Date: Tue, 25 Jun 1996 22:03:23 -0400
From: Kelli Rocherolle <kelli@edgenet.net>
Subject: Story


The Offspring
by Kelli Rocherolle

No X-file here.  No high drama.  Pure subjective character 
exploration (and, of course, romance).  I've been wanting to do a 
story like this for a long time, to examine how these two 
characters might react under these circumstances.  Any comments 
can be directed to kelli@edgenet.net  Thanks for the bandwidth!

*The following story is based on characters copyrighted by Ten 
*Thirteen Productions, created by The Man, Chris Carter, and 
*who are the property of the Fox network and are used without 
*permission. No infringement intended.

********************************

The Offspring

The police department was in chaos.  Children of various ages 
dressed in nothing but cotton, hospital-type gowns were 
ransacking desks of exasperated detectives and reeking havoc with 
the water fountain.

Mulder and Scully approached a harried-looking sergeant and 
asked to be directed to the detective in charge.

"Detective King,"  the sergeant responded, motioning to a tall, 
stocky gentleman in his late forties, "over there."

Scully started for Detective King but stopped when Mulder didn't 
follow.  She gave him a curious look.

He nodded in the direction of a uniformed officer.  "You go ahead 
and talk to King, I'm going to question the officer who brought 
them in."

Scully nodded in return and they headed their separate ways.

Mulder approached the young man.  "Officer..." he bent forward 
slightly to examine his name tag, "Creed.  I'm Fox Mulder, I'm 
with the Bureau," he said, flashing his badge.  "Can you tell me 
what happened?"

Creed nodded and took out his pad.  "Yes sir."  The officer was 
still green and glanced at his pad nervously as he spoke.  "My 
partner and I were out on patrol, we had just gone down 
Lexington and turned onto Chapel when we saw this group of kids 
coming out of the field behind the old church-- just comin' out of 
there like a bunch of ghosts floating up from the cemetery.  It was 
weird.  Anyway, we rounded them up and brought them in.  There 
were fourteen of them all together, all girls, ages range from about 
two to twelve.  We questioned some of the older ones, but..."  the 
officer shook his head, and Mulder knew well the expression on 
his face:  skepticism.

Mulder raised his eyebrows at him.

"Couldn't really get anything out of them."

"Why, what did they say?" Mulder's heart pounded in his chest, 
his throat tightened in anticipation of what the officer was going 
to say.  Cases like this were the reason he was in all this to begin 
with-- maybe, just maybe, one of those children could be 
Samantha.

"Said they were 'dropped off' from some alien space ship.  That 
they were born on the ship from mothers who were... here let me 
get the word they used..."  Creed consulted his pad, "'abductees'."

Mulder nodded, containing his disappointment, but stepped closer 
in interest.  "Well did they say why they were returned now?"

Shrugging, Creed responded:  "No sir.  They say they don't know.  
We don't know what to make of it.  Right now we're thinking 
maybe they were in some kind of cult and brainwashed or 
something.  Lot of talk about that around here, you know?  At any 
rate, we've got a list of the mother's names-- we're going to check 
them out."

"What about the younger ones?  Surely they weren't able to tell 
you their mother's names."

"No, no sir.  There are a few kids who are about two-years old, the 
older kids knew their mother's names for them."

"Do you have the list?"

Creed nodded and handed him a piece of paper.  Mulder scanned 
the names on the list.  He got about halfway down the page when 
he suddenly felt like someone had thrown a bucket of ice water 
over him.  "This name... is this right?  Where did you get these 
names?"  His tone had taken on a hint of urgency.

The officer examined the name he indicated and double checked it 
on his own pad.  "Yes sir, says it right here:  Dana Scully.  And I 
told you, the kids gave us the names."

Mulder looked over across the room at Scully... and saw her face 
go white;  obviously, she had just received the same information.  
She looked up at him and their eyes met across the room.  The 
panic in hers was evident.  Mulder went to her.

"What..."  she was clearing her throat as Mulder came up along 
side her, "what did you say those names were?"

King re-read part of the list:  "Beth Hollan, Donna Price, Anne 
LeMay, Dana Scully, Maria DiCostansa, Julia Walters..."  He 
turned his attention to an approaching officer who required his 
signature.

Scully looked up at Mulder and he could see that she was at risk 
of losing the dinner they'd had only a short time ago.  She 
straightened and turned her attention back to King.  "Well we're 
going to need to contact the mothers as soon as possible to see if 
they can corroborate the accounts of 'abductions'."

Mulder stepped closer, between her and the detective, drawing 
them into private conversation.  "Scully what are you doing?"

"I'm proceeding with the case."

"Did you hear what he said?"

"There's nothing wrong with my hearing."

"One of those children--"

"Let's not talk about this right now, Mulder."

"You have a better time?"

"Mulder..."

He could see she what she was doing, trying to shut off the 
feelings by focusing on the job like they both had so often.  She 
was really rattled, but no way she was going to show it.

She stared at him, and he could see she was trying to keep her 
breathing even. 

He rested a firm, supportive hand on her shoulder.  "Let's not 
jump to any conclusions here, Scully," he said evenly.  "We don't 
know how accurate those names are, we haven't checked any of 
them out.  Besides, there could be more than one Dana Scully."

"Right,"  she nodded in response, but her eyes were focused far 
off, "you're right; it doesn't mean..."  her voice trailed off as a 
group of the children ran by.  Trailing behind some of her older 
cohorts, a little girl with big blue eyes and a perfect cupid's bow 
mouth was looking around the station in bewilderment.  She was 
the only red-head in a sea of blondes and brunettes.

Mulder heart sank; he could've spotted that little girl in the middle 
of a crowded theme park packed with children and he would've 
know she was Dana Scully's.  He looked back down at his partner 
and saw that she had seen the little girl too.  Her mouth dropped 
slightly and a small sound escaped her throat.

Mulder turned her away and, draping an arm across her 
shoulders, started to lead her out of the room.

"No--" she tried to turn around "Mulder--"  

Holding her firmly, Mulder continued to escort her out of the 
room until they were in the quiet hallway.

She leaned against the wall as Mulder held her shoulders.  
"Scully--"

"This isn't possible," she muttered to herself.

"We'll check it out--"

"This isn't possible! I can't..."  She brought a hand up over her 
face.  "My God what did they do to me?"  she breathed, not 
directing the question at anyone in particular.

Mulder tightened his grip on her shoulders to help focus her.  
"Scully, I want you to go home, I'll--"

"There's no way I'm leaving, Mulder," she said firmly.  "I have to 
know if... I have to find out what's going on."  She ran her hands 
over her face and back through her hair, trying to will down the 
bile that was rising in the back of her throat.  "This is impossible," 
she repeated in a whisper.  She looked up at Mulder and met his 
eyes, and she could see they were both thinking the same thing:  
of course, it was.

***********************

Detective King watched the two FBI agents through the glass in 
the hallway.  Whatever they were talking about, it looked pretty 
intense.  But they'd been talking for some time now and he was 
anxious to get the ball rolling.  When he was able to catch Agent 
Mulder's eye, he motioned to him.

***********************

"King wants us."  Mulder looked back down at Scully, but she 
didn't seem to have heard him.  "Scully are you sure about this?"

After a moment, she looked up at him and nodded.

"Because you can take some time--"

"No.  I'm sure, Mulder."

Their eyes held for a long moment.  Mulder nodded back and 
went into the room.

************************

"Sorry to interrupt but I don't have all night," King said.  "What 
do you want to do about these reports?"

Mulder looked around the room.  "Look, it's late.  Why don't we 
wait and question them in the morning.  We'll also need to get 
them to a hospital and run some routine tests, and of course some 
blood samples if we're going to have to run maternity tests.  What 
are you doing with them for the night?"

"We called in DCYF.  They're taking them to a shelter for the 
night, until all the mothers can be contacted."

Mulder tried to sound as casual as he could.  "Well Agent Scully 
is going to be taking one of the children into custody with her 
tonight."

The detective stared at him, the name not registering; his only 
concern the distinct feeling that his toes had just been stepped on.  
"You can't do that..."

Mulder rested his hands on his hips and stepped closer.  "The 
Bureau expects the full cooperation of this department on this 
matter, Detective."

King stared defiantly back at him;  this wasn't procedure, and he 
wasn't going to back down.

Sensing the man bristle, Mulder dropped his hands and lowered 
his voice.  "Look, my partner thinks that one of the children may 
be... may belong to a relative, we want to get a head start on that 
one.  If you catch any heat on it you can tell them I said she was 
taken under my authority."

After a moment, King nodded uncertainly and Mulder gave a 
small smile in appreciation.  A minor commotion to his right 
grabbed his attention as another group of children moved past 
him.  Once again, the little red-haired girl trailed behind.  Mulder 
stared at her.

King followed the agent's gaze to the small child.  A wide grin 
spread across his face.  "Yeah she's a cute one, isn't she?  One of 
the few two-year olds we brought in.  The older girls call her 
'Lily'."

Mulder turned back to face the detective as a cold chill descended 
on him.  And he knew things would never be the same.

*******************************

Calling in another of his favors, Mulder had taken Scully and the 
little girl to a friend and had him run the blood test right then and 
there; he didn't want Scully to have to agonize about it all night... 
and he didn't want to either.  The test only confirmed what they 
both already knew:  it was true,  the child was hers.  She was also 
given a cursory physical exam, and it was obvious that she had 
been well cared for; she was in the normal percentiles for height 
and weight in her age range... though it was estimated she was 
probably closer to three than two.  She had a solid, mesomorphic 
build and her motor skills were above average.  All in all, she was 
in perfect health.

Though it was very late by the time they were heading back to her 
apartment, Scully sat wide awake and stoic in the passenger's seat 
next to him as Mulder took them home.  She didn't say a word the 
entire drive back.

When they'd finally entered her apartment, Scully brought the 
sleeping child into the bedroom and settled her on her bed, 
surrounding her with pillows.  Her face was weary and strained as 
she came back out into living area.

Mulder looked up at her from the couch as she came to sit next to 
him.  He didn't know what to say to her.

She sat forward on the couch.  "I put her on my bed, I hope that's 
okay."  She looked over at Mulder, her eyes were brimming with 
the unshed tears she was fighting back.  She made a helpless 
gesture with her hands and smiled weakly at the floor.  "I don't 
even know if she's supposed to sleep in a crib at this age."  She 
studied her hands in silence, and she was grateful for the warm 
and heavy hand Mulder rested on her shoulder.  After a long 
moment, she started again.  "I don't know if I'm ready for this, 
Mulder.  I just don't know if I can do it.  What am I going to do if 
I can't?  What am I going to do?"  She covered her face with her 
hands, and this time she couldn't hold back the tears; a small, 
choked noise escaped her.  Mulder reached an arm across her 
shoulders, pulling her to him.  She leaned into his chest and cried 
silent tears.

Mulder's heart twisted with sadness as he held her.  That she 
could turn to him for comfort meant more to him than she could 
ever know.  And those rare times she did, he wished he could say 
something to help her feel better, but just like those other times, 
she seemed content just to be held by him.

It was a long time before her tears dried.

******************************

The next day Mulder was surprised to see Scully enter the office-- 
on time no less.  He assumed she would take the day off.  "Hi," he 
said, his tone high with surprise.

"Hi."  She knew what he was wondering.  "She's with my mother.  
Mom said she'd watch her for me whenever I needed it until I can 
get some kind of day care worked out."

Mulder nodded and wondered what Mrs. Scully's reaction had 
been.  Shock would probably have been an understatement.  He 
watched his partner with concern.   Scully had that look on her 
face, the one he knew so well.  He'd seen the same look on her 
face the day after her father died...  her emotions were being kept 
bolted down.

He got up and helped her get her coat off, then rested his hands on 
her shoulders.  "Are you all right?"

She stared at his chest and nodded.

She wasn't, of course, but he wasn't going to push.

*******************************

Mulder watched her carefully as the days moved on; he was 
certain she would crack at any moment and he wanted to be there 
to break her fall.  But with each passing day, he saw that it wasn't 
happening, and he began to worry that when it did it was going to 
be disastrous.  For over a week she stayed late at work, she came 
in on that Saturday... she was avoiding going home; avoiding 
being with that little girl.

"Scully what are you doing?"

"What are you talking about?"

It was late, almost two weeks later, and Mulder couldn't stand to 
watch it anymore; he decided to confront her about it.  "You 
should be home," he said cautiously.

Staring at him because she couldn't deny it, Scully remained 
silent.  After a moment, she nodded at him, then lowered her eyes.  
"You're right."  She started stacking the files she'd been going 
through.

"Just leave that, I'll get it.  You go."

"You're sure?"  He nodded and she forced a small smile in return.

She gathered her things and left, and Mulder stared after her for a 
long time.  The other children had since been examined and 
returned to their mothers; all of them found to be in the same 
condition as Scully's little girl was:  developmentally, physically 
and psychologically well.  Why had they been returned?  Just to 
camouflage the return of the one they really wanted to send back, 
possibly to distract them?  He ran over and over in his mind the 
list of recent cases they'd been working on, but he couldn't think 
of any that might be perceived as a "threat" to the forces who had 
worked against them for so long.  So why?  His thoughts focused 
on that little girl.  He wished so much he could talk to her, that he 
could ask her what it had been like, had they taken good care of 
them?  Did they hurt them?  Did she know a girl with pale blue 
eyes and long brown hair named Samantha?  He'd probably never 
know.  His questioning of the older girls had proven unfruitful, 
they had very little memory of their time prior to being found, of 
their surrogate "parents".  The detectives in the squad had 
jokingly called them "the offspring".  Somehow, Mulder couldn't 
quite see the humor in that.

*****************************

Scully roused her sleeping mother from the couch and saw her off.  
After she'd gone, Scully sat in her kitchen for the longest time.  
She'd made herself a cup of tea to relax with before she went to 
bed;  but it remained untouched.  She stared at the table.  What 
was she going to do?  She'd never thought she was cut out to be a 
mother, though she didn't discount the possibility that someday 
that would change and that she would have children, but she'd 
always assumed she'd have a husband to share the joys and 
responsibilities with, and certainly that it would be planned.  She 
chided herself:  stop whining.  So you didn't plan it... it's not her 
fault.  And she needs her mother.  Though her rational side 
scoffed at the mere idea, in her darkest moments she wondered 
who her daughter's father was... had he been some other abductee?  
Or worse-- one of her abductors?  Or was Lily some product of 
genetic experimentation that required no father?  Scully 
shuddered at the mere thought of the word "clone".  They 
certainly looked like mother and daughter, but it's not like they 
were identical.  She shook her head.  What did it matter really?  
What she should be concerned about was that there was a little 
girl sleeping in the other room who needed her, a little girl who 
was her flesh and blood.  The anger rose in her stomach.  
Assuming she had actually carried the child, she had been denied, 
no-- robbed-- of even remembering the experience of pregnancy, 
of that precious time after the birth where mother and baby bond;  
and now she had a stranger to love.

Scully got up and left the kitchen, leaving her cold mug of tea 
sitting on the table.  She entered her bedroom and padded quietly 
over to the little bed she'd finally purchased; she'd quickly grown 
tired of sleeping on the couch.  Moonlight warmed her back and 
bathed the room as she stared at the sleeping child for several 
minutes.  Finally, she went to her dresser and quietly changed into 
her nightshirt.  As she started back toward her bed, she saw that 
the child was now awake; she sat up and smiled at Scully as she 
approached.

Scully smiled back.  "Hi," she said softly.   

"Night time," Lily informed her.

Her smile widened.  "Yes it is."  She hesitated for a moment, then 
reached out to her.  "Come here, you want to come see me?"

Lily extended her arms up to Scully so she could pull her up over 
the bed's safety guard.

"That's it, come here," Scully crooned softly as she brought her 
into her arms.  She turned and pulled the bedcovers back, settling 
in with her.  "You want to sleep here with me tonight?"

Lily rubbed her eyes and nodded as Scully helped lie her back.  
Propping her head up on her hand, Scully watched the little girl 
fade back to sleep.  It was amazing how kids could do that.  She 
touched her face gently and pushed a strand of hair back off her 
brow.  Lily seemed to have more hair than she thought other two 
year olds had.  It just touched her chin and was very fine.  A 
delicate fringe of bangs covered her forehead.  Scully remembered 
her mother telling her once that she had had an abundance of red 
hair from an early age...  The thought touched Scully, and with a 
sudden surge of emotion, the realization that this little person was 
hers hit her.  For the first time she let the affection come.  
Leaning down to kiss the child's forehead, she pulled her close 
and settled down to join her in sleep.  And just like that, the 
bonding process had begun; and Dana Scully started to fall in love 
with her little girl.

*****************************

Saturday morning the phone in the office rang unanswered.  
Sitting at home on his futon, Mulder replaced the receiver and sat 
back.  Good:  she hadn't gone into work today.  That was a good 
sign.  So she and Lily would spend the day together... he 
wondered how they'd fare.  He debated about whether or not to go 
over there, not knowing if she really wanted some time alone so 
they could get to know each other or if she'd appreciate Mulder 
being there for support.  He couldn't decide.  Usually, Scully was 
so easy for him to read, but he couldn't quite figure what she 
needed from him on this one, what he could possibly do to help.  
Then again, he knew her better than most, and he should probably 
go with his instincts...

