If I were to list every disclaimer that OUGHT to go here, it would spoil the whole story! So suffice to say...
No Copyright Infringements Intended!!!

It was snowing heavily as Vince MacIsaac stepped into the small store. Kicking his heels as he entered, he glanced around....only to be disappointed. "I should have known," he said dejectedly.

"That Tina would give you the wrong address?" a weathered old man replied.

"You know my wife?" Vince asked in puzzlement.

"Come, come now Mr.MacIsaac. Let's not be coy here. You were looking for the comic shop were you not? Or rather your new one? Tired of Social work are you not my friend? Clia type up the standard FI form will ya?"

"How do you know so much about me? I don't believe we've met."

"Not to worry my friend. I think what you really need is a vacation."

"But I've just moved to the sunny south. I've escaped the perils of my previous job and the wintery north....I'm closer to Cabo and Hazzard than I ever was. What more can a guy like me want?"

"What you've always dreamed of.......Would you like a Ting? I believe we have some in the brown bottles..."

Later that day in the far reaches of the unknown a plane approaches. Cal, a plump gentlemen in his three piece suit is ringing a bell madly from the watchtower. "The Plane!The Plane!The Plane!!!!" he is yelling exasperatedly. Then dropping his mallet he scrambles down to the dock to catch up with Harry, Ariel, and a mysterious man in a white suit. The biplane is approaching the docks now.

"Smiles, everyone. Smiles." The mysterious man beckons.

Cal then leaned over to Harry and whispered into his ear, "I wonder what sort of geeky fantasy assignment we're getting this time. Hopefully not another kid who wants to track down a lost Robert Johnson song with the help of Willie Brown. Or worse yet, a bunch of kids who want to find a body in the woods, complete with a vicious dog and tonnes of people throwing up."

Ariel then turned her head and flashed an angry look at the two jokers. They immediately straightened and soon the dock was full of smiling faces.

Vince MacIsaac sporting his new webslinger tie steps out of the plane and approaches the mysterious man in the white suit. "Mr.Roarke?" he asks extending his hand in a warm welcome.

"I am not he," the man replied shaking his outstretched hand, while beconing Cal and Harry to bring more Ting.

"I've arranged for strictly vegetarian cuisine to be served to you," the mysterious man continued. "And for transportation while you're on the island..." at this point the man tossed Vince two sets of keys. Vince looked puzzled as he caught them. "They're for your cars. Both the black and orange ones are at your disposal. You'll find them in the garage behind the hotel. We've also seen to it that 'Nick at Nite' is beamed directly into your suite from the mainland."

"This is paradise", Vince exclaimed just before he started bolting down the dock towards the hotel. He proceeded ten paces before halting however to ask one last question. "So if you're not Mr. Roarke,who are you?"

"My name is Jade. I hope you enjoy your stay," he replied smiling warmly. With that, Vince bolted down to the end of the dock, as the next guest got down from the plane.

A very bitter middle aged drunken man emerged next. "Mr. Edward Van Halen," Jade intoned. "Welcome to Fantasy Island."

"Mr. Roarke, I only want to know one thing..." that was all that came out from Eddie's lips as he dropped his bottle, slipped and fell face first on the dock.

"Ouch..That had to hurt...Cal...Harry..could you please help the gentleman to his feet?"

"Aye sir" they replied in sync as they lifted the figure from the dock.

Looking Jade in the eye, Eddie continued: "If you can bring Sammy back into the band..." with that he passed out in Cal and Harry's arms.

"Where are those lousy robots Bob and Vincent when you need them," Cal intoned.

"They're both in the trash heap now," replied Harry.

"What a shame. We got their jobs."

Meanwhile back on the Island, Vince had just reached the garage. He gazed in astonishment to notice it was Cooter's. He immediately entered looking for Cooter. "Cooter you there? Is my car ready yet?....Cooter?" Also to his astonishment he found nobody there. "I'll guess I'll just wait here till he arrives then. Probably gone out for a drink at the Boar's nest or something."

