Small Wonder

Back in the late 80's there was a television show that aired called "Small Wonder". I was fascinated by this program because it was a first run television series that didn't appear on network stations. It also freaked me out very, very badly.

For those of you that aren't aware of the show (and if you don't think you remember it, this forthcoming description will most likely jog your memory) it was about a little robot girl who was built in the garage and lived with the family of the guy who built her. They were the Lawsons, Ted (the father), Joan (the mother), and Jaimie (the brother). There also was the Brindles, the Lawsons next store neighors, which was basically Brandon Brindle (who was Ted's co-worker at work) and Harriet (who was brandon's red headed daughter). They were always snooping arond the Lawson's house.

There were many things that blew my mind about this show the most important of which was the fact that Vici (the name of the little girl robot) slept in Jaimie's bedroom's toy cabinet. Jamie would get up in the morning and open his toy cabinet and there would be Vici standing there with this look on her face. I can only describe the look as the look of the walking dead. This horrified me. I would lay in bed at night and think about the show. Was there a lifeless girl robot hiding in my closet wearing a red and white Heidi dress with a look that screams "I want to swallow your soul"?

Around this time I began sleeping with my head in the crack between my bed and my bedroom wall. I would think about the show all night long with my head in the crack. I just couldn't believe how bad that show sucked. It was a family show to the creepiest degree, the acting was bad, the jokes corny. It just really had no purpose in this world. I decided to start taping every episode becuase I knew in the future, no one would believe such a show ever existed.

This brings about the real reason for this article and how it pertains to this website. Around 1990, the show had already went off the air, and i was just sitting around watching my Small Wonder tapes. This was really the begining of the Anal Log. I truely believe I was brainwashed by Small Wonder. I began fantasiziing about destroying everything and rebuilding it in the name of Lawson Family Values. A Small Wonder world would be great. Everyone would be creepy and happy.

Not Long after that I went off to college. I hid my Small Wonder tapes in the closet. One night at about three a.m i was sitting in my room alone with the lights turned off watching Small Wonder. Suddenly someone burst through my door. I remember sitting there like a deer stuck in headlights. I was frozen in panic. I felt like I had just been caught masturbating. My Small Wonder secret was over. I knew from that momment on that my college life would be nothing but ridicule and pain.

Who walked through that door you ask? Why none other than anal log co-founder Travis. Instead of ridiculing me he screamed out a "hell yeah!" and began throwing the international devil hand gesture in my face. I told him to sit and began telling him of my plans to make the world "lawsonized". He was totally down with it. From that point on until present day we have been spreading the word of the Anal Log and someday YOU, male and female, will be forced by the government to wear red and white Heidi dresses. I promise you that.

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