Disclaimers in part 1

*********

Samantha followed Jack down the labyrinth of corridors. How the hell did she ever find her way around this place? Each hallway looked the same: grey concrete, with black and yellow hazard striping being the only thing breaking up the depressing monotony.

Jack stopped in front of a heavy metal door, painted a deeper shade of grey. "We'll stow our gear here," he said, opening the storage closet. "We'll have to backtrack to go to the control room."

From here she had a vague idea of the floor plan. Jack, Daniel and Teal'c had made her a map of sorts to give her a basic knowledge of the locations of the briefing, control and embarkation rooms. Jack gave her hand a quick squeeze before bursting into the control room, reciting his "lines."

"Geeze, Carter! Do we have to go over this *now?* Can't it wait until morning?"

"It is morning, sir."

"I mean a reasonable hour, like 0800 or somethin'?"

"Sir, these calculations could effect the upcoming missions and I don't want anyone to go through the Stargate before I've had a chance to double check them."

"Fine, but what do you need me here for?"

"I need someone to feed in coordinates as I double-check them," she said taking a seat before a keyboard. Looking up then she noticed the Airman who'd jumped to her feet the minute they'd entered the room.

"At ease, Airman," Jack dismissed her. "It's way too early for all that," he smiled at the young woman.

"Yes, sir!"

"Look, uh, Donnatelli," Jack said, reading the woman's nameplate, "Carter and I seem to have to correct some doohicky with the computer before the next SG mission. Are we gonna be in your way?"

"*My* way, sir?!"

"Well, yeah. I know this is your watch and all. Hey, as long as we're here, why don't you take a break. There's no one expected back in, is there?"

"No, sir. No one until 0900."

"Okay, then. Why don't you take fifteen. I'm sure the Captain and I can hold down the fort."

"Well, sir, if you don't mind. . . . I guess I could use a bit of a break."

"Knock yourself out, Donnatelli," Jack said, giving her his most endearing smile.

"Thank you, sir, ma'am," Donnatelli said, exiting the room.

Samantha waved her hand absentmindedly in the air as the woman left. Once the door shut, Samantha slumped in her chair, exhaling the breath she'd been holding.

"See?" Jack said, "that wasn't so hard, was it?"

"I think I can probably swallow my heart now," she said.

"Okay, we've got to move here. Just because I told her fifteen minutes, that doesn't mean she's going to take that long. Here's your console," Jack said, pointing to a keyboard across the room from his. "You go first."

Samantha entered the code she'd familiarized herself with. "Done."

She listened to Jack's fingers tapping on the keys. "All right. That should knock out the cameras in the hallway and the gate room. As we leave we press this key and that'll seal the blast doors. Time to dial up Arrissa, " he said.

For the first time Samantha had a moment to look up and out the glass of the control room. She gasped when she saw the 'gate. So like Daniel's drawing, yet nothing had prepared her for the shear size of the object. It was immense! And it was real! Up until now, she didn't know if she completely bought what Jack had been telling her. But here, before her, was solid evidence of all he and the others had told her.

She was still standing before the windows, gaping, when Jack grabbed her arm. "Come on, Samantha. We have to get down there before all the chevrons are encoded."

They raced out of the control room, Jack hitting the last key needed to secure the embarkation room. Grabbing their gear from the closet, they just made it inside the gate room before the heavy doors closed, sealing them inside.

"That's the sixth one," Daniel noted as the inner ring of the Stargate stopped spinning and a lighted "lock" encoded.

"Stand back," Jack warned her as the seventh chevron locked and the wormhole established itself. A blue bubble of light and energy exploded out over the ramp, causing Samantha to take a step back.

"Whoa! That's *incredible!*"

She felt Jack take her hand. "It's okay. See? It's settled down now." Jack was right. The center of the Stargate was now filled with a shimmering, almost liquid-appearing substance.

Just then a voice came over the P.A. System. "Colonel O'Neill, sir! Stop! You haven't been authorized to use the gate at this time!"

"Okay, kids, that's our cue to get outta here. I'm sure she's on the phone to Hammond."

Daniel and Teal'c ran up the ramp, disappearing into the blue without a trace.

"You're turn," Jack said, hustling her up the ramp.

Samantha stopped, inches from entering the ring. "It really doesn't hurt?"

"I told you. You'll probably be nauseous and you will be cold, but that's all. I know you'd like to explore this more, but we got to go before they get that door open."

Samantha took a moment to look into Jack's eyes before stepping through the event horizon. "See you on the other side."

*********

Daniel and Teal'c were waiting to catch Samantha as she came through the gate. God! She'd never felt so frozen in her life! When Jack told her she'd be cold, she had no idea! Suddenly the urge to vomit was overpowering, eclipsing the pain of the cold. Teal'c and Daniel must have recognized the signs, quickly leading her away from the Stargate to some bushes that flanked the dais.

"Easy, Samantha," Daniel said, rubbing her back. It does that to all of us. It just takes a little getting used to.

"Samantha?" Jack called.

"Down here, Jack," Daniel said, his hand still on Samantha's back.

Jack jumped off the rocks, joining them in the brush. "How ya doin', Kiddo?"

"Better now, "she said, gladly accepting Jack's canteen. After rinsing her mouth out and taking a small sip, she looked up at him. "Holy Hannah! That was amazing!"

"Yeah, that's one word for it," Jack grinned.

Samantha looked around at the stately evergreens. "Are we really on another planet? It looks so much like Earth!"

"Yeah, if you're a 'tree hugger,' this place is paradise."

"Jack thinks the Goa'uld could have added a little more variety to the locations they chose to transplant Humans to," Daniel clarified.

"But I thought you said the Arrissan's might have been the ones who built the 'gates. If they're Human, wouldn't they choose locations that reminded them of Earth? Or chose Earth because it reminded them of their home planet?"

"Geeze, just getting you back to this planet is making you sound more like Carter," Jack groused good-naturedly. "Well, it's a bit of a walk and we don't know how much time this is going to take. We better get moving."

Samantha tried to keep up with the pace Jack was setting, but she kept getting distracted by the scenery around her. It certainly *looked* like any woods she'd seen in North America, but occasionally there would be a reminder it wasn't Earth. An unrecognizable "bird" would fly by. There would be a call of an animal she'd never heard before. She just couldn't believe she would ever be as blaze' about a foreign world as her companions were. She supposed after seeing so many different planets, one alien landscape seemed pretty much like the next. But this was her first alien landscape. Well, maybe not technically, but it was her first in recent memory.

"Samantha," Jack sighed. "Look, I know this is all fascinating to you but we really got to get a move on, here."

"I'm sorry, Jack. It's just a little overwhelming."

Jack's features softened. "Yeah, I know it is. And I wish we had more time for you to look around, but. . ."

"I know. I'll keep up," she smiled, still enthralled.

About a half hour later, they came over the ridge where Samantha saw a village bustling with activity.

"Is this where the woman you think can help me lives?" she asked.

"Yeah," Daniel answered, obviously in awe. "Jack, you notice anything funny down there?"

"You mean the way that it looks like we found it? No sign of a Goa'uld attack?"

"Yeah. I mean, this culture doesn't appear to be advanced enough to have effected those kinds of repairs in this amount of time, do you think?"

"No. But weren't you the one who keeps telling me you think they're the ones who built the 'gates? If they've got that kind of technology, doing cosmetic repairs to some building would be nothing."

"Just because their ancestors may have built the 'gates, doesn't mean these people have that kind of technological knowledge," Daniel said. "Maybe they're like us. We figured out how to *use* the 'gates, but we couldn't build one from scratch."

"Could be the reason for this Awakening ceremony of theirs," Jack supplied. "Kind of a refresher course on their people's tech."

Daniel shrugged his shoulders. "Anything's possible."

"Maybe while Samantha's getting her head looked at, you and Teal'c can have a look around, find out some more about what makes these people tick."

Daniel nodded, following Jack's lead down the grassy ridge.

Samantha found her trepidation increasing as they neared the village. Was she really about to let some alien mess with her mind? Maybe this wasn't such a good idea. But how could she back out now? After all the guys had done to get her here? Didn't she at least owe them the courtesy of talking to this Ishandar?

At the edge of the dwellings a woman stood, dressed in long white robes, smiling at them as they approached.

"Ishandar!" Daniel cried, moving passed Samantha to greet the woman. "We thought you might have died in a Goa'uld attack! I'm glad to see you survived!"

"Daniel, there is no death," she said shaking her head as if indulging a child's fanciful notions.

"Right," Daniel said, being diplomatic and not arguing with her "It's good to see the Goa'uld have not sent you to the next life."

Ishandar smiled. "I would have gladly went, but when I realized Samantha was going to need my assistance, so I chose not to go."

Samantha looked up at the sound of her name. How did this woman know her? Or that she was going to need help remembering who she was? The way she spoke, it was like she were welcoming back old friends. She knew for a fact 'Sam' and Daniel had only spent a little over an hour with this woman.

Daniel looked around to the rest of the group. "How did you know that, Ishandar? You told me you're people aren't psychic."

"Most of them are not. But I have the gift of Sight. It is one of the reasons I am Ishandar."

"Ya didn't think to mention this before?" Jack asked, speaking for the first time since they'd arrived at the settlement.

"It wasn't important the last time we spoke," she smiled at him. "But it is necessary now since I needed to prepare." Ishandar took his hand as well as Samantha's. "It is good you have come, but we have much work ahead of us."

Samantha saw Jack cast a questioning glance at Daniel.

"It'll be all right," he assured them. Looking back at Ishandar he said, "do you mind if Teal'c and I have a look around? We'd like to learn more about your people."

The woman placed her hands together, bowing slightly. "Arrissa welcomes you." Straightening, she led Samantha and Jack towards her house.

"Good luck!" Daniel called as they separated.

*********

Jack looked around Ishandar's home. He really didn't have time to get a good look around the last time he was here, so he made up for that oversight as Ishandar led Samantha to an adjoining room. It looked like a cross between a shrine and what he assumed was a regular home on Arrissa. Candles and incense burned everywhere making the air feel heavy, relaxing. He hadn't slept much since the latest phase of their operation, and the warm, sweet-scented air was making him more than a little drowsy.