Vince then looked around before sitting atop an empty crate in the garage and started fumbling about with his tie. He was just doing a visual survey of the room recalling all the memories this place had for him. There were no cars here, though. Then gazing back outside he noticed the building in front of him was the Daily Planet! His heart lept into his throat at the thought of the chance of meeting Lois Lane. It was at that moment that a rumbling could be heard approaching. Large brown, vaguely humanoid wooly figures could be seen walking up the street as the motorcycle approached. It stopped in front of the pumps as the leather jacketed figure parked and dismounted.

Then leaning back against his bike he gazed at Vince spreading his arms in a thumbs up gesture and said, "AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA"

"Fonze!" That simple exclamation was all that could escape Vince's lips.

"That's my name, don't wear it out! You must be Vince...." at this moment the Fonze looked away, cracked out his comb and started fixing his hair as he continued... "You expecting somebody else?"

"NOOOOOOOOOOOO! I wasn't expecting anybody.....Just my cars."

"Well you've come to wrong place pal. They're in the Cave on the other side of town. Just walk down that street, pass Copps Colisium, and the blasphemous donut shop run by Dick Grayson and you should be there."

"Thanks, Fonze."

"No problem. Now if you don't mind I've got a date. Some weird chick who works at a pizza parlor near Dicks donut shop. Smell ya later."

"Now wait one minute..." Vince intoned.

"She got fired from her job at the music store. Her ex laid an egg or something. Their psychiatrist said he's suffered from a Peter Pan complex or something. He lays awake at night pretending to be some war time disc jockey who thinks he's funny. Would you want such a person teaching English to your son? Now would you mind?"

With that the Fonze got back on his bike and left in a cloud of dust. Vince watched in awe for a few minutes at the vapour trail before continuing down the street. He had just passed the blasphemous donut store when he ran into Jade.

Jade greeted him. "Mr. MacIsaac. I forgot to give you something."

"What's that, Jade?"

"This." Jade said as a blackbriefcase appeared with handcuffs attached.

"What's that for?"

"You're on a Mission from God."

"Really? I thought I was to have adventures with that Dar dude with his pet ferrets, hawk and big cat. My brother came here last week and said he gained some valuble work experience. Said he hacked into some computers with Kevin Flynn and rode some lightcycles. Now he can't decide which company he'd like to take down more...Microsoft or Time Warner."

Meanwhile back at the hotel, Eddie was having strange dreams indeed. His sheets were soaked with sweat and he was tossing and turning wildly. "I need a drink" he said. With that he stumbled out of bed and headed down the hallway to the bar. However he soon discovered he couldn't find the bar. The whole hotel had seemed to become a giant labyrinth, and he soon lost his way.

He called out for Cal, Harry, anyone who could possibly give him directions. It was all to no avail, however. Ed was hopelessly lost. All his eyes could see were locked doors he couldn't open, golden chandeliers, miles of red carpet, and Indian paintings.

The faces from the paintings seem to glare at him with their beady eyes and follow his every move, while their faces seemed to smirk in mockery of him. Outside the window he could see all those animal shaped bushes outside come alive and start terrorizing sunbathers. He could also see a little boy being viciously attacked by a possessed firehose.

In what seemed like hours Ed finally came across an elevator. "Finally a way out of here," he said as he raced towards it. About ten paces before he reached it, the doors swung open and people started pouring out of it. Ed made his way through them and into the now empty compartment, and frantically pushed the button for the main lobby.

The door wouldn't close. He pushed another button, and another, and another. It was futile. Ed finally slumped down in the empty compartment and just stared in wild eyed wonder through the door. Then it happened. Two men were approaching, but Ed was too exhausted to get up or call out. As they drew nearer he could see they each had something in their hands but couldn't make out what just yet. They stopped ten paces from the door. From that distance he could see that it was David Lee Roth and Gary Cherone.

"Come play with us" they said. "Forever..and ever...and ever...and ever..."

They dropped the mikes in their hands and Ed screamed. Screamed in utter unspeakable, blood curdling terror. He had to cover his eyes from the sight it was so horrible. In what seemed like millenia Ed finally lifted his hands from his eyes. Dave and Gary were gone. A robed figure remained. "Who are you?" Ed was forced to ask.

"My name Roland and as you may have noticed the world is falling apart, could you please tell me how to reach the tower?"

The response drew a blank from Ed.

"Okay, okay, then. My real name is Q, and I'm at nobody's service."

Meanwhile elsewhere on the Island Vince was still talking to Jade. "Mission from God? What Mission?"

