Finally physically free, I stepped out the back door last
night and looked out into the sable of the midnight sky. A
thought came to the brain. ------- We are standing on the shore
of eternity ------- And then another ------- So fuckin what! Who
the hell am I? Why am I? Where do I belong? ------- I then laid
myself down into the tall, cool grass, almost colorless by
moonlight, and cried myself into a sleep as solid as the darkness
above me.
I dreamt.
A cherub I observed in a flawless flutter, weaving his way
through my field of view, softly singing some sort of spirited
hym. He was quite drunk and yet still drinking from a flask of
gold. His movements, even though drunk, were as fluid as a snake
in the grass. His vocals, even though somewhat slurred, were as
sweet as natures wild honey. I could taste it... The song...
deep in soul like manna.
There was envy.
I myself wanted so reverently to fly and sing and drink with
him, this patron child of Heaven, but I was certain that any
attempt would appear contempt and that of a rotten mocking child
instead of an expression of his inspiration on my soul. Never in
my life have I ever felt so limited, so inferior, so... so mortal.
A little piece of Heaven in rebellion, I thought happily to myself.
There was admiration.
He then caught sense of my presence I suppose, for he
whipped around to meet my stare. A shadow of guilt fell upon his
face and then he was gone. He dissappeared through the thick
veil of a willow nearby.
I had been so taken back and perplexed by his sudden
appearance that I was a little out of sorts. Enchanted. Only
when he had already gone did I realize the privilege bestowed,
and like a human, I wanted more. I wasn't satisfied. I had to
know his name. I had to know the title such a soul would
entertain.
Clumsily I ran after him in pursuit.
Quick on his trail, I split the veil as well. Once inside,
the willow alive, the cherub was there, waiting, relief in his
eyes, all innocent smiles. I approached his flawless fluttering
form there in the cool, pleasant canopy of the willow,
respectfully.
"Sorry," I said peaceably. "I didn't mean to frighten you."
He smiled in his naked radiance.
I smiled in return.
He then moved in close, just a few feet from my face. His
breath smelt not like the milk of innocence, but the wine of
deviance.
"Damn," he sighed. "Man I thought you were God."