"Please, have a seat, Jack," Ishandar invited, motioning to the cushions on the floor. She noticed the zat gun under his jacket and held out her hand. "Your weapon will not be necessary here."

"If it's all the same to you, Ishandar, I'd feel better if I hung on to it."

Ishandar gave him the same indulgent smile she'd given Daniel earlier. "I understand your wish to be protected. To offer Samantha protection, but I must ask you for it as a measure of your sincerity and trust."

"Oh, for cryin' out loud," he muttered under his breath, reaching for the gun. The last thing he wanted to do was give up his weapon, but he knew she'd refuse to help Samantha if he were difficult. They'd come through too much to be stopped by his paranoia. He suspected Ishandar knew of the small handgun he kept hidden, but for some reason she didn't demand it. Perhaps his relinquishing his zat gun really *was* a symbolic gesture of trust.

"Where's Samantha?" he asked as she placed the gun out of sight.

"She is preparing."

"I got that part," he said. "*How* is she preparing?"

"She must purify herself. Clear her mind. Reach a state of relaxation so she's open to the procedure we will perform."

"'We?'" he asked, his eyebrows raising.

"Yes. You are a part of this as well."

"I thought this was something personal. Something you and she did together."

"Among the Arrissan's, that is how the Awakening is accomplished. But you are not the same as us. We were once as you, but we have evolved into a higher state of existence."

Jack tried not to take offense at the hint, as a species, Humans were "sub-standard," but it was hard not to get a little defensive. For a bunch of "inferiors" he thought they'd done pretty damn good.

"I did not mean to imply you or your species was inferior," Ishandar said, leaving Jack with his mouth hanging open.

"Can you read all my thoughts that easily?"

"Only the ones with strong emotion behind them," she assured him. "Like your love and concern for Samantha. It is always there. A constant thought in your mind, even when you push it to another corner of your consciousness."

Jack felt his face flush. He'd hoped he hadn't been that obvious. He knew Teal'c and Daniel saw it, but he wasn't aware he was broadcasting his feelings for Samantha so strongly this virtual stranger could pick up on it. But then Ishandar had an advantage most people didn't. She'd intimated there was something going on between him and Samantha even before there was. How had she put it? They almost always chose to come back together? He didn't know how much of this past life stuff he bought, but she'd certainly made a case for her powers of perception by spotting his love for Samantha even before he himself realized it.

"I'm not sure how I can be of help. After all, it's your ceremony," Jack needlessly pointed out.

"True, but you know her, are a part of her and you can reach the parts of her she cannot. Your voice will lend stability to the procedure. Connect her to this life."

Jack shook his head, not quite understanding what Ishandar was talking about. Kind of reminded him of another woman he was rather fond of.

"Okay," he relented. What do I have to do?"

"You too must prepare. Remove your clothing and replace them with these," she said, handing him what looked to be robes similar to her own. Grudgingly, Jack accepted the garment.

"Geeze, the things I don't do for that woman," he muttered under his breath as he followed Ishandar into a room on the opposite side of the house where Samantha was "preparing."

Jack slipped his fatigues off, pulling on the robe-like clothing. "I feel like a God-damned Tok'ra," he complained aloud to himself. Truth be told, he knew his bad mood was a cover for his nervousness. So much rested on Ishandar being able to help Samantha. What would he do if this didn't work? How did he return to the SGC, to General Hammond, and explain his blatant disregard of orders and protocol?

His thoughts were interrupted by hearing Ishandar calling to him. "Jack, if you would join us please, we're about to begin."

He exited the small room to see Samantha stretched out on the low table in the center of the room, the one surrounded by cushions. Ishandar was kneeling near Samantha's head, motioning to her right for him to join her.

*Kneeling,* Jack thought. *Of course she'd make me kneel on top of everything else.* He gripped the edge of the table, trying to lower himself to the cushions, trying to keep the grimace of pain from his face.

"I am sorry," Ishandar said, standing. "I should have realized your physical limitations. Please, follow me."

Jack stood from his half crouch, wiping the sheen of perspiration from his forehead.

"Stand here," Ishandar instructed, indicating a raised platform. She removed a circular device from a fold in her robe, fitting it into the palm of her hand, moving to position her hand over his left knee.

"Whoa! Wait a second!" Jack cried, trying to back away from the woman. "That's Goa'uld tech! I thought you said you didn't have any contact with them!"

"And I told you they stole much of our technology before they subjugated your people when we lived in what you call Atlantis. They took this as well," she said, holding up a ribbon device, causing Jack to retreat even further.

"Get that damn thing away from me!"

"It is the means I am going to help Samantha," she stated.

"Like hell, you are!" Jack cried, wishing he hadn't handed over his zat gun so quickly.

"Jack, calm yourself, you shall disturb Samantha and we'll have to begin again."

Jack snuck a quick look over at Samantha who seemed to be resting comfortably, a peaceful smile on her face. "What did you do to her?"

"She is only in a state of deep meditation. Now, will you please allow me to ease your pain?"

Jack wasn't sure he wanted one of those "healing devices" near him, but it was a good way to test Ishandar's sincerity to help Samantha. "Fine," he said tersely, "knock yourself out."

Ishandar held the device near his knee, the entire surface glowing. At first he didn't feel anything, then there was a pleasant tingling as his pain gradually evaporated.

"That's amazing!" he said, bending his knee back and forth, testing the range of motion. He couldn't believe she'd effectively cured him when surgeries and months of physical therapy only got him to the point he could walk in bearable pain.

"I don't know what to say," Jack commented. "Thank you seems so inadequate."

Ishandar smiled. "I can feel your gratitude, and it is more than enough. Now, will you assist me with Samantha?"

"Yeah," he answered, distracted, still marveling at the miracle she'd just performed. Hell, he'd follow her to the ends of the Earth, or Arrissa, as the case may be, for the service she'd just done him.

Ishandar redirected Jack back to Samantha's right side as she slipped the ribbon device onto her left hand.

"Jack, I want you to take Samantha's hand, but do not speak. Just let her feel you are with her."

Jack nodded, watching, still cautious where a ribbon device was concerned. Perhaps Ishandar read his thoughts as she explained the purpose of the mechanism.

"What you call a 'ribbon device' was actually created to aid us in retrieving our memories of our past lives so that we might find our true purpose in the current life. It was the Goa'uld who bastardized it into an instrument of torture."

Jack merely nodded as Ishandar turned her attention back to Samantha. The light waves emanating from her palm, concentrating on Samantha's forehead were lighter, more transparent than he'd seen when a Goa'uld used the device.

"Samantha," Ishandar spoke in low, soothing tones. "I'm going to ask you some questions and you will answer them as best you can. If you encounter some resistance we will go on, returning when you feel comfortable answering." She continued, as if she didn't expect an answer from Samantha.

"Now, I want you to think back to when you were a small girl, and we'll move forward from there."

*********

Samantha heard Ishandar's voice coming from far away, but she still felt as though she had to obey it. She couldn't remember exactly what the woman was asking her, only that she was answering her questions. Samantha had a memory of firing a gun for the first time, at her father's insistence, and how much she hated it. It was the same memory she'd had in her apartment that first day she'd been out of the infirmary.

Her apartment. Looking at it thought her "minds eye" she began to recognize objects, pictures, things that made the small space her home. Instead of the sterile feelings she'd had when Jack first brought her there, now there were feelings of comfort. Of being among things that were physical evidence of her life. Jack. He was with her now, she felt his hand and his presence with her. But she wasn't supposed to be feeling like this about him. She knew there was a reason, but she didn't know what it was. A uniform. Something to do with a uniform. Both of them in the same type of uniform. Because of this, her love for Jack was wrong. No, not wrong. Never wrong. Misplaced.

She was a soldier? Now she held a gun easily, having learned to respect it, not fear it. Studying physics. Physics of space, of planets, stars, galaxies. Stepping into a great circle and ending up somewhere completely different. Daniel, Teal'c and Jack. Always Jack. Always with her even when he wasn't physically there. Things coming into focus. As if her life could be viewed under a microscope and if she turned the knob the right way, her entire existence could be brought into focus. She felt things becoming clearer by the moment. If she waited just a moment more, she would see it all, and more.

Suddenly she wasn't "her" anymore. She was a he, seeing a different life, but feeling it as certain as she had the one she'd just viewed. Then she was a different she, a he once more, until she lost count of the number of times she switched genders, switched lives. But there was a constant with her. The same "entity" she felt near her now. Then the memory of Ishandar's words: "you have almost always chosen to come back together." And she smiled, because it was true.

"You will awaken now, Samantha." The words were commanding, but not harsh. She wanted to wake up, to see Ishandar. To see Jack and tell him, she was back and of all she'd seen.

"Jack," she said, her eyes starting to flutter open.

"I'm here, Samantha," he said, squeezing her fingers.

"I thought you knew by now I hate being called that," she smiled lazily, knowing he'd get her meaning.

"Sam? It worked? You remember?"

"Mmm hmm," she said, trying to sit up, but she only made it part way as a wave of dizziness sent her back into a prone position.

"You must rest," Ishandar said, her own voice laced with fatigue. "As must I. If you will excuse me?" She said, shaking as she got to her feet.

"Let me help you," Jack offered, but she waved him aside. "Samantha has much to tell you and her memories of the past will not last long. You and she are not like us. In a short time her memories of her past existence's will be mere images. She needs to tell you before she forgets, so you can both remember."

"Thank you," Sam said, feeling herself close to tears. She took Ishandar's hand as she passed. "I don't know how to let you know what your help has meant to me."

Ishandar placed her free hand on her shoulder. "I know Samantha. If you did not realize the value of the gift I offered you, I would not have helped you. Talk to Jack. Tell him before your memory fades."

Sam watched Ishandar slowly walk from the room, obviously exhausted from her labors.

Jack took Sam's hand, drawing her attention back to him. "What did she mean we have much to talk about?"

Sam felt her smile growing. "It's so weird! I can "see" myself having been these other people. I mean, I don't know that I really believed her when she was saying all that stuff about past lives. But she's right, Jack. There have been very few lives we haven't been together. And those we weren't I was with Daniel, or Teal'c."

