Agent Mouldy Fox (Basso Pericoloso - Kell)

Agent Danger Scuzzi (Soprano Frustrato - Kell)

Nino Lopez (Basso Schizophrenico - PhilM)

Prof George Arbuthnot (Basso Mustachio - Gray)

Basil Rathbone (Basso Psychotropico - Rich)

Father Seamus o’Patrick (Basso Religioso - PJ)

Dr Nathan McNamara (Basso Machismo - Dave G)

Sebastian ‘Danger’ Travers (Basso Absurdo - PhilM )

Directed and Conducted by Phil Karajan-Jones

Part One : In which Basil wakes up, Father o’Patrick receives an unusual visitor, and Sebastian goes for a cup of coffee.

Early evening, at the Church of St Quentin the Slayer, Boston : Father Seamus o’Patrick receives a visit from a gentleman of Hispanic extraction, dressed in a long trenchcoat, and walking with some difficulty. He introduces himself as Nino Lopez. He has travelled a long way to talk with the priest, after seeing a newspaper article in which the priest is rumoured to have battled against a strange inhuman creature. He explains that he is an ex-serviceman, who was in action against drug smugglers in the jungles of Colombia, when the rest of his patrol were wiped out by a tentacled creature that rose from beneath the ground and dragged his comrades screaming into the depths of the earth. Ever since then, he has travelled the USA in search of proof of what he saw, meeting up with all sorts of weird UFO and occult groups in search of the truth. Now, finally, he has found a man who can help him…

The priest suggests that they should pray together, and seek God’s help, but this is interrupted by the phone ringing.

‘Father o’Patrick?’

‘Yes’. In the background, the sound of classical music can be heard.

‘My name is James McAteer. You don’t know me but I work for the Boston Globe. I found your name following reports of a little disturbance at an Arkham hospital some months back.’

‘Uhhh, right’

‘I have some information here which I think is of interest to us both.’

‘Yes…?’

‘It’s a bit difficult to explain over the phone. Could you perhaps come over to my flat to talk this over?’

‘Well yes…but I think I ought to warn you that people who say Could we arrange to meet up to talk this over usually end up dead!’

‘Sorry?’

‘Er nothing. OK, I’ll be right over’

‘One more thing Father…can you read music?’

‘What?’

‘Hmmm, that’s a shame. Never mind, come over anyway. I’m on level four at 226 Curwen street’

At the Boston Plaza hotel, George receives a call from the hospital where Basil has lain in a coma for the past two months. It appears he’s finally woken up! So George gives Seb and Scuzzi a call, and they drive round to see him.

Basil is propped up in bed, a little confused, and not a little disappointed to finally wake from strange dreams of blanket baths administered by nubile and scantily-dressed females.

‘Hello Basil. It’s George. Now don’t get excited, but I’ve got some rather strange news for you. We are no longer beneath Sir Matthew’s house in London. We are in fact in Boston USA. And we’re no longer in 1899. It’s 1999. It’s pretty good, they’ve got this thing called television, and channel 34.’

Basil opens his eyes. He sees George, two unknown females, and a man dressed in a velvet suit and frilly shirt. He looks to the nurse :-

‘Woman! Put some clothes on at once!’

Then at Scuzzi :-

‘And fetch me my pipe and be quick about it!’

Then at Sebastian :-

‘You dress like a sailor, sir!’

George intervenes. ‘Ah, yes, well this is Dr Danger Scuzzi’

‘A doctor indeed? This mere slip of a girl? Pah, you jest George!’

‘And this is Sebastian Travers’

‘Sebastian? I once knew a sailor of that name sir!’

Seb retires to chat to the nurse, and persuades her to go for a cup of coffee at the Starbuck’s over the road.

Meanwhile, a ‘proper doctor’ ie a man, arrives, and explains that Basil can be discharged as long as he has a place to stay with medical attention to hand. George says that he is a qualified doctor, and will look after him. He arranges a porter and a wheelchair as Basil is too weak to walk. Thoughtfully, he also blindfolds him so as too save him from an unpleasant shock as he sees the city for the first time.

Basil is wheeled away to a waiting car : ‘It’s good to see you again George. I’ve had some rather odd dreams. I’ve been making little tents in those bedclothes for ages…’

Father o’Patrick and Nino make their way to the fourth floor. Outside Jimmy’s flat are a middle-aged couple, one of whom is persistently knocking on the door. From inside, loud classical music can be heard. The gentleman introduces themselves as Franz and Bea Ilgner, and Mr Jimmy has been playing his music far too loud for the last half-hour.

The priest, surmising that a combination of a mysterious phone call, a locked door, and suspiciously loud music from within does not bode well for the continuing health of Mr McAteer, calls Mouldy Fox on his mobile. Whilst waiting for the FBI man to arrive, Dr Mcnamara turns up. He’s also had a phone call from James McAteer, with some weird stuff about reading music?

The cozy chats on the landing are interrupted by Mouldy’s arrival :-

‘OK, you guys were supposed to meet this McAteer guy here, right?’

‘Right’

‘And he’s not answering right?’

‘Right’

‘And these people here say the loud music started about half-an-hour ago right?’

‘Right’

‘OK then, only one thing to do…’

‘Break down the door!’ says Nino

‘What???’

‘Or shoot the locks off!’, states the mysterious Mexicano.

‘Or…and this is a radical suggestion I know…we call the janitor and just ask him to unlock the door.’, says Mouldy.

So the janitor is summoned, and the door is unlocked. Loud, loud, opera music is heard from within.

Mouldy enters the apartment. There’s a door on his left, two on the right, and one at the end of the corridor. He withdraws his gun, and carefully checks the room to his right. It’s a bedroom. All clear. Shift to the other side of the corridor, repeat the procedure. A closet. All clear. Suddenly, he hears a sound from behind him!

He spins around to see the Mexican holding a shotgun. Not just any shotgun, but a veritable piece of field artillery!

‘Drop the gun!’

‘Just trying to help!’

‘I said, put the gun down sir!!!’

Nino folds the weapon away inside his trenchcoat. Mouldy motions Father o’Patrick over.

‘Do you know this guy?’

‘Er yes, his names Nino Lopez…he says his entire brigade were wiped out in Colombia by some gigantic tentacly thingy…he thinks we can help him’. The wise and well-adjusted priest touches his forehead and whispers ‘Between you and me, I think he might be a little…you know…’

Mouldy sighs, and moves on to the next room. He enters, cautiously. This room is definitely the source of the sound. As he enters, he sees a figure, slumped in a chair, in from of a PC. A revolver lies at his feet. And the top of his head is missing…

‘OK, Father, go and tell those two outside to go back to their flat, and get the janitor to call a meat wagon. Nathan, come in and keep an eye on Guido here…’

A wave of Wagnerian bass thunder sweeps the room…

Mouldy turns off the hi-fi.

Father o’Patrick explains the situation to the distraught couple : ‘Mr Jimmy was such a nice man…always playing your famous American hippety-hop music…in Germany we do not have such things…only Kraftwerk…’

Carefully, Mouldy examines the desk. The surface is clear, the drawers are full of newspaper clippings and magazine articles, including one from the Arkham Observer on a mysterious incident in a hospital back in July. There’s a briefcase containing more reams of paper, a press pass for Mr James McAteer of the Boston Globe, and two post-it notes :-

Mon 6.30 : Nat, Charlton’s

Tue 6.30 : Nat & Rich. Charlton’s

Nino sees the curtains are blowing slightly, and a crumpled piece of paper trapped between the curtains and the skirting board. It reads :-

Father ? o’Patrick

Nathan Macnamara

2 Feds???

2 others???

The window is slightly ajar, and leads on to a fire escape, but no tracks are to be seen.

The PC’s screensaver is on, so, using a pencil, Nathan moves the mouse enough to remove it. The desktop is empty, apart from the basic icons. Nathan then checks the documents menu. Files ‘Page001.jpg’ to ‘Page015.jpg’ are displayed, but the files are not present when he tries to display them. The recycle bin has also been cleared…

Mouldy ejects the disk from the Hi-fi. The CD label reads:-

Wagner. Parsifal. Act 3 (Lehnsherr, Essen Oper). Deutsche Gramophone.

He hasn’t a clue what this means, but recognises the language as German. Phew, what a lucky coincidence, McAteer has German neighbours! Nathan goes next door and asks Franz if he can explain what it means :-

‘Ah yes…Wagner’s Parsifal. On our famous Deutsche Gramophone. Conducted by a Herr Lehnsherr, and recorded by the opera in Essen.’, states Franz.

‘Right. Er, do you know what it’s about?’, asks Nathan

‘I am sorry, I know little about the opera. I shall ask my wife…Bea! Bea?’

‘Uh, not just now thanks, could I just talk to your wife perhaps…’

A tearful Bea Ilgner emerges. She has been praying for poor Herr Jimmy, such a nice man etc. etc. She explains the basic plot of Parsifal…leader of the knights of the Holy Grail maimed by a spear used to pierce the body of Christ…wound never heals…knights in disarray…the innocent Parsifal recovers spear from evil sorcerer and becomes enlightened…heals the leader of the Grail Knights…etc etc . Nathan feels his eyes begin to glaze over, so he returns next door with the disk.

Father o’Patrick suggests trying the CD in the PC. It starts playing music. He then suggests trying to play it backwards, but nobody seems to know if this is just a desire to hear Wagner backwards or if the priest expects to hear ‘Paul is Dead’ messages…

Mouldy decides to crate up the PC and get the computer boys at the FBI to work on it. Then the ambulance arrives to take away the late Jimmy McAteer.

He takes out his mobile. ‘I’ll just give Scuzzi a call…get her to do an autopsy…’

‘But it’s nearly midnight!’, says Nathan.

‘Nah, she won’t mind. She loves that sort of thing…’

George and Basil arrive at the Boston Plaza hotel. George wheels Basil into his room, ensures the curtains are drawn, and removes the blindfold.

‘OK Basil. We’re going to have to do this in easy stages. I suggest we start with "Television"…’

Some time later, the pair are joined by Seb Travers. He’s in a good mood, as he’s on a promise from the nurse…a Ms Jane Russell…of another date tomorrow night…so to celebrate he passes round a spliff. Much good humour ensues, and the evening passes away with a few jazz cigarettes, some TV, and…well, this Channel 34 really is quite something eh George!

Part 2: In which George and Father o’Patrick demonstrate the values of a classical education…

Morning. The bellhop arrives with room service for Basil and George. Basil seems to have adjusted quite well to 20^th life, with it’s TV channels and exciting sanitary facilities. So George decides it’s time for the Big One. He opens the curtains:-

‘OK Basil, this might be a bit of a shock. But this is Boston’

Basil stares out at the vast, cyclopean, concrete nightmare stretching away in front of him.

‘Hmmm. Big, isn’t it…?’

Scuzzi has some feedback on the autopsy. Basically, James McAteer has been shot through the roof of the mouth. There’s no powder burn on his fingers. In addition, a couple of teeth are damaged, and there’s a bruise on the back of his neck, indicating that he might have been a little unwilling to take part in his demise.

So, Mouldy picks everyone up in his people carrier, and drives them off to FBI HQ to check out what the computer boys have found.

‘So where’s this PC then?’ asks Father o’Patrick.

‘Er, well, it’s in the trunk of the car’, replies Mouldy.

‘You mean you left a vital piece of evidence in your car overnight?’

‘Uh, yes. But I’m sure it’s alright…’

Fortunately the PC is still where he left it. Then Mouldy persuades Nino that he can’t go wandering around FBI HQ with a concealed shotgun, and to store it in the trunk of the car. This isn’t easy, but eventually the Mexican agrees.

The party pile into the vehicle. Except Nino, who has some trouble sitting down…

‘You’ve got something else under that coat haven’t you?’

Nino removes a huge machete.

Sigh.

‘Put it in the trunk…’

So, the computer boys get to work on the PC. They find various things in the internet cache, some sports pages, some porn (‘just like channel 34’ thinks Basil), and a page on lost and ancient civilisations.

George and Basil are both familiar with the name Wendy-Smythe, a young chap widely regarded as being a good sort, mostly harmless, but a bit of a wacko.

