Disclaimers in part 1

*********

It'd been three weeks since Jon had had his transplant, and the stress was finally catching up with Sam. If she wasn't at the hospital, she was trying to give Kelsey some extra attention. Jeff was so swamped with trying to catch up on his back-log of work, he wasn't much help. Sam didn't blame him for his absence, but a little more assistance would have been welcome.

Sam didn't know what she would have done if Jack hadn't been there to lend a hand. He'd been released from the hospital the day after his aspiration, but continued to visit Jon daily, giving her a break to accomplish some household duties, even get a little sleep.

Jeff and Jack rarely crossed paths as Jack would leave before Jeff showed up for his nightly visits. Sam started to jokingly refer to the transition as the "changing of the guard," and Jack quickly picked up on the phrase.

Sam wasn't surprised when Jack announced he was going to look for an apartment, but Jeff seemed to take it personally. They'd fought, once again, about Jack's continued presence, when it was obvious Jon was improving.

"I just don't understand why he's hanging around!" Jeff exclaimed as he sat down to dinner. It was the first time in weeks they'd eaten together since Jon's illness. His absence at the table was obvious, but at least the three of them attempted to eat a meal together, even if it was take-out.

"Jeff, he's concerned about him! And besides, the time he spends with Jon gives me the opportunity to catch up on things! I was even able to go into work for a few hours yesterday."

"Jon's a big kid! I think he can stand to be alone a couple of hours a day!" Jeff countered.

"How would you like to be ten years-old, trapped in a hospital with only a TV and a Gameboy? Especially for weeks on end? Of course he *could* be alone, but I don't want him to be! It's not like there's someone with him 24 hours a day! But he needs some distractions! And Jack deserves the right to get to know him!"

Jeff shot a glance at her then nodded towards Kelsey, who was watching them with huge eyes. She didn't know anything about Jack being Jon's real father, but she looked at her parents as if something was wrong.

The rest of their dinner was spent in an uncomfortable silence. Sam had lost her appetite, but waited for Kelsey to finish before clearing the plates from the table. Once they were alone, she picked up the thread of their argument.

"You might as well know, Jack's looking at apartments."

"What? What the hell for? I thought he has a house in Colorado Springs. Doesn't he have to look after that?"

"He's not leaving until Jon's out of the hospital, Jeff, so you might as well get used to the idea. And he's tired of living in a motel room."

"Why don't you just move him into the spare room while you're at it?" Jeff spat.

Sam sighed, gathering his plate and empty food cartons. "He's looking at furnished apartments in St. Paul so he's close to the hospital. He's going to be fifteen miles away! It's not like he's going to be in the neighborhood! Besides, I feel better knowing he's close to the hospital if something should happen when we're not there. He can be there in five minutes instead of close to twenty."

"And what about me? Don't I have a say in this?"

"A say in what? You can't tell Jack where he can live and where he can't! If he decided to move in next door you couldn't do anything about it!" Sam was slamming dishes into the sink, stopping her tirade when a plate broke. Covering her face with her hands she burst into tears.

"I'm so tired of fighting, Jeff. I'm tired of having my life being on hold waiting for Jon to stabilize so he can come home. And I'm tired of playing referee between you and Jack." She wiped her eyes, turning to face him. "When you come to the hospital tomorrow, I'm going to help Jack find a place to rent." She started to leave the kitchen, but Jeff caught her by the arm, holding tightly, but not enough to hurt her.

"What's happening to us, Sam? We never used to fight like this! When was the last time we made love? Or you even kissed me for that matter? I'll tell you. When Jack showed up. How do you expect me to be happy about him sticking around when he's the root of all our problems?"

Sam pulled out of his grasp. "Don't you go blaming this on Jack! You know damn well we were having problems long before he came! If you didn't suspect something was wrong, what was with the big show of romance? You know as well as I do we haven't had a marriage for years!"

"And whose fault is that?" he practically shouted. "I tried! I tried to show you how much I love you, but you just kept pushing me away. And then Jack shows up! And he's taking everything from me! He's taking my son and he's taking you!"

"You want to know what 'took' me from you? It was you and your attitude towards the military! How do you expect me to love you when you're ashamed of what I am? What I did? I'm damn proud of the work I've done! It was an *honor* to serve my country! You think I went into the Air Force simply because it was 'the family business?' I had a goal, Jeff! I was going to get into NASA, I was going to fly shuttles! Would that have embarrassed you too? Or would that have had more 'class' for you and your snobby family?"

"What the hell is that supposed to mean?"

"You think I don't know that that's the reason you're embarrassed to tell anyone I was in the service? You didn't want anyone to know that your mini-van driving little housewife carried an automatic weapon!"

"Sam, I've never had a problem with what you do!"

"With what I do now! Of course you're not embarrassed to tell them I'm an astrophysicist, because it makes you look good!"

"And just how does it make *me* look good?" he shouted.

"Well of *course* you must be smart too, if you've got a wife who's doing that kind of work for a living! I used to be proud of the fact that you were man enough to not be intimidated by my making more money than you, until I figured out *why* it didn't bug you!"

"Sam, you're way off base here."

"Am I? If you're so damn secure, why does Jack being here bother you so much? It's not like he's trying to take your place in Jon's life! I've heard him tell Jon the same thing--that you're his dad, but he'd like to be his friend. What's so terrible about that?"

"I'm sure that's what he says when you're in the room," Jeff countered.

"If Jack was telling him something different when I wasn't around, Jon would ask me about it," Sam said.

"Okay, but I don't like how he looks at you, either!"

Sam threw up her arms, then settled her hands on her hips. "And how is he looking at me?"

"Like he's still in love with you."

"You're crazy. For one thing, Jack was never in love with me. It's why I left."

"Well, then you must be blind, because he sure can't keep his eyes off you. Any more than you can keep your eyes off him."

Sam felt the fluttering in her stomach that was now becoming common place whenever she thought of Jack. Fighting about him was one thing, but when she thought of the way she felt when she looked into Jack's eyes, she felt like a teenager with her first crush. Unconsciously, she rubbed her hand over her abdomen, as if to dispel the butterflies that had taken up residence.

"You can't tell me seeing him again hasn't dredged up old feelings. For both of you," Jeff said, his voice returning to a normal tone.

"Well, naturally, he makes me think of the old days. But it isn't any different than when Daniel and Janet visit."

"Bullshit," he said quietly. "Let's just drop this, okay? I knew I wasn't going to get a straight answer out of you anyway. Whether you're lying to protect him or lying to yourself, it doesn't matter. You're denying what's plain to see. And you're right. I don't have the right to say where Jack lives, but I do have the right to say who comes near my family. And I don't want him near my son. Or my wife."

"We're not your property, Jeff." Sam stated, trying to keep the anger from her voice. "And I wouldn't push Jack on this. I know him. He'll sue for custody. At the very least he'd be granted visitation. You really want Jack to have him a portion of every year?"

Jeff sighed. "You know I don't."

"Then I suggest you play nice. Let Jack have his time with him. Like you said, sooner or later he's going to have to return to Colorado Springs to take care of his house and whatever other affairs he has."

Jeff paced around the kitchen, rubbing his face with his hands. "Okay, all right. I'll back off, but only because I don't want him to get his hands on Jon. And I'd *appreciate* it if you didn't spend time at the hospital when he's there."

"I can't make any promises, Jeff."

"Yeah, well, I didn't expect you to," he said, exiting the room.

*********

It was late afternoon the next day when Jack came bursting into Jon's hospital room, excited as a child at Christmas.

"Sam! I found the perfect place! It's got a park next door, bike path to more parks, quiet neighborhood! It's perfect!" he repeated.

"What are you talking about?" Sam asked, marking the page of the book she'd been reading to Jon.

"Hello? The apartment?!" he said. "The one I've been looking for?!"

"I thought you wanted me to help you look for one," she said, slightly hurt he'd done it on his own, denying her the chance to spend more time in his company away from the hospital.

"I did! I do! I saw this place on the drive over here! I want you to come see it!" he said, pulling her out of her chair.

"What about Jon?" Sam asked, still shocked by Jack's whirlwind entrance.

"Jeff will be here in less than an hour. You'll be okay 'till then, won'tcha, Buddy?"

"Of course I will! I'm not a baby!"

"See? It's settled. Let's go," Jack said starting to drag her toward the door.

"Jon. . ."

"Make it an order, Jack, then she'll have to go!" Jon laughed.

Playing along with him, Jack grinned and said, "Major Carter! Get your butt out to my car on the double!"

Sam gave him a crisp salute. "Yes, sir!"