*****************************

Scully was pleased to see Mulder at her door.  "Hi, what are you 
doing here?"

He stepped into the room and smiled at Lily, who was playing on 
the floor with some pots and pans.  She was wearing a tee shirt 
and a pair of the smallest jeans Mulder had ever seen.  She smiled 
and displayed a wooden spoon to Mulder, widening his grin.

"If it's about work, this isn't really a good time," Scully said 
apologetically, "I um, I wanted to spend the day with Lily..."  
Scully watched for his reaction.  Normally, she was on 24-hour, 
seven-day-a-week call with her partner to talk about work; she 
hoped he'd understand.

"No... actually I just came to see how you were holding up; if you 
needed anything."

Holding his gaze for a moment, she wondered if he would ever 
know how much she appreciated that.  She reached over and gave 
his hand a quick squeeze.

But he didn't let her draw her hand away, he held onto it and she 
looked at him with surprise.  That tension was there between them 
again, that attraction that turned a tender moment into an 
awkward one and, for just a moment, suspended them in a place 
where nothing else existed but the two of them.  

Lily came over and pulled on his coat, reminding him that he was 
wrong.  "Hi," she said brightly.  His presence always meant...

Mulder smiled at her.  "What?  You want these?" he teased, 
displaying his keys.

She shook her head at him.  "What you have?  I see?"  Lily was 
smack-dab in the middle of her language explosion, and Mulder 
got the biggest kick out of her cave-speak.

"I think she's got my m.o. down, Scully," he said with a smile, 
reaching into his trench coat pocket and pulling out a small 
stuffed bear.  He always brought her a little something when he 
came.

Lily took the toy from him and smiled her thanks.  "Mee- ow," she 
said-- bear, cat, dog... to her it was all the same.

"It's nice of you to bring those things," Scully said. "Between you 
and my mom she'll have an adequate supply of toys in no time."

Mulder smiled reassuringly at her.  He knew it had been a rough 
couple of weeks.  She'd been trying to get everything she needed 
for the baby, but she seemed to run into instances where she 
needed something she didn't have on almost a daily basis.  Mulder 
also knew her mom had been a tremendous help, but Scully was 
feeling overwhelmed.

Lily watched Mulder curiously.  "What that guy doing here, 
Mommy?"

"Guy?"  Mulder asked incredulously... if not a little insulted.  He 
looked over at Scully.  "Well I guess I should be glad she didn't 
say 'dude'."

Scully smiled down at the little girl.  "Who is that, Lily?"

One hand cradled the bear, the other she kept close to her as she 
pointed at him.  "Man."

Scully picked her up.  "That's Mulder."  Glancing at him, she 
teased:  "Not Fox, Mulder."

"Why do I get the feeling I'm going to be 'guy' for quite a while?"

Lily lay a small hand on Scully's cheek.  "Where my neeks, 
Mommy?"

She was looking for her sneakers;  Scully had told her they were 
going to go to the playground.  "I don't know, where'd they go?" 
she asked, walking back into the living area with her and setting  
her on the floor.

Lily displayed her hands questioningly.  "Where go?"

Scully grabbed her waist playfully.  "Did you eat them, Lily?"

"No eat them, Mommy," she laughed.

"No?" Scully interrogated, tickling her stomach.

"No!"  Lily bent forward as she laughed and tried to push Scully's 
hands away.

Mulder's smile faded as he watched the scene.  And for the first 
time in the course of his and Scully's relationship, he felt like an 
outsider.  It was the most horrible feeling in the world.  "Well," he 
said as Scully looked up at him, "I'm going to go."

The disappointment on her face was evident.  "Oh..."  Scully 
swallowed.  Did she really think Mulder would want to come with 
her and her kid to the playground?  Of course not.  "Okay, well 
thanks for stopping by.  I'll see you Monday."

Their eyes held.  

Mulder turned and left.

*****************************

Mulder made himself scarce.  He didn't want to intrude, and he 
was trying really hard to understand she needed the time to get to 
know her little girl, and he would never, never make her feel 
guilty about that. So they saw each other at work, and he would 
drive her home now and then and bring Lily some toy.  But that 
was it.  He would give her whatever time she needed.  She 
deserved that from him.  But it was hard-- he missed her.  Before, 
it was plain to see-- not that either of them would've admitted it-- that 
they needed each other.  Now, he wondered if maybe that wasn't 
so true anymore; at least not for her.  She had Lily.  Maybe Lily 
satisfied some need in her that he never could... and that thought 
devastated him more than any other.  

Scully wondered what was going on with Mulder.  It seemed like 
she rarely saw him these days, aside from work of course.  
Fortunately, things were slow on that end, so she could devote her 
attention to Lily.  She was reluctant to invite Mulder on "family" 
outings with Lily... she didn't want him to feel responsible for 
filling in that part of the little girl's life; the last thing she would 
ever want would be for him to think she was some needy single 
mom who was on the hunt for a father figure for her kid-- not that 
Mulder would ever think that, but still...  She often wished he'd 
volunteer to come along or suggest they do something together 
just for the simple fact that she missed him.  But obviously, he 
was uncomfortable with the situation, and she would never push.  
The bottom line was that he was always there for her, even in this-
- he'd been so supportive up until the last few days; maybe he just 
needed to get used to the idea... and if he couldn't?  That was a 
possibility she didn't want to consider.  

*****************************

When Scully called in to say she was taking the day off, Mulder 
assumed it was to spend it with Lily.  He was surprised when he 
went to drop off some papers she'd forgotten to see Margaret 
Scully in the apartment.  She was coming around the corner from 
the bedroom when Mulder came in.  "Mrs. Scully?"

"Oh Fox you scared me!" she said with a smile.  "I didn't know 
who that was coming through the door."

"Sorry about that... Is Dana here?"

"No, she just wanted to take some time for herself today.  I'm not 
sure exactly where she went, maybe into Georgetown.  She didn't 
mention it to you?"

He shook his head at her.  "No."  Mulder followed her into the 
kitchen and leaned against the counter next to her as she prepared 
Lily's lunch.

Maggie got the distinct impression he wanted to talk to her about 
something.  "Did you want to leave a message?  I'll tell her you 
stopped by..."

"No that's okay.  I just brought some papers she forgot.  I didn't 
think she needed them, but just in case..."

"Well I'll tell her you were here."

They were silent for several minutes as Maggie finished preparing 
lunch and started on some breakfast dishes in the sink.

Mulder studied the floor.

"You know, Fox, you've been a real help to Dana.  She really 
appreciates everything you've done."

Mulder looked over at her with surprise.  "I haven't done 
anything..."

"You've been there for her, Fox," she said pointedly.
 
Mulder stared at her.

"It's true.  Dana said she doesn't know what she would do if you 
weren't there for her through all this."

He turned to better face her.  "Really?  Dana said that?"

She nodded, and Mulder felt like he'd just found something he'd 
lost.

*********************************

It was a cool and misty afternoon, so Scully was alone as she sat 
on the bench overlooking the Potomac.  After she'd spent a few 
hours walking around Georgetown pretending to window-shop, 
she decided to head down to the water and sit for a while so she 
could think away from the crowds of shoppers.  Her thoughts were 
consumed with Mulder, their friendship.  She felt like he was 
slipping away, and didn't know what to do about it.  Was he afraid 
of getting too close to her now that she had a child?  It would be 
just like him to worry about Lily becoming a target like she herself 
had.  Or was he just upset because he felt like she would no longer 
be as committed to their work together?  When she'd sat on that 
bench for close to an hour and she still didn't feel any better about 
the situation, she sighed and stood.  Darkness was settling in, and 
she decided to head back to her apartment.

At home, Scully continued to mull over her thoughts as she 
worked on the dishes.  She was scared to talk to him about what 
was going on, but she didn't know what else to do.  Suddenly, the 
sounds of Lily talking to herself drifted through the baby monitor.  
Scully was thankful for the diversion.

"Get shoes.  Shoes.  Mommy get Lily shoes."

Scully smiled to herself as she listened.

"Playground.  Go playground 'morrow."

She was silent for a minute, and all Scully could hear was that 
gentle baby breath.  She started again. "Time go.  Time go home, 
Lily.  See Mommy.  Time see Mommy.  Bye Bye."

Scully's face fell.  She was barely aware of the sound of glass 
shattering as the cup she'd been drying hit the floor.  She turned 
quickly and headed for the bedroom.

Lily looked over at her as she entered.  "Go sleep Mommy?"

Scully crouched down by the small bed.  "No not yet.  Lily, what 
did you say about home?"

"Home."

"That's right.  What did you say?"

"Here home."

"Yes, but..."  frustrated, Scully couldn't think of any other way to 
ask her.  "Lily... before you came to *this* home, where were you?  
Do you remember?  Can you tell Mommy?"

Lily stared at her, and Scully could see she wasn't getting through.  
"Playground 'morrow Mommy?"

"Sure."  Scully gave her best effort at a smile.  "Sure we can go to the playground 
tomorrow.  Come here."  Scully picked her up and hugged her 
tight.

**********************************

The following morning Scully was surprised to see the lights in 
the basement of the J. Edgar Hoover building turned on:  Mulder 
was there already.  She braced herself outside the door, then 
swung it open.

Mulder looked up at her.  "Hi."  She didn't look like she was in 
any mood to talk, but Mulder really wanted to clear the air with 
her.

"Hi."  She headed over to the desk, avoiding eye contact with him.  
She placed her briefcase on the floor and slipped off her coat.  All 
right, better get this over with.  "Mulder--"

"Scully--"

They spoke simultaneously:  "You first."

Scully lowered her eyes and smiled.  "Okay I'll go," she said, then 
looked back up at him.  "Mulder... is everything all right?"

"What do you mean?"

"Well... it just seems like you haven't been around much lately.  I 
mean you can still call me or stop by if you want to talk about a 
case or something.  It was just that that day--"

"Scully,"  he stood and moved around to her, sitting back against 
the desk.  "It's not like that.  I just want to..."  he motioned with 
his hands, "you know, give you some time with Lily, to get to 
know her.  I don't want to be in the way."

"In the way?  Mulder..."  she shook her head at him.

"I understand, Scully."

"No I don't think that you do."

Mulder stared blankly at her and she didn't know what to say.  
How could she tell him she needed him more now than ever?  

He stood and stepped closer.  "Look, I'm still here for you if you 
need me, Scully.  I just figured you wanted some time with Lily."

"I do, but that doesn't mean that I want less time with you... 
anytime you want to come over, or call, that's fine, that hasn't 
changed."

The corner of his mouth turned up at her in appreciation, but he 
still regarded her uncertainly.

"I'm not abandoning you, Mulder," she assured him.  And she 
hoped he wouldn't do the same.  

********************************

The days moved on;  soon a month had passed, and Scully's fears 
of abandonment soon went to rest.  Mulder was great with Lily, 
and Scully was so grateful to him.  Most partners would've bailed 
a long time ago.  But then Mulder wasn't just her partner, he was 
her friend.  And for that she would always be thankful.

While Scully was down in the laundry room, Mulder typed away 
on Scully's computer.  Lily played quietly with her toys in the 
middle of the room.  It wasn't long before she grew bored and 
wandered over to the desk where he was working.  "What doin'?"

Mulder smiled at the big blue eyes staring up at him.  "Nothing 
that I couldn't use a break from."  He reached down and pulled her 
into his lap.  Reaching over for the stack of CD-ROM's, he pulled 
off Myst and started to boot it up.  "You want to play a game?"

Lily examined the blank screen.  "Where game?"

"Hold on, you'll see..."  and as they waited, she rested back against 
his chest, and Mulder leaned in to smell the top of her head.  He 
was fascinated by that sweet, pure scent, that clean freshness that 
eventually fades with years of marinating in pollution and UV 
rays.  He leaned in further, pressing his cheek against her small 
one and giving her a hug.

She reached up and patted his face.

Mulder smiled against her cheek, and then she sat up as the 
monitor came to life, watching with fascination as the sounds and 
pictures danced before her eyes.

Scully came into the apartment hearing Lily instruct Mulder as 
she pointed to the left side of the screen.  "You go there please."

"Mulder if that's Doom II we're going to have to have a serious 
talk."

He smiled at her over his shoulder, then returned his attention to 
Lily.  "Okay that's enough for now."  It was nearing the time 
Scully liked to give Lily her bath.

"Not over,"  Lily complained.

"We'll play more another time."

"No that's all right,"  Scully sat on the couch, "you can play a few 
more minutes if you want."

"You sure?" Mulder asked.

Scully nodded and sat back on the couch, reaching for the remote 
as she did.  Mulder seemed to be spending more and more after 
work time with her and Lily and Scully wondered what exactly 
was going on.  Sure, after they'd had their talk, she assumed she'd 
be seeing more of him, she just didn't think so *much* more.  Not 
that she minded in any way; it was great.  But that still left her 
wondering why.  She knew he had taken a real shine to Lily, but 
often he would stay long after the child had gone to bed.  Maybe, 
like she did, he just missed that time that they used to spend alone 
together.

Not five minutes later when Mulder turned around to ask Scully if 
it was time, she didn't appear to be on the couch.  Setting Lily on 
the floor, he stood and went over to peek over the back of the 
couch.  Scully was fast asleep.  Though she would never admit it, 
motherhood was exhausting her.  Not wanting to wake her, 
Mulder draped a throw blanket over her and decided he'd give 
Lily a bath for her.  He'd never been much of a baby person... he 
was much better at relating to older kids than small ones.  But he 
and Lily were growing comfortable with each other now, and 
besides, how difficult could it be, right?

Mulder soaped Lily's head as she played contentedly with her little 
plastic doll, practicing one of her favorite words:  "Bay-bee, bay-
bee, bay-bee," she recited as she dunked the doll under and back 
up from the water repeatedly.  She closed her eyes and sputtered 
as Mulder poured a cup of the warm water over her head to rinse 
out the baby-shampoo.  She laughed and dunked her doll back 
under the water.  "Water Da-dee."

Mulder froze.  And like the Grinch in that ridiculous Christmas 
story, he suddenly felt like his heart had expanded to three times 
its normal size...  and it scared the hell out of him.  He stared at 
Lily as she continued to play.  Scully entered the room and 
startled him.

"Mulder what are you doing?" she asked with a smile.

"Oh, I was just giving her a bath for you.  We're just finishing 
up," he said, pulling her out of the tub and reaching for a towel.

Scully shook her head at him-  he never ceased to amaze her.  
These past few weeks, she had seen sides of her partner she never 
would've guessed existed.  "Mulder you didn't have--"  The phone 
rang out and Scully went to answer it.  "Be careful," she called to 
him, "she's quick."

Unfortunately, her advice went unheeded;  as Scully stood beside 
the couch trying to get off the phone with a persistent 
telemarketer, Lily ran into the room, still stark-naked.  Mulder 
chased behind her with the towel.  Scully hung up the phone and 
watched as Lily streaked through the room, emitting a steadily 
escalating squeal as Mulder descended on her and secured her in 
the towel.  

Scully's smile widened;  she was just too coordinated for her age.  
Obviously, she was destined to be the tomboy her mother had 
been.  "I warned you."

Returning a rueful smile, Mulder threw her playfully over his 
shoulder and headed back into the bathroom.

Once Lily had been tucked into bed, Mulder came out of the 
bedroom and into the kitchen.  Scully was straightening up.  
Mulder stood in the middle of the room and stuffed his hands in 
his pockets.  "She's all set."

Scully turned around to face him.  It suddenly seemed deadly 
silent in the kitchen.  "Thanks."  Smiling back, he stood there 
looking like he had more to say, and Scully got the impression he 
didn't want to leave just yet.  "You want to watch a movie?"

The corner of his mouth turned up as he walked over to her.  
Standing close, he watched her for a moment with a playful look 
in his eyes.  "What kind of movie?" he asked lowly.

Damn him; he loved to unnerved her like that.  She swallowed, 
kept her cool.  "Sorry to disappoint you, Mulder, but I'm afraid 
most of Lily's selections are of the 'G' variety."

He grinned at her.  "Got any popcorn?"

Assuming that was a "yes", she smiled back and turned toward the 
counter.  She reached for one of the cupboards.

Mulder watched her, and thought once again how much she and 
Lily looked alike.  Lily, that little girl with bright eyes and her 
mother's stubborn streak.  That little girl who had called him 
Daddy.  He suddenly felt anxious, almost restless.  "Actually, 
Scully, I think I'm going to go;  but thanks anyway."

"Oh... okay."  She watched him gather his things.

"I've got some things at home I want to do."

She nodded and watched him go.

*******************

Mulder spent the next few days consumed with his thoughts.  He 
stayed away from Scully during those days, except at work.  He 
tossed and turned throughout the night.  That single word Lily 
had uttered had positively terrified him.  Why?  Maybe because a 
father is something he never thought he'd be.  Ever.  Not that he 
was now;  but that little girl thought he was.  Why wouldn't she?  
He was always around, they were always together... how many 
people had mistaken he and Scully for husband and wife during 
the course of their partnership?  Why should Lily be any different?  
It wasn't that the thought of fatherhood was repulsive to him; on 
the contrary, it was just one of those things that he thought was 
reserved for other people.  He couldn't even imagine himself being 
married, finding someone who would want to marry him.  For one 
thing, they'd have to be someone who put up with him for the rest 
of his life, his dark moods, his obsessive tendencies.  Someone 
who was intelligent and strong and not afraid to challenge him, 
but respecting him at the same time.  It never occurred to him that 
he had just described Dana Scully.  

