An Unexpected Meeting
Fonts to download!
I had spent a quarter of a century in Paris after leaving the coven. Their fateful actions had toughened my exterior, but inside lie a frightened child that needed protection. I had groomed my skills while away, and I trusted no one. Being in exile had allowed me time to find myself. I felt good again, together. I needed to go home & regroup, get focused. I hid in the Paris underground cattacombs. I had gotten comfortable in my skin again. I felt sexy & dangerous, invigorated, alive. I exercised my talents abundantly during my absence from the states. I dreaded the thoughts of returning to the unappreciative culture of America, or mortals for that matter. I knew I had a world to offer a chosen few, but didn't know if there was anyone left deemed worthy of my gift.
Hidden in a small suburbian town back in the states, I slipped into a near-mortal life, complete with a very dear mortal friend. This was my first attempt at mortal friendship. Tressa knew she was friends with a predator, but did not honestly worry. She had built a trust that she knew I valued highly. So the relationship was off to a good start. I sat gazing at the full moon beginning to cut across the midnight sky, while sipping a glass of blood-wyne. I longed for good company again. Lengthy, in depth conversations that kept your curiosity peaked. ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
I didn't know if there was a vampire code of ethics to follow, so the fact that I slipped into depression went unnoticed. Even though I dealt with death on a nightly basis it was still disturbing to me to deal with on a personal level. So I began to drink heavily every night to try to drown the problems from which I was suffering. Many nights were spent drinking myself into a fog of painless guilt and sloppy feeds. I was like a junkie out of control. Just burying my pain with chemicals. It was poisoning my brain & how I was thinking for myself. I wrote in my journals every night expressing my pain & anger for everything that had gone wrong with myself & the coven. And how this would ultimately affect my personal life & alter it greatly somehow. I had given up on any form of relationships or companionship, whatsoever. It never worked. I was far too different from anyone. My failed attempts ended in a mortal man's near death. I could not stand their their ignorance, lack of respect, or anything else their pathetic souls had to offer. Each one felt as though they were the missing jewel in my crown. I begged to differ, allowing them to escape with their lives, knowing their blood would only leave a foul taste on my breath. It was not worth my time nor effort. Many months had passed & I had grown reclusive due to loneliness. The pain I carried weighed heavy on my poor beatless heart. I often longed for a fascinating change & found myself fantasizing like an adolescent in love. The total suburbian dream... a perfect mortal man...a house..& maybe a dog. I laughed to myself. In the meantime, I threw myself into my domain. I painted & restored my old house into a beautiful escape. Once my atmosphere was complete, I indulged in my writing once again. It was something I always needed to do as though it were a form of therapy for me. Journals & diaries are an abundance with me. What fabulously interesting tales my books hold. I spent many hours writing & logging events that had come to pass. I couldn't wait to share them with the world. I could do so & remain anonymous. It was perfect! One thing I could say about her was her keen sense of the future. She could nail it everytime. She always knew & I don't know how she did it, but she did it very well. The only mortal I have met with such a strong sense. Unusual to say the least. One evening during the following fall, Tressa had emailed me about this guy again. She had recently met her husband's business associate, and was determined to introduce us. Again, I was reluctant. Her efforts felt like two hands gripping my throat, slowly shutting off my oxygen supply. I couldn't understand why my body went into shock over this. *L* I had somehow gotten to the point where I didn't even welcome the thoughts of meeting anyone new at all. For two years Tressa watched me slip further & further into depression, slowly shutting myself off from the world. As I thought heavily about it, I found great irony in my plight, reflecting much like Brian's. Something had to change. No one realized how your life as a vampire is much like a vacuum. And it lasts indefinitely. ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ One early summer day, Tressa talked me into at least meeting the man. We met, having a discreet lunch one late afternoon. It was pleasant but I felt somewhat awkward in his presence. I could not quite figure out from where it was coming. I just had a sense of something, perhaps I was out of my league, to be more discript. But I was intrigued. He was quite attractive, his intelligence excited me, as it was a profound quality I liked in a man. Since I had receded from the social sidelines, I felt completely disoriented. I didn't know how to act. Throughout lunch, I discovered there were many things about me he could not know. He had expressed judgement on several issues, leading me to believe he would not understand parts of me. So I had to leave out these things, or master hiding sections of myself while in his company. I did not trust him, hell I didn't trust anyone. I wished I could. But a vampire cannot safely trust anyone. I could tell right away that he liked his lady to be a certain way. I suppose those were standards I felt he were projecting towards me. It seemed he had an ideal persona of the woman on his arm. I must admit at one instant, I found myself fantasizing what it would be like in his world. But it didn't last long. I had to realize I was extremely different & this had no real guarantee of working out at all. I could see this one in the crystal ball, big time. We were way too different.