"You mean as in TOGETHER, together, or just friends?"

"Both. There were times you weren't there, and I was married to Daniel. Even to Teal'c once. That didn't go as well. We're better as friends."

Sam could tell she was confusing Jack. Either that or he didn't want to accept the possibility what Ishandar was telling them was true.

"But you and Daniel were okay being married?" he said, sounding like he was jealous.

"We were the closest when he was my daughter. Our daughter, actually."

Jack rubbed his face, then held up his hand. "Okay, let me get this straight. Daniel was our kid?"

"Yeah, and you were his mother," she smiled enjoying the shocked look on his face.

"His MOTHER?"

"We don't always stay the same gender. How else would we learn?" she asked.

"All right, this is getting a little too weird, Sam. You're starting to sound like Ishandar."

Sam had to stifle a giggle. "Help me sit up, will you?" Jack supported her back, then took a seat next to her on the low table, his arm draped over her shoulders. It was such an odd sensation to feel comfortable in his embrace as "Sam." She remembered the past weeks as Samantha in almost the same fashion as the thoughts of her other lives. It wasn't really surreal, or dream-like just. . .different. There wasn't a way to put it into words. She loved Jack same as she had when they'd 'gated here, and yet it was like there was something "more" there now. Her memories of college, the Air Force, all she'd forgotten vying for her attention. And the feeling that as right as being in Jack's arms felt, there was something wrong about it as well. As much she'd always felt attracted to him, she knew, deep down, she wouldn't have acted on those feelings because of her commitment to the military.

But that was beside the point now. She *had* acted on those feelings. They both had. And she didn't know if she could go back to just being his Captain and second-in-command.

"Everything okay?" he asked, taking her by the chin, gently turning her face towards him. "You've grown awfully quiet."

"Just trying to get all this stuff in my head straight," she smiled. And it was the truth.

"Anything else about you and Daniel I should know about?" he teased.

"He was a fabulous lover," she said, purposely trying to shock him. "And that time Teal'c was our son."

"Wasn't I there?"

"Um, yeah, you were."

"You don't seem too happy about that," he observed.

Sam sighed. "I was Daniel's wife and you and I were having an affair."

"Oh."

"That's not the worst of it. You killed him, out of jealousy." Jack had become silent, waiting for her to continue. "I had planned to leave him, but at the last minute I couldn't go through with it. Teal'c, or rather Michael, as he was called in that life, was sick. I couldn't leave my sick child and husband no matter how much I loved you. When I didn't show up at our rendezvous point, you came looking for me. You confronted Daniel and got into an argument. I don't think you meant to kill him, things just got out of hand. You stabbed him with a pitchfork."

Jack's face went pale. "So what happened?"

"You left. I made you leave, actually. I knew if the authorities found you, they'd either kill you or imprison you for the rest of your life. I couldn't let that happen since everything had been my fault. I should have fought my attraction for you harder than I did. But there was always something about you that made me think we belonged together. So much so, I was willing to give up my family for you."

"I hope you never have to make that kind of choice again," Jack said quietly.

"But, Jack, don't you see? I do! I have to choose between my love for you and my love for my military 'family.' The circumstances are different, but the choice is still the same."

"Sam, nothing has to be decided right now," Jack said, obviously shaken by her last words. She knew he'd do anything to hang on to her. Just like before.

"You're right," she said, forcing a smile. She didn't want to think about it right now either, regardless of how much this felt like deja vu. There were so many other lives they were together and happy. Why couldn't this be one of them?

Sam proceeded to tell Jack about other lives spent together. The time they fought side-by-side as soldiers in a Mongolian war, how devastated she, as a he, had been when "Jack" died in childbirth. The lives when they'd been happily married with children. And not-so-charmed incarnations when there'd been so much death and pain the only thing that got them through was their love for each other.

Sam didn't even realize she'd started to cry, recounting her memories until she felt Jack's arms encircle her, drawing her to his chest. It had grown dark outside, so she must have been talking to him for hours. As Ishandar said, the memories were beginning to fade, slipping away like dreams did upon waking when you try to grasp an idea, a concept, but it melts and drifts away.

"You believe me, don't you, Jack?" Sam asked, sitting up, wiping her tears.

Jack ran a hand through his short hair, blowing out a breath. "There's a part of me that thinks this is all bunk. Knowing what an active imagination you have, you could have dreamed this all up."

"And the other part?"

"That's the trouble. I don't *want* to believe it, but there's something that rings true. Something that's almost like a memory. Like when you were describing it, I could see it. I mean *really* see it. Not like I could just picture it from your description. I'm not explaining it very well," he sighed.

Sam ran her hand along his rough cheek. "You explained it perfectly. At least as well as it can be explained. I love you, Jack," she said kissing him gently. "At least we didn't miss out on that this time around."

Jack pulled her closer, deepening their kiss until she heard someone behind them clearing their throat. Sam looked up and saw Daniel and Teal'c standing in the doorway.

"Daniel!" Sam cried, almost leaping out of Jack's arms to embrace him. "God, it's good to see you again!"

"Uh, Sam?" Daniel asked, returning the hug. "It worked?"

"Yeah," Jack acknowledged with a jaunty grin. "She's back."

"Teal'c!" she cried, repeating the hug with the Jaffa.

He embraced her for a moment before releasing her. "I am pleased you have returned, Samanthacarter."

Sam had her arm around both men's waists, not wanting to let them go just yet. She still had enough recall of her past lives to know how much this group meant to her. All the times they switched roles, being parents, lovers, children, friends. They were her family. The beings she was meant to be with, in the past, present and in the future.

*********

Although Ishandar had provided them with comfortable accommodations, Jack was anxious to get back to the Stargate and Earth. If Sam hadn't been so tired, he probably would have opted for leaving in the dark. As it was, she needed to rest and he needed to formulate a defense for them once they reached the SGC. Funny how *that* part of the plan never seemed to come up in all their discussions.

Jack knew Daniel and Teal'c would try to persuade General Hammond it was a mutual decision, that they all took responsibility for bringing Sam to Arrissa. But he knew the truth: he was the one in the military, and he was the one who was going to have to take the fall for disobeying orders. He was okay with that, though. Teal'c and Daniel had definitely gone "above and beyond" the bounds of duty and friendship. And to see "Sam" shining out through "Samantha's" eyes once again, was more than enough compensation for whatever shit he was in. He would gladly take any punishment the General decided was appropriate.

Crossing over to the pallets Ishandar had provided, Jack called out enthusiastically, "gooood morning, campers! Time to rise and shine!"

Teal'c opened his eyes from his state of meditation. Daniel groaned in protest as he rolled over, rubbing a hand across his eyes. His other hand flopped around until he made contact with his glasses which he promptly slid on.

"Is it morning already?" he asked, blinking his eyes several times trying to focus.

"Yup," he said, crouching before Daniel's bed.

"Jack!" Daniel said, realizing something was different. "Your knee!"

"Yeah, the old gal fixed 'er up. Sweet, huh?" he stood and crouched again showing off how well he could move.

"But how. . . ."

"She's got a healing device."

"But I thought the Tok'ra already tried that with you."

"Seems the Goa'uld, and consequently the Tok'ra, 'borrowed' some of the Arrissan's technology. I guess they don't have access to the latest version of the healing device. Ishandar used one of those ribbon thingys on Sam, too."

"That's what they use for their Awakening ceremony?" Daniel's eyes were wide. "Of course! It makes sense, I mean it does something to your brain waves and maybe a milder dose would. . ."

"Easy, Danny. Not before breakfast."

"How's Sam, today?"

"I don't know. I let her sleep just a little longer. She seemed really tired last night."

"Well, I suppose something like that's bound to take a lot out of you," Daniel agreed.

"You and Teal'c get ready to move out. I'll wake her up." Jack moved to the pallet he'd shared with Sam, set apart from where Daniel and Teal'c had rested. At first he felt a little awkward sharing a bed with Sam. Not only because she was "herself" again, but technically, they were on a mission. It didn't seem appropriate that they should sleep together in a "professional" situation. But Sam had given him that look, the one that told him she was still unsure of what their relationship was. How the part of her that was Samantha was fighting with Sam's sense of protocol. He'd slid in beside her, taking her in his arms. The only words either spoke were Sam's soft words of thanks.

Jack leaned over, gently shaking Sam's shoulder. "Sam, come on. It's time to move out."

Sam rolled over onto her stomach, automatically reaching for him. "Jack?"

He couldn't help but smile as her hand searched for him. "You know, you used to call me 'sir' when we were off-world."

"I also didn't sleep with you," she added sitting up. "Morning."

"Good morning," he replied, the urge to kiss her almost overwhelming. As their gazes locked he could tell she wanted the same thing, but in light of their audience, they decided to curb their desire.

"Okay, Captain. Ya got ten minutes," he winked at her.

*There, that wasn't so bad, was it?* Jack said to himself. *Teal'c and Daniel didn't make any embarrassing comments or anything. There's no reason things have to change.* But deep down he knew they would. If he could convince Sam that things didn't have to change when they weren't on duty, maybe they could hang onto what they had. After all, she wasn't pushing him away now. But they hadn't faced the General yet, either.

Ishandar offered them a quick breakfast of some type of porridge, which, Jack commented under his breath, was the real reason they were in such a hurry to die. Even field rations seemed gourmet by comparison. After thanking her once again for all her help, Jack literally had to drag a still questioning Daniel away from their host.

"Safe journey to you all," Ishandar said, bowing over her hands.

"Pleasant lives to you," Sam said, returning the gesture.

"Until we meet again," Ishandar said, looking at Jack.

"Uh, yeah. See ya around," he half-waved, unsure of a proper response. Sam smiled at his clumsy farewell, and for some reason, seeing her grin at his inept behavior, made him feel a whole lot better.