"There is a home on the far side of this island. It is a shelter for abused women." Jade said.

"So what is the problem?"

"It's the managemnt. It's corrupt from the bottom up. Terrible misuse of funding and power is occuring and the residents are suffering. They are not getting the care they deserve. They're not even being treated like human beings, because a lot of said management aren't themselves."

"Huh?" Was all Vince could say.

"Open that briefcase would you" Jade replied.

Vince did to see it contained piles of notes and some sort of machinery. The machinery had a spindly arm, and all sorts of dials and various screens. It pulsated when the case was opened.The case also contained a gold star shaped object.

"Do you know what this device is Mr.MacIsaac?"

"It's a voight kampff machine," was his reply.

"Good then. If you know that much I trust you're familiar with it's use and operation."

"Are you implying replicants have taken over this joint?"

"And the residents are suffering. Your mission is to set things right or else in 48 hours the place will be closed down. Those victems of domestic violence will have no where else to go. A terrible tragedy in itself do you not think?"

"Has it always been this bad at the residence?"

"No. It wasn't always thus. It was only about a year ago that the replicants infiltrated the place, through their lax hiring policy. We believe the reps take their orders from some leader. Who or where this leader is, is also unknown. You must identify, find, and confront he or she as well. What was once a safe haven has now become a place of fear and intimidation. You must set things right."

"Is this all I'll need then?"

"Yes"

"Than whats this star shaped object? Some weird boomerang or something?" Vince grabbed the thing as if he was going to hurl it.

Jade grabbed his arm to stop him. He cautioned: "Do not use it until you are ready."

"How will I know that?"

"You'll know." He then continued, "You'll face many obstacles in getting to the place. Meet several people. Most will probably be enemies who'll try to hinder if not halt your progress. But some you'll probably be able to join forces with. Just what the aforementioned obstacles are and when you'll face them you'll have to find out for yourself. The General Lee will probably help you get through a lot of them but there is one place even the General won't go."

"And what is that?"

"A large expanse of desert."

"Well I'm sure the General could handle a little off road driving,what could possibly be the problem?"

"Worms."

"Fish bait will get in the way of the General? I'm sorry, pal, but you haven't seen this thing fly. I've seen it jump ravines, trains, even a house once!"

"These are big worms."

"How big?"

"We captured a small speicmen once. It was only 125 metres long."

Back at the hotel Ed was still talking to Q. "Don't tell me. You've been watching me, and now you've come to judge/test me."

"Watch you? Don't flatter yourself little man. There's far greater talent in the cosmos than you, by a landslide. Test? Judge? Where do you get your information about me anyways? Let me guess....You're a trekker. Well I've got news for you. They need to hire some new writers. They got me all wrong. I'm actually here to help you."

"Help me? But how?"

"For starters, I'm going to get you out of this awful place. Don't you think that'd be as good of one as any to start?"

"Yes, please do."

Q then snapped his fingers and the next thing he knew Ed found himself in a gladiators outfit...Right smack dab in the middle of the Collisieum in ancient Rome. All around him the stands were jam packed with members of the Sammy Hagar and David Lee Roth fanclubs and mailing lists. They were all screaming for his blood giving Ed the big thumbs down. Next thing he knew the gates opened and a pride of vicious Lions burst forth and charged at him.

"Q!!!" screamed Ed as he dropped his sword and ran as fast as he could. He made it one third of the way to the exit before finding himself at an amusement park in the present day.

Q then descended from the sky in front of him landing atop a Pokey pedestal. A giant peach and some large insects loomed in the foreground next to a chocalate factory. "I'm terribly sorry, please except my apologies. I really meant you no harm. I just thought you'd be interested in a little fun and games....however I had forgoten how that concept has changed slightly over the last few millenia. Now your uncivilized and barbaric race gets pretty much the same entertainment on a daily baisis watching the television, going to movies, and playing video games. But I'm not here to lecture you about that. I'm saving that spiel for Jean Luc Picard....would you like a lollipop? I'm buying. It even has Gumby's face on it."

Eds face went into another state of shock with those last few comments. "You know what Q? You need some proffessional help. Gumby sucks and I'm out of here, you creep!" With that Ed began to bolt towards an imagined beer tent on the west side. However he was stopped dead in his tracks by the power of Q.