In addition, after a little work, they recover the missing JPG files. They form a music score. The title page reads :-

Mouldy puts his head in his hands. Why does everything have to be in a foreign language?

Fortunately, George and the priest have the benefits of a classical education, and they peruse the score, hoping that their Latin will be good enough to allow them to read the Italian. They deduce that the opera is called ‘Requiem Mass for G’harne’ by a Signor Brodighlieri. They scan through the libretto, but their Latin isn’t good enough for them to get the gist of the plot. However, they do find a page containing an unaccompanied chant for 6 voices. It reads :-

George informs everyone that Negotium Perambulans in Tenebris means ‘The Plague that Walks in the Darkness’.

The rest is unintelligible, although the word G’harne seems to be ubiquitous.

In order to prove that a fully-trained FBI agent can be just as effective as a priest and a man one hundred years out of his time, Mouldy decides to search the net for information on G’harne.

Unfortunately, all he succeeds in doing is crashing the server spectacularly…

George and the priest decide to search FBI written archives while the server reboots. They find some basic info on Signor Brodighlieri. He was a very minor Italian composer, born in Genoa in 1762. His only known work Massa di Requiem per G’harne was completed in 1797, after his return from travelling in Africa. The work is only believed to have been performed once, as documented by the diarist Giacomo da Volterra.

When the server has finally rebooted, Mouldy searches for some information on Wendy-Smythe and G’harne : In 1917, Sir Amery Wendy-Smythe returned from Africa with a collection of ceramic shards which, he claimed, depicted the rise and fall of the lost civilisation of G’harne. His theories were universally ridiculed, but he financed the publication of a book called the G’harne Fragments, his attempt to decode the information on the shards. The book enjoyed only a small print run; one copy, and the shards themselves, are known to be in the British Museum.

‘The British Museum! Why then, we must return to England!’, says George.

‘To England! Huzzah!’, cries Basil.

‘By Concorde, perhaps?’ suggests Seb.

‘Hmmm, how are we going to pay for this?’ asks Father o’Patrick.

‘Oh don’t worry, the FBI will cover the tab…’

Silence, then Mouldy speaks : ‘Or…and just let me run with this idea for a moment…we telephone the British Museum and ask them to send us a copy?’

And so, a message is left with the British Museum…

Part 3 : In which the team encounter a member of the press…

Intigued by Nino’s story, Nathan has spent some time on the net, searching for stories of creatures emerging from the earth, and finds a couple of interesting JPEGs of huge, tentacly creatures pulling helpless humans into the ground – these reports come from as far afield as South America, Africa, and the Soviet Union. He takes a few printouts.

After that, he sets off for the offices of the Boston Globe. He explains to the editor, Charlie di Falco, that Jimmy won’t be in that day. Or, indeed, ever…

Charlie is a bit distressed at this. Nathan asks him if he has any idea what Jimmy was currently working on. Charlie says he has no idea, but his mate Nat Daly might. He’s not in the office but can normally be found in the Jackie Charlton after 6 o’clock.

Nathan asks if he can search Jimmy’s desk and PC, but Charlie tells him that’s best left for the cops…

So Nathan heads off to Charlton’s, orders a beer, and has a brief natter with Johnny Jack, the barman, before a guy arrives who Johnny identifies as Nat Daly.

Nathan asks him if he is the Nat Daly of the Globe, friend of James McAteer.

Nat replies, yes, Jimmy’s his best mate, all-round great guy, should be along in a minute…

Nathan breaks the news to him as best he can.

Nat doesn’t take it all that well.

Nathan sits him down with a stiff drink, and explains that Jimmy wouldn’t have suffered at all, the top of his head was blown clean off.

The rest of the team arrive, drinks are ordered, and scores of questions are fired at the grieving and distraught Mr Daly. Nathan shows a few of his printouts to Nino, who becomes a little twitchy, and his hand moves to inside his trenchcoat. The sound of chairs being shuffled away from Nino’s vicinity can be heard…

Nat has only a vague idea what Jimmy’s last story was. He said he’d been approached by some guy from Boston Opera called Richard Adelmann. They’d all met in Charlton’s about two weeks back, when Adelmann had handed a package over to Jimmy. Said it was something about a scandal at the opera house that would rock the arts world and beyond. He doesn’t know why he wanted to speak to Jimmy, though, as Jimmy was a crime reporter and had never shown any real interest in the arts.

So, the team divides up as follows:-

Nathan and Scuzzi will head for Boston Opera House, and try and find Adelmann.

Seb, the highly trained British Intelligence operative, aware of his responsibilities, and his value to the team…heads off for a quiet cup of coffee with Ms Russell…

The remainder of the group drive to Adelmann’s apartment, wheel Basil into the lift, and ascend to the fourth floor. No-one replies to the knocking. Basil applies his specialist lockpicking skills to the door, but is eventually forced to concede that ‘This door cannot be opened by any human means’. He can also smell something quite unpleasant inside.

‘Then we must break down the door!’ cries Nino

Heads turn in Nino’s direction…

‘Or shoot the locks off!’ says the Mexican.

Mouldy sighs, and goes to find the janitor…

Basil is a little confused, as the janitor is black, and his request of ‘A pink gin m’boy, and be quick about it else you’ll feel a taste of the whip’ goes unanswered.

Nevertheless, the apartment door is opened.

The unpleasant smell is emanating from an open bottle of milk in the kitchen. Richard’s flat is pretty small, although there’s a good number of classical music CDs and books. His answering machine shows several phone calls from James McAteer’s number. The redial number also brings up Jimmy’s ansaphone.

The only other thing of interest the group find is a business card, in the name of Dr Carradine, at the Geology Department of Boston University…

Time to call it a night then. Arrangements are made to meet for a ‘power breakfast’ at the Plaza.

Part 4(i) : In which Nathan and Scuzzi become better acquainted

Nathan and Scuzzi arrive at the Opera house to find the performance – Wagner’s Parsifal – is only in the first act. There’s two acts and two intervals to go yet. They pick up a flyer, which reveals that Richard Adelmann is indeed supposed to be in the Opera, as one of the Grail Knights.

Whilst waiting for the performance to end, they go for a quiet drink, much dry wit and sparkling conversation, and a pleasant time is had.