Jon was laughing at their antics as Jack looked back and said, "If I get this place, I'm takin' you to the park!"

"It's a deal!" Jon called as Jack rushed Sam out the door.

"What's the big hurry?" Sam asked.

"The building manager has a job to get to. He said if we could get there by six he could go over the rental contract."

"I don't think you need me there to watch you sign the contract, Jack. I think you're perfectly capable of doing it on your own if you like the place."

"There's just one catch that I didn't mention," he said, screwing up his face as if it pained him to reveal the next bit of information.

"What is it?" she asked, stopping dead in her tracks, refusing to take one more step until he clarified things.

"Well, ya see, the owners are kinda picky who they rent to."

"So? You're of a 'mature age,' I don't think anyone's going to think you're going to trash the place with wild drug parties."

"Well, it's a little more than that," he said, still scrunching up his features.

"Would you just spit it out, Jack!"

"They only rent to married couples." He said it in such a rush, Sam wasn't sure if she heard him correctly.

"Well, you're not married," she needlessly pointed out.

"Not at the moment," he said, giving her a sideways glance.

"Oh, no! You want me to. . .You're kidding, right? Jack this is ridiculous! This only happens in bad romance novels!"

"Come on, Sam! It'll only take an hour of your time. Just pretend to be my wife, and then I can tell the neighbors you travel a lot. It's not like people don't already think we're married! Hell, half the hospital staff calls you 'Mrs. O'Neill!'"

Sam blushed at his words. She knew Jack was right as she'd corrected several people on the mistake. She supposed she could see how the nursing staff could get the wrong impression when they were the people who visited Jon the most.

"Okay, if this place is so great and you can't stand to lose it, I'll do it."

Jack gave a whoop, sweeping her up into a big hug, and Sam couldn't help but smile at him. Who would have thought an apartment would get him so excited?

"Come on," he said, taking her by the hand and running toward the entrance. "We don't have much time."

***

On the drive to the apartment Jack kept up a running commentary about how great his 'new apartment' was. She'd had to remind him several times that he didn't have it yet. She had to admit it was a nice neighborhood, and surprisingly quiet for it's proximity to the expressway. And it was close to the hospital. It did indeed seem to have it all.

Entering the rental office, Jack took Sam's hand. She looked down at their joined hands and then back up at him.

"Well, we've got to play the part, ya know."

"If you really want us to look like a married couple you wouldn't be standing anywhere near me," she teased.

"Sam, this is gonna be a piece of cake. No one knows we're not married."

"Except for the fact you don't have a ring," she pointed out. "At least I have one," she said, looking guiltily down at her left hand. It wasn't like she was actually doing anything wrong pretending to be Jack's wife. The trouble was, it felt good. The thought that they were looking at apartments together made her feel twenty years younger, almost as if she *was* a newlywed.

They entered the building just as the manager was leaving. A short, balding man, he was juggling a briefcase and a cup of coffee trying to lock his door.

"Can I give you a hand?" Sam offered, taking the coffee from his precarious hold.

"Uh, thank you. . .Miss. . .?"

"Mrs. O'Neill," she said, casting a smile at Jack.

"Oh, yes! Mr. O'Neill! I'm surprised you returned so quickly!" he exclaimed, examining the couple before him.

"I was hoping to show Sam the apartment," he said, placing his hands on her shoulders.

"You were quite taken with it," he smiled. "Jordan Marsh," the manager said, holding out his now free hand.

"Samantha Carter," she said, shaking his hand. "O'Neill," she added as Jack jabbed her in the ribs.

Jordan checked his watch. "Well, I'm going to be a bit late, but I think my employer will understand. Especially since he owns this building! Let me get the keys, and I'll take you up."

Opening the door he just locked, Jordan deposited his brief case and retrieved a huge key ring with several dozen keys attached.

"It's on the second floor," he said, leading the way. Sam and Jack exchanged glances; she couldn't help but continue to be amused by Jack's enthusiasm.

2C was just off the landing, and at the end of the hall was a beautiful stained glass window. Sam's breath caught when she saw it.

"Gorgeous, isn't it?" Mr. Marsh said proudly. "These apartments were once part of mansion. There's only six units, so it's nice and quiet. And all the tenants are very friendly. I'm sure you'd be quite happy here."

That's the trouble, Sam thought. She was already taken with the place. Of course part of that might have to do with the fantasy she was playing out at the moment. Pretending to be Jack's wife was heady enough without "playing house" as well.

Jordan unlocked the door, swinging it wide.

"Oh, my, God!" Sam breathed as she took in the room. A huge bay window dominated the living room, allowing the afternoon sun to flood the room with light. There was a marble fireplace to the left and the kitchen was to the right. The living room and kitchen shared the same expanse, and even though it was fully modern, the new kitchen blended in with the older decor perfectly. This was the kind of home she'd always dreamed of having. Not that the house she and Jeff built wasn't nice, but she'd never imagined herself living in a sub-division, no matter how nice or exclusive. This apartment had character. It had life. It *was* perfect.

"Oh, Jack," she sighed. "I can see why you fell in love with this place!"

"The bedrooms are back here," Jordan pointed out. The master bedroom was a work of art, same as the living room. More bay windows dominated the room, with stained glass panels at the top of each section.

"And this second bedroom is used as a home office," the manager said. It was smaller than the master bedroom, but had the same great light, and hardwood floors. After seeing the huge bathroom, complete with a clawfoot tub, Sam declared it "a religious experience."

"So," Jordan said, pushing is round wire-frame glasses up his nose, "I take it you like it, Mrs. O'Neill?"

"Oh, yes!" she exclaimed, turning to Jack, she said, "You have to take it!"

"*We* have to take it," he stressed.

"Of course! That's what I meant," she said, blushing.

"Well, since I've met your wife, I have to admit you would be perfect for us as well. If you'd join me in the office we'll take care of the formalities?"

"We'll join you in just a minute," Jack said. Jordan stared at them for a moment, then seemed to realize they wanted some time alone.

"Oh! Yes! Of course! I'll meet you down stairs."

Once they were alone, Jack turned to Sam. "Didn't I tell you this place was terrific! And all this cool stuff comes with it! I suppose that's why they want to rent to someone 'responsible.' Thank you so much for going along with this!" He swept her up into another hug, holding her so tight she was having difficulty breathing. At least she assumed that was the reason she was breathless.

Sam reluctantly disengaged herself from Jack's embrace, shaking her head.

"What?" he asked.

"I just never thought you'd get so excited over an apartment, that's all. No matter how great. Sounds more like Daniel than you!"

"Every other furnished apartment looked like larger versions of a motel room. I couldn't live like that anymore."

Sam had to admit, in the past, when she'd been to Jack's house in Colorado Springs, she was surprised how "cozy" it seemed for a guy. Not that it was effeminate, or overtly masculine. It was comfortable, relaxed. This apartment had that same feel, so she could see how he was anxious to leave the sterile atmosphere of his motel room.

Jack reached out, caressing Sam's cheek. "Thanks again for doing this for me."

Sam froze at the contact. She felt a rush of electricity flow through her, making her knees weak. How was it possible he could affect her so much with just a light touch? Her gaze remained locked with Jack's, afraid to move or blink.

Finally he broke the moment between them. "We should probably get downstairs so that Marsh guy can get to work."

Sam merely nodded, afraid her voice would betray how much his touch had shaken her.

***

Sam took a seat next to Jack, looking over the contract in his hands. Everything seemed to be in order, other than the rental period. It stated the contract was for one year. Jack was about to sign the paper when she quietly whispered to him,

"Jack, it's a contract for a year. And you can't sub-let."

He turned to face her, smiling. "I know."

Sam sat back, watching as Jack signed the paper in three different areas. Did that mean he was going to just let the apartment sit empty once Jon was out of the hospital, or did it mean he was planning on staying in the area at least a year? Part of her was elated he might consider staying after Jon was released, but there was the other part of her that had to deal with Jeff and his jealousy. How hard would it be to live with Jeff, when he knew Jack was only on the other side of the city?

Jack signed the last page with a flourish. "Your turn, Mrs. O'Neill."

Sam knew it was highly illegal for her to be agreeing to this contract under a false name, but as Jack had pointed out, who was to find out? Taking the pen from his hand, she signed, "Samantha Carter-O'Neill," three times, surprised at how easily the name flowed from her hand. She thought for sure she'd hesitate when she reached "O'Neill" and didn't write "Greenfield," but it hadn't happened.

Jack paid his security deposit, first and last month's rent, and took his copy of the rental agreement from Mr. Marsh.

