Signs That You May Be a Complete Star Wars Addict:

   * You watch the entire trilogy at least once a month.
   * You don't need a TV and VCR to watch the movies.
   * You know at least 10 Star Wars website addresses by heart.
   * You know all the forms in which it's been released (theater, Pan &Scan
     video, Letterbox, Laserdisc, etc.) and know the differences between
     them.
   * You can recite *all* the dialogue from the entire trilogy.
   * You quote the trilogy at apropos moments.
   * You draw comparisons to Star Wars in casual conversation.
   * You shell out 10 bucks for a magazine that describes the planet
     Tatooine.
   * When your alarm clock goes off in the morning, your reply is,
     "Unexpected this is... and unfortunate!"
   * You know the names of all major cast members and what they're doing
     now.
   * You have a list of major bloopers and inside jokes in your head.
   * You would feed yourself to the rancor if it meant finding out the name
     of Anakin's wife.
   * You're always game to hear the latest rumor about the new films.
   * Even if you don't buy the spinoff material, you know it's out there,
     who wrote it, who published it, and you can probably give a synopsis
     of it.
   * You can pick more nits out of a spinoff novel than Lucas himself.
   * You hunt through ROTJ frame-by-frame searching for the shoe.
   * You have gone over ANH and ESB frame-by-frame, just in case someone
     put a shoe in there, too.
   * You think John Williams is the greatest composer ever lived.
   * You wonder why the SW theme never makes it into any of those
     "Classical Collections"...
   * You make lists like "101 Uses for An Ewok," OR "Signs You May Be a SW
     Addict!" (no comment)
   * Your internet handle or signature refers to Star Wars.
   * Your friends regularly quiz you on SW factoids.
   * Whenever you buy a new appliance, you always make sure and get that
     one that speaks Bocce.
   * You know more about the major characters' personalities than Lucasfilm
     does.
   * When something is just out of your reach, you close your eyes and try
     to "force" it into your hand.
   * When your professor hands you back a paper and says, "Commas are your
     weakness," you retort, "And your faith in your friends is yours!!"
   * You know all the words to that Ewok song.
   * Everytime someone tells you one of their deepest secrets you gloat and
     say, "You're far too trusting."
   * You insist on telling people the odds about everything!
   * People tell you to stop saying, "I have a bad feeling about this" so
     often.
   * You are counting the days until movie one of the prequels.
   * You can't pick up a flashlight without waving it around and humming.
   * You think the babblings of Yoda are relevant and useful to everyday
     life.
   * When you experience insomnia, you begin counting nerf.
   * You know what a nerf is.
   * When you put Star Wars in the VCR and push "play," it's like you're
     being transported to another world.
   * Someone mentions being abducted by little green men and you respond by
     pointing out that Yoda would never do such a thing!
   * You find yourself discussing characters from the books and movies as
     if they were actually old friends of yours.
   * You don't need subtitles when an alien speaks in one of the movies.
   * You have a pet named after one of the characters.
   * You have a child named after one of the characters or stars.
   * You truly believe you are strong in the Force.
   * Yoda and Ben appears to you in your dreams and you take their advice
     on a regular basis.
   * A SW *.wav file plays on your computer whenever you do a windows
     application.
   * You truly believe, after 13 years, that the new movies will be
     released any day now.
   * When you get in trouble and your parents decide to punish you, they
     know that the only way they'll get through to you is by taking away
     your privilege to watch Star Wars.
   * You dream about Star Wars, both at night and during the day.
   * When you read SW books, you can see it happening in your head.
   * You can't read a quote from one of the movies without acting like the
     person who actually said it!
   * James Earl Jones will ALWAYS be Darth Vader to you, no matter what
     other role he is in.
   * You are saving your money now. Because the special editions and
     prequels are coming out soon and you know that what you want to do
     will require a lot of money!! :)

jgris@epix.net

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