*********

General Hammond paced the control room. It had been nearly twenty-four hours since he'd been notified SG-1 had "infiltrated" the base and used the Stargate for their own personal agenda. Seeing the address of the planet they 'gated to, Hammond confirmed his suspicions--they'd gone back to P6J-847. Instinctively he knew this had something to do with Captain Carter, even though they'd never discussed returning to the planet they called Arrissa. Hell, he *wished* they had discussed what they were planning to do. Not that he would have been in any more of a position to help. But it would have given him a head start on the interference he was going to have to run with *his* superiors when they found out the SGC's best team had taken matters into their own hands. He couldn't fathom what the penalty for unauthorized Stargate use might be. Not only had they disobeyed orders, broken the chain of command, but there was the cost factor. Did O'Neill have any *idea* how much it cost the American taxpayers each time they went through the 'gate? It made the Space Program look like chump change.

Hammond rubbed a hand tiredly over his face. He knew he should take a break. Besides working himself up, he was making the technicians nervous. Not only with his pacing, just his mere presence had them on edge.

He'd never seen a more remorseful look than the one he'd seen on Airman Donnatelli's face when he'd arrived on the base. She looked positively green. He'd tried to reassure her that it wasn't her fault--she was just following Colonel O'Neill's orders. There was no way to know what he and Captain Carter were up to. Though how he got Sam through security was still a mystery to him. Just one of the many.

The general was about to step out of the room for another cup of coffee when one of the technicians drew his attention back to the Stargate.

"Incoming traveler! It's four people, sir! And they're using SG-1's code!"

"Well, it's about damn time," Hammond muttered to himself as he raced for the 'gate room. He walked through the heavy blast door just as four figures walked through the event horizon. Upon seeing him, O'Neill slowed his pace down the ramp.

*At least he's aware of what he's done,* Hammond thought to himself.

"Sir, I can explain. . . "

"Oh, I'm sure you can, Colonel. And believe me, it's a story I've been waiting to hear." Hammond's voice was cold, his eyes hard. His gaze swept to the other members of the team.

"Sir, Colonel O'Neill took me to Arrissa to help me get my memories back. I know you declared the planet off limits, but under the circumstances. . ."

"There are no circumstances, Captain. Colonel O'Neill was well aware of the consequences when he took you there. Weren't you, Colonel?"

"Yes, sir." he said, not even attempting to rationalize his behavior.

"Wait!" Daniel cried, holding up his good arm. "Jack's not the only one at fault here! I mean Teal'c and I are as much to blame as he is! Don't blame him for a decision we all made!"

"While I admire the fact you're all tripping over yourselves trying to take the liability for this action, the truth is, Colonel O'Neill is in charge of SG-1 and as such, he is ultimately responsible for the conduct of his team."

Hammond looked at his second-in-command. Jack understood this. He'd known it before he'd left on the mission, and yet he still risked everything to help Captain Carter. He'd known Jack would do anything it took when it came to his team, but he had a feeling Carter was even more of an incentive. He didn't have any evidence, but he'd often felt their feelings towards each other weren't entirely professional. Not that they'd ever acted inappropriately. Until today, that is.

Daniel tried to argue with Hammond again. O'Neill placed a hand on his good shoulder.

"It's okay, Danny. The general is right," he said quietly, looking Hammond square in the face. "It was my call. It's my responsibility."

"Sir," Sam tried again. "I know what Colonel O'Neill did was technically wrong. But I can't let him take the blame for trying to help me. He saved 'me' as surly as if he'd rescued me on any mission."

Hammond put a reassuring hand on Sam's arm. "Captain, I can't tell you what having you back is going to mean to the Stargate Program, and how delighted I am personally that your memories have returned. But the fact remains, Colonel O'Neill broke regulations, specific orders not to return to P6J-847, and he has to answer for that."

"It's okay, Carter," Jack said, giving her a look that said more than his words, Hammond noticed.

"Captain, I want you to go to the infirmary, get checked out. When Dr. Fraiser has cleared you, I want you to meet me in the briefing room. Dr. Jackson, considering you haven't been cleared for 'gate travel, I suggest you get checked out as well." Hammond could see his words had the desired affect on the young man. No punishment he could devise would equal the lecture he was about to receive from the soon-to-be irate doctor.

Jack and Teal'c began to follow their team mates out the door as Hammond stopped them. "Colonel, I want to see you in my office *right now.* Teal'c you can join the others in the infirmary, if you wish."

"Uh, sir? Don't you think I should get checked out too? I mean, I was off-world as well and. . ."

"You didn't bring anything back with you the last time, did you?"

"Uh, no, sir."

"Then I think your safe. My office. Now."

Jack left his equipment in the embarkation room, in the same pile where the rest of the team had dropped theirs.

"At least now I know what's been happening to our missing gear," Hammond said, motioning for Jack to take the lead to his office.

Once the door was shut, Hammond crossed to his desk, taking a seat leaving Jack standing at attention. *At least he has 'some' sense of military respect left in him,* he thought. Hammond considered leaving him at attention for the duration of their meeting, but it made talking to him even more difficult.

"At ease, Colonel," he said, declining to offer him a seat. Jack spread his feet, clasping his hands behind him standing at parade rest.

Hammond took a deep breath. "Colonel, do you have *any* idea of the position you've put me in?"

"Sir?"

"I spend a good part of my time on the phone with the President extolling the virtues of SG-1. Now I have to try and explain why my best team took it upon themselves to disregard orders, breach security, and use the 'gate for highly speculative personal reasons? And to make matters worse, the leader of that team also happens to be the 2IC of this base. Do *you* think the President is going to have much confidence in our abilities when he catches wind of this?"

"He doesn't know yet, sir?"

"I don't recall giving you permission to speak, Colonel." Hammond watched as Jack struggled to keep his temper and impatience under control.

"No, I haven't contacted him. Yet. I thought I would give you the chance to tell me your side of things before I involved the higher-ups."

"Thank you, sir."

"I still haven't given you permission to speak, Colonel. What I want to know is why you felt you had to do this behind my back. Why didn't you come to me first?"

Jack remained silent, waiting for permission this time. Hammond sighed, "Go ahead, Colonel."

"Sir, you'd declared P6J-847 off-limits because of the Goa'uld presence there. That the possibility of running into them again outweighed the importance of studying their culture. I didn't think you'd be receptive to my request to return."

"And you didn't think I should be the one to make that call? Obviously you felt strongly enough about returning to risk your career."

"Sir, my reasons were based on a supposition. A belief that the Awakening ceremony of the Arrissan's could help Sa . . .Captain Carter. It was a long shot, and I knew it. I also knew you'd consider such a long shot unacceptable, even for Carter."

"Again, don't you think it was a little presumptuous of you to try to second guess me, Colonel?"

"Sir, if I had come to you, and you turned us down, there's no way we'd get a second chance to go to Arrissa. You would have been on to us the minute you noticed gear missing. I felt our best chance at success was to go behind your back."

Hammond nodded. He could see the man's point. It didn't make it right, but he could understand his reasoning.

"Sir? I was hoping to keep you out of all this as well."

"Excuse me?"

"Permission to speak freely?"

"Go ahead."

"Sir, I didn't want to get you involved in this. I thought by going 'rogue,' without your knowledge, we might spare you some of the blame in this matter."

"So what you're trying to tell me is you went behind my back for my own good?"

"Yes, sir."

"Colonel, what did you just tell Dr. Jackson in the 'gate room?"

"Sir?"

"Essentially you told him you were responsible for the people under your command. You don't think that applies to me as well?"

Jack looked at his feet. "Yes, sir, I suppose it does."

"Now. I want to hear about this mission. What made you think these Arrissan's could help Captain Carter?"

"Sir, Daniel told me about this ceremony they use to 'revive' their memories from past lives. I believe that was all in his report."

"Yes, it was. Go on."

"Well, I got to thinking, if they could 'awaken' memories of a past life, why not remembrances of a current life? I talked it over with Daniel, and from what he understood about the ceremony, he thought it might work."

"And I'm assuming Captain Carter agreed to this?"

"Yes, sir. She was willing to try in order to return to her former life."

Hammond sighed. "Well, Colonel, I can certainly understand your motivations. I know what your team mates mean to you. I have to admit the SGC hasn't been the same without Captain Carter. But that still is no excuse for how you handled this situation. What if this 'ceremony' you speak of had done more harm than good? At least she was a functioning adult. You had no idea what this procedure might do to her."

"You're right, sir. But I trusted their leader. This Ishandar. She even fixed my knee," Jack said, demonstrating his new flexibility.

"While I find that amazing, in light of the fact even the Tok'ra couldn't help you, I don't see it as a reason to believe she could help Captain Carter."

"Sir, believe me, when Ishandar pulled that ribbon device from her pocket, I was *sure* I'd made a mistake. But she went on to explain how the Goa'uld had stolen much of their technology and how that ribbon thingy was originally meant to help brain functions rather than destroy them."

"And you believed her?"

"Yes, sir. I did. As you can see, she *did* help Sa. . .Carter."

That was the second time Jack had almost called his Captain by her given name. Hammond knew they were friends, but it was odd that in this situation he didn't refer to her by her rank This had been a strange couple of months for them all. No doubt this situation had brought them closer. Hammond knew Dr. Fraiser had initially released Captain Carter into O'Neill's care. Something like this was bound to bring them closer. But how close? Had Jack risked everything for his friend, or was there more there that he hadn't noticed before?

"I think we should adjourn to the briefing room, Colonel. I'd like to talk to Captain Carter before I make any decisions regarding a course of action. But believe me, there *will* be a course of disciplinary action taken in this case."

*********

Sam was subdued walking towards the infirmary. She was so busy worrying about Jack, she didn't even realize how wonderful it was that she just *knew* where the infirmary was located. Teal'c and Daniel trailed her, equally quiet. Stepping into the medical facility, Janet looked up.

"Samantha? Is everything all right? What are you doing here?" she asked, pulling Sam over to an examination table. "Daniel? Teal'c? What's going on? If you're all here, where's Jack?"

"You don't know?" Sam asked.

"Know what?" Janet asked, exchanging looks with the three people before her.

"About us going to Arrissa?"

"Isn't that the planet you two were hurt on?"

"Yeah. The general didn't tell you?" Sam said.

"No, but I wish one of you would explain!"

"We returned to the planet to help Samanthacarter regain her memories," Teal'c said.

"Is that true? What happened?"