Returning to the opera house, they ask the if Richard Adelmann is available. The stage manager informs them that Adelmann was sacked three weeks previously. No, he can’t tell them why – all he knows is that it was a disagreement with the conductor, Nicholas Lehnsherr, and the director, Peter Begbie, sacked him for ‘unprofessional behaviour’. They’d have to speak with Mr Begbie himself for the precise reasons, but he’s gone home for the night and won’t be back until 9 tomorrow morning.

The pair circulate backstage with various members of the chorus. None of them can add much, beyond the fact that Adelmann stormed out of Lehnsherr’s office one morning, the two of them screaming abuse at each other, and has not been seen since.

So Nathan and Scuzzi decide to return the following morning. It’s now quite late and they haven’t eaten, so they decide to go for a meal.

More sparkling conversation, much good humour, and not a little wine. Nathan is rich, intelligent, has a really cool car, and Scuzzi is hormonally raging. So they go home together…

Part 4(ii) : In which Sebastian and Ms Jane Russell become better acquainted…

Seb passes a pleasant evening. Cup of coffee with Ms Russell, off to a club, late night meal, quick walk back to her place ‘just for safety’, work the mojo – a palpable result – WAH HEY HEY!!!!

Part 5 : In which a camp, yet strangely sinister man is encountered…

The team hold a ‘power breakfast’ at the Plaza hotel, after which it is agreed to search for more information on the opera, and to check out Dr Carradine. In the meantime, Nathan and Scuzzi will return to the opera house and try to dig up more information there.

A search at the university library reveals a copy of Giacomo da Volterra’s diaries, and a commentary on the only known performance of Massa di Requiem per G’harne :-

Further information is found on the content of the opera. It deals with a decadent civilisation, contains many scenes of murder, rape, and incest, and at the climax of the piece, all is destroyed by a great, vengeful god rising from beneath the earth…

Following this, a meeting with Dr Carradine is arranged. George and Mouldy step into his office, whilst the others wait outside.

Dr Carradine is in his fifties, a tall, thin man clad in black. He has a slightly unnerving manner….

‘Ah gentlemen, welcome. How may I be… of service?’

‘Uhm we were wondering if you could tell us if you’ve met with a Mr Richard Adelmann’

‘Adelmann…’, Carradine makes the most out of the word, so that three syllables become a long, canine howl, ‘Aaaaaaaayyyyyyyyyyydelllllllllllllllllmaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaannn….’

‘Er, yes, that’s right. Mr Adelmann.’

‘He came to see me, sirs…a pleasant change…I – get so few visitors these days…’

‘Right, and what did he wish to discuss?’

‘Earthquakes! The preponderance of seismic activity in the Boston area’

‘Uh-huh, and what did you tell him?’

‘There is little unusual seismic activity in the New England area. Two occurrences only in Boston. 1899 and 1949’

‘Really? Whereabouts?’

‘The epicentre of the 1899 tremor is not recorded. The 1949 quake is believed to have it’s epicentre in Westboro, in the area of the chapel…’

‘The Chapel?’, comes the reply as one…

‘The Chapel of Our Lord Granter of Secrets!’

Mouldy looks at George : ‘Well I dunno about you but this has gotta be worth a look hasn’t it…?’

They take their farewell of Dr Carradine.

‘Goodbye sirs…please call again…I am always happy to receive…visitors, n’yhah hah hah’.

The door slams.

George looks at Mouldy : ‘D’you think he’s alright?’

‘Dunno… he sounds a bit like Vincent Price though…’

‘Vincent who?’

‘Oh never mind…’

Part 6 : In which Nathan and Scuzzi return to the opera, and Scuzzi has an unsatisfactory lunch date…

Meanwhile, ‘Team Opera’ aka Nathan and Scuzzi return to the opera house for a talk with the director, Peter Begbie. They ask him if he’s familiar with a work called Massa di Requiem per G’harne, but he informs them that the work is believed to be merely a fiction. Then they enquire as to why Richard Adelmann was sacked from the company.

Begbie shakes his head. Mr Lehnsherr came into his office in a furious rage, about three weeks ago. He said Adelmann was behaving with gross unprofessionalism and demanded his dismissal. Begbie shrugs, ‘What can you do? We have to keep Mr Lehnsherr happy…’

They then ask him if he’s heard any stories of a scandal about to break, but he appears confused and says he’s never heard such a thing.

So Nathan and Scuzzi go to speak to the conductor. Nicholas Lehnsherr is in his seventies, quite frail and obviously not in the best of health. He is courteous, and Nathan detects a slight South African accent.

‘The Massa di Requiem per G’harne? By Signor Brodighlieri?’. The conductor laughs. ‘Yes I’ve heard of it. A fable for children, nothing more. Like the tales of Paganini selling his soul to the devil, it’s used to frighten young aspiring musicians!! No, no, I don’t believe such a work ever existed’

Encouraged by the old man’s affable manner, Scuzzi asks him why Richard Adelmann was sacked…

Immediately, Lehnsherr flies into a rage, and sets off on a huge rant, in which his accent swings wildly from South African to German and a rather poor French accent…he screams that Adelmann was always bothering him for a lead role in Parsifal and was fed up just being one of the Grail Knights. How dare he, he should be privileged to work with the great Lehnsherr!

Scuzzi then asks him if he knows anything of a concealed scandal at the opera house. This does nothing to calm him down…

‘Scandal! There is no scandal!!! Always I am working with unprofessionals, second-raters!!! And this boy, this arrogant pup, he demands…he demands…a lead. He demands of me, Lehnsherr!!! How dare he, how dare he?????’

They thank him for his time and take their leave.

So, everyone seems to deny knowledge of any scandal at the company, and Adelmann was sacked for no better reason than being a bit of a pain. This seems unsatisfactory, so the couple…the couple?…evolve a cunning plan. Scuzzi flirts with Begbie’s young PA guy, and suggests they go for a cup of coffee and a bite to eat…

After much small talk, Scuzzi brings the conversation round to the scandal.

The young guy shakes his head, he’s never heard of this.

Scuzzi sucks an olive off a cocktail stick in an unnecessarily provocative way. ‘Still, I just bet someone in your position…would just know everything that was going on…it’s so nice to meet an intelligent, powerful man for a change’. She stroke the stem of her glass, just so…

The guy splutters into his drink. A pause, Scuzzi can almost hear the cogs of his brain working overtime…

‘Uh, well, there might be something….’