And even if he did find someone like that... the idea of being a 
father was frightening.  He didn't think he had it in him, but then, 
Lily didn't seem to care...  so did he want to be a father to her?  
Yes, his instinct responded first.  Was that such a bad thing?  
Maybe being a father to Lily was the perfect arrangement... he 
could have that taste of fatherhood with out actually having to go 
through that whole first part-- skip finding a mother and go right 
to having a child.  He smiled at the thought.  Scully would love 
that, right?  Hey, mind if I borrow your kid?  No, it wasn't going 
to be like that.  If he was going to commit to this, it wasn't going 
to be on a trial basis.  He couldn't do that to Lily.  He would have 
to be in it for the long run.  And that was just fine.

Mulder entered his partner's apartment and smiled at the sight 
before him:  Scully was sacked out on the sofa, in spite of the 
blaring movie coming from the television.  He suspected she'd 
fallen asleep just minutes after tucking Lily in.  He opened the bag 
of fast food he was carrying as he went quietly to the couch, 
crouching down in front of her.  He waved a French fry under her 
nose.

She opened her eyes sleepily and looked at him.  "Mulder?"

"Hi.  Want some fries?"

Sitting up so he could take a seat beside her, Scully reached for 
the remote and silenced the TV.

"I brought you a late night snack,"  he said, reaching in and 
pulling two burgers from the bag.  He set them on the coffee table 
in front of them.  "Hungry?"

"Yeah actually I am."  She reached for her soda.  "Thanks."

They were quiet for a while, which wasn't really so unusual, but 
she knew something was on her partner's mind... she just couldn't 
figure out what.

"So Scully have you thought about Lily's birthday?"

Maybe she was about to find out.  "Birthday?"

"Yeah.  Are you going to give her one?"

She hadn't really given it any thought, but he was right, and she 
felt a pang of guilt at not having thought of it first.

"I have an idea."

She looked at him curiously.

"September twenty-eighth."

"Why, what's the significance of that?"

He passed a napkin over his mouth.  After a second, he looked 
back at her.  "It was the day you were returned to me."

She tilted her head to the side slightly as she watched him, 
sometimes he touched her so deeply that it took every ounce of self 
control not to reach out and hug him.  "Mulder..."  she started, but 
couldn't find the words.

"And there's something else I've been wanting to talk to you 
about."

"What is it?"

"Lily... she thinks... she called me Daddy the other day."

Her eyes widened.  "Oh God, Mulder-- I'm sure she didn't... she 
just doesn't know."  She started to ramble.  "We just got this new 
picture book about families, and anyway we've been going through 
it, she generalizes, you know, I'm sorry, I'll work on your name 
with her--"

"No you don't understand-- it's all right.  I didn't mind."  He 
paused, staring at her intently.  "I don't mind."

She watched him curiously.  Slowly, she realized what he was 
saying.  "Mulder...  I can't let you--"

"This is not a decision I made lightly, Scully.  I've given it a lot of 
thought.  She's such a great kid; she deserves that from me.  I 
want to be there for her.  I want to be a father to her, I want to go 
to all those recitals and soccer games--"

Scully smiled at him.  "Soccer?"

He smiled at his hands.  "Hey I have big plans for her."  His face 
turned more serious as he turned to face her.  "God knows I didn't 
have the perfect paternal role model, Scully; but if you'll let me, 
I'll do my best for Lily."

Her tone was soft and serious.  "Mulder... what are you going to 
do if you get married, have a family of your own someday?  If I 
do?"

"If you do, then I hope you'll always let me be a part of her life."

"And you?"

"Well my dance card is pretty light at the moment," he joked, "I 
don't see that happening anytime soon.  But it doesn't matter; 
when and if I do, I'll always consider Lily my first."

Her eyes filled with tears, and she loved him so much she thought 
her heart would explode.

*******************************

Mulder had volunteered to keep an eye on Lily while Scully 
grabbed a quick shower.  As she was getting out of the tub and 
reaching for her robe, she could hear Lily laughing joyously, 
almost uncontrollably, and she stole out into the living area.

Mulder was sitting on the floor, Lily was standing just in front of 
him with her arm outstretched to him.  Mulder had her hand 
pressed against his lips, blowing against her palm to make 
indiscreet noises.

A wide smile appeared on Scully's face as she watched.  "Having 
fun?"

He looked up quickly, and Scully could see that he was 
embarrassed... but that quickly faded off his face and he took on 
an expression she couldn't quite put her finger on.

Mulder watched her standing there, still wet from her shower, her 
hair piled on top of her head with damp tendrils clinging to her 
neck, in just that robe... and it did things to him he never would've 
imagined.  He swallowed and stood.  "Well I'm gonna take off 
now."

Scully was surprised by his sudden announcement of departure.  
"Oh... well thanks again."

He walked over and stood before her.  Scully looked up at him 
expectantly, and she suddenly had the strangest sense that he was 
going to kiss her.  But he didn't.  Smiling mischievously, he 
carefully took hold of the collar of her robe and pulled it together;  
she was by no means exposed, his gesture was meant only to tease 
her.  And that it did.  He hesitated, and Scully could feel the color 
burning in her cheeks at his touch, even through that thick terry 
cloth.  He leaned in slightly.  "Bye."

He released her, and it was a moment before she could manage a 
response.  "Bye."

Scully watched him as he reached for his coat.  "Actually-- 
do you think you'd mind staying just a few more minutes while I 
change?"

"Sure, take your time."  He was glad for an excuse to delay going 
home to his empty apartment.

"Great."  She disappeared into her bedroom and closed the door.

Mulder looked back at Lily.  She was looking at him expectantly, 
like she was counting on him to do something spectacular.  Lily 
loved music, it didn't matter what kind, and Scully kept the radio 
on for her until she could go buy one of those tape recorders they 
made for kids.  Right now the radio was tuned to an oldies station, 
and The King was singing about his Blue Suede Shoes.  Mulder 
motioned to Lily.  "Come here, Lily."

She stood and approached him.

"Come here, stand on my feet."  He took her hands and steadied 
her as she placed her bare feet on the tops of his shoes.  "You 
wanna dance with me?"

She cocked her neck all the way back to look up at him and 
nodded.

Mulder carefully started stepping slowly from side to side and 
then back, holding her hands securely in his.

Lily grinned up at him.

"Hey see that, you're dancing."

"Dancin'," she echoed.

The song was just finishing when Scully came back into the room 
in her jeans and a comfortable shirt, her hair brushed and casual 
around her face.  She stopped short at the sight before her.

Once again that chagrined look on Mulder's face as he helped Lily 
off his feet.

"Dancin'."

Scully smiled at Lily.  "So I see."  She looked back at Mulder.  "I 
didn't know you danced, Mulder," she teased.

Evidently, she'd forgotten about walking in on him and Phoebe 
that time in Boston; and he wasn't going to remind her.  His smile 
was mischievous as he approached.  "I do," he said, hooking an 
arm around her waist and pulling her to him.

Scully stiffened in surprise, then gasped as he dipped her.  Their 
faces were close as they smiled at each other.  Mulder 
straightened, pulling her back up, still holding one hand out to his 
left.  The other rested on her back.  Their eyes held.  Mulder let 
his head fall forward slightly, resting his cheek against her 
temple, and started to rock with her.  Slowly, she relaxed in his 
arms.

Sitting slumped back amidst the pillows on the couch, Lily rested 
her head on her hand.  She watched mesmerized, as if one of her 
story books had come to life and the Prince and Princess were 
sharing a dance at the Ball.

Scully closed her eyes and let him lead her gently, swaying back 
and forth as Aretha Franklin serenaded them with her slow, 
soulful ballad...

Ain't no way for me to love you
if you won't let me
Ain't no way for me to give you all you need
if you won't let me give all of me

Their bodies moved gently against each other as they danced and 
the slow-burn fire that had long-since ignited between them was 
fueled by the closeness, the motion.  Mulder turned his face into 
her hair.  She smelled so good.

But how can I how can I how can I
give you all the things I can
if you're tying both of my hands?
And if you need me to love you
say, say that you do
please please please
don't you know that I need you?

By the time they finished their dance Mulder's head was spinning 
and he was having a hard time getting the signal from his brain to 
his arms to let go of her.

Scully's legs were unsteady as they slowed then stopped their 
movement and she was glad he didn't release her right away.

They pulled back slightly, staring at each other.

"Well I better go," Mulder said, finally releasing her.  The spot 
she had occupied was a cold vacuum in her absence.  

Their eyes held, and after a moment, Scully straightened.  "All 
right, I've got to get her ready for bed anyway."

"Not sleepy,"  Lily assured her.

Scully crouched down and smiled at her. "Not sleepy?  You just 
want to dance with me now, don't you?"

Mulder watched as Scully picked her up and spun her around 
once, and his partner's face was filled with a joy he had never 
seen.  He had admitted to himself that he'd quickly grown to love 
Lily, but as he watched the two of them now, it was in that second 
that he realized he had fallen in love with her mother.

***************************

It had probably started long before then, but it hadn't really hit 
him until that single instant when she smiled at her daughter and 
the pure happiness there filled his heart. What the hell was 
happening?  How was he going to stop it?  And most 
importantly... did he want to?  Lily had changed everything, 
brought he and Scully together on a new level... one that was 
much more personal.  She'd shifted their worlds around like plate 
tectonics, and suddenly their entire focus was different.  She made 
him feel like nothing else in the world was as important; and 
every second he spent with her chipped away a little bit more of 
his disillusionment and cynicism at this world.  That little girl had 
completely stolen his heart... and her mother had had it for a long 
time.  Then, he could see clearly what he wanted:  them-- Dana 
Scully and her daughter.  And the strangest thing was, that wasn't 
such a scary thing at all.

Scully sat on the floor in front of the couch with Lily in her lap.  
She opened the new book her mom had just bought for Lily as the 
little girl waited excitedly.  The first page showed a colorful 
picture of the world, with child-like drawings of children of 
various ethnic backgrounds holding hands around the 
circumference.

Lily smiled and pointed at the picture.  "Earth."

A chill darted up Scully's spine.  "How did you know that, Lily?"

"Kids playin'," she said, running her finger over the children in 
the picture.  "You turn page please?"

Scully obliged her, but her brows drew together in concern as she 
did.  Of course, she could've easily have learned that word on 
Sesame Street... but Scully had the feeling that there were just 
things about her daughter she may never know.

When they'd finished the book, Scully helped Lily make a bridge 
from blocks.  Lily was quiet, and Scully was left to her thoughts.  
They were, of course, with Mulder... with what had been 
happening between them.  Lily had filled a strange void in her 
life, one she hadn't even known existed, but at the same time, she 
never felt more lonely... and maybe that was exactly why she was 
feeling this way about Mulder.  He probably wasn't even aware of 
what was happening; here he was being wonderful and supportive 
and she was lusting after the poor guy.  She sighed inwardly and 
tried to focus on the task at hand.

A soft knocking on the door interrupted their construction project 
and Scully got up to answer it.

Mulder displayed a file as he stood in her doorway and offered an 
unsure smile.  "Can I run some things by you?"

"Of course, come on in.  It's almost Lily's bed time anyway."

The little girl came running over to him with outstretched arms, 
her face lit up like a Christmas tree;  she wasn't expecting a toy, 
they'd long since nixed that particular ritual, she was simply 
thrilled to see her favorite "guy".

Mulder brought her up into his arms and gave her a hug before 
setting her back on the floor.

She looked up at him expectantly.  "Playground?"

"Sure, you drivin'?"

Lily smiled, knowing she was being teased, and placed her hands 
on her hips.  "Settle down now," she mimicked in the exact tone 
she'd heard her mother use on several occasions.

Scully smiled and rested a hand on her head.  "That's my girl.  
You tell him."

Mulder smiled back at her, then their faces grew more solemn.

"You wanted me to look at those files?"

Lily sat on the couch watching one of her videos while Mulder 
and Scully sat at the desk behind her going over the files.  She had 
been stubborn about going to bed, Lily always hated to go to sleep 
when Mulder was there, so they'd set her up on the couch, 
knowing in a matter of minutes she'd be out anyway.  The room 
was dark except for the light by the computer where they worked 
and that coming from the TV.  It got late, and they eventually 
decided to call it quits for the night.  Scully realized the video Lily 
had been watching was long since over.  She got up from her 
chair, and Mulder followed her over to the couch.  They looked 
over the back of the sofa at Lily.  She was sound asleep.  They 
watched her for a moment.

"She looks so much like you," Mulder whispered.

"Uh," she grunted softly.  "Poor thing," she joked.

"What?  I'm serious... she's going to be beautiful."

Scully looked up at him, their eyes held.  "Well," she cleared her 
throat and started to lean over the couch, "I better get her to bed."

Mulder stopped her by laying an arm over hers.

She froze.

"Why don't you leave her here for a while?" he whispered, and 
when she looked up at him, his face was intense with... she didn't 
know.  Was she misreading him again?  She straightened and 
stared at him.  He probably had just changed his mind and had a 
few more things he wanted to run by her about the files.  "Well 
I'm going to get her another blanket."  Scully didn't hear Mulder 
follow her into the bedroom, so she was startled to see him 
standing in the doorway when she turned around.  There was no 
mistaking the look in his eyes now.

Mulder watched her in the moonlight, and his heart was pounding 
in his chest.  He closed the door most of the way, leaving it open a 
few inches to be able to hear Lily if she woke up.  Walking over 
until he was standing very close to her, he held her face lightly.

Her skin started to tingle, the only thing she was aware of was 
broad shoulders and the smell of warm skin.  "Mulder..."

"What?"  he said, daring her to resist him.

She had quite suddenly lost her grasp of the English language and 
could not answer.

Taking a step closer, their bodies touched gently, and he lightly 
brushed his lips across her open mouth.  A small noise escaped 
her as he did so, and then he kissed her upper lip, then her bottom 
one, and she was left thirsting for the full feel of his kiss, of his 
mouth against hers.  And then he obliged her, pressing his mouth 
squarely against her, his tongue slipped between her lips and the 
desire shot through her lower half; she drew her arms up around 
his neck and held him tightly.

He lay her back on the bed, and she could feel his hands moving 
over her, sliding underneath her clothes, the pure arousal of his 
gentle, hungry kiss.

They worked steadily at each other's clothes, but were still 
partially dressed when their bodies came together at last.  He was 
so completely turned on by the emotional experience that the sex 
seemed merely his body's afterthought.  It was the culmination of 
the three years of intellectual intercourse they'd been engaging in, 
and it was more than a simple biological act;  it was an 
expression, a growth of their friendship and love.  "You're so 
beautiful..." he whispered to her, "I've wanted you for so long..."  

As he moved on top of her, he suddenly had this image of her... of 
his cool and professional partner, and he couldn't believe this was 
actually happening.  He slowed momentarily, and her eyes opened 
to look at him.  Their gaze held.  And through the all the passion 
and desire, two friends smiled at each other, because they were 
happy, because they were making each other feel so good, because 
they had everything in the world that they could want.

As they neared the end, her breathing became louder, more 
labored.  "Sh-sh..." he whispered through their kisses, not wanting 
to wake Lily.  But she was losing it, so Mulder put his mouth over 
hers, kissing her deeply as he swallowed the sounds of pleasure 
that escaped her.  A few seconds later, his own was lost 
somewhere in her neck.

When it was over, they held each other tightly, kissing, caressing 
each other; the love was powerful between them.  And though 
they couldn't say it, the words were locked in that embrace.  Soon, 
their kisses and caresses became more hungry, more passionate, 
and they made their way to each other again, and again; they 
couldn't get enough of each other, and it was very late before they 
found sleep.

Later in the night, Mulder got up from bed, and, slipping on his 
boxers, went out to get Lily off the couch.  They hadn't intended 
on falling asleep, but sheer physical exhaustion had denied them 
any say in the matter.  So in a moment of panic Mulder jolted 
from sleep, remembering she was sleeping out there.  She was 
curled up on the couch, snuggled up to one of the pillows.  Mulder 
smiled and gathered her into his arms;  always amazed at how 
small she was.  "Not sleepy Daddy," she mumbled from 
somewhere in her dream state.  Mulder's smile widened.  Once 
she was settled back in her bed and he'd secured the safety bar, 
Mulder slid back into bed.  Scully was sleeping on her side, facing 
him.  He pulled her to him and kissed her softly.  She responded 
to him, kissing him back though still half asleep and he wanted 
more than anything to roll her over and have her once more... but 
not with Lily in the room.  He took a deep breath and hugged her 
close, willing the sleep to find him.  First thing in the morning, 
they were going to have to start looking for a two-bedroom 
apartment.