"It worked!" Sam said, her face breaking into a wide grin as she hugged the astonished doctor. Sam gave Janet a shortened version of the events of the ceremony, leaving out the part about the past lives. She hadn't told Daniel or Teal'c about those memories either. She wasn't quite sure how the others would take the information. Jack had been skeptical enough. Besides, she didn't think Daniel would like to hear Jack had stabbed him with a pitchfork in a former life, in a jealous rage.

Sam shivered at the memory. Ishandar said she wouldn't remember her lives, but there were pieces that remained. The image of Jack killing Daniel was particularly vivid, and one she'd rather not retain.

"I want you to have a full exam, Sam. You seem like everything is back to normal, but I want to make sure." Sam could see Janet had more questions she wanted to ask, but when she informed her they were to meet with the General once she'd cleared them, the doctor curbed her curiosity to attend to her job.

Janet ordered an EEG for Sam, and while the test was being performed, she turned her attention to Daniel. Sam couldn't hear the entire exchange, but suffice it to say there was no doubt in anyone's mind Janet wasn't pleased Daniel had accompanied them off-world.

Sam had dozed off, lying on the gurney as she waited for her test results. Feeling Janet's hand shaking her gently, she opened her eyes, staring at her friend. It seemed odd she hadn't felt closer to Janet when she'd come out of the coma. Perhaps if she'd taken Janet up on her offer to stay with her, things wouldn't have gone so far with Jack. Now that she remembered all the trouble they could get in, she was wondering if it had been worth it. Especially in light of the situation Jack was already facing for taking her to Arrissa.

"Is something wrong, Sam?" Janet asked, helping her to sit up. "You look like you've got the weight of the world on your shoulders. I would think you'd be relieved."

"I am. Really. It's like waking from a dream. I remember all that happened in those weeks after the coma, but it's still kind of surreal, too. Like it wasn't really me, and yet it was."

"I can't imagine how strange it must be for you," Janet said, taking a seat next to Sam on the gurney.

"Sam, I have to ask you a question, and I promise I'll keep it as confidential as anything medical. You don't have to answer, but as your friend, I'm concerned about you." Janet hesitated a moment before she continued. "Are you and Jack involved?"

"Well, of course we are, I mean we're friends! I'm 'involved' with Daniel and Teal'c, too."

"Sam, you know what I mean."

Sam stared at her hands for a moment, trying to decide if she should say anything. Teal'c and Daniel knew about her and Jack, and Janet was just as much a friend as they were. Jack felt he could confide in Daniel. Didn't she have the same right?

"Yes," she said.

Janet blew out a breath. "That complicates things a bit, doesn't it?"

Sam looked into her eyes. "I really love him, Janet. I mean, I knew I felt something for him before, but it's so much more now. I can't stand the thought of not being with him, and yet I know it's impossible if we want to stay on the same team. Even in the SGC. How do I make a choice like that? It was almost easier when I didn't remember who I was. At least then there was no choice to make. I'm sure I would have been discharged from the Air Force."

"Sam, you can't honestly say you'd prefer to not remember you life, just so you could be with Jack!"

Sam sighed. "No, I'm glad we went to Arrissa, but damn it, Janet! Why does this have to be so hard? What can be so wrong about two people who love each other who want to be together?"

Janet gave her a hug, which started the tears flowing. Sam promised herself she wasn't going to cry. She'd decided last night as Jack held her in his arms, it would be the last time. That once they were back on Earth she was going to make a clean break from him and get back to being just his Captain once more. Friends and colleagues, but nothing else.

"I wish I knew some way around the regulation, but I don't," Janet said, pulling back from her. "Just last week they court-martialed an Airman and a Lieutenant for being what the review board called "indiscreet." The worst of it is, after they were kicked out of the Air Force, they broke up. I guess the stress of the trial and everything was just too much."

Sam wondered if a similar fate would befall her and Jack. Would they be able to emotionally handle the embarrassment, let alone the mutual resentment that would come from a court-martial? Is that how she wanted their relationship to end up? Bitter to the point where they couldn't even remain friends? Wouldn't a bit of pain now be better than experiencing it two-fold down the road?

A nurse came to hand Janet a folder of test results. "I have to have a look at these, then we'll head down to the briefing room, okay?"

Sam nodded drying her eyes. She had to get a grip on her emotions before she sat across from Jack in the briefing room. This was the first step towards getting back to being his second-in-command. No matter how difficult it was going to be.

*********

Jack and General Hammond were the first to the briefing room. It seemed odd they had nothing to say to each other, considering the conversation they'd just had in his office. Jack took a seat to the left of the general, leaving the closest chairs for the others. Pens and paper were in the center of the table which Jack reached for in order to occupy his hands. He started out doodling, then quickly moved on to dismantling and reassembling the pen.

"Colonel," Hammond said, "for what it's worth, I do understand why you did what you did. It's your methods I don't approve of."

Jack continued to stare at the pen in his hand. "I'm sorry I let you down, sir, but at the time it was the only way I could see getting Captain Carter the help she needed."

It was already getting to be old territory, but at least there was some sound in the room other than their breathing and the faint noise of Jack clicking and retracting his pen. It wasn't much longer before Dr. Fraiser ushered in the rest of his team, carrying a folder. Jack chanced a quick look at Sam but she was busy trying to look every where but at him.

"Is everything okay, Doc?" Jack asked.

"Everything's fine," Janet smiled weakly at him.

Something was up. Sam had been acting strange ever since they'd gotten underway on Arrissa that morning, and Janet's behavior only added to his suspicions. There was a distance to Sam, Jack couldn't put his finger on. She had walked beside him, but there was now a definite barrier between them. He hadn't had the chance to talk to her, privately, since Daniel and Teal'c had shown up at Ishandar's last night. They hadn't had the opportunity to discuss what happened next in their lives. Apparently Sam had decided distance was the best course of action, both emotionally and physically, as she took a seat as far away from him as possible.

God! This is exactly what he hoped wasn't going to happen! Sam had been "fine" when she woke up, but the longer she'd had her memories back, the further she seemed to withdraw from him. Maybe she was just putting up a front for the General, but it didn't feel like that.

He didn't realize he was staring at her until the general raised his voice, repeating his question:

"Colonel, is there anything you can tell me about the Goa'uld attacks on these people? Or if there's any reason I should rescind my order about P6J-847 remaining off limits?"

Daniel raised his hand, looking over at Jack. "General, if I may? Teal'c and I had a chance to explore the village, and I think it's safe to say the visits from the Goa'uld seem to follow a pattern. A time table if you will."

Teal'c added his opinion to Daniel's. "I have seen how Jaffa use planets like this for 'training exercises' and they are usually quite methodical in their visits to each world."

"Which means. . . .?" Hammond asked.

"I think what Teal'c's trying to say is that they have a rather ridged schedule which they maintain, so based on past attacks, it's fairly easy to predict when the next wave will hit." Daniel said.

"And the natives know this cycle and they do nothing to defend themselves?"

"Sir, they plan on it," Jack spoke for the first time since the meeting had convened. "They're *waiting* for them to come. Like it's a holiday or something."

"And you don't find this unusual, Colonel?"

"Yeah, *I* think it's nuts, but Ishandar and her people see it as salvation. The way to the next life," Jack said, locking gazes with Sam. "It's all in Daniel's first report."

"Yes, I read that report," Hammond said. "But what I don't understand is how you could risk the lives of your team, to go back to this planet when, at the time, you didn't know about this 'schedule.' For all you knew, there could have been an attack taking place or about to take place at any moment. You didn't even send a MALP through!"

"You're right, sir, but there wasn't enough time. All I can say is it 'felt' right."

"It 'felt' right? Colonel, I believe in gut reactions in the middle of a battle, but a hunch about a planet across the galaxy? That's asking a bit too much."

"Sir, I know the price for getting 'me' back was high, but all I can say is, Colonel O'Neill's 'faith' was shared by all of us. It was a huge risk, and we knew it. I can't thank these people enough for what they did on my behalf. I also believe the Colonel isn't the only one responsible. As his second-in-command. . ."

"Captain, I appreciate that you're willing to take responsibility for your part in this, but the truth is, when you made that decision, you really didn't have a clear idea of what you were signing on for, did you?"

Sam looked around the room at the men who were her friends and more. Very quietly she said, "no, sir. But that doesn't mean. . . "

"Captain Carter," General Hammond said, his voice softening, "this isn't an inquisition. Contrary to what you all might think, I'm not here looking for ways to crucify Colonel O'Neill. All I want is the truth. In fact, what I'm looking for is a way to *help* him. Oh, he's going to have to pay the price for his actions, but in order to keep him on this base, keep him from being court-martialed, I need something I can fight with. Some reason he shouldn't be stripped of rank."

Sam's eyes went wide, glancing over at Jack. "Would it come to that, sir?"

Hammond sighed, "It's a good possibility, Captain."

"They can't do that!" Daniel said, looking around the room at the other shocked faces.

"Yes, they can, Daniel," Jack said, toying with the pen once more.

"Well, I'll resign! Any organization that would punish you for helping a friend, a. . .a fellow officer, isn't something I want to be a part of."

Jack smiled at Daniel's bull-dog loyalty. "It's a nice thought, Danny, but it isn't like you can stage a protest or anything. You're a civilian. And as valuable as you are to us personally, to the military, you can be replaced. No offense."

"He's right, son. Your sacrifice wouldn't make a difference."

"Yeah, it'd be like cutting off your hand to spite your foot. Or something," Jack added.

"I think that's 'cutting off your nose to spite your face,' sir." Sam grinned.

"Whatever."

He saw Sam lower her eyes too keep from staring at him. Okay, so he got the cliché wrong, but at least he got a smile out of her.

"People, we're getting off track here. Dr. Fraiser, what can you tell me about Captain Carter's condition?"

"Well, sir, I guess I would have to term it her 'former condition.' She seems to have made a complete recovery. I'd say her brain might even be functioning at a higher level than before the coma."

"Is that possible?" The general asked.

"I can't explain it," Janet said, looking over at Sam.

"Colonel O'Neill said they used a ribbon device on you, Captain. Is this true?"

"Yes, sir."