"Not so fast, Mr. Edward Van Halen. You have much to learn, and classes have just begun!" Q now once again descended in front of him. "Do you have a heart Ed?" he now asked.

"What kind of stupid question is that! Of course I do!" Ed bellowed, his anger increasing.

"Well if you didn't, I could always arrange for you to get one. There's a tin man back at the Colliseum you just left...."

"No frigging way am I going back there! Not with those lions willing to rip me apart!"

"Some courage than perhaps?"

"Absolutely not! I can see where this conversation is going. I'm not stupid. I don't need a brain either, so you can spare me the visit to the scarecrow as well."

"Are you sure?"

"Of course, I'm sure."

"Okay than. If you're not stupid, Why did you fire Sam? And why, may I ask, can't you think up a new excuse?"

"ARRRRRRRGHHHHHH!!! I hate you already!"

Then a real sad look appeared on Q's face. "I'm sorry Ed...It was a joke. I didn't mean for you to take it so personally. I was just testing to see if you had a sense of humour. Hey if a man can't laugh at himself, he'll be a very bitter man indeed. And you, Ed, look so very bitter...That was the reason for the fun and games. It's all part of the recovery process. As for Gumby theres a saying about him as well. If you have a heart than Gumby's a part of you, it goes. So now Ed I ask you, Do you have a heart?"

"Well...."he hesitated a little.."I guess I do..."

"Great then. You're cooking with gas now. Did you bring your guitar with you?...wait a minute.." Q snapped his fingers and one of Eds countless thousands of guitars appeared. "I think it looks kind of bland don't you Ed?"

"I guess..."

"Okay then let's do something about it." Q snapped his fingers again and an assortment of Gumby, pokey, and blockhead decals appeared on the thing.

"Don't you ever forget this, Ed. I know a tree who would be very happy."

"A tree?"

"It once gave its apples, branches, shade, and trunk to a little boy..."

Meanwhile Vince arrived at the cave to be greeted by a butler. "Vince you can't enter through there" he was saying. "You have to go through the Manor. I'm terribly sorry but Master Bruce has taken the other car for the night.The General is yours, though."

"Alfred!" Vince was shaking with excitement now. "I'm pleased to finally meet you. How's Gotham doing these days?"

"A lot better since Master Bruce ran Adam West out of town."

Vince burst out laughing.

"He scuffed his vehicle. Master Bruce doesn't stand much for scuff marks.... By the way have you met Lois Lane? Master Bruce thought you might need a partner."

With that she appeared as a vision unto Vince. She only said two words to him: "Marital problems."

"Marital problems?" Vince asked as he got behind the wheel of the General. Lois slid in through the window of the other door to ride shot gun.

"Yeah. Clarke wouldn't let me have control of the T.V. remote. I missed an entire Godzilla marathon on T.V. last week....Marital problems."

"An ENTIRE zilla marathon? I sympathize. I'm a married man, myself."

"You married too? Ahh shucks...I actually thought you were kinda cute really. And honest. I find that very sexy in a man...Of course I'd never do anything to jeopardize my relationship with Clarke, but it things were different for us both..."

Vince was beginning to feel like Homer in countless episodes of the Simpsons...A little over his head, but he knew Tina would never forgive him. So like Homer he decided to do the right thing even if he really didn't want to. So he piped in: "Except perhaps being seen around the infamous playboy Bruce Wayne. Like you have marital problems and you run to him!"

"What?! You think I did anything with him? Puuuuuleeeeezze. If his place was any smaller it wouldn't be able to house his ego. No, I wasn't interested in him. Just a certain prehistoric speciman he's rumoured to have hidden around here, along with a large penny.You know anything about it?"

"Sorry, can't help you there." With that Vince floored it and the General lurched into life speeding down the hiway. "YEEEEEEEEE-HAAAAAAAAAA!"Vince yelled at the top of his lungs.

About a mile down the road they started to approach two hitch hikers. Normally under these circumstances Vince would have never stopped. He was after all a man on a mission, but something familiar about them made Vince slam on the breaks. "COY! VANCE! HOP IN BUDS! I NEED ALL THE HELP I CAN GET!" Vince yelled out the window.