"Congratulations, Mr. and Mrs. O'Neill. Here's a key for each of you, and you can move in when ever you like." Everyone exchanged handshakes, and Jack dropped his arm around Sam's shoulders, as if the gesture was completely natural.

"Whaddya say, Honey? Should we move in?"

*********

Jack accepted Sam's offer to help him re-locate, although he didn't have much to actually move. Everything would fit into his car, but he wasn't in a hurry to part with Sam's company. After dropping her off to pick up her van at the hospital, he drove to his new home, waiting for her to arrive. He was a little surprised when she took so long, but eventually he saw the familiar red van pulling into the parking lot.

"Sorry," she said, upon leaving her vehicle. "I wanted to check on Jon quickly and Jeff was there. I told him I was helping you move. He wasn't too happy about it."

"Well, I guess I can see his point. I don't have that much stuff. If this is going to cause a problem for you, Sam. . . . "

"No, he already knew I was planning on apartment hunting with you tonight. He should just be glad you found one so fast."

"Well, I appreciate the help. I should probably get some groceries, too."

"I spotted a store about two blocks down. Do you want me to go and pick out some stuff for you?"

"Naw. How about we carry this stuff up, then I'll come with you, okay?"

"Sounds good," she said, jamming her hands into the pockets of her jeans.

Sam seemed nervous, he noticed. It had only been about an hour ago they'd pulled off the "husband and wife" routine without a hitch, and now she was all shy again. Had Jeff said something to upset her?

He had to admit, pretending Sam was his wife had come pretty easily. In fact, he couldn't remember any actual acting going on. She seemed as comfortable in the apartment as he felt; having her there just felt. . .right. He tried to shake that feeling. She wasn't supposed to feel right. She was supposed to be his friend. His very *married* friend.

In two trips they had his belongings in the apartment and were on their way to the market. Sam kept trying to load him down with fruits and vegetables, while he kept gravitating toward the freezer section and it's selection of microwaveable meals.

The were still laughing about Jack's lack of culinary expertise as he unlocked the door, swinging it open. He place his bags inside, then took Sam's from her, placing them next to his. She turned a questioning gaze towards him, but before she could speak, Jack literally swept her off her feet, carrying her through the doorway.

"Jack! What are you doing?" she cried, still giddy from all their previous teasing.

"I'm carrying you over the threshold, what does it look like?"

"Um, Jack, it really isn't necessary, especially since we're not married."

"Yeah, but the neighbors don't know that," he whispered. Didn't you notice the audience we had out there?"

"I can't say that I did," she commented, looking around his shoulder. "Okay. Now I see her," she whispered back. "Blue hair. 2 A."

"She still there?" he spoke into her ear.

"Yeah."

"Make it look real, Sam," he said as his lips descended on hers. At first she was struggling, obviously shocked he was kissing her, but after a moment she was kissing him back. Whether she was following his instructions or her instincts, he couldn't be sure. All he knew he was so lost in the sensation there could have been a hundred people in the hall observing them and he wouldn't have noticed.

He broke for a breath, only to find Sam's mouth on his again, kissing him so deeply he barely remembered not to drop her. Carrying her further into the room, he kicked the door shut with his foot, all the while making sure his mouth didn't break contact with hers. He slid her down his body, wrapping one hand around her waist, pulling her close, the other weaving it's way into her hair, playing with the silky strands. Her hands encircled him, running up and down his back, as if she could claw her way through his shirt.

"Oh, God, Sam," he moaned into her mouth. Abruptly she pulled away, as if she'd suddenly been doused with ice water.

"Oh, Jack! I'm sorry! I'm so sorry! I shouldn't have done that! I can't be doing this!" she cried, backing out of his arms. "I have to go," she mumbled, tears filling her eyes.

"Sam! Wait! Don't go like this! Please! I don't want make the same mistake again! Talk to me!"

Sam looked at him with sorrowful eyes. "I can't right now, Jack. I need to think! I've got to go!"

Before he could stop her, Sam was gone. Out the door and down the stairs.

*********

Sam unlocked the door of her van with shaky hands, quickly climbing in and slamming the door. Gripping the steering wheel, she lay her head against the padded cover. God, what was she thinking? What was *he* thinking? Had all the pretending gone to both their heads?

She had to admit she'd looked forward to seeing him at the hospital; it was almost like old times, seeing him daily. But when did he take up residence in her mind so her first thought in the morning was of him, and he was the last thing she thought of at night?

She wanted him, that much was obvious from her reaction to his kiss. God, all she wanted to do was remain in his arms, kissing him until he dragged her off to the bedroom. . . . Was it just because it had been so long since she and Jeff had been together, or was it something more? Something she'd been denying since she first saw him at the airport?

Sam could still feel the sensation of his lips on hers. There was such an ache in her chest at the memory, she felt tears welling up once more. Putting her hand on the ignition, she started to turn the key, but she couldn't make the motion to start the van. It was almost as if a physical force was preventing her from leaving.

*I'll just sit here for a minute,* she thought. *Just long enough to get myself under control so Jeff doesn't immediately suspect something.*

Sam took a few deep breaths, glancing in the rear view mirror. She noticed the light come on in what would be Jack's bedroom. Staring at the window, she silently agreed with herself that when the light went out, she'd go. But the light didn't go out. She waited but still the light burned. Sam could make out movement in the room, making her feel like a voyeur, spying on him.

She should just go. What was she doing still sitting there anyway? She'd been in such a hurry to get away from him, what was holding her in the parking lot? The look of hurt and confusion in his eyes for one thing, she told herself. And that she just didn't want to leave him. But where could this go? If she went back to his apartment, she knew what would happen. They wanted each other, no matter how wrong it was. And it *was*wrong. This was more than breaking a few antiquated regulations. It was tossing out every moral she'd ever been raised to believe in. And yet she found herself with her hand on the door handle, his pull on her irresistible.

Sam didn't remember crossing the parking lot or even climbing the stairs. All she knew she was before Jack's door, knuckles raised to knock.

*This is your last chance, Sam,* her conscience screamed at her. *Don't give up everything you know is right, just for a night of pleasure.*

Her knock sounded unnaturally loud in her ears as she rapped on the wood. In the span of time it would take Jack to cross to the door, she could be gone. Spare them both the agony that was sure to come. But her feet refused to move.

"Yeah?" he asked, opening the door. Jack simply stared at her, mouth dropping open in shock.

Sam swallowed, trying to find her voice. "I don't know what I'm doing here," she said so softly, she was surprised he'd even heard her.

"I do," he said, pulling her into the apartment, quickly closing the door. Whether he shut the door to preserve their privacy or prevent her escape, Sam couldn't say.

They simply stared at each other, trying to gauge the other's reaction to this sudden change of events.

"Sam, I. . . "

She placed her fingers over his lips. "No, not yet. I don't want to talk. I just want to feel." With that she practically flew at him, replacing her fingers with her lips, opening her mouth to deepen their kiss.

Jack's hands were everywhere on her body and hers were equally mobile, pulling his shirt out of his jeans, raking her nails over his shoulders and down his chest as she removed the garment. She couldn't stop her triumphant smile as he moaned at her touch.

Sam's mind was a blur as the situation rapidly burned out of control. He'd backed her over to the couch, working the buttons on her blouse as he went, following the path of his fingers with light kisses.

Sam tried to dredge up some feeling of remorse, a reason she should put a stop to the madness before things went too far, but it was too late. She realized she'd already gone too far when she'd exited the van. Her fate had been sealed.

Jack divested her of her shirt and was now working on her bra, torturing her by placing delicate kisses along the equally delicate lace.

"Oh, Jack," she moaned, arching under his touch. "I missed you so much. I just kept denying it."

"Shhhhh," he said, kissing her once more. "No talking, remember?" he slid a hand under her bra, caressing her breast, producing another sigh. "Moaning, however, is allowed."

She captured his mouth once more, kissing him deeply before blazing her own trail along his jaw and down his throat. This time it was Jack's turn to become vocal, as he raked his fingers through her hair. He pushed her down on the sofa, working on removing her jeans. Taking his lead, Sam began to do the same with his. All coherent thought was forgotten as they frantically removed restrictive clothing; neither in the mood for slow, tender loving. Next time, Sam promised herself. Next time they would totally rediscover one another.

***

Jack lay on top of Sam, trying to catch his breath as she reached up, caressing his cheek. She ran her thumb over his enticing lips, then kissed him softly.

"Jack, we have to move," she said, squirming under his weight. "This couch is definitely for looks only!"

Jack kissed her back, still slightly breathless. "Where do you suggest we go?"

Sam gave him one of her most brilliant smiles. "Bedroom," she said.