She leans forward. ‘Do enlighten me…’

‘Er, yes, well…er, last week…yes last week…er, Ms la Monaca…her costume comes back from the cleaners…and…there’s been a small tear in the fabric…she was very cross!!!’

‘What?’

‘And…and, and…two weeks ago, Mr Scheltern comes in a bit late…with a bit of a hangover…’.

Sigh. Scuzzi makes to leave.

‘So, er, maybe you’d like to meet up after the show tonight?’

Scuzzi walks to the door, ‘I’m sorry, I’m washing my hair tonight’

‘Fine, fine, no problem. Tomorrow night then?’

Scuzzi keeps walking, somewhat faster, ‘Sorry, busy then as well’.

The guy picks up the pace, ‘Yep, fine, so I’ll give you a call. Howabout your phone number?’

Scuzzi, almost running, disappears with a final call of ‘Not allowed to give my number, sorry, I’ll see you around sometime, yeah?’

And the unfortunate youth is left alone on the sidewalk. Symbolically, perhaps, it starts to rain…

Part 7 : In which Dr Macnamara acts in a manner befitting the best of Lovecraftian heroes.

Meanwhile, Nathan telephones the British library to see if they have a copy of the G’harne Fragments. They do indeed, but as the book is quite rare they are unwilling to send a copy of it to the USA. However, there is known to be a copy in the library of Miskatonic University…

Arkham! Why do things always have to happen in Arkham?

So Nathan sets off to the university, in the hope of finding the forbidden knowledge required. He asks to see their old acquaintance Dr Henry Armitage.

In a great, deep, booming voice, the formidable Dr Armitage enquires :-

‘Dr Macnamara…you are welcome back to dream-haunted Arkham, and the bells and spires of this fine old building…I trust this time, the dandy is not with you…’

‘Sebastian? Er, no. Listen, I know you’re a busy man, but could I have a look at a book in the library. It’s called the G’harne Fragments’

‘The book of Wendy-Smythe? Of course, doctor. But treat such knowledge with caution…here, amongst the shadows and fog of Arkham we treat such lore with great respect…’

‘Yes, yes, right, absolutely, most definitely…er, could I borrow it for a few days then?’

Dr Armitage shakes his head : no, the book may not be removed from the premises. However, Nathan is quite at liberty to copy any bits he finds interesting.

So Nathan sits down in the library with a copy of the book. He persuses it for the rest of the afternoon. He finds the story of the ancient civilisation of G’harne, destroyed by a mighty race of squid-like creatures that arose from the earth and reduced the city to rubble. Wendy-Smythe refers to these creatures by the Latin word xthonios, and the pre-eminent of these creatures is depicted by an Arabic sigil. Three chants, or spells, are also detailed :-

A chant for summoning these creatures.

Nathan shakes his head.

‘The Red Sign’, a terrible curse in which the victims organs are shaken into jelly.

Hmmm, perhaps not…

A chant for dispelling the creatures.

Ah-Hah! Nathan scribbles away furiously…

Part 8 : In which our heroes go to church.

Back in Boston, a little research into FBI archives reveals that the Westboro Chapel was raided by police in 1949 following a series of mysterious disappearances in the area. The police raid coincided with a minor earth tremor in the area. The leader of the cult, who was shot and killed, was a Mr Walter Corbitt. His young son, James, was taken into care soon after…

Further work reveals that the child, James Corbitt, was adopted by Anthony and Sarah Gilmour, now both deceased, and has a half-brother Thomas, still alive.

So James Gilmour, director and designer and Boston Opera is possibly James Corbitt?

The team discuss various ways of possibly confronting Gilmour and forcing him to own up to his past. Perhaps someone could creep up behind him and whisper Mommy needn’t know or Daddy and Jamie play gee-gees now to him, and then observe the reaction. But in the end it’s decided it’s best just to meet him for a cozy chat at his house.

But first, it’s decided to check out the Church of Our Lord Granter of Secrets. Everyone, that is, except Nathan, who’s off doing a little work on his ownsome. Perhaps this is because he prefers to travel by Pontiac and not People Carrier.

So the team set off to the town of Westboro, perhaps half-way between Boston and Arkham. It's a run-down, blue-collar kind of place. The road to the chapel is overgrown, but passable, yet fresh tyre-tracks can be seen.

The chapel is ivy-strewn, and crumbling. Part of one wall has collapsed.

Stone steps lead up to double doors, which are locked with a bright new padlock. Basil is wheeled up the stairs, and picks the lock. The team step into the interior. At one end of the church stands a stone altar, engraven with the words Negotium Perabulans in Tenebris. To the rear, a set of steps lead up into darkness, whilst shafts of light can be seen from the crumbled wall…

Outside, Nino eschews the conventional method of entry and tries climbing over the rubble of the collapsed tower. Halfway up, he slips and slides all the way down, hurting himself in the process. So he decides to use the door instead.

Inside, Mouldy and George try the stairs. One of them splinters away under George’s feet. So they decide, as there are no footprints leading up, to leave them alone.

It is at this point that the team spot a hole behind the altar, perhaps 5 metres in diameter. It descends for perhaps 20 metres, and then a tunnel leads away into the darkness. George thinks perhaps…just perhaps…he can see the outline of a human hand at the tunnel entrance.

The team decide that someone has to go down to investigate. Trouble is, nobody’s got any rope, and there’s none in the car. So Mouldy sets off in the car, along the dirt track back to town…

Time passes.

More time passes.

Eventually, Mouldy reappears. On foot.

‘Er guys, I’ve put the car into a ditch. Any chance of a push?’

Much pushing, grunting and swearing later, and Mouldy arrives in town where he procures several stout lengths of rope.

Back at the hole, the team debate who’s going to descend into the pit. Mouldy volunteers, along with George. Nino says he won’t go down, the power of the creatures beneath is too great. So Father o’Patrick says he’ll go, armed with only the power of prayer, his Bible, and, of course, the nine sacred daggers of St Quentin the Slayer.

And so, the brave three descend into the abyss.