"YEEEEEEEE-HAAAAAAAAA!" was they're reply as they jumped in the back. Then Vince slammed on the accelerator again as he tooted the Dixie horn loud and clear over the hills. Things were now afoot.

Further down the road they came across two other hitch hikers, but being just Bo and Luke he made the excuse to Lois there was no more room and left them behind in a cloud of dust. At that moment a large tree branch fell throwing out locals Keith and Shania. Their passionate kissing session had come to an end.

"So Vince," asked Coy "Where are we off to today?"

"We're on a Mission From God!" was the reply.

"YEEEEEE-HAAAAAA!"everyone aboard exclaimed to that response. No sooner had they done so when the familiar lights of Sheriff Rosco P. Coltrane started flashing behind them.

Meanwhile, elsewhere on the Island a balloon was gently lifting into the air taking it's occupants on an ever new and thrilling Oddyssey.

Jade, Cal, Harry, and Ariel were walking back to the Hotel.

"Hey Jade is Roarke ever coming back?" asked Cal.

"He'll be back. I'm just on temporary assignment," Jade replied.

Groans emerged from Cal and Harry.

"So where is he?" Cal asked.

"The Mainland." Jade replied.

"He can do that?" Harry now asked. "I thought he couldn't leave the island."

"He can leave anytime."

"So why's he gone back to mainland? Surely not to see his daughter. She can visit him anytime on the island. Why would he take such a risk?"

"It's Tattoo....he's in trouble," was Jades simple and solemn reply to that last question.

It was a dreary Christmas eve in New York. The temperature was 20 below, and all around there was still evidences of the wrath of Godzilla. It was into this desolate world that Mr. Roarke found himself. He had to act quickly though.Time was of essence as the sands of his own life were flowing now. He had already searched more than a dozen pool halls and bars Tattoo was said to frequent.

He finally found him in a back alley amidst a trash heap, swigging away at a cheap bottle of Rye. Tattoo looked in rough shape. His clothes were torn, and his face grimey. He smelled bad.

"Tattoo! There you are old friend!" Mr. Roarke called out.

A very angry and disenchanted Tattoo replied, "Go away Mr. Roarke. I'm through with you. My life sucks. I just want to be left alone now to die, do you mind?"

"I'm terribly sorry, Tattoo, but as you know my range of influence is restricted to the Island. It was a big risk for you to leave. I'm just sorry it didn't pay off."

"Yeah, yeah, well you can bugger off now. Where were you when I needed you? I thought you cared."

"But I do care. I'm here now...."

By this point Tattoo had reached his boiling point and now hurled his empty bottle at Roarke. "Get lost Roarke! Do you think I'll ever work in this town again?"

Roarke dodged the projectile, and it disinigrated behind him against a brick wall. "Look Tattoo, I know it must be a terrible disappointment for you to have only been a part of the pre-fame Hanson Brothers, but it wasn't me who blew the whistle on you not being a kid. At least it was a step up from your previous gig of pimping the pre-fame Spice girls. You at least boosted your morality there if not your income. And yes I know neither of these gigs were what you wanted. You were tired of ringing bells and being remembered for nothing more than you're exclammations of 'DA PLANE! DA PLANE!' You wanted to be a respected actor like Al Pacino or Robert DeNiro I know. But the scripts wern't coming in and the projects you did get were bombing left right and centre. You felt you were going un noticed, unappreciated I know. But if it is any small consololation, I noticed. You were superb in Time Bandits. It played to packed movie houses back on the Island, and during it's recent re-release there did better business than Titanic. The question on everyones lips undoubtedly was 'Little Man, what now?'"

"Yeah Roarke, but that wasn't me!I could'nt even get that part. Forbidden Zone ruined my career!"

"And it wasn't just the Islanders who noticed. You may have thought the bell gig was the pits but did you know that after you left, it became our third highest Fantasy request to be you? Of course most folks wouldn't dare admit to that, but it was true. And why is that you ask? Because you wer'nt the bell....you were the bell ringer! And if the truth were really told, because of it you remain among woman a bigger sex symbol than Leo DiCaprio. Not a bad achievement for such a small man now is it?"