***

The second time they made love was definitely a more of a study in pleasure than the first. Still somewhat sated from their earlier encounter, they took their time in exploring each other. Each touch, each caress was electric, sending shocks along her nerves. Sam never knew there could be so many erotic ways to touch another person. Even Jack's hands trailing on her arms sent a rush of heat to her core.

Their love making was tantalizing, agonizingly slow, but neither did anything to hurry the other, both caught up in the sensations they were giving and receiving. The only sober thought Sam had as Jack finally sent her over the edge was how she hoped the building was adequately sound-proofed.

"It was better than the last time," Sam breathed, locked in his embrace. She placed a kiss on his shoulder, then snuggled down onto his chest.

"At least it wasn't quite so fast," Jack agreed.

"I'm talking about on the planet," Sam said. "I didn't think it was possible to top that night. I was wrong," she said, looking up into his eyes. Jack smiled, but looked confused.

"Jack, if we *had* talked about what had happened there, what would you have said to me?"

"I'm not sure," he replied. "I was scared, I know that much."

"Scared? Of what?"

"Of you. Of what you made me realize I felt for you. God, Sam! I was falling in love with my second-in-command and it was scaring the hell out of me! I know I was the one making things difficult for us. Making you feel uncomfortable around me. If I'd just admitted to myself I saw you as more than a colleague, we probably would have worked it out. But I was scared of what you were feeling as well. What if I misread your response to me? What if it really was just your reaction to what we thought was our last hours? I didn't want to face the fact it might have meant nothing to you," he said quietly. "Because it meant so much to me."

Tears were gathering in Sam's eyes. "It meant a lot to me, too, Jack. I felt I'd finally broken through your shell. For once I saw a glimpse of the man I knew you could be, and then it was gone. I think it's why I never really fell in love with Jeff," she confided. "In my mind I had this 'ideal,' this one perfect night of loving you. No one could live up to that expectation. Only you. And you weren't an option. I think our marriage was doomed from the start."

"Sam, I never thought I'd hear myself say this, but you can't claim it was all for nothing. Look at Kelsey! She's a terrific kid! And I was serious when I said you and Jeff have done a great job with Jon. It doesn't mean I'm happy he's got you, and them, but you can't say something good hasn't come out of your marriage."

Sam struggled out of Jack's arms to sit on the edge of the bed. "I can't believe I'm even having this conversation with you!"

"What are you talking about?"

"I mean, here I am in your bed, after having made love with you and we're discussing what a great guy my husband is! God, I feel so ashamed!" she cried, burying her face in her hands.

Jack placed a hand on her bare back. "I'm sorry, Sam. I wasn't trying to make you feel bad. I can't imagine how difficult this must be for you. But would it have been better not to express how we feel? To let it tear us apart a little more each day? Do you know how hard it's been for me to see you with Jeff? To know he's the one you're going home to? That he's the one who has everything I ever wanted?"

Sam turned to face him. "And what about now, Jack? I'm going to leave here and go home to him. And pretend I didn't sleep with you. Pretend I don't care about you. What kind of a life is that? For any of us? Is this all we'll ever have? Stolen moments together? We never should have done this. *I* never should have done this. Not only do I have the memories from the past, now I'll have tonight to haunt me as well."

Jack came up behind her, wrapping his arms around her. "I love you, Sam. And I'm not letting you go. I was a fool to let you slip away before. I'm not going to make the same mistake again."

"Jack, it's not that simple. If I asked Jeff for a divorce, you know he'd use you as the reason for our problems. He'll claim I was having an affair with you, and use it to take Kelsey and Jon from me. I can't let him do that. I *won't* lose my children."

"Sam, I won't let him do that to you. We'll find a way to work this out. I'm not giving up on you. Not this time." The determination in Jack's voice made her look into his eyes once more. She almost believed anything was possible when she stared into them. She understood why she'd felt the need to run away from him all those years ago, but she wished she hadn't. If only she'd had the courage to face him, tell him she was pregnant, so much would be different.

Jack kissed her lightly, sealing his promise to fight for her.

"We'll find a way," she agreed, placing her hands on the arms encircling her waist. Sam lay her head on Jack's shoulder for a moment, sighing. "I have to go."

"I know," he said, pulling her closer as if he had no intention of letting her go. He kissed her hair then released her.

Sam stood up, wrapping a sheet around her body, amazed she could feel so shy after the intimacy they'd just shared. Actually, now that she'd thought about it, what had made Jack purchase sheets even before he had the apartment? Had he anticipated this night even before she had?

"Care if I use your bathroom?" she asked, blushing from how awkward she still felt. She'd loved Jack for years, and yet the actuality of being with him was something that left her feeling like a teenager on her first date.

"Only if I can share the bathtub with you," he grinned, apparently more at ease with the change in their relationship than she was. Funny, considering he was the one who seemed the most uncomfortable the last time they found themselves in this situation.

"Think it's big enough?" she managed to smile back at him.

"We could test that theory, Doctor," he said, rising off the bed, embracing her once more.

"Oooo, I love it when you talk Ph.D. to me," she teased, leaning in for a kiss.

"I think it warrants further study," he said, dragging her off into the direction of the bathroom.

In the end, they discovered two bodies fit quite nicely into the tub, with a minimum of water displacement onto the floor. At least until Jack decided Sam needed to be totally submerged, and the ensuing water fight erupted. Only when she noticed the puddle of water encroaching on her clothes did Sam call a cease fire, which Jack gracefully accepted, having been out-maneuvered from the onset.

*********

Jack peeked out his door, surveying the hallway. "Looks like the coast is clear. No nosy neighbors."

Sam started to laugh, but covered her mouth to keep the giggle from escaping.

"I wish you didn't have to go," Jack said, pulling her close, resting his forehead on hers.

"I wish I didn't have to go either. It's already late," she pointed out.

"I know." Jack kissed her, pushing the slightly damp hair off her face. "See you tomorrow?"

"Yeah," she smiled, but her eyes were sad.

"'Night, Sam," he said, kissing her one last time, then pulling away. It was so hard to let her walk out that door, but he knew he had to let her go. And he'd see her tomorrow, right? It wasn't that far away, but it felt like forever.

Sam slipped out the door and down the stairs before they both changed their minds and she stayed. Jogging to his room, Jack looked out the window in time to see her unlock her van. She turned and looked up at the window, spying him watching her. He waved once, then clenched his hand into a fist, resting it on the glass.

Jack remained at the window long after the van had driven out of sight, almost as if he were uneasy about facing the empty apartment. Sam had only been there a few short hours, and already the place felt lonely without her.

He couldn't think about where she was headed. The thought she would return to Jeff, return to his bed, was killing him. Even if she and Jeff hadn't had sex in months, just the thought of Jeff holding Sam in his arms caused such a wave of jealousy to rise in him, Jack felt nauseous.

So, where did that leave them? Was it going to be like Sam said? Stolen moments until they were discovered? And then what? Jeff would fight all the harder to keep Sam, if for nothing else, just to spite him.

And what about Sam? Would she leave Jeff? If the custody her children was threatened in any way, Jack knew she'd stay with him. Maybe renting this apartment hadn't been such a good idea. He thought if he had something a little more permanent, Sam, and consequently Jeff, would see he was serious about being in her life once more. Okay, if he was completely honest with himself, it was also so he had some place he could bring Sam, where hopefully they could rediscover what they'd lost when he botched things up before.

They'd started down the path to rediscovery at a full run, both a little surprised at how quickly things got out of control. But he wouldn't take any of it back. After all this time, he'd finally admitted to Sam, and himself that he loved her. He'd been a little surprised by Sam's reciprocal admission, but elated, nonetheless.

Now he was back to square one. Where did that leave them? The only way things were going to change was if Sam was willing to divorce Jeff. Or he left town and went back to Colorado Springs and tried to forget her. He knew that wasn't an option. He could never forget her. Not now. Not ever.

*********

Sam was glad traffic had eased up for her trip back to Edina, as she was having one hell of a time driving and crying at the same time. God! How did she end up getting herself in these messes? First she had an affair with her C.O. Next she ran away from Jack instead of telling him about the baby. Then she went a married a man she didn't love so she wouldn't be alone and the baby would have a father. Now she went and slept with Jack. Had she ever made a good call in her life? She was torn. Torn between how wonderful, how *right* it felt to be with Jack and the reality she wasn't free to be with him.

Jeff was a good man. He didn't deserve this. Just because she wasn't happy didn't give her the right to mess up his life as well. If only she could take back some of her actions! But which would she take back? Making love to Jack in what she thought were her last desperate hours? But then she wouldn't have Jon, and he was everything to her. No, her biggest mistake was leaving. If she hadn't been so scared of what would happen when Jack found out, so much pain and longing could have been avoided.