End                                                                                                                                                
                                                                                                        

**************************************************************
Kelli Rocherolle/kelli@edgenet.net/kelli176@delphi.com
                  http://www3.edgenet.net/~kelli
                                LGW #29                           
                          TRUST NO ONE


The Offspring 2 by Kelli Rocherolle
kelli@edgenet.net

To those who read the first one:  don't tell me you didn't see this 
coming!  ;-) Angst, minor season three references to Apocrypha, 
Quagmire and Paperclip... oh, and it's a cliffhanger :-) The final 
segment will be out in the next week or so.  Thanks for your 
patience!

*The following story is based on characters copyrighted by Ten 
*Thirteen Productions, created by The Man, Chris Carter, and 
*who are the property of the Fox network and are used without 
*permission. No infringement intended.


*******************************

The Offspring 2:  Without a Trace

The day's first delicate rays of sunshine filtered through sheer 
white curtains and filled the bedroom with a warm hazy glow.  
Mulder opened his eyes to find he was looking directly into Lily's.  
Evidently, she had mastered the art of scaling her bed's safety 
guard.  She watched him.

Mulder smiled at her.

"You sleep over."

"Yeah I did..."  Mulder glanced over at Scully, who was still 
sleeping soundly.  Sometime during the night she had slipped on 
her nightshirt.  He turned back to Lily.  "I  uh..."  he looked at 
her, at those innocent eyes... and he suddenly felt extremely guilty 
about the unspeakable things he'd done to her mother the night 
before. "I got really tired and fell asleep."

That answer seemed to satisfy her;  she pulled herself onto the bed 
and crawled over him to get to Scully.  "Time wake up, Mommy."

Scully smiled drowsily and pulled her closer, taking in her warm 
and sleepy scent.  Lily snuggled up to her.

"Does she always get up this early?"

Scully finally opened her eyes and looked at him over Lily's 
shoulder.  "I haven't used my alarm clock in months."

Lily maneuvered over Scully and slid off the bed.  She ran into the 
living area, her bare, chubby feet slapping against hardwood 
floors as she went.  "Fruit Loops!" she yelled excitedly as her 
voice disappeared into the kitchen.

"Settle down, Lily, I'll be right there," Scully called to her.  She 
looked up at Mulder.

"Fruit Loops?  You don't really let her eat that stuff, do you, 
Scully?"

Her mouth curled up slightly: she was guilty.  There was no 
telling what Lily's life had been like before she was returned;  and 
because of that, Scully had to admit, she had a tendency to want to 
give her everything her heart desired now.

Mulder rolled over and brought her into his arms, suddenly 
finding Lily's breakfast habits were the farthest thing from his 
mind.  "Hi," he said, leaning in to kiss her.

"Hi."

His smile was boyish.  "I had fun last night."

"Me too."

"I think I used muscles I never knew I had..."

She suppressed a laugh.

Mulder pulled her closer and drew her into a lingering kiss, 
letting his hands run down over the smooth fabric of her 
nightshirt.  He rolled on top of her, and she could feel the desire 
rising in him.  "I want you," he whispered between kisses.

"Mulder..."  she whispered back.  And she wanted him more than 
anything.

With a quick groan of frustration he rolled off of her.  He ran a 
hand through his hair and looked back over at her.  "Okay, why 
don't you go get her some breakfast.  I'll go take a shower."

The look in her eyes was playful.  "May I suggest a cold one?"

"They don't make water that cold, Scully," he said with a smile.

She gave a short, quick laugh, the gem that she seemed to so 
rarely bestow on him and it widened his own grin.  She got up and 
headed for the living area.  Lily was standing in front of the TV, 
watching a cartoon with wide-eyed interest.  The program flipped 
to commercial and an advertisement for the very thing Lily had 
requested only moments ago appeared on the screen.

Lily pointed at it and looked back at Scully with awe and delight.  
"Loops," she said. 

Scully came up behind her and brought her into her arms, holding 
her several feet above the floor.  She pressed her cheek against the 
little girl's.  "Lily you're not hungry are you?"

"Hungry," she agreed, then clasped her hands in front of her in 
anticipation.  "Down please."

Scully smiled.  "Down?"

Lily squirmed excitedly in Scully's arm.  "Yes!"  she laughed, "I 
go down now."

Mulder came into the room pulling his tee-shirt on, still in his 
boxers.

Lily outstretched her arms to him.  "Help help!"

Smiling, Mulder rested his hands on his hips and teased:  "You're 
on your own, kid."

Lily shrieked gleefully as Scully shifted her until she was holding 
her above her head.

Mulder took pity on the little girl and approached them, easily 
lifting Lily out of the hands of the petite woman who'd been 
holding her.

"Hey..."  Scully complained as Lily was essentially air-lifted from 
her grasp.

The child's eyes were bright with excitement;  she looked down at 
her mother expectantly.

Scully smiled and tried to reach up to her.  "I'm gonna get you, 
Lily!"

Her laughter escalated as Mulder held her higher above his head, 
out of Scully's reach.  Lily had that infectious, joyous laughter and 
Mulder couldn't help but smile.

Suddenly, the three of them turned their heads in unison toward 
the door:  keys were turning in the lock.

Her eyes wide with panic, Scully turned to look at Mulder.  "My 
mother..."

Mulder quickly handed the little girl to Scully and went back into 
the bedroom. He grabbed for his trousers and shirt and ducked 
into the bathroom.

Scully met her mom at the door as she was entering.  "Hi, you're 
early."

"Well I figured you'd be up.  Where's my girl?"  She smiled 
brightly as Lily came running to greet her.  "Hello, sweetheart," 
she said as she reached down to hug her.  Straightening, Maggie 
suddenly realized her daughter was still in her nightshirt.  "Dana 
why aren't you dressed?  Aren't you going in to work today?"

"No I think I'm going to take the day off today."

"Why what's wrong?"  She reached out a hand and gently touched 
her forehead.  "Are you feeling okay?"

"I'm fine, Mom-- really.  I just didn't get to sleep until late last 
night; I'm tired."

"Sleeped over here," Lily contributed.

"Lily," Scully said quickly, "why don't you go get your new book-- 
you can show it to us, okay?"

She headed off for the bedroom.  "Kittens, mittens," she said, 
indicating the subject matter of her book.

Maggie turned back to her daughter.  "Well then, if you don't need 
me I'll go."

"Actually, maybe you could take Lily to the playground?  I 
promised her and I'm not really feeling up to it.  It would be nice 
to have a few hours to myself."

Maggie eyed her uncertainly.  "Are you sure you're all right?  
Your cheeks are rosy, Dana; have you taken your temperature?  
Maybe you have a fever.  You don't want to give anything to Lily--
"

"I'm fine," Scully assured her.

The two women stared at each other.  Maggie got the distinct 
impression her daughter was trying to get rid of her.

Scully started to sweat under the scope of her mother's dubious 
gaze.  "Well I'll go get Lily dressed,"  she said, disappearing into 
the bedroom.  She scooped up Lily as she was on her way back out 
with the book. "Judas,"  Scully joked, picking her up and holding 
her upside down.

Lily laughed.

"You want to go to the playground with Grandma?"

She nodded from her upside-down position.

Scully shifted her upright and set her back on the floor.  They 
shared a smile before Scully turned toward the dresser and pulled 
out some clothes.  Lily refused to wear dresses, her little jeans and 
a T-shirt being her favorite ensemble, and Scully conceded... she 
never liked dressing up either when she was a kid.  And besides, 
she was planning on saving that particular battle for when 
Christmas came around and she wanted Lily to wear something 
nice.  So she helped her slip on a dark green shirt and, after 
steadying her as she stepped into them, clipped her overalls 
fastened over it.

They headed back out to the living area.  "There's not much to eat 
in the house,"  Scully said as she helped Lily with her sneakers.  
"I'm going to do some shopping this morning.  Could you take her 
to get something to eat on the way?"

"Sure."

Scully stood.  "Great.  Well I'll see you two later then."

Lily headed towards the door.

"Hey you," Scully crouched down and indicated her cheek, "kiss."

Lily turned back around and went to Scully, her mouth pre-
puckered in preparation for the kiss she was about to give.

Scully smiled and kissed her good-bye.  Once they'd left, she 
turned back around and hurried for the bedroom.

Mulder was standing in the middle of the room, dressed but his 
shirt unbuttoned.  "Coast clear?"

She nodded at him.  "I hope Lily doesn't say anything to her 
before I get a chance to."

They stared at each other in the bright room, the ridiculous noise 
of cartoons from the other room accentuating their awkward 
moment:  they were both still a little uncomfortable around each 
other when it came to this particular aspect of their relationship.

After a moment, Scully closed the door and walked slowly over to 
him.  She stood on her tip-toes and kissed him lightly.

The desire immediately encompassed him, and his arms came 
around her.  He pulled her tightly against him as the blood started 
to move more quickly through his veins, every thought and feeling 
from the previous night washed through his memory and quickly 
drown him in their sensation.  "Scully..." he whispered, backing 
her towards the bed.  He fell with her on top of it and thought how 
naturally it came to be with her... They made love again.

Afterwards, Mulder sat up and once more reached for his trousers.

"What are you doing?"

"I'm going to get a paper."

"A paper?...  *Now*?"

He turned slightly to look at her.  "We need to start looking for a 
bigger place."

*******************************

Bigger turned out to be a comfortable two bedroom near DuPont 
Circle.  It was the perfect size for the three of them, and because it 
was located on the first floor, they enjoyed the luxury of a small, 
private courtyard where Lily could play.

Mulder walked down the hall to the kitchen to see what that noise 
was.  They'd been in their new apartment for almost a month, but 
they were still settling in, boxes in various stages of unpacking 
were littered through the apartment.  So they'd planned to take the 
day and finish up.  Mulder had been in the other room working on 
a box of miscellaneous items when he heard rustling in the 
kitchen.  Scully had gone out to get some lunch makings, so that 
meant his little mischief maker was probably getting into 
something again.

He was right.  When he got into the kitchen, Lily was standing 
beside a box.  Ever the little explorer, she had decided to 
investigate one of the cartons to see what its contents were.  She 
had opened it to find one of the favorite dolls she'd been looking 
for since the move, but one of the doll's legs was popped out.  She 
displayed the amputee to Mulder.  "Baby broken," she said 
miserably.

That night during the Pfaster investigation when he held Scully 
after she broke down in his arms, Mulder thought he'd felt it; but 
as he looked at Lily now, he knew that for the first time he was 
truly experiencing what it felt like when your heart crumbled.  He 
went to her and knelt down.  "It's all right," he said gently, "You 
came to the right guy, know why?"

She shook her head at him.

"This just happens to be a specialty of mine; I had a little sister 
and I used to do this for her a lot.  Here, lemme see..."  he said, 
taking the doll from her.  He glanced up at Lily; she was looking 
at him with complete confidence. 

Mulder swallowed.  There was no way he was going to let that 
little girl down.  But it was easier said than done, the leg slipped 
around the open socket but refused to slide into it.  Mulder applied 
more force-- he was an FBI agent, in top physical condition, an 
Oxford educated psychologist and top criminal profiler--he would 
not be beaten by a plastic leg.  The disembodied limb skimmed 
past the opening and the sharp plastic edge raked across the back 
of his hand.  "Dammit!" he hissed, then looked self-consciously 
back up at Lily.  "Sorry-- hold on..."  Mulder was learning that 
fatherhood did not come easily to him, that it was a challenge.  
And though he figured that it was something everyone had to 
work at, he couldn't help but think he was having particular 
difficulty.  He tried the leg once more.  Finally, it snapped into 
place.  He smiled and held the doll out to her.  "See?  What'd I tell 
ya?"

Lily took the toy from him and passed the back of her hand over 
her eyes.  "Thank you Daddy," she said.

Mulder smiled at her.

She reached out and hugged him, and it was the most wonderful 
feeling in the world.

*****************************

Later that night, Lily lay in bed playing with her stuffed bear.  
Only the soft glow from the fish tank they'd moved from Mulder's 
apartment illuminated the room.  She held up Bear over her head 
as she rested back against the pillows.  "Mommy brush Lily teeth.  
Mommy.  You too, Bear."  After bouncing him up and down on 
her stomach several times, she settled Bear beside her.  "You 
sleepy.  'Night... sleep tight... no bugs bite..."  She turned her head 
toward the fish tank that was now hers and watched it for a 
minute.  "Fish swimin'."

A sudden noise startled her, and Lily sat up in bed as familiar 
reddish-orange strobing lights began to pulse outside her bedroom 
window.  She tilted her head to the side and watched as her 
window silently slid open and an unnatural breeze began to blow 
around her room.  She clutched her teddy bear closer.  Her hair 
blew wildly around her face as she hopped off the bed.  She gave 
one quick, defiant "No!" before turning and scooting under her 
small bed until just her pyjama-clad feet were sticking out--

Scully sat up straight in bed, drenched in sweat, terrified from her 
vivid nightmare.  The abruptness of her movements caused 
Mulder to wake up almost simultaneously; he reached out and 
grabbed her wrist as she started to bolt from the bed.  "Scully 
what's--"

She yanked her wrist free and stumbled out of the room and into 
the hallway.  Turning to look to the end of the hall where Lily's 
bedroom was, an overwhelming sense of vertigo came over her, 
and suddenly the hallway seemed to stretch to twice its length.  
"Lily," she whispered, and started for her door.  Her legs felt like 
rubber, but she managed to gain momentum and run down to her 
room, throwing open the door.

It looked like a hurricane had blown through her room and left a 
scattering of toys in its wake.  Lily's bed was empty.  She was 
gone.

****************************

"How could they do this to me?"  Scully's voice was tight with 
despair and outrage.  "How could they?  Why would they give her 
back to me just to take her away again?  How could they be so 
cruel?"  The tears were streaming down her face as she turned to 
look at Mulder, and she could see he was no less effected.  They 
sat on the couch, barely cognizant of the forensic unit that was 
further ransacking the child's room down the hallway.  Scully 
leaned forward, her hands clasped in front of her, her eyes red 
with exhaustion and sadness.  Mulder sat beside her, one arm 
draped across her shoulders.  The other he placed comfortingly 
over her hands.

She leaned into his chest, her face seeking the warmth of his neck.  
Scully knew there would be no clues left behind, no fingerprints, 
no footprints outside the window, no trace of Lily... and she was 
right.  A solemn-faced detective approached them several hours 
later and informed them that they had found nothing, that she 
appeared to have vanished without a trace.  It was as if she never 
existed.

A week went by.

They'd found out that virtually all of the children returned that 
night had disappeared again-- all the same night from locations 
up and down the eastern seaboard.  Bewildered local authorities 
were left with no clues to the missing children's whereabouts.  

Scully was sure her heart was so broken it was beyond repair.  She 
could barely stand the pain, the aching of her very being that she 
could only describe as making her feel as if she were missing a 
limb.  She was sick at the thought of what might be happening to 
her baby, where she might be.  She thought about it constantly, 
and tonight was no different;  as they sat in silence on the couch 
retracing the vague, less-than-encouraging leads they were 
working on, Scully's thoughts were far away.  She stared at the list 
of some of the girl's names and thought how cute it was that they'd 
named each other after flowers:  Rose, Violet, Daisy... and of 
course, her Lily.

Mulder watched her.  After a second, he reached over and gave 
her hand a gentle squeeze.

"I'm just..." Scully looked over at him and tried to offer a smile in 
appreciation.  "You know, thinking about her."

He nodded in understanding.

"I just keep wondering..." her voice grew thick, and Mulder could 
see the tears welling in her eyes as he studied her profile, "Is she 
scared?"

"Scully--"

"Is that why she hated going to sleep at night, because she 
somehow knew this was going to happen? And I wonder... did she 
get to know me enough to miss me?"  Her voice broke at the last 
word and she brought a hand up to cover her face.

"Scully... look at me."

She complied, regarding him with huge, sad eyes.

"We'll find her," he said reassuringly.  Turning back to the coffee 
table in front of them, he held his hands up over the files and 
nodded.  "We're going to find her," he said resolutely.  "It's too 
soon to give up."

She found little comfort in his words.

Another week went by.

Scully found herself struggling to keep her day to day routine, 
finding no motivation for even the most mundane of tasks.  Food 
bored her, and sleep seemed to sneak up on her only when her 
body could no longer offer any resistance.  She started shedding 
pounds as if they were petals from a dying flower and dark circles 
punctuated the sadness in her eyes.  As she sat on the bed now 
looking over some photos, she might have been wearing someone 
else's clothes-- they hung on her like rags on a scarecrow.

Kneeling beside the bed, his hands folded in front of his face, 
Mulder watched her with concern.  She scrutinized the photos in 
front of her, holding the pictures close to her face and turning 
them from side to side.  Her eyes passed over every inch of the 
photograph.

The Chinese food he'd made a special trip for in hopes of enticing 
her to eat remained untouched by her side.  Her mother had been 
by almost every day to bring her a meal with the same 
expectation, but she would only pick at the food.  "Scully will you 
*please* eat something."

She didn't appear to have heard him.

"We've been through those a hundred times."

Silence.

He lay a hand over hers as she continued to scan a photo.  
"Dana?" he tried softly.

"Mulder take a look at this," she said, placing the photograph 
before him on the bed's surface.  "Do you see something here?"  
She indicated a portion of the picture.