As Roarke was telling Tattoo all this, the short man couldn't help but wipe a tear from his eye. Tattoo pouted as he continued: "Yeah, but that's not what I wanted. The love of one good woman is more than enough for me. I just wanted to be able to pursue my dream. It's not like I needed the money or anything. I made a fortune working for you, till feeling hopeless I blew it all on gambling and wild nights of booze and sex."

"So if you had all this money why did you stoop to pimping the Spice Girls?" Roarke asked.

"Call it method acting, and a need to shake my goody two shoes image. Remember I said I wanted to be a respected actor like Al Pacino or Robert DeNiro? Well Rob don't do Shakespeare, and Al Pinochio.... Stuff like that is beneath them. They go for the really juicy parts and I wanted to do the same. It just didn't turn out how I expected it to."

"'It didn't turn out how I expected it to'....a familiar story indeed.....Differences between fantasy and reality, and yet how that should not deter one to dream. Jade could probably relate."

"Who's Jade?"

"Someone I left in charge of the Island while I came looking for you. He could amuse you for hours with his various personal ancedotes on the subject. Like how he wanted to be a disc jockey becuause he thought it would be like WKRP in Cincinatti. And in doing so he also wanted to be like the Wolfman from the children's show, "The Hilarious House of Frankenstein."

"The Hilarious House of what?"

"It was a show, Tattoo. One I actually quite admired myself. Wolfman was a hippie dj who would spin these groovy pschedelic records and howl a lot, while Egor danced to them in front of an equally pschedelic backdrop. It was a laugh riot to see, and the guaranteed highlight of the show which was brilliant all around. Being a childhood dream of Jade's, he pursued it. Years later he was a dj in a school radio station, but by then he had become somewhat disenchanted with the whole wolfman bit. Remnants of his original vision did shine through, though for the most part the radio gig was a hellish experience. By the time it was over he was very tired and probably did want out. He doesn't have regrets, as it taught him that perhaps that was not such a grand thing after all."

"And the moral of the story, Roarke?" Tattoo was now asking.

"Little man, what now?" was the simple reply.

"But he wasn't permanently mesed up psychologically because of that."

"No Tattoo, he wasn't. Another show did that to him. A kindergarden show featuring a very large Bee. They never mentioned his name as one being seen in the mirror at the end and to this day he is crushed. His new secret ambition is to make a big screen version for the sole purpose of fixing that little blunder."

Jade was alerted by a black bird of a disturbance at New World Records, which was now enjoying a brief residency as well. He had cleared the idea with Scotty and Roarke because Cal, Ariel, and Harry expressed a desire for some kick ass vibes on the Island. Like, for how long could one endure the Lawrence Welk Show? Jade had to admit it was a wonderful suggestion so long as Sting didn't start now making rap albums and sign with them. The biggest surprise to come out of the thing had to be Scotty's immediate approval. He was very jealous of his trade monopoly on the Island, but instantly agreed when he heard that by doing so he'd now be able to obtain Monkey Trial bootlegs for his collection.

CAW! CAW! CAW! The bird was going as Jade followed. He actually quite preffered it when the bird appeared before something happened, which was what he was now training it to do. That way he could spare Cal and Harry the messy cleanups, not to mention be able to suggest a humane solution to the problem, so that terrible sadness could be avoided.

Jade entered the building to find the place in shambles. In the midst of all this choas were the store's two owners, Terry and Gord, duking it out over a Kiss toy.

"I want ACE!" yelled Terry

"You can have PETE!" yelled Gord as he cracked Terry over the head with the ONO BOX.

Terry immediately dropped like a log, before coming back with a swap to the head with Milli Vanilli posters.

Gord struck back with New Kids Videos, and Terry countered with Poison albums. It was a sad scene.

"Gentlemen!" Jade now called out.

The fighting stopped.

"Theres no need to fight over ACE. In fact both of you can each have a complete set of Kiss dolls if you like...Now clean this place up and make peace with each other. I'll have Cal send down the Kiss dolls immediately."

"NO WAY!" Terry and Gord yelled in unison, as they each gave the other a big high five.

Jade was making his way to the door. He paused before leaving to turn back and make a few last comments to the two: "Oh yes. I almost forgot....Terry: Pink Floyd and XTC are going to be touring together in the near future. I took the liberty of signing you up as a roadie. Hope you don't mind. On a sidenote you have received approval from Scotty to expand into a megastore. I guess that means he digs the place. Be honoured. The man is sparse in his praise. As for you Gord: Monkey Trial's new album is in the top position on the album charts. Critics and fans alike are saying you guys are the best band to ever come out of Canada. Geddy, Neil, and Alex seem to agree, as well. Robert Plant called you guys the 'Led Zeppelin of the 90's', taking back a similar comment he made about the Tragically Hip. Also, Tom Petty wants an opening slot on your world tour. Just thought I'd let you guys know."

With that Jade left.

Stunned silence followed.

After several moments Gord finally piped up "I thought we were big only in Texas....Mrs Silverstone is going to kill us!"

Terry than said, "Well my band's album is almost finished as well. It's called 'down in a hole'. I think we'll call ourselves Ducks Unlimited. Perhaps Jade could help me get a record contract."

Eddie admired his new axe. The Gumby designs seemed to glow in the sunlight, glistening with a life of their own. "This is really great Q. But is that all there is to it?"

"No, my friend," was the forthcoming reply, "you still have much to learn. Your recovery is not yet complete." Then snapping his fingers again, the two once more disappeared. They re-emerged this time at a Cure concert.

"Ooops," said Q, "I really am sorry. It must have been a Freudian slip on my part....oh well since we're here now, why not stay awhile?"

"Look at all these freaks", was all Ed could say.

"Careful Ed. You're talking about some of my friends there. You see I was supposed to go to the concert with them, but I got this assignment instead...like I said before let's stay awhile. It's not like they're going to feed you to the lions."

"Okay," said Ed, "In that case I suppose we can stick around for a few numbers."

"That's the spirit Ed! At the rate you're going, you really could build Rome in a day.....er....not that you'd want to visit again anytime soon....It's just too bad Cal wasn't here."

"Cal?" asked Ed.

"Yes Cal. You see I seem to know a few things about him that even Mr. Roarke doesn't suspect. Like his fondness for the Cure for example......Ever since his arrival on the island, he's been getting the plane to smuggle him their records from the mainland. He really is quite good at that smuggling routine by now...He just hasn't thought up a way to get off the island as of yet. I've watched him dance to their records in the tower late at night. It really is an amusing sight, trust me...somebody needs to teach that man a dance step...and you know what? That's when he's sober. I'd hate to see him after a few drinks..."

Ed at this point burst out laughing. He'd have never suspected either.

"Oh Well then," said Q "If you're going to just laugh it up, it's best we move on." He then snapped his fingers again. They emerged this time in Chicago, right smack dab in the middle of the House of Blues! "You have arrived," said Q. "There's quite a roster of talent on the card tonight. I hope you enjoy the show. I however am going to go to the lobby for some candy bars. Would you like anything yourself?"

"Yeah,get me a beer."

Q made a loud buzzer sound. "Sorry can't do that. Didn't you learn anything from the hotel? There was a reason you couldn't find the bar. It was really for your own good."

"I see....okay than. In that case I'd just like some cracker jacks."

"No problemo. I'll be back in a sec."

"What?! You're actually going to unloose that leash you have around me, and just leave me here?!" Ed said surprised.

"Come, come, now Ed. I ain't no baby sitter. You can leave if you like at any point.The choice is yours. Remember this is YOUR fantasy."

"Right then....I had forgotten. Please accept my apologies."

"Accepted." With that Q started towards the lobby. However he froze and turned to make one last comment to Ed. "Let me know if you see anyone you like."

"Huh", said Ed.

"We're getting a band together. Maybe not THE band but a band nevertheless."

"Oh," said Ed.

With that he was down the aisle in a microsecond. Ed decided to sit back and relax, and enjoy the show. The lights soon went down. What followed was an entertainment Ed would never forget. A who's who of blues artists appeared and performed one after the other. The entire audience was mesmerized, nobody said a word.

Then along came other types of artists...Ed stared in awe as he recalled the missing elements his music had been lacking as of late. Then it happened. Like a lightning bolt he appeared, blowing the roof off of the House of Blues. Raw energy and charisma dripping from his every move he launched into the first number. It went like this:

At that moment in the distance a gunslinger named Roland could be heard to exclaim, "I've found the tower! Now I can put an end to all this madness!"

Don't get chocolate fingerprints on the forms...