What if Jack *had* offered to marry her? Would they have been happy? Or would she have been bitter at being removed from SG-1 to be a baby-sitter? She really couldn't conceive the idea of them being on the same team, especially with an infant to be cared for. General Hammond had a habit of bending the rules when it came to their team, but that situation would have been beyond even his purview. No, all things considered, leaving probably had been the only viable option at the time.

If she'd married Jack, she wouldn't have Kelsey, and Sam couldn't imagine her life without her daughter. But what if they *had* managed to work things out? Would there have been more children with Jack? He was so wonderful with Jon, he was an excellent father, even though he didn't have the job full-time.

Tears started to flow again as she thought of the family they might have had. How happy they could have been. The germ of an idea took up residence in her brain. A mere flash, but it refused to go away. Why couldn't she be with Jack now? She'd already seen about divorce proceedings prior to Jon's illness. Which would be the greater crime? Divorce Jeff or continue to live with him in the sham their marriage had become?

Sam wiped the last of her tears away as she realized she was pulling into her driveway. She'd been so consumed with her quandary, she didn't remember most of the trip home. Home. What a relative term. In the few hours she'd spent in Jack's apartment she'd felt more at home than she did in a house she'd helped plan and decorate with momentoes from her life.

Pulling into the garage, she sat for a moment, trying to calm her racing heart.

"Just act natural. He's going to try to bait you but pretend to be relaxed, as if you haven't just been having sex with another man," she added humorlessly.

Stepping into the house, she noticed the only light burning was the one over the kitchen sink. *Maybe Jeff decided to call it an early night,* she thought. Sam breathed a sigh of relief. At least the inevitable argument would wait until morning.

Sam hesitated at her bedroom door. She couldn't climb into bed with Jeff. Not after being with Jack. She couldn't betray Jack like that. Gathering up her pajamas, she made her way to the living room where she made up the couch into a make-shift bed.

After checking on Kelsey, Sam settled down on the sofa, but sleep wouldn't come. Conflicting emotions warred with images of making love to Jack, until she finally cried herself into an exhausted sleep.

She couldn't have been asleep long when she felt a hand shaking her shoulder.

"Sam, wake up."

Instantly awake, she sat bolt upright. "What is it? Is it Jon?"

"No," Jeff said, his smile irritating her more than reassuring her. "I came to get a glass of water and I found you out here. How come you didn't come to bed?"

"I. . .I didn't want to wake you. You haven't been sleeping much lately and I thought this way you might get some rest."

"And *you've* been sleeping properly?" he asked, crouching down next to the couch. "How do you expect to get any sleep on this horrible sofa?"

"It's not horrible," she answered, trying to avoid his question.

"Well, I appreciate the fact you tried to let me sleep, but as long as I'm awake, come to bed."

Sam's mind tried to search for a reason she should stay on the couch, but her brain was still foggy from her interrupted sleep.

"Sam?" Jeff asked, he must have noticed her hesitation.

"Yeah. I think I need a drink too. I'll be right in," she tried to smile at him.

"Okay. Don't be too long."

Sam gritted her teeth. She hated it when he treated her like a child. Faking a smile, she promised she'd be right in. After her drink, realizing there was no way to stall her return to the bedroom, Sam forced herself to make the short journey.

Jeff had the covers pulled back waiting for her. Swallowing the sigh that wanted to escape, Sam climbed in next to him. Immediately, he tried to draw her into his arms.

"Relax, will you, Sam. I know it's been a tough day."

*You have no idea,* she thought to herself, willing her body to lose it's ridged posture.

"O'Neill get settled?" he asked, causing Sam to tense once again.

"Ah, um, yeah. I'm sorry I'm so late, but he needed some groceries and while he was moving in, I offered to pick some stuff up for him."

"That was nice," he said. "It must have been busy at the grocery store."

"Not bad, why do you say that?"

"Well, you've been gone an awfully long time. I know it's a bit of a drive from St. Paul, but it doesn't take *that* long." He was baiting her again. Putting her on the defensive.

"I offered to make him dinner," she said, remembering she *hadn't* eaten since lunch.

"That was nice," he said again.

"Jeff," she said, pulling out of his arms, "what are you trying to say?"

"Nothing," he said, running his hands down her arms, trying to pull her close again. "It just seems like it took a long time. I missed you."

"For goodness sake, Jeff! I'm at work longer than I was gone! If you have something to say to me than just say it! I'm tired and I want to get some sleep!"

"Sammy, I didn't mean anything by it. Come here," he said, moving closer to her once more. She hated when he called her that. Surely he had to know that by now! Realizing she wasn't going to get any sleep if she didn't comply, Sam allowed him to hold her once more. It wasn't long before she felt his hand snaking up under her pajama top.

"Jeff! What do you think you're doing?"

"Well, it *has* been too long if you don't know," he tried to tease her.

Sam squeezed her eyes shut. She couldn't let him touch her. Not after Jack. . . . "I told you. I'm tired. We have to be up in a few hours. Can't we just go to sleep?"

Jeff's hand was gone as if he'd been burned. "Fine," he said tersely, turning his back on her. "You used to like it," he snapped at her. "Oh. I forgot to tell you. Your dad's coming in tomorrow."

"What?" she said, sitting up. "Did he call? Where is he?"

"He called while you were with *O'Neill*" he said. "He didn't say where he was, just that he'd see you at the hospital tomorrow. I was beginning to wonder if he cared his grandson was in the hospital."

"Jeff," Sam sighed, "you know my dad travels a lot. He's out of communication range most of the time."

"Come on, Sam! There isn't a place on this planet you can go and not be in contact *somehow!*"

Sam agreed. But then it wasn't often her father was on Earth.

"Besides, what's an old guy like him doing traipsing off into the middle of nowhere, anyway? I mean he's in good shape, but he *is* supposedly retired."

"You know he can't discuss the nature of his work," Sam said, lying down once more.

"I thought you said you were tired? We can talk about this in the morning," Jeff said, moving further away from her.

Sam rolled onto her side as well, her back to Jeff. Had it really taken her dad this long to get the message about Jon? Or had the Tok'ra been too busy to spare him? How the hell was she supposed to sleep now?

*********

Sam pumped Jeff for as much information as she could about her father's arrival as she made him breakfast the next morning. He was still grumpy about her refusal of him, but at least he answered her questions.

"Is he going to stay with us?" he asked.

"I don't know. I guess it depends on how long he has."

"You know, with as crazy as things are right now, it would be nice to have a little privacy."

Sam slammed her spatula onto the counter. "Jesus Christ, Jeff! We're talking about my *father* here! Not some vagrant I want to bring home! You said yourself he doesn't visit often enough, and now you want me to send him to a hotel?"

"I just thought with all the tension here, he might be happier someplace else!" he yelled back.

"And whose fault is that? Everything that comes out of your mouth is an accusation!"

"I'm not the one who went flitting off to help a grown man buy milk and bread!"

"Well, you of all people should realize how helpless men can be!"

Just then Kelsey walked into the room, rubbing her tired eyes. "Mommy? How come you and Daddy are fighting? I don't like it when you fight!"

Sam scooped the girl into her arms, smoothing back her sleep-mussed hair. "We weren't really fighting, Honey. Daddy and I were talking about Grandpa Jake coming to see you and Jon. I guess we just got a little loud. I'm sorry we woke you," she said, rubbing the girl's back as she lay her head on her mother's shoulder.

"I wish I could see Jon," she yawned.

"I know you do, Sweetie. I think the doctors are going to let him come home soon. Then you can see him all you want." Setting Kelsey down, Sam turned her gaze to Jeff, daring him to continue their argument and further upset their daughter.

"Hey, Peanut, you want to have some breakfast with Daddy? Mommy's making eggs."

"I don't like eggs," she stated, crossing her arms in the same defiant pose Sam often took. It was funny watching the little girl emulate her, but she was sure Jeff didn't appreciate the gesture of stubbornness.

"How about some French toast?" she offered.

"Yes, yes!" she cried, jumping up and down.

"Hey, how come I didn't get offered French toast?" he teased, playing along with his daughter.

"Would you like some?" Sam asked, trying to get into the playful mood Kelsey brought with her, but she just couldn't drop the animosity she felt toward Jeff. For Kelsey's sake, she was glad he could change moods on a dime, but she just couldn't. It just made him seem all the more insincere.

"No thanks, you've got the eggs done." Changing the subject, he said, "I think maybe I'll take today off."