He glanced at the photo, having seen the same pictures over and 
over.  More than anything, he wanted to see something there, 
too... but there wasn't.  He eyed her carefully, then attempted to 
lighten her up.  "A tooth...?"

"I think I'll set this one aside and bring it in to Agent Pendrell 
tomorrow."

"Tomorrow's Sunday, Scully."

"I'm sure he'll be able to get me a clearer image."  She tucked a 
strand of hair behind her ear, and Mulder thought how it lacked 
the luster he had once loved so much;  he couldn't remember the 
last time he'd seen her wash it.

Mulder pulled himself onto the bed.  He sat behind her, curling 
his body around hers as she sat hunched over the photographs, 
and tucked his chin into her neck.  He held her.

She didn't seem to notice.

********************************

That night Mulder had a horrible dream.  He was awakened from 
sleep by a loud thud and got out of bed to go investigate.  The 
sound had come from Lily's room.  He crept down the hall and 
slowly opened the door to her room.  He was immediately aware 
that someone was in Lily's bed, moving under the covers.  His 
heart leapt to his throat.  Slowly, he approached the bed, then 
pulled back the covers.  A young girl several years older than Lily 
stared back at him.  She had pale blue eyes and long dark hair.  

Mulder turned back toward the open window.  "No..." he 
breathed.  His voice rose:  "You brought back the wrong one... 
wait!  You brought back the wrong one!"  He started at the feel of 
an icy cold hand on his arm and quickly turned back toward the 
bed.  

The girl was now sitting up.  Her ghostly face was wan and 
expressionless.  "Did they, Fox?"

Mulder woke abruptly, breathing heavily and his heart racing in 
his chest.  And he knew... he would give Samantha up if it meant 
getting Lily back; because getting Samantha back would be 
everything he ever wanted; but having Lily returned would bring 
Scully back to him.  

*********************************

Rain tapped lightly on the window and rolled lazily down the 
pane.  Scully watched the drops descend.  Next to her in the bed, 
Mulder shifted in his sleep.  She was exhausted with the 
monotony of running the same questions through her head over 
and over.  No answers would come.  They'd used all the resources 
available to them to try and get something, anything that might 
give them a lead to Lily's whereabouts, with no luck.  All they'd 
come up with was a few scant leads that she knew were destined 
for failure.  She was as certain of that as she had been that night 
Lily was taken that the nightmare she had was no dream.  
Strange, she thought, her mother had told her she'd had a similar 
dream the night she herself had been taken away... Her eyes 
dropped to the floor, and the waves of despair washed over 
whatever hope she had remaining.

A short time later, Scully slipped quietly from bed and went down 
to Lily's room.  She opened the door and entered.  The place was 
exactly how she'd left it that night; she hadn't been able to go in 
there since.  Toys were still strewn from wall to wall, Lily's bed 
was still unmade.  Scully picked up Bear from the floor just along 
side of the bed.  Her mouth curled into the slightest smile as she 
regarded him.  Looking up once again at the window, Scully 
listened to the gentle hiss of rain.  Like dim candlelight through a 
thick night fog, an idea came slowly to her;  and she wondered 
why she hadn't thought of it before.

*********************************

Mulder had kept his apartment for appearance's sake;  his 
inheritance from his father's estate had allowed them to do so.  
They were fairly sure their superiors had some idea about what 
was going on between them, and though the Bureau's current 
"don't ask, don't tell" policy afforded them some peace of mind, 
they didn't want to flaunt the fact.  Mulder hadn't been there in 
weeks, so the place felt stale and musty.  Scully stared at the room 
for a long time.  Was she doing the right thing?  Shaking the 
doubts from her mind, she went to Mulder's desk and opened the 
top drawer.  She pulled out the masking tape.

********************************

Scully paced in the bowels of the parking garage.  She couldn't 
even be sure this mysterious informant of Mulder's would show, 
but she had to try.  He had turned down her plea for help before, 
but he'd also helped her once, and she had to take the chance that 
he would help her now.  She turned toward the approaching sound 
of footsteps.

The man slowed at the sight of her, and for a moment Scully 
thought he was going to turn and leave without saying a word.  
But he didn't; he approached her slowly.  "Why is it that I feel like 
I was just set up on a blind date?"

"I need your help... you've helped Mulder before; you've helped 
me--"

"I know what you want.  You're partner already came to see me, 
and I told him what I'm going to tell you:  I can't help you."

"You can--"

"I'm not here to embark on your personal crusades, Agent Scully... 
yours or your partners."  He turned and walked towards the 
darkness.

"No wait... "

He continued to move away from her.

"Please!"

Scully stared after him and watched as he slithered back into the 
shadows.  The frustration coursed through her and brought tears 
to her eyes.  He knew.  Something.  Maybe not 
exactly where Lily was, but he had information--  she had seen it 
in his eyes.

On the way back to Mulder's apartment Scully considered her 
encounter with the nameless man.  She would try again, even if it 
meant risking her own life, because she had to know.  Even if Lily 
were...dead-- she needed to know.  A sudden rush of images 
assailed her-- lifeless trees against a gray sky, a biting wind 
carrying dry leaves through an old cemetery, a tiny white coffin 
being lowered into its earthly tomb...  Scully closed her eyes and 
pushed down those thoughts as she passed through the apartment 
building's doors.  No, she didn't really believe that.  They'd kept 
Lily alive for this long, she was sure they had a vested interest in 
keeping her that way.

Scully arrived at Mulder's door and entered the apartment.  She 
went to the window and peeled the masking tape X off the 
window.

"You don't look well, young lady."

Scully whirled around, sliding her weapon from her holster and 
displaying it in the direction the voice had come from in one 
smooth movement.

The well-manicured man Scully remembered from Mulder's 
father's funeral was standing in the shadows.  She kept her gun 
trained on him.  "What are you doing here?"

"I thought you might be interested in some information I have."

"Information?"

"Yes that's right.  I heard about what happened to your little girl.  
Terrible tragedy."

Scully lowered her gun, but only slightly.  "Where is she?"

"My you don't waste any time do you?  I'm afraid I can't tell you 
where she is."

"Why not?"

"Because I don't know... at least not exactly."

"Why, why was she taken?"

"My dear you're a scientist;  surely you can appreciate the 
statistical significance of longitudinal data."

Scully shook her head at him, her eyes blazing.  She forced the 
words out through anger.  "Lily is not data--"

"I wasn't referring to your daughter."

Scully's eyes widened at the implication:  he was talking about 
her.  But they'd been through this before-- that rainy afternoon in 
Klemper's greenhouse.  Somehow the ideas he proposed didn't 
seem as ridiculous as they had that day.  Scully swallowed.  "Are 
we talking about hybridization?"

"No.  Not in this case."

"Then what?  What can you tell me about the children's fathers?"

"That is something I do not wish to reveal at this time.  However, 
I do believe I might be of some assistance to you in this current 
matter."  He held out a piece of paper to her.

Scully carefully approached him and took the piece of paper.  She 
glanced at it before looking back at him.  "What is this?"

"A name."

"I can see that.  I need a location."

"I'm afraid I can't give you that.  What I can give you is a name.  
You find this man, you'll find your little girl.  He will lead you to 
her."

Scully eyed him suspiciously.  "Why are you helping me?"

"Why indeed..."  he stared at her for a moment, then turned and 
exited, leaving Scully staring after him in the dark apartment.  
She looked back down at the scrap of paper, and her heart was 
filled with a miraculous thing:  hope.

***************************

Mulder entered the apartment and shrugged off his coat.  It was 
late, and Scully hadn't come into work again today.  He'd been 
trying to hold things down on that end the best he could, but it 
wasn't easy and the late nights were exhausting him.  "Scully?"  
he called out into the apartment.

There was no response.

He tried again.  "Hey Scully you here?"  He pulled his tie free and 
loosened the collar.  Maybe she was sleeping;  he hoped so, she 
hadn't been getting much of that recently.  What was that beeping 
noise?  Mulder scanned the apartment in search of its source; 
since he entered, there had been a soft beeping noise in the 
background.  Then he realized what it was:  the computer-- he had 
an e-mail message waiting.  He sat at the desk and opened the 
message.  It was from Scully:

Mulder--  What could I possibly say to make you feel better about 
this?  It would kill me if you thought that you were anything less 
important to me than you are.  You changed my life, and I could 
never forget you.  I have to do this, and I have to do it myself-- 
you have your own battles to fight.  I know how important Lily 
was to you, but the bottom line is really that this is mine to take 
care of; that this is *my* war to wage.  I've spent far too long 
shying away from confronting what happened to me, from finding 
those responsible, and because of that I sacrificed almost three 
years of a life I could have known with my daughter.  I can't lose 
any more time with her.  I don't know what I might be up against, 
and I can't subject you to something that might endanger your life.  
I need to know you're here, and that you're safe.  That will keep 
me going.  I have to find her, whatever the cost... even if it costs 
me you.  I know how angry you'll be with me about this, Mulder; 
but I hope someday you'll come to understand, and even to forgive 
me.  I don't know anyone who has stronger beliefs than you do, 
Mulder.  Despite everything, you always believed that someday 
you would find your sister.  We *will* see each other again.  
Please-- have faith in that, too.  I love you.

Long after the screen saver had kicked in, Mulder sat alone in the 
silent apartment staring at the monitor.

**************************

"Where is she?"

Frohike stepped aside as Mulder breezed through the door and 
into the center of the room.  He looked over at Byers and Langley.

Mulder repeated his question.  "Where is she?"

Langley spoke up.  "She's not here."

"She was," Byers added.  "But we couldn't help her."

Mulder let out a long breath and sank into a nearby chair.

Frohike walked over to where Mulder sat and rested a hand on his 
shoulder.  "Sorry, dude."

**********************************

Mulder sat in his car beneath an underpass working on a bag of 
sunflower seeds.  It was late and the road above him was deserted.  
He glanced at his watch:  two-thirty a.m.  He'd spent the last few 
weeks sticking his nose in places he knew were guaranteed to 
direct some attention in his direction.  It had paid off:  earlier that 
evening he'd received an anonymous message to be in this 
location at two-fifteen.  He looked back at his watch:  two thirty 
two.  What the hell--

Bright head lights surfaced over the knoll behind him.  Mulder 
got out of the car and waited.

The car rolled to a stop and the man he'd been hoping to see 
emerged from inside.  He walked slowly toward Mulder until he 
was within a few feet from where he stood.

"How did you find me?" the well manicured man asked.

Mulder flashed him a wry smile.  "I knew if I did enough poking 
around in sensitive areas, eventually you'd find me."  He stepped 
closer.  "Where is she?"

"Would you be talking about your partner or her little girl?  Poor 
dear..."

Mulder detected the slightest bit of flippancy in the man's tone.  
His jaw tightened.  "You know I'm talking about Scully.  What did 
you tell her?"

"I'm afraid I don't know where she is; I gave her a lead to follow, 
but she was on her own from there."  He raised his eyebrows as he 
spoke, his tone was high with aloofness.  "No telling where she 
might be now."

They stared at each other for several seconds before Mulder spoke.  
"You sent her on a wild goose chase," he stated flatly.

"I gave her what she wanted:  hope.  Something to hold on to."

Mulder studied the gravel at his feet and shook his head.  He 
looked back up at the man with contempt.  "Why?  Why would 
you even bother?"

"You see my colleagues take their work very seriously;  they don't 
like people nosing around, getting too close.  As much as one 
might... appreciate the work that you and your partner do, it might 
also be necessary to distract you from time to time."

The thought of what he'd done to Scully, giving her false hope 
that would no doubt destroy her once she eventually hit that dead 
end...  And most infuriating, he'd sent her away from him-- for 
nothing.  And now he might never find her.  Mulder watched with 
frustration as the man retreated to his car and started the engine.    

Driving back to their apartment, Mulder's stomach burned with 
anxiety and dread.  It took every thing in him, but he would not 
allow himself to feel defeated; he would keep looking for her, 
however long it took.  He just hoped it would be before she hit that 
dead end.

*********************************

The months moved slowly on.

Scully spent her every waking hour tracking the one likely lead 
she had; the one she'd received from that man.  Despite the fact 
that she'd yet to find anything substantial, she felt pretty good.  
The hope had nourished her, filled her veins with strength, fueled 
her appetite.  She started to fill out her clothes again.  But as she 
passed through the motel's door and into the lobby now, she had 
to admit it sometimes wore on her, the endless searching.  Now 
she knew how Mulder felt all those years tracking his sister.  
Mulder... she tried not to think about him too much, but it was 
hard; she missed him terribly.  It was a lonely life.  Some nights 
she'd wake up and had to struggle to remember where she was, 
what town she was spending that particular night in.

She arrived at her room and entered, the thought of a warm bath 
and a little Chinese takeout foremost in her mind.  Closing the 
door behind her, she flipped on the lights and turned around.  She 
stopped short.

Mulder was sitting in the chair.

Scully swallowed and stared at him in shock; she was completely 
taken aback by his appearance.  His hair was hanging limp across 
his forehead, he was unshaven, and the stubble shadowed his jaw.  
He was wearing jeans, and his black leather jacket covered up the 
dark blue mock turtleneck shirt underneath.  One hand he rubbed 
absent-mindedly over his mouth as he tapped his foot restlessly on 
the floor.  She could see his jaw was clenched tight. 

Finally, he looked up at her, and the fury smoldered just beneath 
his eyes.  After a moment he stood.

"Mulder..."  she didn't know what to say.

"So tell me something Scully:  were you ever going to come 
back?"

"Mulder I'm sorry--"

"Answer me!" he yelled, picking up the remote off the table and 
flinging it across the room.

Scully flinched as it splintered against the far wall.  "Yes!  Listen 
to me--"

"You expect me to believe that now?  After all this time?" he 
yelled again.

"Would you please calm down?"

"I'm not gonna calm down!  How could you do this to me?!"

"Mulder--"

Scowling, he turned away from her.  He had spent the last few 
months not only searching for her, but also searching for his own 
patience... but understanding why she went away didn't do 
anything to quell his hurt and anger.

Scully watched him, not knowing what to do; it was so difficult to 
get through to him when he was like this.  She slowly walked over 
to him and reached out to touch his arm.

He pulled from her grasp and walked away, pacing restlessly in 
the center of the room.  Finally, he came to rest, his back to her.  
He stared at the door, and Scully could see it was taking all of his 
self-control to keep from demolishing her motel room.

"Mulder,"  Scully said, walking around him so that she was facing 
him, "Mulder..."  But he wouldn't look at her.  She swallowed and 
continued anyway.  "I tried to tell you--"

"I know what you told me," he seethed, his tone bitter, "I got your 
e-mail."

She placed her hands on her hips, her own anger starting to swell.  
"Don't get sanctimonious with me, Mulder.  When you ran off to 
Alaska--"

He finally looked at her.  "That was different, Scully."

"How?  How is that different?"

"Look, when we took our friendship that next step, that was a 
commitment; at least it was for me..."  his voice trailed off as he 
struggled for the words.  After a moment, he shook his head.  "I 
thought we meant more, Scully."

"I've *always* been committed to you Mulder.  Even before we 
got... 'involved' in that way.  That never changed for me. It didn't 
hurt any less because we weren't sleeping together."

Taking hold of her collar, he backed her into the door.  "I don't 
understand what you're saying to me Scully-- are you telling me 
this was some kind of act of revenge?"

"NO,"  the tears welled in her eyes, "no... I didn't know what else 
to do,  I just needed to find her.  I have to find her..."  she hung 
her head as the emotion overwhelmed her.

His voice softened.  "Scully, I can't..."  closing his eyes, he rested 
his forehead against hers and inhaled deeply, "I can't spend my 
life looking for you; it's been so hard trying to find her, it's taken 
so much away from me.  And now Lily... I can't lose you, too, 
Scully.  I can't..."  he shook his head against hers, "I can't 
understand..."  His voice seemed small and far away as he 
wrapped his arms around her, hugging her close.  The words were 
muffled at her neck:  "How could you leave me alone?"

And for the first time she realized the full impact her leaving had 
had on him:  Mulder had spent his life essentially alone, had 
grown used to it... until he met her.  When he'd tasted what it was 
like to really be one with someone, to have a true friend-- even 
before they'd taken it to a sexual level-- she had effectively 
rendered him incapable of being alone again.  "I'm sorry Mulder."  
She brought her arms up to embrace him.  "I'm so sorry."

"I don't want to be alone, Scully," he whispered, once again 
resting his forehead against hers.  He could feel the heat from her 
flushed face through the emotion there, and she was aware of the 
same from his.

"You're not, you're not I'm sorry..."

"Don't leave me alone."

"I won't; I promise.  I'm sorry."

He kissed her cheek; it was sticky with tears.

"I won't leave you."

His lips brushed the corner of her mouth.

"You're not alone," she whispered against his face.

Their lips touched lightly through salty tears.

Mulder let out a tremulous breath and pulled her closer as all 
those long nights he'd agonized through without her caught up to 
him.  "Scully..." he whispered.

"I missed you..."

