** Write Me Something! **

"Love letters, business contracts and money due you always arrive
three weeks late, whereas junk mail arrives the day it was sent." 

Examples of Letters You Can Write

Mean Nasty Letter:

Dear Cy,

Unfortunately, I came across a link to your page on (insert person's namehere)'s Home Page. Your page looked like it might somehow be informative and/or interesting. Now I realize the pathetic truth. Your page is undeserving of the hard drive space it takes up on your server. Your humor page was unfunny and I've never heard of the Stinkers. You and your web page disgust me as do the hideous questions you asked.

I can't believe people like you assume that I want to hear about your obnoxious interests. You belong on AOL with all the other lame people allowed on the internet. The only reason I'm even writing you is to tell you the horrible truth and beg you to take your web page off your server. Save some other poor innocent and unsuspecting soul of the horror that was visited upon me today.

The most I can actually say for your page is that it didn't contain pictures of your pets. Let me tell you, if you were the last male on earth, I would not want to further the human race. If you ever took over as Supreme Dictator of Everything, I'd do the world a favor and detonate nuclear bombs.

A Disgusted Individual,
Jane Doe

Nice Happy Letter:

Dear Cy,

I came across your page today and I want to tell you that it was terrific. I rarely come across web pages as nice as yours. I have added you to my list of bookmarks. Your humor page made me laugh and I love the Stinkers. I'll send you my money sometime soon to support your plots.

I will also send you an answer to your requests. But now I must go and send email to all my closest friends about this cool page you run. I don't suppose you could possibly send me email every time you update your silly section, could you?

You have cool hobbies and you seem to be an interesting person. Remember to put up more web pages soon so I can come here more often. Thanks for reading this.

An Admiring Individual,
John Doe

You have four choices right now. You can: