legendary in tales
My chance had now come, so what if courses failed?
The music, the women, the free drinks till eleven!
I smiled as I thought "Tis indeed shall be heaven"
I awaited the shuttle with ticket in hand
And with a clap of thunder the downpour began.
"No matter," I thought as I ran for cover,
And the downpour worsened, when suddenly no other
Did I see but lights thru the rain.
The shuttles had arrived at the gates of main.
Desperate to be the first, I bolted thru the shower,
Glancing at my watch... twas half past the hour.
But the shuttle sped pass at such a pace,
That mud, grit and grime did I receive in my face.
My outfit was ruined, this was not good.
But with time on my side I did as I should.
To home and back I quickly did scamper,
With a batch of fresh clothes, straight from the hamper.
The rain had stopped, and the shuttle was leaving.
I ran as hard as I could, begging and pleading.
"I'll stand in the isle, it does not matter!!"
They pulled me on board and I fell with a clatter.
With a sigh of relief I looked at my watch again,
And with much disbelief, saw that it was ten.
Tired was I, yet I stood thru the ride
Anxiety once again building... or was that a stitch in my side?
Then finally we arrived, I stood and beheld
The glory that was Nuts... of which stories did tell.
Slowly I climbed the stairs to the door,
And reached for my ID which was there no more.
In the hamper at home my ID did lay,
And forty dollars was the damage to pay.
I stumbled into the darkness, pushed this way and that,
To the strains and sounds of the one-and-only Super Cat.
Eventually my way I did fight to the bar,
And ordered a Screwdriver, I saw the 'tender's lips go ajar.
He demanded over the din,"That'll be fifty cents and seven!"
The time on my watch said five past eleven.
Thirsty and beaten I reached for my purse
But my hand came back empty... and man did I curse!
So weary, beaten, broke and taken,
To the walls I made, and assumed the position.
Haggard and drained I stood in the corner,
No dance, no women... salt was the order.
A glance at my watch... a quater past two.
Now I had figured, nothing more could I do.
And then as I rose, I saw her standing there,
A goddess, a prize... no one could compare.
Our eyes locked and instantly I felt,
That if I got just one dance, in my arms she would melt.
I strode over to her, the rest of the world ignored,
She saw my approach and flashed a smile most broad.
In the fire of her eyes, my trials were forgotten,
My test was at an end, and the reward was heaven.
I drew her to me and wrapped my arms about her waist.
Her arms flung round my neck in a passionate embrace.
The music rang slow, this was to be our song
But then darkness struck... the power was gone.
In the mayhem that followed, from my neck she was wrung,
And visciously, to the floor I was flung.
Trampled and confused I stayed there waiting,
Unsure of what just happened and still debating
How long I sat there, I really did not know.
But silence rang out... twas the end of the show.
The lights then returned, and I was alone.
I rose and looked, and felt a chill to the bone,
Standing there broken, the realization did dawn,
With my wallet stolen, my shuttle ticket was gone.
I fell to my knees, grasping to fleeting images of her,
My name is Colin... and I am a sufferer.