He brought his lips back to hers, kissing her forcefully, pushing 
her hard against the door.  A tremendous conflict of emotion was 
warring inside him-- anger, desire, relief, and perhaps most 
pervasive, intense love.  His hands groped her roughly, 
ravenously, rediscovering all the places he'd longed to touch; they 
hadn't made love since the night Lily disappeared.  His hold on 
her against that door was tenuous at best, so he turned with her 
and headed for the bed.  They made their way to each other 
hastily; frenzied and desperate for the other, and found their 
rhythm quickly amidst the blankets and pillows.  He needed to 
have her, to be inside her, because when they were in that place, 
everything was as it should be...

******************************

Afterwards, they snuggled close in the bed, suspended between 
sleep and wake, enjoying all the sensations that made them feel as 
one-- their warmth, their scent, the gentle rhythm of their 
breathing.

"How did you find me?"  Scully asked sleepily as she lay curled on 
his chest.

She could hear the smile in his voice.  "I work for the FBI, 
Scully."

Smiling into the dim moonlight, she snuggled closer.  They were 
silent for several minutes.  Scully rolled over and pulled a piece of 
paper off the night stand before turning on the light.  She settled 
back against Mulder's shoulder and held up the paper.

"What's that?"

"I'm not sure.  I've been tracking this man, this name--"

"I know--"

"And then this morning this message was left for me at the front 
desk.  I did some checking; it's an abandoned underground facility 
just outside of town."

"Scully, there's something you should know:  that man, the one 
you went to see..." she shifted her head up to look at him, and as 
he stared into her eyes, the last thing in the world he wanted to do 
was be the one to tell her this.  He swallowed, knowing he was 
just going to have to spit it out.  "He sent you on a wild goose 
chase, Scully."

Her brows drew together.  "No... no that's not true, Mulder.  I've 
been tracking this name..."

He lay a hand on that beautiful face.  "Scully," he said gently, 
"they just wanted to distract you.  There's nothing to find."

She continued to regard him doubtfully.

"I'm sorry."

Staring at the piece of paper in her hands, she remained silent.

"Scully, come home with me, we'll start looking again--"

"No."

"No?"

She slid off the bed and started dressing.  "No," she repeated, 
louder this time.  "I'm going anyway, Mulder.  I have to."  Pulling 
her shoes on, she headed for the door.

Mulder reached up and grasped her wrist securely.

She turned to face him.

"I'm coming with you."

Their eyes held.  She could see there would be no discussion on 
the matter.

*******************************

The place was worse than the silos they'd wandered through in 
North Dakota-- pitch black and freezing cold.  They'd spent over 
an hour exploring the facility, with no luck.  Eventually, they 
came across an area that had several locked doors on either side of 
a seemingly endless tunnel of hallways.  Each door had a small 
glass window in the center, but it was nearly impossible to see 
through them.

Scully lagged behind as Mulder disappeared around a corner 
ahead of her.  She peered into the filthy glass, but all she could see 
was a warped portrait of her own reflection staring back at her. 
Scully jumped at the sound of a loud thump from further down the 
hall.  She shined her flashlight in front of her.  "Mulder?"  she 
called.  There was no response.  She took off down the corridor.  
Thinking the worst, she rounded the corner.  Mulder was lying on 
the floor clutching his stomach, trying to catch his breath.  Scully 
ran over and crouched down beside him.  "Mulder are you okay 
what happened?"

The corner of his mouth gave the suggestion of a smile.  "I got 
sucker punched," he breathed.

She smiled lightly back at him and tenderly ran her fingers down 
his cheek.  "My hero," she joked.  Another loud noise further 
down the hall grabbed their attention.  Scully got up and started to 
run towards it.

"Scully no... wait!"  Mulder reached out but was unsuccessful in 
grabbing her ankle.  In a matter of seconds she'd disappeared 
around the corner.  The man who came out of nowhere and hit 
him seemed right on cue;  he had wanted them to follow him:  
they were being led somewhere.  Groaning slightly, Mulder got to 
his feet and headed after.

When he finally came to the end of the hallway, the small corridor 
opened up into a vast room.  It was so large that it was nearly 
impossible to detect any walls or a ceiling.  Scully was standing a 
few feet in front of him, shining her light around the room to try 
and detect its confines.  "Scully..."  he approached until he was 
standing behind her.

"What do you think this is?  I can't see--"

They both started as a bright light appeared directly in front of 
them.  It was accompanied by a strange breeze and a barely 
perceptible metallic odor.  The breeze began to blow with more 
force, wailing around them like chanting ghosts.

Scully started to run toward the source of the light.  Mulder took 
off after her.  He grabbed hold of her shoulders as she tried to lunge 
forward.  "What are you doing, Mulder? It's her!  I know it!"

But all he could think was:  they'd been set up.

"Mulder!"

"Scully don't go near it!"

She turned sharply and pushed him away before heading back 
toward the light.  Mulder charged for her, knocking them both to 
the ground.  Scully's face came within inches of hitting the 
pavement as Mulder's weight came down on top of her.  She could feel 
his breath at her ear.  "What are you doing?!" she yelled over the 
noise.

"I'm sorry, Scully!"

She twisted and writhed underneath him.  "Mulder I swear to God 
I'll never forgive you for this!  Get off of me!"

Not relinquishing his hold in the least, he stood with her, but she 
was too damn wiry.

"Damn it Mulder let go of me!"  She broke free and headed for the 
blinding light.  

Mulder stood motionless, only aware of that deafening shearing 
sound, like wind whipping through sheets on a clothesline.  
"SCULLY!"  he screamed, and the words were instantly 
swallowed in the wind.  He headed after her, but she had too 
much of a head start;  she grew smaller and smaller, it was 
growing more difficult to see her as the light she was heading 
toward blinded him.  Then, an explosion of both light and wind 
sent his arms up to protect his face.  It only lasted a split second, 
and then it was gone.  He lowered his arms and took in the sight 
before him:  everything was gone-- the light, the wind, the noise.  
*She* was gone.  "No!" he yelled into the darkness.  The single 
word echoed around him in the strange cavern.  He stood there in
 silence for the longest time, breathing heavily, forcing that damp,
 musty air in and out of his lungs.  He looked back at his 
flashlight as it lay abandoned on the floor, sending out a single
 pathetic beam in that abyss of darkness.

Mulder sank to the floor.

Suddenly, another light appeared before him, and his heart 
skipped a beat.  "Scully..." he whispered.  The light was bright, it 
shone right at him, but it was different this time:  quiet.  He 
waited.  Slowly, a figure appeared in the center of the light, 
distinguishable only as a shadow against the back drop of 
illumination.  As the figure neared, Mulder could see there were 
actually two:  a man, and he was holding the hand of a small 
child.  His heart beat faster and faster as they neared, stopping 
several yards in front of him.  Mulder squinted at the figures, he 
could barely make it out...  and then he saw it:  a burning orange-
red ember in front of the figure's face, a light twisting thread of 
smoke coiling up a few seconds later.  His stomach rolled, his 
mind spun in confusion.  The Cancer Man released her hand and 
the smaller figure approached.  She neared, and Mulder realized 
with tremendous joy that it was Lily.  She walked up to him, her 
face blank, barefoot and clad only in a white cotton night-dress.
She seemed a little dazed and out of it, but Mulder could clearly 
see it in her eyes: recognition.  Lily knew who he was.

He held her face and gently turned her head from side to side, 
examining her eyes.  There were small puncture-like wounds on 
either temple.  He'd seen those marks before:  on himself; after 
Scully had rescued him from Ellen's Air Base all those years ago.  
"Lily are you all right?"

She nodded from her fog of disorientation.

Mulder looked back toward the light to see that the Cancer Man 
was disappearing back into the blackness.  He called to him:  
"Wait!"  He tried again, louder.  "Wait!  Where is she?"  He 
looked in frustration and panic from the disappearing man to Lily 
and back again.  He couldn't leave Lily standing there, and there 
was no chance he was going to bring her closer to that light 
again...  and then his choice was made for him:  the light began to 
dim as the man who for some incomprehensible reason had 
returned Lily to him disappeared entirely from his view.  He 
looked back at the child and knelt down in front of her.  "Lily 
where were you?  Do you remember?"

"Man."  She was trembling.

"Yes..."  Mulder swallowed.  "Did the man hurt you?"

"Don't feel good, Daddy."

"Where, where doesn't feel good?"

She brought her hand to her forehead.

Mulder put his hand over her small one.  "Here?  You have a 
headache?"

Lily nodded.  "Scared."

He closed his eyes and pulled her securely into his arms, holding 
her tight.  "I know... don't be scared, I'm here."  He rested his chin 
on the crown of her head.  "We'll be all right," he soothed.

The air was unnaturally still, strangely quiet in the face of their 
shared sorrow.  The darkness consumed them.  

Continued...

The Offspring 3:  Challenge
by Kelli Rocherolle
8/96

I'm having fun exploring the character of Mulder as a father, and 
that is the focus of this chapter.   Though this one's not a 
cliffhanger (it stands complete as is), I do plan on writing more 
about it;  I left some things not-so-neatly tied so I can unravel 
them at a later date :-)
  
Feel free to send your comments to kelli@edgenet.net.  Enjoy!  

*The following story is based on characters copyrighted by Ten 
*Thirteen Productions, created by The Man, Chris Carter, and 
*who are the property of the Fox network and are used without 
*permission. No infringement intended.

***********************************

Every season has its change
and I will see you
when the sun comes out again...

Offspring 3:  Challenge

That first week was a rocky one.

Mulder lay in bed in the middle of the night, his thoughts with 
Scully.  How could she do it?  How could she leave him only 
hours after she had promised him she'd never go away again?  He 
reprimanded himself inwardly:  that wasn't fair... he couldn't 
harbor any resentment toward her.  She had been a mother 
blinded by the desperation to get to her child;  she had reacted 
purely out of instinct.  And Scully would be returned-- he had to 
believe that.  It was only a matter of time.  He turned to look at 
Lily as she lay next to him.  That first week, Lily crawled into bed 
with him every night, and Mulder let her stay, though whether it 
was for her comfort or his he didn't really know--  the security 
system he'd had installed days after her return proved to be small 
comfort.  He listened to the steady rhythm of her breathing.  That 
was true comfort.  He smiled at her sleeping face as she lay 
pressed against his arm, and as he closed his eyes, he  hoped 
things would be all right for the two of them...

But it was a challenge.  They were both trying to cope with the 
loss of the most important person in their lives, and with settling 
into each other's routines.  Mulder struggled with the transition 
from Playmate to Primary Care Giver, and-- most importantly-- 
Disciplinarian.  Lily didn't make it any easier for him...

*******************************

The following morning Mulder was abruptly wakened by the 
harsh, loud noise of heavy rock music blasting through the 
apartment.  He sat up straight in bed.  "What the hell--?"  He got 
out of bed and went into the living room.

Lily was standing near the stereo, her hands covering her ears.

Mulder stalked over to the equipment.  "What are you doing?!" he 
yelled over the music.

Lily kept her hands over her ears even after Mulder had pressed 
the button and the noise abruptly ended.  "LOUD," she said.

"You're tellin' me.  What did I tell you about the stereo?"

"Wait."

"That's right, you wait for me and I'll turn it on for you.  You can 
do the TV but the stereo is off limits."

"Okay Daddy.  I sorry."

Mulder shook his head and tried to be understanding... maybe she 
was just acting out the hurt she was feeling, or maybe she was just 
testing boundaries with him, but either way, his patience was 
nearing its limits.

Later that night as he tried to give Lily her bath, the one activity 
in her routine he did know well, she once again would not 
cooperate.  She stood naked by the side of the tub, her arms folded 
defiantly in front of her.

"Come on, Lily, it's time for your bath.  Give me a break here..."

"No.  No want bath."

"You like having a bath.  Look, here's your favorite boat."  He 
motioned the thing in front of her.

She wasn't buying it.

"Lily..."

She started shaking her head slowly from side to side.  "No no no 
no no--"

"One way or another you're getting in this tub," he warned.

"NO."

"Lily..."  He knew what was coming next; this past week, 
whenever she decided the world had done her wrong, there was 
only one person she wanted:

"Want Mommy do it."  

Mulder stood and threw the boat into the water.  "Well Mommy 
isn't here!" he snapped.  Taking a deep breath, he stared at the 
floor, then knelt back down.  He squirted some bubble bath into 
the tub, agitating the water with his hand to work up the suds.  
"It's just me..." he muttered at the foam.

The child regarded him with a curious expression, not quite 
knowing to make of his words or his actions.  She didn't offer any 
further resistance as he picked her up and placed her into the tub.

Lily sank into the water and watched him as he reached for the 
soap and worked it into a lather.  She didn't have to be any older 
to be aware that he was feeling bad.  She held up the boat to him 
and smiled.

And he couldn't help it; her smile chased away his frustration and 
sadness, just as her mother's had so many times before.  He 
grinned back at her.

****************************

The weeks rolled steadily into a month. 

Mulder lay on the couch watching TV, his head resting against 
the sofa's arm, a pile of sunflower seed shells on the coffee table 
next to him.  Lily was lying on top of him, her cheek pressed 
against his chest as they watched "Jeopardy!".  Mulder caressed 
her back with his free hand.  She seemed content, but Mulder 
always wondered:  was she bored?  He had to resist the urge to 
entertain her twenty four hours a day; he often felt as if he were 
remiss if he didn't keeping her busy.  "Hey Lily, wanna shoot 
some hoops?"

She slid off the sofa and got her soft Nerf basketball, which was 
nearly the size of her own head.  "Hoops," she said as she brought 
the ball to him.

Mulder took the ball from her.  "You gotta pull it closer for me."

Lily went to the other side of the room and pulled her little plastic 
basketball hoop out further into the room.

"Okay here goes."  Still laying on the couch, he took aim and 
lobbed the ball at the hoop.  It bounced on the frame and fell to 
the floor.  "Ouch!  Denied..."

"Dee- nied," she agreed.

The suggestion of a smile surfaced on his lips.  "You're supposed 
to say: 'you were robbed-- I don't think that hoop is regulation'."

Lily laughed at his nonsense and picked up the ball.  She brought 
it back to him.

"No it's your turn.  Go ahead-- take your shot."

Lily walked over to the hoop, which was about as tall as she was.  
She held the ball over her head with both hands and dunked it 
into the basket.

"Somehow I feel at a disadvantage..."

*************************

After a veritable slaughter by his wee opponent, Mulder shuffled 
into the kitchen.  He stood in front of the open refrigerator, a look 
of consternation paining his face.  What the hell else did you feed 
a kid Lily's age?  He was running out of ideas, and was sure she 
was going to start boycotting if he put peanut butter and jelly or 
grilled cheese in front of her one more time.

Being a father to Lily was more challenging to him than he'd 
expected.  Scully had jokingly told him once that not even FBI 
training could prepare you for parenthood.  She wasn't kidding:  
this was more difficult than any X-file he'd ever worked on.  But 
he was determined:  he could do this... he had to do this, for Lily.  
She needed him to be strong for her.  What she would never 
know, what he would never admit, was that being a father to her 
was keeping him sane.

"What you doing?"

Mulder turned around and smiled at her as she entered the 
kitchen.  "Makin' something to eat.  You hungry?"

"Yes."  She watched him as he balanced an armful of vegetables 
and transported them from the refrigerator to the counter.

He pulled a potato out of a nearby bowl and examined it.  "Well, 
we got salad, and we can have mashed potatoes for a side dish.  
Now we just need a main course."

Lily continued to study him.

"What'd ya think?" he asked, holding the potato down for her 
examination.

Her brows drew together.  "No eat 'tatoe, Daddy."

Mulder smiled and knelt down with it.  "What?  It's just a spud-- 
see?  Short and squat... like you," he teased.

Her tone suggested that was the silliest thing she'd ever heard.  
She rested her hands on her hips.  "Noooo," she retorted, shaking 
her head with a smile.

"I don't know," he said skeptically, then nodded at her, "I think 
so."  He held it up next to her face.  "Definitely a spud."

Her face turned serious, suddenly not quite sure if he were really 
just teasing her.  She patted her chest and shook her head as she 
spoke.  "Lily no spud, Daddy."

For the first time in a long time, he laughed.

*******************

A few slices of pizza and a hefty delivery fee later, they sat on the 
couch watching TV.  Mulder wasn't a half hour into the show he 
was watching when the phone rang out loudly.  From her position 
snuggled against Mulder's chest, Lily stirred in her sleep.  He 
carefully withdrew his arm from around her and reached for the 
receiver.  "Hello?"

"Fox?"

He sat forward on the couch.  "Mrs. Scully?  What is it did you 
hear something is Dana okay?"

"No no," she said quickly, "it's not about Dana.  I need to talk to 
you."

"About what?"

"Not now, I was wondering if maybe I could come by in the 
morning."

Mulder wondered what was going on.  He'd seen Mrs. Scully a 
few times since her daughter's disappearance, usually when she 
stopped by to see Lily, so this covert behavior struck him as odd.  
Scully hadn't seen much of her mother that month before she 
disappeared; she was busy with Lily, the new apartment, and with 
him.  So she hadn't had the chance to tell her mother about the 
new status of their relationship.  Mrs. Scully knew Mulder was 
spending a lot of time with Lily, so it didn't strike her as odd that 
he would sometimes answer the phone or be there when she 
showed up.  And he couldn't think of any reason she'd want to 
speak with him like this.  "Sure, what time?...  All right, I'll see 
you then."  He replaced the receiver.