"But I thought they were used as a weapon?"

"I believe Daniel's theory that these people could be the original 'gate builders, sir. Or at least related to them somehow. Ishandar told me how the Goa'uld stole their technology, and altered it for their own purposes. The ribbon device was originally intended to *increase* brain function, to aid in the Awakening ceremony, not decrease it as the Goa'uld have made it do. Perhaps that would explain why my brain is now functioning at a greater level."

"Great," Jack mumbled under his breath. "All we need is a smarter Carter." He was smiling as he said it, looking down at the table. When he looked up, he knew Sam had heard him, since she was trying to hide her grin.

"That sounds like a reasonable explanation to me, sir," Janet said. "I certainly don't have any other reasoning for it."

General Hammond merely nodded, moving onto another subject. "Colonel, would you care to tell me how you managed to get Captain Carter into this facility in the first place?

"I, uh, rigged the computers to shut down the security cameras at precise intervals. I also generated a false pass list."

Hammond looked at him and started to laugh. "Colonel, you have a hard time retrieving your e-mail! I hardly think you're experienced enough with computers to pull something like this off!"

"Uh, that's where I would come in," Daniel said sheepishly.

"Daniel!" Jack cried.

"Well, look, Jack! It's obvious you couldn't have done something like this off on your own!"

Jack looked over at Sam who was biting her bottom lip in an effort not to laugh as well. Obviously, she found the thought of him engineering a computer glitch rather amusing. She didn't think it was so funny a day ago when they were planning it!

"It did help that the guards knew us," Jack shrugged. "Once our names were on the list, they didn't question our presence."

"What about the guard at the entrance to the lower-level elevators?" Hammond pointed out.

"Uh, well, sir, I missed his pass list and he was being a little too efficient for his own good."

"So you shot him!"

"Not exactly, sir. I zatted him."

"It was still an aggressive act against a fellow soldier, intended to disable him," the general clarified.

"Yes, sir," Jack answered, knowing there was no way to refute the fact he *had* shot Andrews.

"And the lock-out code in the control room?" Hammond asked.

"I used mine, and I sort of 'borrowed' Carter's and had her memorize it."

Hammond sighed, giving Jack a hard look. "Under different circumstances I might have been impressed with your ingenuity, Colonel. But the fact remains you abused your security access. Not only to enter this facility with someone who didn't have clearance, but to mettle with the base's computer as well. Do you have anything else to say in your defense?"

"No, sir. Only that I state again I felt it was necessary to help Captain Carter. Given the choice, I'd do it again."

Jack watched a muscle in the general's jaw twitch as Hammond clenched his teeth. "Very well. You're dismissed until further notice." The occupants of the room began to rise, exchanging questioning looks.

"Except for you, Colonel. You're confined to the base until I say other wise."

"But sir, I . . ."

"That wasn't a request, Colonel."

"Yes, sir," Jack answered, trying to remember he was arguing with a superior officer, and one who held his fate in his hands.

"I'll make sure she gets home, Colonel," Janet said, pausing to place her hand on Jack's arm. He nodded; she must have read his thoughts.

As she passed him, Sam stopped momentarily, looking at him with great sadness. "I'm sorry, Colonel. I never meant for this to happen."

Teal'c and Daniel also offered words of apology but he didn't hear them. All Jack could focus on was the double-meaning to Sam's words. She was saying good-bye. In more ways than one.

*********

Janet had offered to take Sam to dinner, but all she wanted to do was get home. Home. *What a relative term,* she thought. Walking though the door of her apartment, carrying two bags of groceries Janet insisted she needed, Sam felt almost as displaced as she had weeks ago when Jack had brought her here. She'd begun to think of Jack's place as her home. The apartment didn't feel welcoming like it should. In all the time she'd spent at Jack's house, she'd never felt lonely. Not like this. Perhaps it was even though she were alone, she knew he would eventually return to her. That wasn't the case now. She was the one who'd put a stop to that. She was the one who told Janet to bring her here. She could have asked her to drop her off at Jack's. After all, the things she used on a daily basis were still at his house. She didn't even have toothpaste here any longer.

Sam looked down, realizing she still stood in her doorway, plastic grocery bags in her hands. Placing the bags on her kitchen counter, she made no move to unpack them. Instead, she roamed about her living room, reliving her last homecoming. Jack showing her the book shelves and pictures, hoping to spark some memory.

She picked up the photo album, looking at the picture of the day they went paint balling. Now she could remember that day, but Jack wasn't here to share the recollection with her. Sam ran her fingers over the photo, touching his face in the picture. Why did this have to be so hard? She missed him so much she actually ached, and it had only been hours since she'd seen him. But she knew this was the way things had to be.

Sam always wondered what would happen if she and Jack crossed over the line from friends to lovers. She had speculated--had more than one or two fantasies about it--but the reality of being his lover was far greater than anything she could have dreamed up. She also knew neither of them would have acted on those feelings if she hadn't forgotten who she was. She wouldn't have been so bold, and he wouldn't have been so quick to rationalize she wasn't technically under his command. Neither one of them had acted responsibly, but one of them had to now.

Sam turned with a sigh, heading towards the kitchen when the phone rang. She stared at it, wondering if she should pick it up. Chances were it was Jack or Daniel checking to see if she were all right. She didn't feel like talking to either one, so she let her answering machine pick it up

"Sam? Are you there? I just called Janet and she said she dropped you off. Come on, if you're there, please pick it up. I just want to know that you're okay." Sam bit her lip to keep from crying at the sound of Jack's voice.

He waited a moment then continued. "We have a lot to talk about. Please don't decide anything until we've talked, okay? I wish I could come over there. I miss you. I need to see you, to see that you're all right. That we're all right, but the general won't let me leave the base. At least until he's decided what my punishment's going to be. I don't think that's going to happen anymore today. Please, Sam! Pick up the damn phone!"

Sam's hand hesitated over the receiver, but she just couldn't handle talking to him right now.

"Okay. Maybe you aren't there, or you just need some time. I'll try back later. I love you."

Jack's last words tore though her. Sam had been leaning on the counter, but now she slid down the front of her cupboards, her face buried in her hands as she cried uncontrollably.

*********

Jack looked at the pay phone's receiver in his hands. She had to be there. He'd tried Janet and Daniel and she wasn't with either of them. He supposed it was possible she'd gone out for something, but it didn't seem likely. He even tried his own house on the off chance he'd mis-understood her farewell and she'd gone back to his home.

Jack hung up the phone, sulking as he made his way back to his quarters. Damn it! If he could just get off the base, if he could just *talk* to her, he knew they could work things out. He guessed he couldn't blame Hammond for confining him to the sub-levels. Hell, if he was in charge he'd do the same thing, but that didn't change the fact that he felt the need to escape and go to Sam. If he wasn't in so much trouble already, he probably would have attempted it. Why couldn't Hammond just slap him with a court-martial and be done with it? At least then he might release him on his own recognizance.

The waiting was the worst. Waiting to hear what punishment the General was going to impose, and the waiting to find out what Sam really intended to do about their relationship. Teal'c had taken Daniel home and wouldn't be back for sometime, and he certainly didn't feel up to hanging out in the commissary. He couldn't take all the accusing looks he was sure to receive. News of his actions had to have traveled around the base at least twice by now. Looking at his watch, Jack saw only ten minutes had crept by since he'd called Sam. He had to give her at least another twenty before he tried again.

*********

Sam jumped as the phone rang for the countless time. She knew she should have been expecting it, seeing as Jack called every half hour on the dot. She should have just taken the phone off the hook, but she seemed to have a morbid sense of curiosity to see just how many times Jack would call before he gave up.

"Sam," his tired voice said. He sounded just as emotionally wiped out as she felt. She imagined him, head resting on the cold concrete wall next to the pay phone, cradling the receiver loosely, as if he no longer had the energy left to hold it too his mouth.

"Sam, I know you're there, I just don't know why you won't talk to me. Nothing's changed. Nothing has to change. I still love you."

Sam thought she'd lost the ability to cry anymore, but his words brought a fresh batch of moisture to her eyes. It's not like he said anything different than all the other times he'd called. Each time she heard the words it tore at her heart. She should just pick up the phone. Tell him she was doing this for him, his career and position at the SGC more than her own.

She didn't hear him hang up the phone as she reached for her cordless handset. Pushing the "talk" button she hesitantly asked,

"Jack?" But there was no one there. She'd missed him. Hesitated a second too long.

Sam deactivated the phone, throwing it with such force she was surprised it hadn't broken. This wasn't like her. She didn't have tantrums or break things in anger. She also didn't fall in love with her commanding officer, she told herself. Sleep. She needed sleep. Perhaps things would look better in the morning. They certainly couldn't get worse.

*********

After a nearly sleepless night, Jack found himself standing before General Hammond in a pair of rumpled, blue, Air Force fatigues. Hammond gave his appearance a disapproving look which Jack shrugged off. He thought he'd done good by actually shaving. He knew he had to pull himself out of this funk if he had any hope of saving his career, so he did his best to stand up straight and look properly chastised by the general's glance.

"Colonel, you look like you slept about as much as I did last night," Hammond said, taking a seat behind his desk. "I hope some of that sleeplessness had to do with your remorse for your actions yesterday."

"Yes, sir," he lied. Well, it wasn't a total lie, he thought. After worrying about Sam, he *had* thought about the possible outcome of this meeting.

"Colonel, I'm not going to deny you do an excellent job here as my second, and as team leader of SG-1. That's why this is so difficult. I don't want to lose you or your talents. But the fact remains, you broke several regulations, and as much as I'd like to sweep this under the rug, I just can't. The President demanded an explanation, and I couldn't give him one."

Jack was still standing, his hands now jammed into the pockets of his pants. They'd covered this ground before. Why didn't he just get on with it?

"I've called in every favor, every last marker I have to keep you from being court-martialed, Colonel." Jack waited for Hammond to say it wasn't enough.

"The best I could do was to convince the President to leave your punishment up to my discretion," he said.

"Which means. . . .?"

"Which means you will not be facing a court-martial." Jack exhaled with relief.

"But there will be an official reprimand placed on your permanent record," the general added. "Keep in mind this will be taken into account the next time you're up for a rank review."