Years of loneliness in Paris, had grown stale to me. I longed for something different. Decades of experimenting with every facet life had to offer a vampire had given way to boredom, which in turn led to total distaste for my life. I had grown tired of effects people had on one another. The fact that some mortals found utter delight in manipulating poor weak souls made me sick. They were the worst kind of human to me. I had to extinguish life in order to maintain the level I desired in my own life. What they did was for sheer pleasure in seeing what turmoil they could cause another. That was pathetic. Some were so giving & generous, they never knew the jeopardy they put themselves & their feelings into. I hated ones who toyed with others. I often did it myself, but I was a vampire. Mortals seem to take advantage of everything they are given in life, and take it for granted as well. They have no idea what it is to truly love, and have it last for an eternity, whether you are with your soulmate or not. True love superceeds death. They haven't a clue. *shakes her head shamefully*
Death, depression, a little house in the country, my life was beginning to look all too real. But I had grown comfortable in most of it. I had grown accustomed to the evening sun & seen a few sunrises without turning to dust. Ages with the coven, living a fast-paced, wild life seemed long since gone. No one around me would have guessed I was a vampire. It hadn't been too long when Tressa started hammering away at me to start dating. I loathed the idea completely. But her honest naivity was weakening me. She had such an electric way about her. Such a positive energy flowed from her constantly. Her extreme taste & style all her own, balanced with mine. I felt fortunate to have her as a friend. So with that in mind, I had to roll with it when she desperately tried to fix me up on a blind date. ~grimace~ I told her repeatedly how I was not inclined to fall in love, quoting, her efforts are only in vain.Our lunches turned into dinners, as our curiosity got the best of us. We were enjoying each others' company, and making it a habit to spend more & more time together. I couldn't figure out why we were still together. I knew the first date we were opposites, but still he beckoned for my company, which surprised me each time! For hours we would dissect one another's brains, intrigued by what we'd find. His wealth played no part in the relationship, for I wanted for nothing. It did however allow us to explore & enjoy each other providing endless opportunities. Having all the riches in the world but the one money could not buy, made me comfortable but lonely. I longed for love and affection, the one true thing I doubted it existed. Before my transfer into the darkness, I was happy. But it was taken from me so violently. Losing my husband, my baby...it had been so long since I had thought of them. I recalled how happy I was, knowing it existed once, maybe it could again. But I was too frightened at the present time to trust him, especially becoming vunerable around him. That was an even worse thought. I could possibly let down my guard, tell him everything. I did not know if I could trust him with my dark secret. I was not ready yet. I had to keep some distance. I had a habit of overextending myself and getting lost somehow. I would wake one night & not know who the hell I was anymore. I couldn't believe how much I had changed. I hated it to be honest. I liked it more when I was vicious, vendictive, and self-serving. I never got hurt that way. I had others around me constantly in those days. The worse I seemed to treat those around me, the more abundant their presence grew.
Search through the darkness of my domain!
© 1997 MidniteDiaries@Hotmail.com
|The Decomposition of Davidson|
|My Banners| Menu | Art | Vampires | Cellar |
| About Ravinn... | Poetry |Vamp Stories|
| Music | Awards | The Beginning of the Midnite Diaries |
|Links| Ghost Tales |
|Banner Exchange|
hosted by Geocities.Yahoo.com Get your own Free Home Page