Mulder pulled Lily closer, cradling her back against his chest and 
brought his attention back to the program he was watching.  He 
fought sleep, but by the time Dave was instructing Paul for a little 
Viewer Mail music, he was ready for bed.  He looked down at 
Lily.  This had become their routine:  late nights, Mulder 
watching TV while Lily slept beside him.  He looked down at her 
and ran a finger along her cheek, where sleep had bloomed a wild 
rose.  He gathered her into his arms and stood with her. 

Waking slightly, she turned her head to rest her cheek against his 
shoulder.  Her voice was heavy with sleep.  "No bedtime yet, 
Daddy."

Mulder kissed her temple through fine red hair.  "How about we 
listen before I tuck you in?" he whispered at her ear.

Lily nodded against his shoulder and Mulder carried her to the 
stereo.  Balancing her weight in one arm, Mulder started the 
music.  The song Lily loved to hear to help her sleep started 
quietly;  it was from one of Scully's CDs, and had since become 
her favorite song; and it was his favorite song too... because it was 
their favorite song.  He paced in the room with her as the light, 
soothing melody helped lull his little girl to sleep...

It felt like springtime on this February morning
in a courtyard birds were singing your praise
I'm still recalling things you said to make me feel all right
I carried them with me today

Now as I lay me down to sleep
this I pray:  that you will hold me dear
though I'm far away, I'll whisper your name into the sky
and I will wake up happy

When the rhythm of her breathing had become even against his 
neck, Mulder brought her into her bedroom.  She watched him 
through half-closed eyes as he tucked the covers up around her 
chin.  "Night," she said sleepily.

"Night, Spud," he leaned in to kiss her forehead.  He turned off 
the lamp by her bed and the photo-sensitive night-light clicked on.  
From the other room, the last echoes of the song drifted in and 
haunted him with their distant promises:

when the sun comes out again
when the sun comes out again
when the sun comes out again...

*************************

"Hello Fox.  Where's Lily?"

He indicated the hallway leading to her bedroom.  "Still sleeping."

"At this time of day?"

Mulder rubbed the back of neck and offered a sheepish grin.  "I'm 
still workin' on a nap routine."  Her face remained serious, and 
Mulder's smile faded.  Resting a hand on her back, he motioned to 
a near by chair.  "What's this about, Mrs. Scully?"

"Fox, there's no easy way to tell you this," she said, depositing her 
weight heavily in the chair.

Her grave tone sent his stomach twisting into knots.  He sat across 
from her with his hands clasped in front of him, leaning forward 
in anticipation.  

"I think..."  she averted his gaze, then looked directly into his 
eyes.  "I think Lily should come live with me," she stated flatly, 
her tone firm with finality.

Before the last word was even out, Mulder shook his head at her.

Maggie held up a hand to him.  "I know how much Lily means to 
you, Fox.  But you're really in no position to raise a small child on 
your own--"

"It's only temporary."

She tilted her head to the side in silent query.

"Dana's coming back Mrs. Scully, you have to believe that."

"Well-- that may very well be true, but we don't know when, or for 
how long she'll be gone...  Please, don't fight me on this, Fox.  I'm 
very fond of you, you know that.  But I don't think you understand 
the long-term responsibility of raising a child; things are still new 
now--"

"She belongs with me."  Avoiding her gaze, he pointed a finger at 
the floor as he spoke, as if to punctuate the sentiment behind his 
words.  "Dana would want her here."

"You and Dana were partners-- friends-- but I know she wouldn't 
expect this of you, Fox.  It's not your place, you can't feel 
responsible.  Your friendship--"

"It wasn't just friendship anymore, Mrs. Scully."

Maggie's eyes widened at the implication.  She had always 
suspected there was something more between them, but never 
believed they would actually cross that line.  Especially not now, 
when Dana was trying to adjust to her new role as mother.  And it 
made things much clearer to her.  "Oh Fox, don't you see?  You're 
hanging on to Lily because she's the only part of Dana you have 
left."

Mulder studied the floor as he shook his head.  "No, I made a 
promise to Lily as well as Dana."

"She's not your daughter."  Her voice had taken on a sharp tone.

Mulder raised his eyes to meet hers. "She is in every way that 
counts."

Maggie stood from the chair.  "Well.  You should know I've 
consulted an attorney... and you should also know he thinks I have 
a good chance of getting her."

His eyes burned with checked anger.  He thought the world of 
Mrs. Scully, but she had no right to do this.  "You do what you 
have to."  Because, he thought, I *will* fight for her.

Their eyes held for several seconds, locked in mutual respect and 
caring, and with the frustration of this conflict.

"Well," she said finally, "I'll be in touch then, Fox."  She turned 
and left.  

"At least she didn't say 'I'll see you in court'," he muttered dryly 
out loud.

**************************

Mulder watched Lily as she played contentedly on the floor with 
her blocks.  And he remembered a night so long ago when he 
stared into a starry night and silently pleaded with the sky to bring 
his friend back to him.  The thought that Lily might spend the rest 
of her life doing the same tormented him.  He shouldn't have let 
Scully go.  He should've stopped her no matter what-- even if she 
wound up hating him.  At least she would be here now.

Lily looked up from her tower and saw that he was watching her.  
She wrinkled up her nose and flashed him the cheesiest grin.

Mulder grinned back at her and pulled himself off the couch.  
"Lily," he said, sitting on the floor beside her, "can I talk to you?"

She put her block down and nodded at him.

"Do you like it here?"

She nodded again.  "Home."

"I mean, you wouldn't want to go anywhere else would you?"

Tilting her head to the slightest bit, she regarded him with 
uncertainty.

Mulder passed a hand over his mouth.  "Lily--"

"You help me please?" she asked, holding a block up to him.

"Sure," he said, taking the block from her and resting it on the 
structure she'd built.  "Do you think you'd like to go stay with 
Grandma?"

Her eyes brightened with excitement.

"No, I mean, would you want to live there?  Would you want that 
to be your home?"

Shaking her head, her brows drew together.  "No, Daddy."

"No?"

"Stay here."

He nodded, barely containing his relief.  "Okay."

"No want go."

"Okay-- it's all right."  He ran a hand over her hair and offered a 
small smile.  "You won't have to."

**********************

It was dark.  Why were his dreams always so dark?   The coldness 
embraced him, left him feeling alone and scared.  Scanning his 
surroundings, he peered out into the blackness.  Suddenly, far off 
in the distance like a shining star, a light appeared before him.  It 
started to grow brighter, warmer.  And then he could see a small 
figure coming towards him, running at him with outstretched 
arms.  It was Lily, and he could see that her face was filled with 
happiness.  Then, the strangest thing happened:  Lily started to 
change, to grow taller, older.  Her hair began spooling out behind 
her like ribbons of copper until it was streaming down her back.  
By the time she was in his arms she was a beautiful young 
woman.  An overwhelming sense of pride, of peace, settled over 
him.  And he knew in that instant:  regardless of blood or 
legalities,  she was his.  Nothing could ever change that.

************************

Mulder examined Lily's reflection in the mirror in front of them.  
She looked adorable.  Mulder had picked out the dress himself, 
with Lily's help of course:  a simple dark blue cotton one with a 
delicate lace collar.  For himself he'd chosen the best suit he 
owned and his favorite tie... such as it was.  They were both 
decked out for court, and together they were a striking portrait.

Keeping her balanced on the stool with one hand, Mulder reached 
for a brush and carefully ran it through her hair, then attempted to 
fasten a barrette in it.  The little bow-shaped clip slipped easily 
through her fine hair.  He tried again, and again...  "I thought 
these were for kids," he complained impatiently.

"No for kids, Daddy."

"Now you tell me."

Lily pulled on the collar of her dress.

"Lily stop that you're going to tear it."

"Hurts."

"There's no way that's hurting you," he said, running his finger 
inside the collar to see for himself.

"No want wear it.  No like it."

"You liked it when we picked it out."

Their eyes locked.  Mulder was a nervous wreck, and though she 
didn't really understand what was happening, Lily was also 
feeling the tension, and they were both getting on each other's 
nerves.

Mulder let out a long breath and tried to remember that he was the 
adult.  "All right..."  he reached over and grabbed a pair of child 
scissors off the bureau.  Carefully tracing the collar of the dress, 
he cut out the lace.  When he was done, he smoothed down the 
front with his palm. "Better?"

Lily nodded.  "Better," she agreed.

"Okay come here," he said, lifting her up off the stool and sitting 
her on the bed.  He knelt in front of her and slipped on her shoes.  
Lily played with his tie as he did, running the silky fabric through 
her hands again and again.  When Mulder had fastened the 
buckles of her black patent-leather shoes, he looked up at her and 
offered a reassuring smile.

She smiled back at him.

"Kiss," he said, leaning towards her and pointing to his lips.  She 
leaned forward and gave him a peck, which was more saliva than 
kiss.

His smile widened.  "All set?"

*************************************

Mulder was glad it was a closed hearing.  He was no stranger to 
courtroom testimony, but he appreciated the unintimidating 
surroundings of the judges chamber's today.  Mulder had decided 
not to retain the services of an attorney, and after her initial 
consultation, neither had Mrs. Scully.  It was just the two of them, 
each trying to convince the judge why Lily would be better off 
with them.  It was a situation neither of them wanted to be in.

After some preliminary information was given,  the Judge queried 
the woman sitting across from him.  "Mrs. Scully, what is your 
concern about Mr. Mulder retaining custody of your grandchild?"

She cast an uneasy glance in Mulder's direction.  "Well," she 
started reluctantly, "I worry about... his stability..."

Mulder shifted uncomfortably in his chair.  Images flashed 
quickly in his mind, images of freaking out in a DC hospital at his 
partner's bedside while her mother watched; of pushing into Mrs. 
Scully's home to get to his delusional partner.  He could only 
imagine what else Scully had shared with her mother about him 
during the course of their partnership.  He looked over at her.

Mrs. Scully's heart sank at the betrayal she saw in his eyes.  She 
loved him like a son, and she did not want to hurt him. "What I 
mean to say is, I worry about his ability to provide a stable 
environment for Lily.  I know Fox explained he's taken an 
extended leave of absence from work, but eventually he's going to 
have to return--"

Mulder directed his comments to the Judge.  "I've already 
arranged for an at-home caregiver when I do go back to work."

"Your honor, it doesn't make any sense for Lily to be in any kind 
of day care or stay with a stranger.  I'm home all day..."

"She'd be in day care if she were still with her mother."

The Judge interrupted, motioning to his assistant and informing 
him he wanted to speak to the minor child in question.

Maggie sat forward in her chair.  "Judge she's too young--"

"She not too young to know what she wants, Mrs. Scully.  And I'd 
like to hear it."

"But she may be too young to know what's good for her..."

The Judge quelled further comments with a warning look.  While 
that was true, he still wanted to hear what the child had to say; 
and he also was curious to see Mr. Mulder and the little girl 
together.

The three of them watched as the assistant led Lily in.  When he 
released her hand, she went directly to Mulder and climbed into 
his lap.

The Judge smiled at her as she settled into Mulder's lap and 
turned around to face him.  "Hello there.  What's your name?"

"Lily."

"Isn't that pretty," he said softly.  "Lily, I'm going to ask you some 
questions, is that okay?"

She nodded at him.  "Oh-kay."

He motioned to Maggie.  "Who's this over here?"

Lily pointed at her and smiled.  "Grandma."

"Oh I see... You like to visit Grandma?"

"Yes."

"Do you think you'd like to go stay with her for a while?  Visit for 
a long time maybe?"

"No.  Stay here."

"Stay where sweetheart?"

"Stay home Daddy."

Maggie's heart sank.  She could see by the look in the Judge's eyes 
that this was not going well;  it was very clear to her, and she was 
sure it must have been to the Judge as well, that the two people 
sitting in that chair were father and daughter.

Mulder attempted to keep Lily back as she reached for the Judge's 
pen holder.

"Well thank you very much, Lily, for coming in and answering 
my questions."  The Judge motioned to the assistant to bring the 
child back out.  Lily hugged Mulder as the young man 
approached, turning her face away from his extended hand.

Mulder caressed her back.  "It's all right, you go ahead.  I'll be 
right out."

Lily acquiesced, and when they had left Mulder and Mrs. Scully 
were left to sit in agonizing silence as the Judge looked over the 
written statements each of them had prepared.  After a few 
minutes, he looked back at them.  Mulder expected a soliloquy on 
the responsibilities of raising a child, a review of both he and Mrs. 
Scully's positive and negative points;  the first half of which would 
express why there was no reason at all he couldn't keep Lily, but 
which at the last second would reveal that Lily would nevertheless 
be placed with her grandmother.  Isn't that how it always was on 
TV?

He was wrong--  the judge was succinct:  "Mrs. Scully there is no 
evidence to indicate to me that Mr. Mulder is incapable of raising 
this child.  She's already lost her mother, I think separating her 
from the man she regards as her father would only further 
traumatize her.  She stays with Mr. Mulder, that is my decision.  
Let the record show the court awards temporary custody of the 
minor child Lily Scully to one Fox William Mulder.  To review in 
six months."

Mulder didn't actually believe it until the words were spoken.  
When it hit him, he remembered to exhale... and he smiled.

**********************

Mrs. Scully approached them as they were coming out of the 
bathroom;  Mulder had changed them both back into comfortable 
clothes and carefully tucked their dress clothes back into his 
knapsack.  He hoisted the pack over his shoulder as Lily wandered 
a little ways down the hallway.  He looked back at Mrs. Scully.

"Fox, I hope you understand, I'm just concerned about Lily.  I 
think the world of you--"

Holding up his hand to silence her, Mulder offered a small smile.  
"No hard feelings, Mrs. Scully."

She smiled warmly at him in appreciation and rested a hand on 
his arm.  "Lily's a very lucky little girl."

Mulder looked down the hallway at Lily, who was playing with 
the water fountain.  "You got that wrong."  Lily ran back down 
the corridor to him and Mulder reached down to pick her up.

Maggie smiled and started to turn away.

"Mrs. Scully--"

She turned to face him.

"We were actually hoping you'd join us for dinner tonight.  I think 
Lily would really like that... and so would I."

"Fox--"

Mulder smiled and slipped an arm across her shoulders.  Holding 
Lily in one arm, he led the older woman down the hallway.  
"We're not takin' no for an answer.  How about seven?"

She returned his smile and nodded.  "All right then."

"Great.  So tell me:  do you cook?"

****************************

Mulder was happier than he had been in a long time; happy 
enough to make the usually detested task of grocery shopping 
almost enjoyable in the wake of his good mood.  It's wasn't exactly 
the way he wanted to celebrate his victory in court; but he needed 
to get something for their special dinner guest tonight.  He 
stopped in front of the toothpaste shelves, remembering that Lily's 
had mysteriously disappeared and he needed to get some more.  
For the life of him, he couldn't remember the kind Scully got for 
her; it was some kid's brand.  He had made the mistake of 
assuming she could just use his, but the stuff was far too strong 
and he nearly turned the kid off from ever brushing her teeth 
again.  

He perused the shelves.  Nothing looked familiar.  And there were 
about a hundred different kinds for children.  He looked back at 
Lily as she sat in the carriage.  "You remember what kind it was?"

She shook her head at him.

He pulled one of the tubes off the shelf.  "GREAT BUBBLE GUM 
TASTE YOUR KIDS WILL LOVE!" the box assured him in big 
bold obnoxious green letters.  Mulder twisted the cap off and 
forced a small amount out onto his finger.  He held it out to Lily.

She stuck out her tongue and Mulder smeared the blob on it.

"Good?"

She nodded at him.  "Bubble gum good."

He smiled.  "All right... " Mulder pulled a handful of tubes off the 
shelf to prepare a few more samples for Lily.

A heavy set black woman wearing the store's trademark red smock 
approached.  She had kind eyes set behind pointy bifocals, but her 
lips were pursed in disapproval.  "Sir, I'm going to have to ask you 
to stop that."

"I'm sorry..."  he leaned forward and read her name tag, "... 
Estelle. We're just having a little trouble deciding here..."

She clutched her hands in front of her substantial bosom and 
cocked her head to the side.  "The trial sizes are in aisle 10."

Mulder nodded as she shuffled off, leaving them in her 
reproachful gaze as she went.  He started to turn back to Lily 
when something at the end of the aisle caught his attention:  a 
man.  He was standing against the shelf watching them, though 
he'd quickly averted his gaze when Mulder caught  his eye.  He 
was now pretending to scrutinize the hand lotions.  Had Mulder 
seem him outside the courthouse earlier?  Or was his paranoia 
getting the best of him?

He took hold of the carriage and headed toward the cashier.

On the way home, he couldn't shake that nagging feeling that they 
were being watched.  When Lily asked to stop at a playground 
they were passing, Mulder agreed, figuring it might be a good 
opportunity to see if they really were being followed.  He opened 
the gate to the small grassy area and Lily ran to join the melee of 
other kids on the playground, still clutching the balloon he'd 
purchased for her at the check out.  Mulder sat on a bench, 
placing the bag of groceries beside him.  He looked around the 
playground, up and down the sidewalk; it didn't look like anyone 
suspicious was around, but he couldn't be sure...