"Yes, sir. Thank you, sir."

"I'm not through yet, Colonel," Hammond said, his tone hard. "I have to admit I'm a little dismayed you were able to breech our security as easily as you did."

*Easy?* Jack thought. *He thought what we did was 'easy?'* Hell, he and Daniel spent *days* to simply generate a false pass list.

"Well, sir, as I said, the fact Carter and I are familiar faces was half the battle. We wouldn't have gotten past the first check point otherwise."

"I'm glad to hear that, Colonel, but that doesn't change the fact you *were* able to use the base's computers for your own agenda. There's any number of people who are more qualified than yourself to re-write security protocols."

"Yes, sir," Jack said looking down. The general was right. Anyone at the higher levels could do it, and in half the time if they had a mind to.

"So, in addition to your other duties, you will *personally* see that an upgrade is made to the computers so this type of event doesn't happen in the future. I'm not talking about overseeing Captain Carter doing the work. I mean *you* will do the programming yourself, without help from Dr. Jackson, Captain Carter or any of the other personnel on this base. Am I making myself clear?"

Yes, sir," Jack mumbled, his mind boggled at the implication of the general's order. Looking up he asked, "Sir? Are you sure I couldn't just clean the Stargate with a toothbrush or something?"

Jack saw Hammond almost smile but he caught himself at the last minute. *Oh, he's gotta be lovin' this,* Jack thought.

"One more thing, Colonel. You won't be going on any missions until the job is finished."

Jack swallowed, nodding his head, his mind still reeling at the task before him. He knew he should be grateful he hadn't been drummed out of the Air Force, but, God! He almost wished he *had* been! Looking back up at the general he asked,

"Sir? About the rest of my team? They're not in any trouble because they sided with me, are they?"

Hammond sighed. "Officially, no. There's nothing I can do to Dr. Jackson or Teal'c. And I believe Captain Carter can't be held accountable for her actions while she was experiencing problems with her memory."

"But un-officially?"

"Un-officially, they'll be restricted from 'gate travel as well. Until SG-1 is a complete team once more." Jack didn't need the general to spell it out for him: he knew until he had things squared away with Hammond, none of his team was going off-world.

"Yes, sir. I understand." Jack stared at the general, waiting to either be dismissed or have further restrictions placed on him.

"You're no longer confined to the base, so go home. Get some rest. I want you back here at 0800 tomorrow, ready to begin your work."

"Yes, sir. Thank you, sir." Jack managed to remember to salute the general as he was dismissed, only to be stopped from leaving by Hammond's voice.

"Was it worth it?"

Even with Sam refusing to talk to him, Jack didn't hesitate as he answered, "yes, sir. It was."

*********

Jack took his time making his way topside. Yesterday he would have tore out of the complex so fast, he would have been a blur heading through the check-points. This morning, however, Jack decided to give Sam the space she so obviously demonstrated she needed. Beer was sounding better by the moment, regardless it was only a little after ten in the morning.

Once he arrived home, he unlocked the door, stepping into the stuffy house. Jack couldn't help but think of how different this homecoming was from the one he'd envisioned. He wasn't naive enough to think there wouldn't be some repercussions for unauthorized 'gate use, but he thought Sam would be here with him. Not across town refusing to take his calls. Even while they were on Arrissa and he felt her walls going up, he had no clue he'd be standing here alone.

Walking into the kitchen, Jack noticed his answering machine blinking with several messages. Hoping one was Sam, he quickly pressed the button. Most he erased without responding to. There was one from Daniel, asking him to call and fill him in on what had happened with the general, but nothing from Sam. Jack couldn't say he was surprised, but he was disappointed.

Jack picked up the phone and dialed Daniel's number. On the second ring his friend answered.

"Hello?"

"Hey, Danny."

"Jack! What happened! Teal'c and I have been worried about you."

"Thanks, guys. At least someone cares," he said, reaching into his refrigerator for a beer.

"I take it you still haven't talked to Sam?"

"No, have you?"

"She called me last night, but we didn't talk long. She was pretty upset."

"Well, I wouldn't know. She wouldn't answer the phone," Jack said, bitterly.

"Uh, yeah. She mentioned something about you calling her," he hesitated, sounding like he didn't want to reveal too much of his conversation with Sam.

"Come on, Daniel. Just tell me what she said."

"Jack, I really think it's Sam's decision to tell you. . ."

"Damn it, Danny! How am I supposed to find out when she won't take my calls? I drove past her place but her car wasn't there. Daniel, what am I going to do?"

There was a pause before Daniel spoke again. "I really shouldn't be telling you this, Jack."

"Yeah, yeah, I know. Just tell me what she said."

"She said she was doing this for you. So she didn't get you into any more trouble than you're already in. Which reminds me. What did the general say?"

"One thing at a time, Daniel. So instead of trying to work things out, she's just not going to talk to me?"

"Does she have much of a choice?" Daniel asked. "I mean with the regulations and all?"

"I know it seems hopeless, but then so did getting her memory back."

"I don't know what to say, Jack. I didn't know what to say to her. But somehow the two of you need to connect. Otherwise our next mission is going to be hell."

"Yeah, about that. I wouldn't hold my breath."

"Jack?"

"Part of my 'punishment' is SG-1 doesn't go off-world until I finish my 'penance.'"

"And that would be?"

"Re-programming the base's computers so something like this doesn't happen again."

There was another silence then Daniel said, "You're kidding, right?"

"No, I'm serious as a heart attack, buddy."

"Jack, no offense, but when the general made that quip about you and your e-mail, he wasn't too far off base."

"Don't I know it," Jack sighed, taking a large swig from his beer.

"Well, I'll help you. I'm sure Sam. . ."

"That was one of the stipulations. No help from you, Sam or anyone else on the base."

"Shit."

"Yeah."

"So. . . .how long do you think. . . ."

"It's going to take me? I'll be ready to retire by the time we're authorized to go out again. I almost wish he would have court-martialed me. At least then I could be with Sam," he sighed.

"Jack, I know this seems like Labors of Hercules right now but. . ."

"Who?"

"Hercules, you know, from Greek mythology?"

"Jesus, Daniel! Can't you ever come up with an analogy from this century?"

"Don't try to distract me, Jack. Look, we'll find a way to help you. I don't know how just yet, but don't give up hope."

"Yeah, hope. It's all I got these days."

"Jack? Are you gonna be okay? I mean, Teal'c and I could come over. . . ."

"Thanks, Danny, but I've got my bud here," he said, smiling at the pun he made, gazing at the label of his Budwieser. "I'll talk to ya later."

"Okay," Daniel said, sounding confused. "If you feel like talking, give me a call."

"Sure. Bye." Jack hung up the phone and emptied his bottle. "Yup. Time to get real friendly with a couple of my good buds."

*********

Sam pulled up to Jack's house, looking for signs of his car. It wasn't in the driveway, and he rarely parked in the garage, so it was probably safe. She looked at the key in her hand. Jack had given it to her when she lived there, and she felt a little odd using it now to enter his house while he was gone. But she needed her things. After last night, he would probably be just as glad to see them gone. She had no idea when he would be released from the base, so she knew she better take this opportunity to gather her clothing before she ran into him.

It wasn't that she couldn't face him, so much as she knew she wouldn't be able to stick to her resolve should he try to convince her to keep things the way they were. While they were on the base, things would be a little easier. At least being surrounded by the military would help to keep her perspective. But here, in his home, where she'd been the happiest in her life, she didn't have that safety net. Truth was, she missed him terribly. Her bed had never felt lonely, but last night it seemed to almost swallow her. She remembered waking in the early hours of the morning, reaching for him, calling his name only to fully wake and realize he'd never been there.

Sam took a deep breath and pulled on the car's door handle. If she was going to do this, she better do it now before Jack arrived.

She should have realized something was up when the door wasn't locked, but she was so concerned about getting in and out quickly, Sam didn't notice her key wasn't needed. She walked into the living room and jumped, surprised to see Jack sitting on the sofa. Beer bottles were strewn on the coffee table his feet were propped on. They simply stared at each other, both speechless until Sam finally manage to whisper,

"I thought you were confined to the base."

"I was. Is that why you came over? Because you thought I wouldn't be here?" Jack's tone was hard, accusing, and she knew she deserved it.

"Yes," was all she could manage to answer as she stared at him. He looked like hell. Obviously he'd slept about as much as she had last night.

"So, why are you sneaking into my house?" Jack asked, lifting his beer to take a long swallow.

"I. . .I came to get my things," Sam said, unable to tear her eyes from his gaze. "I'm sorry about the 'breaking and entering' part." She walked a little closer, handing him his key. "I won't do it again."

Jack stared at her outstretched hand. "I don't want it. I gave it to you, Sam."

"You gave it to me when I was living here. I'm not anymore," she choked out.

"You could be."

"You think this is easy for me, Jack? You think this is how I want to see these past weeks to end?"

"Then how come you are? I never told you to get out of my house! I never told you I didn't want to talk about it! I wasn't the one who made a unilateral decision and told you this is how it's going to be, take it or leave it!"

"Give me an option, Jack! Tell me how we can stay together both on duty and off and I'll take it!"

Jack patted his shirt, moving down to his pant legs. "I seem to be fresh out of options. Sorry."

"Don't be like that, Jack."

"Like what? I'm supposed to take this lying down? Just let you walk out of my life with a smile on my face?"

"It's not like we're not going to see each other."

"Oh, I'm sorry. You're right. I'm going to get to sit across a table in the briefing room from you, share close quarters with you. And let's not forget all those cozy camping trips off-world where I won't be able to touch you. You're right," he repeated. "I'll get to see you everyday, as a reminder of what we had. A reminder of how much I love you."

"Jesus, Jack! You make it sound like this isn't killing me as well!" Sam said, wrapping her arms protectively around her stomach as she turned her back to him.

"Do you know how much I care for you? Thought about you even before the accident? Then, all of a sudden, I can't remember why I'm fighting my attraction to you, so I give in and it's the best thing that's ever happened to me. Even though I couldn't remember all of who I was, I did know, for the first time, I felt complete. Like I'd finally found my way home. But then I got my little dose of reality. I remember why we can't be together. I've already gotten you into enough trouble by letting you take me to Arrissa. I'm not going to see you court-martialed on top of that."