"How come? I thought you were really busy this week."

"I am, but the guys can handle it. Just in case your dad isn't around for very long, I wanted the chance to see him."

Sam eyed him suspiciously. Not ten minutes before he didn't want him staying at their house. Now he wanted to be sure to see her father?

"Look, I'm sorry, Sam. Of course he's welcome here. I was. . .I was just feeling like we're never together as a family anymore and I spoke without thinking."

Damn the man was frustrating! Just when she thought he was the biggest ass in the world, he had to apologize and make her feel like all their problems were her fault. Well, she certainly had a share in them, especially lately, but she wasn't the only one putting a strain on their marriage.

"Actually, that would be nice. If you can spend some time with Jon, it'll give me a chance to talk to Dad." Sam took a breath. "You know Jack will be there, too."

"I figured. Maybe once he sees it's 'just the family' he won't feel the need to hang around today."

Sam gripped the spatula as if she were choking it. Why did he always make a point to exclude Jack when he talked about family? Jack belonged there as much as anyone did.

"Maybe if he has errands to run," Sam said lamely. "But he's probably going to want to see Dad, too."

"He knows your dad?"

"Well, yeah. Just before Dad retired, he sort of worked with Jack and I."

"Something's not adding up here, Sam. If your Dad retired while you were still working at all that top secret stuff, he must be close to eighty! And you can't tell me Jake's that old and still running around doing all that back-water traveling!"

There was no way she could tell Jeff about the Tok'ra or the fact her father wasn't alone in his body. "He retired early," she shrugged. "Jack was only 40 the first time he retired."

"The first time?"

"I told you what happened with his son," she said, nodding in Kelsey's direction, indicating she didn't want to continue this conversation in front of their very impressionable daughter.

"There's still something going on that you haven't told me about," Jeff said, carrying his plate to the sink. "But I guess I should be used to that by now, shouldn't I?" Their gazes locked until Sam turned away.

"Ready for that French toast, Sweetie?"

*********

Jack was surprised he beat Sam to the hospital, even though he now lived closer. Usually she'd be waiting in Jon's room when he arrived.

Walking past the nurse's station he jerked a thumb at Jon's door, "Sam in with Jon?"

"Not yet. I was kind of surprised myself," the night nurse said. Sam, Jack and Jeff had become such fixtures at the hospital, they were all on a first name basis with the nursing staff.

"Thanks, Karen. I'm just going to see if he's awake, okay?"

"Sure. I wouldn't be surprised if he is. That kid never seems to sleep."

"Takes after his mom," Jack smiled. He was sure there was all kinds of speculation and rumors about the relationship he had with the Greenfields, considering he was there more than as a concerned friend. No doubt they were aware he was Jon's donor, but had they figured out he was Jon's true father?

It was getting more and more difficult for Jack to step aside and let Jeff be the parent he wished he could be. Especially in light of the change in his relationship with Sam. Lord, but he had a hard time sleeping last night! All he could think of was how wonderful their encounter had been and how he was counting the minutes until he could see her again.

His elation faded as he spotted Jeff walking in with Sam, holding her hand. She looked uncomfortable, especially when she saw him paused outside Jon's door.

"I was surprised I beat you," Jack said, smiling at Sam, nodding to Jeff.

"Jeff wanted to come today, so I got kind of a late start. My father's supposed to be coming today, and Jeff wanted to make sure he saw him."

"'Dad's' coming? When did you hear from him?"

"Well, actually. . ."

"He called while Sam was out last night," Jeff interrupted, glaring at Jack. "I didn't realize you knew Jake."

"Oh, sure, we go way back," Jack said, enjoying the annoyed look on Jeff's face. "Any idea when he might show up? I'd like to see him too."

"Any minute now," they heard Jacob speaking behind them.

"Dad!" Sam cried, running to embrace him.

"How you doing, Kid?" Jacob asked, hugging his daughter back.

"Better now that I've seen you!"

"Jeff," Jacob said, extending his hand to Sam's husband.

"Jack? What are you doing here?" he asked, obviously surprised to see him.

"It's a long story," Jack smiled, giving Jacob a manly hug and a slap on the back. He was more than aware he was being friendlier with Sam's father than her own husband was. "It's good to see you again, Jacob."

"It's good to see you, too. Just a little unexpected. So, can I see my grandson?"

"Sure, why don't we all go say 'hello,' and then you can spend some time with him, okay?" Sam said.

"Maybe you just want to wait out here," Jeff said to Jack, blocking the entrance to Jon's room.

"No, that's okay. I'm sure there's enough space for all of us," Jack said, meeting Jeff's gaze, letting the man know he knew what he wasn't so subtly hinting at.

Jacob looked between the two men, then at Sam, who looked uneasy, but was trying to smooth things over with a cheerful smile.

Jon's face lit up when he saw his visitors. "Grandpa! Dad! Didn't you have to work today? Hi, Mom! Hi Jack!" Everyone burst out laughing at Jon's enthusiasm.

"I'm sorry it's taken me so long to come, Jon," Jacob said, pulling the boy into a hug. "I was on a long trip and just got back."

"Can you tell me about it? Or is it top secret, like the kind of work my mom and Jack used to do?"

Jacob looked over at Sam and Jack. "Hey, they weren't supposed to tell you that! It was top secret!"

"Oh, they didn't tell me much. In fact they *still* won't tell me what they did and it was *years* ago!"

"Well, a good soldier doesn't reveal his secrets," Jacob said, squeezing the boy's shoulder.

"Will you tell me more about when you were in the Air Force, Grandpa? I want to join when I'm old enough!"

Jeff coughed. "Well, that's a long way off, Jon. Besides, I don't know if they'll take you since you've been sick."

Jon's face fell, as if everything he'd ever wanted in life seemed to have suddenly vanished before him. "Is that true?" he asked, looking from his grandfather to his mother to Jack.

"Honey. . . ." Sam started.

"It's a little too soon to start worrying about that, don't ya think, Sport? Who knows what kind of miracle cure they'll have by the time you're ready to join up!" Jack glared at Jeff. How could he do that to his own son? Destroy his dreams like that! He had no idea if the military would accept Jon or not once he grew up. And there were plenty of civilian jobs he could do if he still wanted to be connected to the Air Force!

"Yeah, ya never know," Jon agreed, sullenly. His earlier good mood had now evaporated.

"Ya know what," Jack said, giving Jon a grin. "I think I'm going to let your Grandpa and your mom have some time with you. Your dad and I will come back later, okay?"

"Okay," he agreed. "Just don't go before I get a chance to talk to you!"

"I. . .we won't. See ya later, Sport."

Jack practically dragged Jeff from Jon's room before Jeff had a chance to protest. Shaking off Jack's hand, Jeff turned on him.

"What the hell do you mean dragging me out of *my* son's room?"

"Well, after that little bombshell you just dropped on *my* kid, I wasn't going to let you stick around to do more damage!" Jack shouted.

"What the hell are you talking about? You know yourself that he'll never be fit to join the military!"

"Yeah, but did you have to tell him that? Here? Now? Don't ya think he's got enough to worry about without you telling him he'll never realize his dream?"

"Sam's the one always telling me I shouldn't sugar-coat things for him!"

"But she didn't tell you to go out of your way to hurt him! My, God, Jeff! You see him as your son! How can you keep running his ambitions into the ground?"

"I *am* his father, remember? You were just the sperm donor."

Jack felt the sting of Jeff's words. "So that gives you the right to hurt him? What is it with you and the military, anyway? Sam's said part of the reason you're having problems is. . ."

"She's talking to you about our problems?" Jeff yelled. "You're the *last* person she should be confiding in since *you're* the major source of those problems!"

"Hey, don't go layin' this at my doorstep, Pal!" Jack said, poking him in the chest. "You and Sam where having problems long before I showed up."

"Is that what she told you? Of course she would, to cover up her guilt! If you'd stop giving her all those 'long suffering' looks she probably wouldn't keep turning to you!"

"What are you talking about?"

"Oh, don't play dumb with me, Jack! You think I don't see how you feel about her? How you stare at her as if your heart's going to break? What woman can resist that kind of undying devotion? Especially since she's never gotten over you?"

"She's never said that," Jack replied, hoping to detract Jeff from the truth.

"Did she have to? I only have to see the two of you together to know it isn't over between you. But I've got news for you Jacky-boy. You try to take her from me and you'll regret it. I'll make sure she *never* sees those kids!" Jeff's face was inches from his, and now it was him poking Jack in the chest.

"You wouldn't even try it," Jack growled.

"Try me."

"In the first place, Jon is my biological child. What court do you think is going to give you custody of him?"

