There were three priests in a railroad station, all wanting to go home to Pittsburgh.
Behind the ticket counter was a very, very shapely lass. Well- endowed, gorgeous,
amazing. The priests were all in embarrassing new territory, so they drew straws
to determine who would get the tickets. The first priest approached the window. "Young
lady," he began, "I would like three pickets to titsburg...," whereupon
he completely lost his composure and fled. The second priest approached. "Young
lady, I would like three tickets to Pittsburgh," he began, "and I would
like the change in nipples and dimes." So, of course he also fled. Then came
the third. "Young lady, I would like three tickets to Pittsburgh, and I would
like the change in nickels and dimes. And I must say," he continued, "if
you insist on dressing like that, when you get to the pearly gates, St. Finger's
going to shake his peter at you."