YOU'RE NOT A JUNKIE UNTIL....

   * When you're looking through your drawer for that other black sock, you
     aid your search by telling yourself, "Lock on to the strongest power
     source, it SHOULD be the power generator."
   * When riding your bike, you look behind you and accelerate wildly by
     pressing down on the petal with your right toe.
   * You've ever pretended the orange in your lunchbox was a thermal
     detonator, and thought about using it to get a better price at the
     milk counter.
   * You've made your Kenner Darth Vader figure a "proper" cloak out of
     cloth, to replace the cheap vinyl one he came with.
   * You've kept the "good" action figures stored separately from the "bad"
     ones.
   * Whenever you went anywhere outside with your friends, you always
     walked single file, to hide your numbers.
   * You've written several letters to the President recommending that he
     dissolve the council, put power in the hands of the regional
     governors, and let fear keep the local systems in line.
   * In college, after several hours of poker, you got thrown our of the
     game for suggesting, "How about some sabacc?"
   * You believe there really is a Lando System, they just haven't found it
     yet!
   * You've ever called somebody "laserbrain' - and meant it.
   * You've ever used fishing line to try the snow speeder - tow cables
     maneuver on your cat.
   * When you and a friend have been on one of those amusement park rides
     where you had to sit back to back, and you started calling him Dack
     and told him to stop whining about his approach vector.
   * Whenever your mother asked you to babysit your little brother, you
     always instilled confidence by replying, "leave him to me. I will deal
     with him myself."
   * When trying unsuccessfully to snare that last Cheerio floating in your
     cereal bowl, you remarked, "the Force is strong with this one."
   * On Halloween, you would never dress as one of the following:
                                      Luke
                                    Han Solo
                                      Leia
                                      Vader
                                     Chewie
                                    Threepio
                                      Artoo
     However, you would dress as:
                                      Wedge
                                     Porkins
                                   Crix Madine
                      that spider droid from Jabba's palace
                       that fat dancer from Jabba's palace
                                   Sy Snootles
             Imperial Death Star firing officers (dorky hat patrol)
                          Mos Eisley Cantina bartender
                                The sewer monster
                                   Boba Fett!
                             An Imperial probe droid

   * You always kept a bowl filled with live three-legged frogs next to
     your bed, just in case you wanted a snack.
   * As a child, whenever you had broken something, your response was
     always, "It must've had a self-destruct mechanism. I didn't hit it
     that hard."
   * You actually CAN move things with the Force.
   * You've refused to enter a cave/cavern/tunnel without a handgun and a
     large stick.
   * You've told the mall Christmas elf, "You will take me to Santa now."
   * When someone had apoligized to you, you choked him and told him that
     you accepted his apology.
   * You've told people that you're fluent in over 6 million forms of
     communication.
   * When you waited for a friend to catch up with you, you told him to
     hurry up or he'd be a permanent resident.
   * The girl you've been going out with suddently tells you she loves you
     and you said, "I know."
   * You've bought Wing Commander III and/or IV just because Mark Hamill
     was in it!
   * You've composed lyrics to the SW theme.
   * You've tried to create your own Yoda puppet out of a green sock and
     some buttons.
   * You have lightsaber duelled with cardboard tubes, rolled up
     periodicals, or common garden vegetables.
   * When nobody else is around, you've seriously tried to draw something
     into your hand with the Force.
   * You've used one of Solo's lines in an intimate situation.
   * You've been pulled over by a policeman and when asked to see your
     drivers' liscence you replied, "You don't need to see my
     identification."
   * You have physically threatened anyone who referred to "Hans Solo" or
     "Dark Vader", confused Star Wars with Star Trek, or spellied Wookiee
     with only one "e."
   * You have held up an onion ring and said, "Look sir, droids."
   * You've referred to Wedge Antilles or Boba Fett as "The Man."
   * Everytime you put a glove on your right hand you say... "that's right,
     Artoo. We're going to the Dagobah System. I have a promise to keep to
     an old friend."
   * You've ever found yourself in a chat room, training Jedi.
   * You've tried to make your own lightsaber.
   * You've gotten into a fist fight with a Trekkie.
   * You've told family and friends that your children LOVE Star Wars, even
     though they really don't, just so you can play with the toys!
   * You've bought a white Isuzu Trooper, strictly because of the name!

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