There is indeed a body at the entrance to the tunnel. George examines the corpse. It’s male, killed with a single knife blow to the heart, although the body is horribly dessicated, as if all the bodily fluids had been sucked out. An examination of the victims clothing reveals an ID card in the name of Richard Adelman.

Father o’Patrick calls up, ‘We’re OK…we’re all down in the abyss…there’s a body down here…a great doom has come…let us all pray for deliverance’

Nino, meanwhile, is starting to feel decidedly twitchy. And the acoustics of the place mean that the well-meaning words of the priest echo around his head like :-

The Mexican readies his shotgun…

George and Mouldy make their way into the tunnel. About 20 metres in, they find another body. This one is female, and has been dead for longer, but again, has been killed with a single knife blow. A search for ID reveals an Australian passport in the name of Bernadette McFeeley. Mouldy calls back to Father o’Patrick who calls up to the others :-

‘Another body…truly this is an accursed place of death’.

What Nino hears is :-

Little beads of sweat trickle down the Mexican’s forehead…

The tunnel turns to the right, and then continues sharply downwards. The two decide not to proceed any further, however they find a smooth rock, almost perfectly spherical, and warm to the touch. George decides it could be of interest, so they pick it up…

Deep within the tunnel, a diabolic chanting can be heard, growing in intensity…

Mouldy turns to George, ‘Time to go?’

‘Righty-ho!’

The pair run back to the tunnel entrance, Father o’Patrick is already climbing up the rope : ‘Right, we’re coming out the pit!!!!’

• which Nino hears as:-

Yes, it’s bad flashback time for Mr Lopez!

The chanting swells in intensity…

George follows the priest up the rope…

The chanting reaches a peak, Mouldy grabs the rope, and an enormous black tentacle emerges from the tunnel entrance…

The rest of the team pull with the strength of ten, and drag Mouldy out of the pit, just as the tentacle emerges, and lashes around as if in search.

Nino runs forward screaming and unloads the shot…lumps of protoplasm are blasted off the tentacle which retreats back into the hole, and down the tunnel…

Phew!

The rock is passed around…all are aware of a slight heat from within…and perhaps a slight throbbing…

An egg perhaps?

The team decide that things are not going to be like the Karswell case : this time, no-one is going to sit at home alone with an alien artifact in their possession. And no-one is going to be left facing an eldritch horror with only an alarm clock and a duvet as their last line of defence. No, everyone will check into a local motel together…

A call is made to Nathan, who’s completed his research at Miskatonic, and they arrange to meet at a nearby motel.

Mouldy takes count, ‘Right then, we want a twin room for George and Basil, singles for me, Guido here, and the Father…’

He pauses, and looks expectantly at Nathan and Scuzzi…

An embarrassed silence. Scuzzi’s upper lip twitches expectantly.

A cruel smile passes across Nathan’s face, ‘A single room for me please!’

Part 9 : In which alien horror emerges after aeons of rest, and Basil has a quiet smoke with it…

Morning.

The team set off back to Boston University, apart from Mouldy and Scuzzi who go off to interview James Gilmour.

George and Nathan consider the notes made by Nathan on the G’harne Fragments. George identifies the word xthonios as chthonian, literally meaning ‘of the earth’. The Arabic sigil is a little more problematic. At the language faculty, they find the sigil translates as ‘Shiddah al-muell’, Shiddah being Arabic for violence or destruction.

George ponders the dispelling chant found by Nathan. The problem is it seems to be practically unpronounceable. One of the university lecturers, however, identifies it as being a very early example of Polynesian languages…

The egg-shaped rock is taken to Dr Carradine. He’s unable to identify the precise nature of the rock however.

At something of a loss, George asks if they can use the facilities to open it up. And so a section is taken out of the egg with a band saw. Inside, a small, tentacled, slug like creature can be seen, about 8 inches in length. So, a further section is taken out, and very carefully the creature is removed with a pair of forceps and dropped in a jar.

George leaves to find someone who understands Polynesian languages at the language faculty, in the hope of finding out how to pronounce the chant. In the meantime, Seb, Basil and Nino sit and watch the creature in the jar…

Time passes. Nino starts to feel a little twitchy.

Perhaps he can hear a far-off chanting…?

Perhaps not.

But then he notices the edge of the glass jar is starting to bubble and melt!

Basil and Seb watch in amusement as the frantic Mexican grabs another jar, tips the creature into it, and fills it with water…

The creature stops moving…

Nino looks pleased with himself. But then all three start to hear the chanting…

Basil wheels himself over to the edge of the table and looks at the creature.

‘Hmmmm, tricky one this! You see, it could be dying in there…’

The chanting builds, the room physically shakes…

‘And I don’t expect it’s mother will be very pleased…’

More chanting, more shaking…

Basil taps his pipe. ‘You know, I wouldn’t be at all surprised if she was on her way to see the little chap right now’.

Nino visibly twitches…

‘That thing in the pit was rather big, wasn’t it? Mr Lopez????’

Nino grabs a pair of forceps, picks up the creature and transfers it to another empty jar!

The shaking subsides…

‘Jolly good, that’s better eh???’

The creature revives somewhat after a few minutes. Again, the glass starts to bubble and melt. Seb and Nino run around in confusion…

Basil wheels himself over to the sink, and fills a tank half full of water. Then he places a rock inside the tank. Then he places the creature on top of the rock.

‘Now then, what’s he going to do here eh?’

The creature moves to the edge of the rock, and probes gently at the water…

‘That’s right, can’t go that way can you?’

…then moves around it’s circumference….

‘No, no way out there either is there?’

Then it begins to burrow inside it. A few seconds later the creature hurriedly returns to the surface in a cloud of steam.

Basil smiles smugly. ‘Ah-hah! A result I think! Sebastian my man, be so good as to roll me a smoke!’

And so Basil amuses himself by blowing smoke into the baleful little eyes of the alien horror!

Some minutes pass, interrupted only by the smoke alarms ringing furiously, and then George arrives. He has a piece of paper with a phonetic description of the chant.

George begins the chant. The creature moves back and forth across the rock in a state of some distress…a faint tremor can be felt…retorts and jars fall to the floor. The creature burrows within the rock, only to emerge again seconds later. Then it lies still, smouldering gently…

‘Jolly good chaps! A solution to all our problems then!’