"Any of them. *I* raised him. I have as much right to him as Sam. And even if by slim chance you would get custody of Jon, you'd never get Kelsey. And Sam won't allow her kids to be split up. She'll never leave me."

"What makes you think Sam won't get custody of both of them?" Jack countered.

"Having an affair isn't exactly the best way to prove you're a fit parent."

"You have no proof of that," Jack said, hoping by not out-right denying it, he wasn't confirming Jeff's suspicions.

"You're right. I don't have any evidence. At the moment. But you never know when there'll be someone with a camera. If I were you, I'd stick to some *very* public places anytime you have contact with my *wife.*" Jack noticed the door to Jon's room opening, and watched as Jeff sprang away from him as if all they'd been doing was standing in the waiting area.

Did Sam have any idea how low Jeff would stoop to hang on to her? Had he threatened her as well? Or was this little conversation for him alone? Surely Jeff knew he'd tell Sam. Perhaps that's what he was counting on. That he would do his dirty work for him. What kind of a man would put a woman he supposedly loved through that kind of hell? Shouldn't he want what was best for her? >

Jack tried to think how he'd handle things if the situation was reversed. If he was married to Sam, but she truly wished to be with Jeff, would he stoop to blackmail to hang onto her? He'd like to think he could let her go, but would he?

Sam looked between Jack and Jeff. He could tell she knew something was up by the expression on her face.

"Everything okay?" she asked, scrutinizing both men.

"Fine," Jeff said.

"Peachy," Jack replied. "I think I'm going to give you guys a little time alone, though, okay?"

"Jack?" Sam questioned.

"I'll be back in a minute," he said giving her a weak smile. He hated that he was giving into Jeff's threats so easily, but he was doing it for Sam. If it had just been about him, he would have punched the guy's lights out, and then started to *really* hurt him. He wouldn't put Sam in that position. He had to tell her, though. Whether it was Jeff's plan all along to expose the night they spent together or something else, Sam had to know what lengths Jeff would go to to keep her. Jack shook his head. Sam had the strength to leave Jonas when he became manipulative. Did she possess the same strength now?

********

Sam watched Jack walk toward the hospital entrance. Something was definitely wrong. Jeff just shrugged his shoulders as if he found Jack's actions peculiar as well, but Sam knew he was the reason Jack left. What had Jeff said to him?

Her thoughts were interrupted by the feel of someone's hand on her shoulder. Looking up, she saw the face of her father, and smiled.

"Hi, Dad. I thought you were talking to Jon."

"I was, but then Jeff came in. I thought I'd give them some time. Besides, I wanted to talk to you."

"Oh?" she asked, wondering if her father had seen her distress over Jack.

"Where'd Jack go?"

"He said he needed some air," she replied.

Jacob laughed. "Sam, it's already a hundred degrees out there! If he wants some air, he should stay in here!"

"You know what I mean," she smiled at him.

"You're worried about him, aren't you?"

Sam sighed. "Am I that obvious or are you and Selmak psychic now?"

"Speaking of Selmak, she wants to say 'hello.' Any place we can go talk that isn't quite so public?"

"Yeah, the cafeteria's usually pretty quiet at this time. Besides, I can get some coffee there."

"Still haven't kicked that habit, huh?" her father asked, following her down the hall.

"It comes with the territory. Ever meet a scientist whose blood wasn't fifty-percent caffeine?"

"No, I suppose you're right," he smiled.

After taking a roll and a huge cup of coffee, Sam headed toward the distant most table in the cafeteria.

"You sure you don't want something?" Sam offered. "I thought for sure Selmak had a sweet tooth."

Jacob's head bent forward, his eyes closing. When he opened them, they had a different look, and his voice had changed.

"Greetings, Samantha. I'm pleased to see you."

"Hello, Selmak. It's been too long since you and my father have visited."

"The Tok'ra have been on the move again. It seems every planet we settle on, some System Lord soon discovers us and we must relocate once more."

"Is that why it took so long for you to come?"

"Yes, regrettably. Communication is sub-standard at best." There was a pause before Selmak added, "And I would love something sweet. Jacob seems to think we should pay more attention to what we eat, but it's so rare we have the opportunity to visit Earth. Your planet has the best desserts!"

Sam couldn't help but smile at Selmak's admission of her weakness for sweets. "I'll get you something, but not something so bad that Dad objects, all right?"

"He says he won't fight me on it since he has to 'pacify' me to keep quiet while he's here."

Sam smiled again as she rose to purchase a pastry. If anyone deserved Selmak's stubbornness, it was her father. When she returned, Selmak told her more of the Tok'ra, and of the acquaintances Sam knew among their ranks.

Selmak was in the middle of a story when she stopped suddenly. "I'm sorry, Samantha, but I shall have to finish my tale later. Your father seems most insistent to talk to you."

Again Sam witnessed the transition from symbiot to host, waiting for her father to speak.

"Dad? What's so urgent?"

"It's not like it's life or death or anything," he said. "But you know how 'chatty' Selmak gets sometimes, and there was something I wanted to ask you about."

Sam felt her palms begin to perspire. He was going to ask about Jack, she knew it.

"What is it?"

"Why's Jack here? After all this time?"

"Well, like I explained in Jon's room, he needed a donor and. . ."

"I got that part. You know I know, don't you?" he said.

"Know what?" she asked, feigning ignorance.

"That Jack is his father."

Sam just stared at him, unsure what to say.

"Sammy, you think I didn't know the reason why you left the SGC? I can add same as anyone else. The months didn't add up for Jeff to be Jon's father. Besides the other things, like you naming him 'Jon,' short for 'Jonathan.' Or how the older he gets, the more he looks like Jack. It's pretty obvious even to a casual observer, let alone someone who knows you like I do."

Sam felt tears welling up in her eyes. "I'm sorry, Dad. I didn't mean to lie to you, I guess I just left out some bits of the truth. You must be so ashamed of me. Sleeping with my C.O."

Jacob reached across the table, covering his daughter's hand with his own. "Sam, of course I'm not ashamed of you! I admit, your judgment could have been a little better, but I could never be ashamed or disappointed in you! You're my little girl, and I love you, I always will."

Sam's restrained tears broke free at her father's words. "I love you, too, Dad. But I know I let you down and I feel *so* bad about that."

Jacob squeezed Sam's hand. "Do you love him?"

"Jack?" she asked, unsure if she should "come clean" with her father.

"Yes, Jack! Who else we talking about here?" Jacob smiled.

Sam took a deep breath. "Yeah, Dad. I do. I mean I thought I was over him, I really did. If I didn't I never would have married Jeff, but seeing him again, after all this time. . . ."

"Brought back all those old feelings, didn't it?"

"Yeah," she said, exhaling.

"He feel the same way?"

Sam toyed with her cup of coffee. "I think so. No. I know he does. It's just that we both know it's just as wrong now, as it was then." She stole a glance at her father, looking of any sign of censure. "I mean before it was regulations, and now it's marriage vows."

Jacob sat back in his chair. "It's a tough spot all right."

Sam watched her father as he sorted through the information she'd just given him.

"What about Jeff? How do you feel about him?"

Taking a sip of coffee, Sam tried to analyze how she *did* feel about her husband. "He's a wonderful father. He really loves the kids. He's never treated Jon any differently because he's not his biological son."

"I didn't ask you that. I can see he cares for them. I'm asking how *you* feel about him."

"Guilty, mostly," Sam confessed. "I mean he's the ideal husband, most of the time, and I just don't love him. He's done so much for me. How can I be so selfish to take all he gives and not return any of his affection?"

"Sammy, we can't choose who we love," Jacob said, leaning forward once more. "I don't think you set out to fall in love with Jack."

Sam gave an almost humorless laugh. "No, that certainly wasn't my intention. It's not like I woke up one day and decided today was the day I was going to ruin my career. It just . . .happened. I didn't even realize I was falling for him until it was too late."

"So, what are you going to do?"

Sam buried her face in her hands. "I don't know what to do, Dad! I know Jeff thinks all our troubles started when Jack showed up, but I haven't been happy for years. You know, even after Kelsey was born I thought I could make things work with him because I genuinely liked and respected him, but soon after that. . . ."

"What happened?" Jacob asked.

"We were at a party at his parents house. Some holiday I think because his brother and sister were there. At any rate, Jon made some comment to his cousins about me being involved in Desert Storm, and all hell broke loose. His family all looked at me like I'd suddenly grown a second head or something. I've never kept my public military record a secret, so I thought for sure *somewhere* along the line Jeff must have mentioned it to them. I mean I would have thought it would have come up at the wedding, if nothing else, when they met you and found out you were an ex-General.

