Abduction Experiences -- Part II

Hidden Even From Myself
 
 
 

Recorded:   Sun Aug. 24 13:50 EST 1997
 

I would like to begin this by speaking of  the more psychological indications or symptoms.  These are the ones that cause your stomach to knot and give you the urge to hide under the nearest table.  I find the most interesting of  the symptoms.  In her article, "Are You an Alien Abductee?1," Melinda Leslie  describes thusly:
 

   Have strong reaction to cover of Communion or pictures of aliens.  Either an aversion to or being drawn to.
     Have an interest in the subject of UFO sightings or aliens, perhaps compelled to read about it a lot or an extreme aversion towards the subject.
 
    The first time I saw the box for Communion I almost passed out.   A simple drawing caused a panic attack.  I had never heard Whitley Streiber's story but just looking at the box was enough to scare.  It was several months before I got up the courage to rent it and I rented it twice before I could watch it all the way through.   My husband refuses to watch it at all and I have not asked my daughters to watch the video.    Someday I may get up enough courage to buy the book.   I might even read it eventually.
    Not all books about UFOs and/or aliens have this effect on me.  I have read the book on the Gulf Breeze sightings,   Years ago I read several newspaper and magazine articles about abductions in Mississippi as well as other places.   I was skeptical about what I read, but I never made any connection between any of those experiences and anything that I remembered happening to me.
    The only story I heard that "got on my nerves"  was the one about Travis Walton.   When the movie came out I really wanted to see it but my husband refused to go and none of my friends are interested in things like that.   When it came out on video I rented it.   By then I had seen Communion  and figured I could watch anything.   Well, I was almost right.   Everything was all right until the scenes where Travis is taken to the hospital and begins to have flashbacks.   By the time the part of the story where he remembers waking up in his "bunk" in the UFO and the events that followed  I was into my Lamaze Breathing exercises.   I kept telling myself that I was in no danger; I was at home in my own living room; I was safe.    Because those scenes take up such a small part of the movie I made it all the way through.
    What really impressed me was that Streiber and Walton would come out of the shadows and try to tell people what happened to them.    To talk about things they knew they were not supposed to talk about. What trust they must have had in the people around them to not abandon them.   What courage it must have taken to speak out knowing that the Government had made people vanish forever for or totally ruined their lives and reputations for leaking such information.   What force of will to stand up to their kidnappers telling them they will not cooperate by remaining silent.

    You may not understand why I have written this as the preface to the next installment of my experiences but I felt that if I didn't explain these things first you might never how frightening it is for me to go public at this time.   Over the last few days as I prepared the article discussing the physical and emotional problems my daughters and I have suffered  I began to lose my determination to complete this revelation.   The new sense that this was the important task that I had to complete not just for myself but for others who have gone through this began to be replaced.   
    The old fears that kept my memories hidden from myself and the world were taking hold.   The fear that the events in my life that seem to defy explanation would be dismissed as the imaginings of a crazy lady.    The fear that my children who are in the legal custody of the Government would be taken from me and I might  never be able to see them again.   However, I am tired of living my life in fear and of allowing fear to govern my actions.   After over 45 years of living with these things enough is enough.     
 

  
  1"Are you and alien abductee?"   52 signs of abduction by UFOs or aliens! Indicators compiled by Melinda Leslie  , edited by Mark Williams.
 
 

 Return to Part I

 Go to Part III


 
 Return to Main Page
 
 

1