‘Well done George!’

‘Well done Basil!’

‘A cup of tea, and time for my pipe I think!!!’

Part 10 : In which our heroes prepare for combat with the forces of darkness, armed only with a fire extinguisher and a small plank of wood…

Mouldy and Scuzzi go back to the opera house, only to find that James Gilmour will not be in until late afternoon, so they drive over to his house in a quiet Boston suburb. They explain that they’re investigating the murder of Richard Adelmann. Gilmour is polite if distant. He also denies the existence of any such work as the Massa di Requiem per G’harne…

Eventually, Mouldy brings the conversation round to the question of Gilmour’s father and his childhood. No special psychology skills are needed to determine that Mr Gilmour is very shaken by this line of questioning! All he can say is that he is aware his father did some Very Bad Things; but he was just a child at the time and remembers very little about it.

So the two FBI agents take their leave, then call the Bureau and arrange for Gilmour’s phone to be monitored, and to have him followed.

They return to the university to find the rest of the party enjoying a nice cup of tea, and surveying the crispy remains of a Many-Tentacled Alien Horror. A pleasant herbal smell hangs in the air. George explains the dispelling chant so that everyone can learn it.

A call comes in from the feds : Gilmour made a call to the opera house shortly after Mouldy and Scuzzi left. He then drove to the opera, and then left 30 minutes later with an elderly man. Unfortunately, the FBI ‘trail’ lost the car in traffic shortly after…

Mouldy decides that they’ll have to return to Westboro and catch the cultists in the act before the creature in the pit re-emerges. So it’s time for a basic equipment check :-

‘Right, we’ll take the rope, and I’ll get some flare pistols. And bearing in mind what happened last time, I’ll get two 4x4s from the Bureau’

‘Excuse me Mr Fox’, the wise priest questions, ‘I of course will be armed only with my faith and the Sacred Daggers of St Quentin. But will the rest of you really be safe with only two planks of wood for protection?’

‘Plank of wood? Oh, 4x4…right, got you…’

Sigh.

‘So we’ve got weapons, flares, rope, the 4x4s…or, for the benefit of Father o’Patrick, the AUTOMOBILES…anything else we need?’

‘Fire Extinguishers!’

‘What????’

‘Fire Extinguishers!’, cries Nino, ‘the creature is afraid of water!’

Mouldy points at the charred remains of the creature. ‘Look – this thing’s about the size of a cigar! It’s afraid of water because it can DROWN in it….the thing in the pit could be about 100m long! D’you really want to go into combat with it armed with a fire extinguisher?’

Nino sets his jaw in a firm line. ‘The creature is afraid of water…I say we take them!’

Mouldy phones the Bureau. ‘This is agent Mouldy Fox. I have an urgent requisition order…two 4x4s…no, no, I mean off-road vehicles…4 flare pistols…100 m of rope….and…and some fire extinguishers please….’

He hangs up the phone and sits for a while with his head in his hands.

Shortly, the phone rings again. Gilmour’s car has been found in the car park of a shopping mall.

It’s early evening, and there’s really only one place Gilmour and Lehnsherr would be going…it is time for the team to meet their destiny!

But first, Seb has a phone call to make…

‘Helloooo, Jane baby….yeah?….mmm, sexy….listen, baby I can’t make it tonight…well, I’m fighting evil…no really….no really…’

The line goes dead.

‘Groovy baby, I’m single again. Let’s kick some alien butt baby, YEAH!!!!!’

Part 11 : In which our heroes return to Westboro, and a date with destiny….

The team set out in the two 4x4s, Mouldy, Nino, Seb and Nathan in the first; Scuzzi, Father o’Patrick, George and Basil in the second. As the trail winds up to the chapel, Nino again hears a far-off chanting in his head, and begins to get a bit twitchy…

The two vehicles continue up the track. The chanting now becomes audible to all.

Eventually, the lights of the first vehicle pick out the crumbling chapel. A people carrier is parked outside. The dreadful chanting builds in crescendo, and a faint rumble can be heard from beneath the earth…

Mouldy stamps on the accelerator, and the 4x4 hurtles up the steps, crashes through the doors, and comes to rest in the interior. The four pile out of the car…

Facing them are 6 robed figures. Standing at the altar is Lehnsherr, holding an object above his head, and chanting. To his left stands Gilmour. The two of them are flanked on each side by two cultists.

A moment’s silence as the parties face each other. Perhaps this can all be sorted out peacefully. But then one of the cultists reaches for a revolver.

Mouldy smiles as he reaches for his gun. This is payback time. Now he knows what he’s dealing with, no sanity-blasting alien horrors. Just a firefight, allowing all his finely-honed FBI skills to be brought into play. This is his moment!

He takes aim, and squeezes the trigger…

<Click>

Quickly, he tries to take cover behind the 4x4 and free the jam, but not before he stops a bullet in his shoulder!

Still, Seb is on the case! Pah, these FBI dudes eh? Just as well the Brits are here to sort things out. He draws and fires in one fluid motion…

<Click>

Seb dives for cover. Desperately he applies all his mechanical skills to the task of unjamming his gun:-

- but unfortunately all he succeeds in doing is bending the barrel into an L-shape :-

- and then staggers backwards from the force of a shot!

The wise Father o’Patrick surveys the firefight : ‘Look, will everyone just please stop getting shot!’

Things are not going well. Still, when the highly-trained gunslingers of the FBI and British Intelligence have failed, you can always rely on a Military Historian : Nathan takes aim, fires, and Gilmour drops to the ground!

Nino readies his shotgun…with military precision he lines up the frail figure of Nicholas Lehnsherr. The professional soldier, trained to kill in jungle combat against drug-running heavily-armed guerrillas faces down the elderly conductor!

BBBBBBBBBAAAAADDDDDDOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOMMMMMMMMMM!!!!!!

The cruel shotgun blast strikes the old man full in the chest, and his body is literally blown into pieces.

More shots are exchanged, Nino blasts away another cultist. Then a terrible screaming is heard…

One of the cultists can be seen being dragged into the pit by an enormous ropy black tentacle, as the amorphous form of the creature begins to emerge from the pit. The party survey this horror with stoicism, except for Seb who throws his hands up in front of his face, screams, and drops to the ground and curls up in a foetal position.