"Well he laughed it off, and we left soon after that. We got into this big fight and he more or less gave me the impression he was ashamed of my having been in the Air Force. It's so much of a part of who I was, who I *am* that I don't think he could have hurt me more if he'd tried. At first I tried to ignore it, thinking he'd had a bad day or something. But when he forbid me to talk about it with his family, or his friends, that was the last straw. I even went so far as to see a lawyer about a divorce. Then Jon got sick and he was the 'concerned husband and father' again, and all this guilt came back. I just don't know what I should do now."

"Sam, life is short. Well, yours is anyway," Jacob laughed, producing a smile from Sam. "What I'm trying to say is, don't stay with Jeff out of some mis-guided sense of duty, or that you 'owe' him for marrying you when you were pregnant with another man's child. Granted, it was pretty generous of him, but you don't owe him your life because of it. You have to do what makes *you* happy. And if that's Jack. . . ."

Sam wiped away the tear that managed to slip from her eye. "He'll fight me on it, Dad. He'll use the kids to try to get me to stay."

"Then fight him back! You have just as much right to them as he does! Maybe more since Jon isn't his true son. I know you, Sam. Loyalty is one of the qualities I admire the most in you, but sometimes that loyalty can be misplaced. Don't stay with him because it's expected of you. Do what you have to do to be happy, okay?"

Sam moved her hand over her cheek, taking another drop of moisture with it, then flashed him a smile. "I never thought I'd hear you telling me to divorce my husband."

"I didn't say that. But if that's what it takes to make those blue eyes shine again, then I'm all for it."

Sam stood, crossing over to Jacob, giving him a hug. "Thanks, Dad. It means a lot to know I have your support."

"Well, Selmak had a hand in this too. Damn, but the old girl has mellowed me!"

"Bet you never counted on that when you signed on to be a Tok'ra, did you?"

"Like I was given a full briefing!" he teased her. "One minute I'm dying in a hospital bed and the next I'm swallowing a snake!" Jacob made a face.

"Dad?"

"Oh, Selmak just tweaked some nerves. Apparently she took offense to the term 'snake.'"

Sam covered her mouth with her hand to hide her smile. "I can see there's never a dull moment with you two."

Jacob rolled his eyes. "You got that right."

"I really should get back to Jon," Sam said. "The doctor's are going to re-evaluate him this morning, and I want to be there. Are you coming?"

"In a minute. There's someone else I need to see first."

Sam didn't have to ask to know he was going to seek out Jack. "He's probably at the main entrance," she told him.

"You're pretty sharp, Kid."

"And you're pretty transparent," she said, kissing him on the cheek. "See you later?"

"I'll be there as soon as I can."

"Thanks again, Dad. For everything."

********* Jack's fists were clenched, still fuming over the threat Jeff had just made toward him and Sam. Boy, if he ever got the chance he'd. . . ."

"Jack?"

He turned around to see Jacob standing in the doorway of the hospital.

"Sam said I might find you here."

"She send you?"

"No, it was my idea, but she had a pretty good notion of where I'd find you."

"Guess she still knows me pretty well after all these years," Jack grinned, trying to make light of the situation. He shaded his eyes, looking at Jacob. What kind of 'fatherly' chat had he come for? To warn him to stay away from his daughter?

"Wanna go inside? It's pretty hot out here."

"Feels like home," Jacob smiled, reminding Jack of the types of worlds the Tok'ra seemed to prefer. Sand, heat and more sand. "Should we have a seat on the bench over there?" Jacob asked, motioning toward a grassy area between parking lots. Once settled, Jacob started with small talk.

"So, how've you been, Jack? It's been what, five years since I've seen you?"

"About that. Things are okay, I guess."

"You don't sound so okay."

"Well, I suppose I thought by the third time I retired I'd have the hang of it, but I guess I still don't."

"Pretty boring when you don't have someone to share it with, isn't it?"

Jack's head shot up at Jacob's words. What was he getting at? "I suppose that's true," he said, cautiously.

"Jack, I just had a talk with Sam. I know all about Jon and how she feels about you. Not that I didn't have my suspicions about Jon before," Jacob added.

Jack was flabbergasted. How did he respond to an opening like that? And Hammond used to think *he* was to-the-point?

"I'll tell you what I told Sam. You can't choose who you fall in love with. I've never felt any differently towards you or Sam because of what happened years ago. Although, it would have been better if at least one of you hadn't been in the military at the time," he joked.

"Sir, I don't know what to say, it was just the once and. . . "

Jacob clapped Jack on the back, squeezing his shoulder. "Once is all it takes. I don't need to know the circumstances. I knew you cared about Sam before this must have happened, and I know she cared about you. I'm just sorry you couldn't have settled things."

"I am too. I'm the one who's at fault. Sam tried to talk to me but I didn't want to hear it."

"I'm not here to assign blame, Jack. Maybe this is the way things had to be. Maybe you needed this time apart to realize what you meant to each other."

"When did you become so philosophical?" Jack asked, ducking his head to hide his grin.

"Oh, about the time I became acquainted with Selmak. I'm telling you, sometimes it gets damn annoying, this 'warm fuzzy side.' Don't know that I'd make much of a General these days." Jacob joined Jack in grinning. "All that aside, I just want to ask you one thing."

Jack looked up into Jacob's face, which was now serious. "Do you love her?"

Jack didn't hesitate. "Yes, sir, I do." Even though Jack retired at the same rank as Sam's father, there was just something about Jacob that still demanded that level of respect.

"So, what happens next?" Jacob asked.

"I'm not sure. I guess the next move it up to Sam. I think she knows I want her to be with me."

"Did you tell her that?"

"Well, not exactly. I guess I just figured she knew."

Jacob was silent for a moment, his head bent as Selmak came forward. "Greetings, Jack O'Neill."

"Hi Selmak. I was wonderin' if you were going to put in an appearance."

"Jacob tried to keep me quiet, but I told him I thought I was better equipped to discuss this with you."

"Is there anything to discuss? I already told him how I feel about Sam."

"But you haven't told her," Selmak insisted.

"I told her I loved her!" Jack cried defensively, realizing he raised his voice above a conversational level.

"Have you told her what you expect from the future?"

"Well, no. I was tryin' not to put any pressure on her. I mean she's got enough going on right now."

Selmak nodded Jacob's head. "It would appear that way, but we both believe that if you told Samantha of your interest in something more permanent, it might give her the strength to take the steps necessary for the two of you to be together."

Jack raised his eyebrows and shrugged. Well, maybe she *didn't* realize he'd do anything to be with her forever.

"I'll talk to her," he promised.

"Good. Jacob seems most anxious to speak with you again, so I shall take my leave. Be well, O'Neill."

"You too, Selmak." No matter how often Jack dealt with Jacob or the other Tok'ra, he'd never get used to the duality.

"At least I caught her before she started lecturing you on the rest of your life," Jacob smiled.

"She's right. I *do* need to talk to Sam. I just don't think this is the time or place. Especially with Mr. Personality Plus in there. She say anything to you about his attitude about the military?"

"Yes, she did, as a matter of fact. I take it that's why you dragged him out of Jon's room earlier?"

"Yeah. What's up with that? He seems to go out of his way to discourage any interest Jon has in joining the Air Force. He's just a kid! He's gonna change his mind a million times before he's grown about what he wants to do. What's wrong with going along with it for now? And it's not such a bad life!"

Jacob put his hand on Jack's shoulder again. "I can't say I understand it myself, but his whole family seems to have the same attitude. I wore my uniform to Sam's wedding when I gave her away, and you should have seen the looks they were all giving me, like I was the Devil incarnate or something. Sam tried to tell me it was just his mother being upset that I didn't match the wedding party for the photos, but I knew it was more than that. I always thought they were kind of a strange bunch," he confided. "Even Selmak didn't care for them and she doesn't dislike many people."

"Is that why you're so accepting about Sam and me?" Jack asked.

Jacob sighed. "Well, I suppose that's entering into it, on some level, but if she were truly happy with Jeff I wouldn't be pushing her at you."

"If I thought she was really happy with him I might have found the strength to go back to Colorado Springs, and try to forget her. Not that I'd succeed of course."

Jacob stood. "She has a way of wrapping around your heart, doesn't she? And it's not just because she's my kid. The rest of the Tok'ra like her as well, and it has nothing to do with her having been a host to Jolinar."

Jack simply nodded, joining Jacob in walking back towards the hospital. He was going to find a way to show Sam how much she meant to him, threats or not from her husband.

On to Part 4

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