"I think you're memory's still screwed up, Carter. *I* was the one who talked *you* into going to Arrissa."

"But if it wasn't for me. . . "

"I would have done it for anyone!" Jack shouted. "If it had been Danny or Teal'c, I would have done the same thing. So don't you go trying to rationalize this as being for my own good!"

Sam nodded her head. She knew it was true. He would do anything for any of them, regardless of the consequences to himself. It was one of the reasons she loved him so much. His selflessness, his integrity, his loyalty.

"It doesn't change the fact it's still against regulations," Sam said, her back still to him.

"Fuck the regulations!" Jack exploded, throwing his beer bottle. Sam turned at the sound of breaking glass, watching the amber liquid run down the wall, almost as if it were flowing in slow motion. She was surprised by his outburst, and was turning to tell him so when she felt him grip her upper arms, moving her to face him. He wasn't hurting her, but she knew it would take some serious effort to escape him.

"You're drunk!" she accused.

"Not even close," he said, moving his face nearer to hers. She could smell alcohol on his breath, but it wasn't overwhelming. "Don't do this to us, Sam. Please."

His tone had lost all the anger it had possessed only moments before, as his warm breath caressed her ear. Sam felt a shiver go through her at his proximity. She felt his hands loosen their hold on her as he slid his arms around her waist, pulling her closer. She could have easily stepped away from him, but Sam found herself rooted to the spot, mesmerized by his eyes. She was so weak where Jack was concerned. She could be staring into the mid-day sun and he could convince her it was night.

Even before they started moving towards one another, she knew he was going to kiss her. Or she was going to kiss him. It was inevitable. At first it was slow and gentle, both testing the other. It didn't take him long to deepen the contact, pulling her so tight against him she lost what little breath she had.

They stood for an instant, an eternity reveling in the sensations of the kiss, neither one wanting to be the first to break the contact. Almost by silent agreement they broke apart at the same time to take a breath.

"Are you really ready to give up on this so easily?" Jack asked, tracing his thumbs over her cheeks as his fingers cradled the back of her head.

"It was never an easy decision, Jack. You know that."

"Yeah, I do," he sighed, trailing light kisses down her jaw and neck.

He was driving her insane, burning the last of her resistance away as she felt her body ignite with the passion she had always felt for him. And now, after Arrissa, always had taken on an entirely new meaning. Without another word, she took his hand, leading him towards the bedroom.

*********

The sun was beginning to set as Jack woke. Sam was gone, and for one panicked moment he thought she'd left again. But then he noticed her clothes on the floor, mixed with his. Only his shirt was missing. He smiled at the thought of her in his over-sized shirt. There was just something sexy about a woman wearing his clothes. Especially when that woman was Sam.

He wasn't surprised it was late. They'd both been exhausted. Not only from the number of times they'd made love, but from the sleepless night they'd both endured. Jack didn't pretend to believe sleeping with Sam had solved their problems. All it proved was they had no will power when it came to being in the same room together.

Jack climbed out of bed, slipped on his boxers and went in search of Sam. He had ventured only as far as the living room when he spotted her, standing before the window, watching the sunset. As quietly as he could he stole up behind her, sliding his arms around her waist. She didn't even flinch at the contact, which surprised Jack, as if she were expecting him.

"Morning," he said, placing a kiss on the back of her neck.

"Uh, night is more like it. Remember you're facing west," she smiled.

"It feels like morning to me. I haven't slept that good since the last time you were here."

"Jack, it was only two days ago!"

"I know, but it feels like a lifetime."

Sam sighed. "Yeah, it does. I can't believe how much has happened in so short a time."

Jack wound his arms tighter around her, resting his head on Sam's shoulder. "So, what happens now?"

Sam was quiet for so long, Jack wondered if she was going to answer him.

"I don't know," she whispered. "I just know I don't think I can live without you. Maybe being a civilian consultant wouldn't be so bad," she ventured.

"No, Sam. I'm not going to give up the best second I've ever had. Until we went to Arrissa, I never understood how it was we worked so well together from day one. Now I do."

Sam turned around, looking him in the eye. "You believe what I told you? What Ishandar told you?"

"We've seen a *lot* of weird shit in our time with the Stargate program. I can't say I buy it hook, line and sinker, but there's got to be some truth to it. I couldn't love you this much in just one lifetime."

Sam's eyes filled with tears as she wrapped her arms around his neck pulling him so close, it was Jack's turn to find breathing difficult. "Wait until I tell Daniel and Teal'c what a wonderful, romantic sap you are, Colonel." She pulled back slightly, kissing him so long she stole what little air he had.

When Sam finally allowed him a breath, he said, "you mention this little conversation to *anyone* and you'll live to regret it." He tried to keep his voice stern, but he couldn't do it when she was smiling at him.

"Or what? You'll punish me? I think I look forward to that," she said, kissing him again. Suddenly she pulled back. "That reminds me. You never told me what Hammond said."

Jack took her hand, leading her to the sofa where he took a seat, pulling Sam down next to him. He wrapped his arm over her shoulders, drawing her to his chest. "I'm not being court-martialed."

"Jack! That's wonderful! I knew the General would find some way to help you. God! That's got to be such a relief! Why didn't you tell me?"

"Well, for starters, it wasn't exactly the topic of conversation when you showed up this morning." Remembering his anger, he looked at the wall where he'd thrown his beer. The mess that had been there was gone. As were the empty bottles that had littered the table before them.

"You cleaned up? Sam you didn't have to. . ."

"I know, but I couldn't sleep any more. And I didn't think either of us wanted a reminder of that conversation."

Jack pulled her closer. "You're right. Thank you."

Sam waved her hand dismissively. "So what did he say?"

"That he was disappointed in my behavior. God, I think that hurt worst of all," Jack said, running a hand through his hair. "To know I'd let him down, broke his trust. I think that's what hurt him the most too."

"Surely he didn't just let you off the hook," Sam said.

"Oh, no. He's going to make me pay. Big time. First off, there's an official reprimand in my permanent file. I'm really not that concerned about that. I've already retired as a Colonel twice. If that's all the farther I make it up the chain of command, well, worse things could happen. In fact, they did."

"What do you mean?"

Jack sighed, shaking his head. "Hammond told me he doesn't want anything like this to happen again. So he's assigned me the monumental task of upgrading the base's computers so someone else doesn't try it."

"Well, that shouldn't be so hard, I mean all you'll have to do is. . ."

"It might be a walk in the park for you, Sam, but we're talking about me, here. You know, Mr. isn't-a-mouse-something-you-catch-in-a-trap?"

"Well, I'll help you. I can tell you how to go about it."

"That was the stipulation the General gave me. Specifically no help from you or Daniel or anyone else on the base. And until I finish, SG-1 is on stand-down. No off-world travel for any of us."

"Shit," Sam said, unwittingly repeating Daniel's reaction.

"Ya. Tell me about it."

"Well, if we're going to try and slide our relationship past the general, why not my helping you with the computers?"

"Excuse me? What did you just say?"

"I think if I leak you a little information each day about how to fix the computers, Hammond won't suspect my help."

"No, I mean the bit before that. The part about sliding our relationship past the general?"

Sam sat up to look him in the eye. "Oh, that," Sam said, a grin spreading across her face. "I figured if people with alternative lifestyles in the military have a 'don't ask, don't tell' policy, why shouldn't it apply to us? I mean as long as we don't act different at work, keep our relationship professional, why should he suspect? After all, it's been weeks and he hasn't said anything, right?"

"He hasn't been around you and I together for weeks, either. Think you can keep your hands off me while we're on the base?"

Sam sighed. "It'll be tough, but I think I can handle it. After all, I've been doing it for over two years!"

"Captain Carter, I never knew you were capable of such restraint."

"You'd be surprised," she said, crawling up his chest to kiss him once more.

"What about Teal'c and Daniel? Think they'll say anything?" Jack asked, running his hand down her side, over her hip, then starting back up her body, this time under the shirt she'd commandeered.

"I think our secret's safe with them," she said, playing with the hair on his chest. "They've been in our corner for awhile now."

Jack kissed the top of her head as his hands continued exploring under the shirt. "Sweet," he murmured. And is was.

*********

EPILOGUE

General Hammond watched from the control room as SG-1 waited at the base of the ramp to embark on their first mission since their "hiatus." Dr. Jackson had recently been cleared for 'gate travel, almost as Colonel O'Neill had finished his upgrade to the computers. If he didn't know better, Hammond would have thought they'd timed the events to coincide with each other.

Frankly, he was rather surprised O'Neill had managed the improvements as quickly as he had, even though it had taken him nearly a month to accomplish. Hammond couldn't say for sure, but he could have sworn some of the notes the colonel worked from looked to be in handwriting suspiciously similar to Captain Carter's. He hadn't questioned O'Neill on it, but Hammond knew if he gave the colonel a "pop quiz" on some of his procedures, there wasn't much of a chance he'd pass. O'Neill had struggled sufficiently on his task that Hammond felt he didn't need to be a stickler for the "no help" restriction he'd placed on him.

Secretly, Hammond was glad he could release SG-1 from their suspension. They were still his best team, and it was obvious throughout the SGC their talents had been missed. Moral was at an all-time high with Captain Carter and Dr. Jackson's return. He couldn't fail to notice how well they were all getting along. Especially O'Neill and Carter. Perhaps it was just Jack's relief at having his 2IC back, but Hammond doubted it. A person had to be blind not to see the connection that had always existed between the two of them, and Hammond had excellent eyesight.

The general reached for the microphone, announcing to the embarkation room, "SG-1, you have a go. Good luck people."

He saw O'Neill nod as the 'gate started it's rotation. Then, as if by silent agreement, both O'Neill and Carter turned, looked up at the control room and saluted him. He wasn't sure they could see his answering salute, but he performed the motion just the same, feeling his throat tighten. Yes, it was good to have them back, he thought. And if his officer's gazes at each other weren't quite platonic, who was he to question them?

The End

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