George regards the tentacled horror. ‘Ah, right. As expected then…now where’s that chant thingy? In my pocket somewhere…forget my own head next…ah, here we are…Nathan, could you give me a hand with this please?’

And the two brave adventurers chant the words of a long-dead language…

The unfortunate cultist disappears into the pit with a final despairing cry. More tentacles thrash around in search of prey, as the rest of the creature’s body slowly begins to emerge from the pit.

George and Nathan continue chanting; the onlookers, friend and foe alike stand transfixed at this titanic mental struggle, until the two find hitherto undreamed-of reserves of willpower! Their chant reaches a peak, and suddenly a blaze of white light momentarily obliterates everything!

Silence.

Smoke drifts through the air, and the creature – now half emerged from the pit – lies charred and motionless.

Everyone stands in absolute silence for the briefest of moments. Then Father o’Patrick runs forward, a small cloth bag under his arm, and hurls himself into the pit!

‘Ah, Spawn of Evil, with the First Sacred Dagger of Saint Quentin I Exorcise Thee!’

‘And with the Second Sacred Dagger of Saint Quentin I Exorcise Thee!’

Not to be outdone, Nino runs forward with a blood-curdling scream. At the edge of the pit, he stands and empties his shotgun into the remains of the creature.

‘Bastard! This one’s for Jonny!’

BAAAADDDDOOOOOMMMM!!!!

‘And this one’s for Steve!’

BAAAADDDDOOOOOMMMM!!!!

‘And this one’s for Chico!’

BAAAADDDDOOOOOMMMM!!!!

In the pit, Father o’Patrick finds himself in the middle of a war zone, as shots explode all around him, and slimy lumps of protoplasm are blasted through the air….

‘And with the Final Sacred Dagger of Saint Quentin I Exorcise Thee!’

Nino has to pause to reload, and there’s a moment of silence.

Father o’Patrick calls from the pit : ‘OK…I think it’s definitely dead…I’m coming up now….’. And the wild-eyed priest emerges, drenched from head to toe in alien gore.

The two remaining cultists survey the scene of carnage, and, as one, drop their weapons and raise their hands.

George turns to Nathan. ‘Well done old chap! Has to be said, that was all rather painless wasn’t it?’

Then the room shakes again and the other-worldly chanting begins! The floor erupts beneath Mouldy’s feet, huge tentacles emerge and try to pull him beneath!

George and Nathan start chanting again, joined by Scuzzi.

Mouldy is pulled further and further into the abyss beneath.

Basil wheels himself over, and looks into the yawning pit below Mouldy. The shape of a huge creature can be seen below.

‘Hmmm, just hold still there Mr Fox…this shouldn’t take a moment…I’m a crack shot with the old Derringer you know….’

He takes aim at the ropy black tentacle.

BANG!

‘Sorry old chap. First time…’

Father o’Patrick and Nino make their way back from the pit. George, Nathan and Scuzzi continue chanting. Seb lies curled up in a corner of the chapel. And Basil readies himself for another shot on the tentacles holding Mouldy.

The two remaining cultists suddenly realise that, in fact, there is now no-one available to surrender to. So they make a break for it, towards the back of the chapel and out over the collapsed wall.

But Nino is too fast for them! He lines up the figure of a fleeing cultist, and the jungle warrior unleashes a shotgun blast. The cultist screams, but only briefly, as the blast rips through his back; and then lies still. The other scrambles away over the wall, and outside…

Meanwhile, Mouldy has been dragged further into the ground; now only his head & shoulders are directly visible. All Mouldy can see are Basil’s ankles, and the ominous shadow of a gun looming over him…

‘Quite still please Mr Fox….’

‘Please don’t fuss old chap, only puts me off y’know…quite still now…’

BANG!

Fortunately, Basil hits the tentacle this time.

George, Nathan and Scuzzi can feel the creature beginning to weaken, and steel themselves for a final mental effort. The tentacles loosen, and Mouldy manages to pull himself free as the creature retreats into the earth.

The wise Father o’Patrick, however, has formulated a masterly plan! What better than to seal the creature within the earth??? And how better to achieve this than to drive the 4x4 into the hole on top of it???

The priest has never driven a car before in his life, but he thinks it looks straightforward enough. As the creature feebly flails in it’s death throes, the priest jumps into the front of the car, and turns the ignition. The car kangaroos forward, towards the hole, and Father o’Patrick hurls himself out at the last moment. The car crashes down upon the dying creature, as the priest discharges a flare pistol into the vehicle!

The chapel shakes as the car erupts into flame. The wreckage then slowly settles within the hole, sealing the dead form of the tentacled horror below.

Absolute silence, broken only by the crackle of flames.

The party members who can still walk, or, in Basil’s case, wheel, examine what’s left of the chapel. An egg is found by the altar, so everyone starts chanting again until it cracks open to reveal the charred, lifeless form of the embryonic horror inside. By Lehnsherr’s body is a ceramic shard depicting a many-tentacled slug-like creature, and the Arabic sigil Shiddah al-Muell. Basil blasts it into a thousand pieces with his Derringer. A search outside reveals that the surviving cultist has vanished with the people carrier.

Gilmour, it transpires, is still alive, but unconscious.

‘Well done George’

‘Well done Basil’

‘Well done everybody! Time for a smoke I think, eh, Mr Travers?’

But Seb remains silent, huddled up in the corner.

Basil waves a reefer under his nose. No response.

George takes a look at him. ‘Hmmm, serious indeed. Best to get him to a hospital as soon as possible’

Mouldy is in a genuinely terrible state, battered and bruised by the tentacles, and having lost a fair amount of blood from gunshot wounds.

Father o’Patrick sits down next to him, and together they survey the carnage. Seb is curled up in a ball, happily gibbering to himself. Three people lie dead, one an elderly man, and another who was evidently shot in the back. The remains of a 4x4 lie smouldering in a hole in the chapel floor. And then there’s the body of an enormous tentacled slug-like creature emerging from a pit at the back of the chapel….

‘Don’t worry my son! I’m sure you can explain this all away…’