Cy's Dictatorship
"Oh, he wants to conquer the world completely,
but first he'll conquer me discreetly."
--Space
Why You Should
Probably Want Me to Become Dictator
Let's face it. Our
world leaders just aren't cool. They lack that certain flair, that touch of
style. Ronald Pia can tell you this. Plus, they're all sane. They aren't willing
to do the small things for their countries and they're so busy worrying about
other nations that they can't concentrate on what's really important.
Since as Supreme Dictator of Everything, I really would have no other countries
to worry about, I could implement many changes. First off, I could ban elevator
music. Second, I could make arrogant, smug billionaires give me their money.
True, that's more of a personal benefit, but it is still worth noting. Three,
people wouldn't be allowed to wear anything from fitting or tight. They have
to be naked most of the time. Just think of how great that would be! These are
only some of the vital changes I could make.
There has been some muttering about my plan to ban wristwatches, but faithful
follower Steven has pointed out that would certainly descrease efficiency in
my world, so I've changed my mind about this. And I got him a hangware watch
anyway. See what a generous leader I am? I listen to my followers and take their
advice seriously. What other world leaders do that?
Finally, we should all realize that I just deserve to be the leader of everything.
I mean, we all know that sooner or later Bill Gates will take over everything.
Who would you rather have as your leader? Him or me? The person who made Windows
'95, a fake thirty two bit operating system, the standard in computing or someone
who creates funny web pages and laughs a lot?
"I am a firm believer in the philosophy of a ruling class...
especially since I rule."
-- Clerks
A Short, But Crucial
Telling of the History of My Plans
My future subjects,
a few months ago, while writing email to an acquaintance of mine, I started
to become bored with the usual "what's up?" and "how's classes?". So, I didn't
write that. Instead, I wrote a two page email, declaring that one day I would
be ruler of Earth and I described my rule to her. She wrote back, "how are you
going to take over Earth?" Well, that warranted another long email about the
beginning of my plans.
Never one to be normal, I happened to mention my plan to another few friends
of mine (John V, Gary R, Peter C.) , who immediately renamed me as a dictator.
I shrugged and said, "okay". I mean, if I'm ruler of the world, who cares what
the title is? Then they lobbied for the positions of "co-vice-dictators". I
didn't take to kindly to this as first, since this might lead to my demise from
the hands of an ambitious vice-dictator, besides... the term vice-dictator just
seemed silly. They pointed out they were my best friends and that in the case
of my death, didn't I still want a unified people? I thought, I'd be dead, who
cares, but did take note that they were my best friends. So, my first officials
and followers came about.
Normally, that would have been the end of it, but I happened to mention it to
another friend over the phone as a joke. He became taken with it and said he'd
be a follower too, if I promised never to fence him in.(He still is in fact,
my most devoted follower, and a good little bro. Thank you, Ronald
Pia.) I proclaimed him my official royal sidekick/chef and he
still garners additional roles in my dictatorship to this day.
After a bit, it just became habit to ask new friends if they'd like to be part
of my dictatorship plans. Some laughed, some shrugged, a few actually said yes.
Then, one day as I was talking to a friend, he coined the term "Future Supreme
Dictator of Everything". I thought to myself, wow, if I'm going to be a dictator,
there's a title to have. Thus, my official quest for dictatorship began. As
for my plans, I'm sorry, you can't be told. You might try and stop me. Perhaps
if you join my dictatorship, I might let you in on my secret plans.
I should point out that if you send me a message telling me that you're going
to take over the world instead, it's already been done... a few times. Not only
do I think that I'll ruthlessly overcome your pitiful rebellion, I also believe
that you've doomed yourself if you tell me. Give up and accept my benevolent
(sort of) rule.
"When you've got talent like ours, the world is your oyster."
-- Calvin & Hobbes
Some People You Can
Blame
This is just a quick
sampling of a few people in my dictatorship, to show you what kind of power
you could wield if you supported me. Write me and let me judge if you're good
enough to join my plots. A few have already done so and have received my pledge
of good treatment and rewards. Join them while you can.
Cy
Rityavong, the boy with a crown and a scepter.
do yourself a favor, mail him at cinq112@yahoo.com