He looked back at Lily just in time to find an older boy was trying 
to get her balloon from her.  Stubborn as she was, Lily refused to 
relinquish it.  Overwhelmed with protectiveness, Mulder got off 
the bench and headed for them, but he was too late.  Deciding if 
he couldn't have it, neither should she, the older kid pushed her 
down.  Lily watched helplessly as the thing floated into the air.  
Furious, she got up and ran at the much larger boy full force.  A 
small scuffled ensued as Mulder reached them.  He yanked the boy 
up and off of Lily by the scruff of his collar, trying to keep in 
mind the boy was just a kid too.  "What, picking on someone your 
own size is too easy for you?"  Mulder shoved him away and the 
kid took off.

Lily's cheeks were flushed with anger as Mulder crouched down 
beside her.  He brushed the dirt off her jeans.

"Boy bad.  Mean," she complained.  "Balloon go up.  Up 'kye."

"It's all right," he soothed, "don't worry we'll get you another one 
on the way, okay?"  He took her hand in his, and after retrieving 
their bag of groceries, brought her home.  He didn't give another 
thought to the man who'd been watching them in the store.

******************************

Mulder knew she should be in bed, but he just enjoyed Lily's 
company too much.  They sat across from each other at the 
kitchen table, playing cards.  Of course, they weren't really 
playing anything, Lily just liked to pretend.  Mulder watched Lily 
study her cards intently.  She was so cute.  He continually 
marveled over how much she looked like Scully.  Scully... Mulder 
hadn't heard Lily talk about her in weeks.  Was she getting used to 
her not being around?  Or worse:  forgetting her?  Mulder 
swallowed.  "So tell me, Lily," he said, picking at a sunflower 
seed, "what's your last name, do you know?"

She lowered her cards slightly and looked at him.

"Can you tell me your last name?"

"Lily."

"No your last name."

She stared blankly at him.

"Scully."

She continued to stare at him.

"Can you say that?"

Smiling, she shook her head.

"Yes you can... come on, say it:  Scully."

She rested her cards on the table and sat up, kneeling in her chair  
and leaning toward him. "Shcully," she tried.

Mulder grinned back at her and leaned forward on the table.  
"You know, you kind of shounded like Sean Connery when you 
shaid that..." he mimicked.

Lily laughed;  she had no idea who Sean Connery was, but his 
altered voice amused her.  "You stop that please.  Settle down."

"Scully," he prompted again.

"Scully," she said, perfectly this time.

"There you go."  Mulder got up to help her off the chair.  "Come 
on, let's get you to bed."  

As she trotted off for the bathroom to brush her teeth, Mulder 
thought about Lily's memories of Scully.  He'd never considered 
the fact that she might forget her, and the idea made him sick.  He 
couldn't let that happen.  Walking over to the hall closet, he 
pulled out the box of pictures and other belongings of Dana's that 
Mrs. Scully had given him for Lily.  It had been in the closet all 
week; each day Mulder thought that maybe if he waited another 
day it would be easier to go through.  It wasn't.

He brought the box back out and placed it on the kitchen table.  
Slowly, he started pulling items out of the carton and inspecting 
them.  There were old dolls of Scully's,  some pictures and 
drawings she'd made as a kid, a book and some toys.  But the 
worst were the pictures.  Half a dozen framed photos of Scully:  
baby pictures, her first day of school, her graduation, more recent 
ones...  Mulder swallowed the lump in his throat and took one of 
the pictures and the book into the living area with him.  He set the 
picture on the coffee table, just the right height that Lily would see 
it every time she walked by.  He headed down the hall to the 
bathroom to check on Lily.

She wasn't there.  Her little toothbrush was lying on the counter, 
remnants of GREAT BUBBLE GUM TASTE YOUR KIDS WILL 
LOVE! foam caking on the bristles indicated she had been there 
only minutes ago.  "Lily?"  He tried her bedroom, but she wasn't 
there either.  Pushing down the panic that was threatening to 
surge through him, he went quickly to his bedroom.  There he 
found her sitting at Scully's vanity, looking threw some of her 
jewelry; it was strewn all over the bureau's surface along with 
some of her other belongings.  

Lily turned to look at him as he stood in the doorway.  "Mess," 
she said.

Mulder sighed in relief and went over to her.  "Yeah you're pretty 
good at makin' those."  He knelt beside her.  Scully wasn't much 
for jewelry, so her collection consisted mostly of some earrings 
and a few necklaces.  Mulder picked up a charm and held it in his 
hand.  A flash of memory came to him, of standing in a police 
station and fondling the very same piece of jewelry as it hung on 
his partner's neck...{In our investigations, you may not always 
agree with me, but at least you respect the journey.  And if you 
want to continue working with them, I won't hold it against 
you...}

"What this for?"

Mulder jumped at the sound of  Lily's voice, feeling like he'd just 
been pulled through a time warp, and looked at the object she was 
extending to him:  it was a long make-up brush.

"This?"  Mulder took it from her.  "You go like this..."  he gently 
ran the brush over her cheeks, eliciting a wide smile from her.

"I do it," she said, taking the brush from him.  "Close eyes, 
Daddy."

Mulder complied and let her run the brush over his face.  When 
she was done, he looked at himself in the mirror.  There hadn't 
been anything on the brush, but he pointed to his nose and said:  
"Think you missed a spot."  She passed the brush once more over 
his face, and once more he looked in the mirror.  "Definitely an 
improvement.  Thanks, Spud."  He displayed the book to her.  
"Hey, you wanna read a story?"

She  smiled at him in delight.

Mulder sat on the floor and leaned against the bed.  "Come here 
then," he said patting the space beside him.  Curling an arm 
around Lily as she snuggled up beside him, he opened the book.  
"You ever heard the story of Moby Dick?"

****************************

Mulder slept soundly.  It didn't happen often, but every now and 
then his body needed a thorough rejuvenation and he fell into such 
a deep state of sleep that wake was nearly impossible.  His dream 
was a pleasant one.  He was watching himself stand in a bright, 
sunny kitchen, busying himself with some unknown task on one of 
the counters.  A young girl was rummaging around in the 
cabinets.  It was Lily; a much older Lily.  A black baseball cap 
that she was wearing backward covered her shoulder-length red 
hair.  Rings on every finger and clothes he'd let her buy against 
his better judgment marked her adolescence.  They were happy.  

Her voice seemed to come from far away, distorted by his dream:  
"You up for another game of cards tonight, Dad?"

"Sure... if you want to lose again."

She continued to stuff various lunch items into her knapsack.  
"Lose?  I'll kick your ass..."

Mulder smiled through the indignant tone he forced.  "I thought I 
told you not to talk like that..."

"Oh right," she said, managing to keep most of the sarcasm out of 
her voice.  "Sorry."

"You keep it up, kid," he teased, "but when we play tonight-- no 
mercy."

Lily smiled and went up to him as he continued to work at the 
counter.  She hugged him from behind, an embrace that carried 
the love for all the soccer games he sat through in the pouring 
rain, for all the mother-daughter functions he'd come to over the 
years; for teaching her how to dance (again) before her impending 
prom; for holding her after her heart had been broken for the first 
time.  For every single comforting word he'd ever uttered to her.

Mulder's heart was filled with love as he turned around to return 
her hug, but also sadness for the person who had missed out on all 
those things she should have been a party to.  Suddenly, they 
looked up--  an alarm was going off around them, a loud, piercing 
tone that broke the peace of his dream... it was his alarm clock, 
signaling the sun was rising and he needed to get up and start his 
day.

Mulder stretched against the sheets and opened his eyes.  It was 
still dark.  His alarm wasn't ringing... it was his phone.

***************************

"Wake up, Spud."  Mulder rested a hand on her chest and gently 
shook her.

Lily rubbed her eyes and looked at him sleepily in the dim light.  
He had thrown on jeans and a jacket over his tee-shirt.  Her 
expression was grumpy as she watched him.

Mulder smiled at her.  "The sun's shining."

She watched him curiously for a moment.  Then, she smiled back 
at him.

*****************************

Room 23.  That's what Mrs. Scully had said on the phone:  DC 
General, room 23.  Mulder tightened his hold on Lily and picked 
up his pace down the hall.  A nurse turned to look at the scruffy 
unshaven man and the haphazardly dressed little girl with untied 
sneakers as they moved down the hall.  Mulder was holding Lily 
in his arms, but as he moved from a quick pace to a walk-run, Lily 
started to slip, and by the time they reached the teens he was 
carrying her at his hip like a football.  She bobbed up and down 
with each stride he took.  Seventeen, eighteen, nineteen;  the 
rooms were rushing by him like some sort of bizarre countdown, 
each passing room leading him closer and closer... 20, 21, 22...   
finally:  23.

Mulder held his breath and pushed open the door.

Scully turned her head toward the door as it was flung open, then 
sat up in bed at smiled at them.  It was the first genuine smile he'd 
seen her give since Lily had been taken, and his heart skipped a 
beat at the site of it.  Scully's faced filled with relief at the sight of 
Lily, alive and well and safe with Mulder.  She extended her arms 
out to her and Mulder brought the little girl over to the bed.  
Scully's eyes brimmed with unshed tears; she held Lily tight.  "My 
baby.  Thank God you're all right," she whispered, "I was so 
worried about you."  When Scully had released her, Mulder sat 
next to Scully, pulling her into his arms.  He held her so tightly 
that Scully was sure he was going to squeeze the breath right out 
of her.  Her smile widened.  They clung to each other in silence, 
the love between them more powerful than words could ever be.  
Finally, he said simply:  "I knew you'd come back."

**************************************

Scully was released from the hospital with no apparent injuries, 
her only condition being an acute case of fatigue and recent 
memory loss.  Not that she or Mulder were surprised by that.  

Scully looked around the apartment as they entered and she could 
immediately see that Lily's toy supply had literally double since 
she'd been gone.  Lily ran past her and into the room, picking up a 
boat off the living room floor.  She held it out to Scully.  "Got 
boat, see?"  She pointed toward the TV.  "Got 'tendo."  Scully 
raised an eyebrow and shot Mulder a look.  "I see someone's been 
spoiling you..."

Mulder returned a guilty grin.

**************************

Though neither of them would've thought it possible, getting Lily 
to bed that night was more difficult than it ever had been before.  
They let her stay up later than she was used to, but when her 
eyelids grew heavy and she started to rub her eyes they tucked her 
in.  Mulder came back out into the living room and smiled at 
Scully as she sat on the couch.  They eyed each other awkwardly; 
it was the first time they had been alone since Scully returned.  
Scully offered a small smile.  "So..."

Mulder stuffed his hands in his pockets as he stood in the center 
of the room.  "So..."

After a moment, she patted the seat beside her on the couch.  
"Come here."

Mulder sat down and looked over at her.  

"Thank you," she said softly, "for taking care of Lily.  For 
everything.  My mom told me what happened.  It must have been 
hard for both of you."

He nodded at his lap.

"So what have you been up to these last few months?"

He made a disgusted noise and smiled at her.  "You mean besides 
learning that I'm a horrible father?"

The corner of her mouth turned up the slightest bit.  She shook 
her head at him.  "I don't believe that for a second."

"Well maybe not horrible..." he half-joked.

She continued to stare at him.

After a long moment, he said lowly: "Missing you."

*****************************

They spent almost an hour talking, catching up.  Mulder filled her 
in on how Lily had been doing and gave her more details about 
the whole ordeal with her mother.  They stared at each other 
awkwardly when it seemed there was nothing else to talk about 
but the one thing they'd been avoiding all night:  their 
relationship.

As if on cue, Lily shuffled into the room from the hallway, groggy 
and scared from the nightmare fresh in her mind.  Scully sat 
forward on the couch expectantly, longing to comfort her, to be 
the mother she'd been deprived of being for too long.  But Lily 
went to Mulder and extended her arms to him.  Her wide-eyed 
gaze regarded him with the utmost faith and trust, filled with love 
and adoration, and Scully could see quite clearly that he was her 
world, that he was the one person in her life she looked to to make 
everything all better.  She tried to push down her rising jealousy.

Mulder brought Lily into his arms and stood.  "Sometimes I walk 
with her when she can't sleep," he said to Scully over her 
shoulder.

Mustering a smile the best she could, Scully nodded in response.  
She watched him pace with her, and she was sad.  She wanted to 
be the one her little girl came to.  She hoped that someday, she 
would be again.

After a few moments, Mulder stopped walking.  "Okay time to 
tuck you in," he whispered to a drowsy Lily.

Scully stood and walked over to him, resting her hand on Lily's 
back.  "I'll do it."

Lily turned away and shook her head grumpily against Mulder's 
chest.

Scully swallowed and tried to fight back the tears that suddenly 
threatened to downpour.  She felt as if she'd just been kicked in 
the gut.

Mulder smiled apologetically at her and shrugged.  He nudged the 
little girl, his tone was admonishing:  "Lily..."

"No that's okay, you do it."

"You sure?"

She avoided his stare and nodded.

Mulder watched her for a moment, then turned and brought Lily 
back to bed.  Scully was glad to have him leave the room;  she 
pulled herself together.  It was no big deal, the two of them had 
been through a lot together, and they all had a lot of adjusting to 
do.  Things would be better, she had to believe that.  

Mulder emerged from the dark hallway and sat back beside her on 
the couch.  They were quiet for a while.

"You two are close," Scully commented at last.

He studied his hands as he spoke.  "She slept with me every night 
for over a month after you were taken.  But I didn't mind, I think 
we both needed it." 

Scully watched him thoughtfully.  There was something not quite 
right, a distance between them; but she supposed that was to be 
expected.  They shared another long moment of silence.  When he 
finally did look up at her again, Scully could feel the heat in his 
eyes and the air suddenly seemed twice as dense as it had been a 
second ago.  She swallowed.

Mulder was also aware of the distance between them, which was 
fathomless in comparison to the actual physical space between 
their bodies.  His throat was felt thick and dry.  The silence was 
making his ears ring.  He stretched his arm across the back of the 
couch, wanting to close that distance.  Carefully, he touched her 
face.  It was smooth and soft as he remembered it, only paler, and 
the fatigue gave her eyes a washed-out appearance.  

Scully felt a shudder dart up her spine the second his skin made 
contact with hers.  She'd missed him so much, and despite the 
deep exhaustion she felt, her body began to ache with desire.  

His hand dropped to her neck, his fingers lightly touched the 
highly sensitive skin there and initiated a biological chain-
reaction that left her body in a state of dizzying arousal.

His stare was intense.  "You tired?" he whispered.

Forcing the saliva down her throat, she managed:  "Not too bad..."

Mulder slid closer, and the simple movement seemed to her 
unnaturally loud; the rush of a thousand whispers floating towards 
her.  She caught her breath.  He slowly descended on her, the 
shadow of his body falling over her and drowning her in his scent.  
When his face neared hers, she reached up to hold it, reveling in 
the pleasure his breath caused as it fell across her lips.  They 
kissed at last.  

When he pushed her back on the couch, Mulder could tell that she 
had lost weight again; she felt small and frail beneath him.  He 
broke from the kiss and gently stroked her hair.  "We don't have 
to..."

Scully made an exasperated noise and smiled, bringing a hand up 
over her face.  "I'm so tired..." 

"It's okay," Mulder said gently, caressing her face.  "Really.  I just 
want to lie with you."

"No you don't."  Her smile widened.  "And neither do I.  But... "

Mulder rested a finger across her lips.  "Just stay here with me.  I 
want to be close to you."  

And so they were; they spent a long time on the couch enjoying 
that closeness-- holding each other, satisfying each other through 
the pleasure of kisses and caresses.

****************************

Laying on her side in bed, Scully stared at the window, 
remembering the last time she had lay there in that same spot 
watching the rain drops slide down the pane, and how she'd 
wished that things could be the way they were now.  Now 
everything was as it should be, but something still didn't feel 
right.  Things were different between she and Mulder, and she 
knew he was aware of it too.  They had needed to be together in 
that way, but even after they'd enjoyed being with each other on 
an intimate level earlier on the couch, she felt a distance from 
him.  It was as if Mulder had shut a part of himself away so 
securely in order to be able to cope with her disappearance, that he 
was having difficulty opening it now.  She knew that if she tried 
talking to him about it, he would only deny that anything was 
wrong.  Maybe she should just give him some time;  he couldn't 
hold her at arms length forever...could he?

Her thoughts were interrupted as Lily came into the room and 
walked to her side of the bed.  Scully propped herself up on her 
elbow and smiled.  "Hi," she whispered.

Lily watched her with a troubled expression, and Scully wondered 
what was going on inside that little head of hers.

She watched Scully for a long moment before speaking.  "Where 
go, Mommy?"

The simple question that she could not answer brought tears to her 
eyes.  She took a deep breath.  "I don't know, Lily."  She shook 
her head at the little girl.  "I'm sorry, I just don't know."  Scully 
fought the urge to promise her that she'd never go away again, 
because as much as she wanted to, she knew it would be a lie;  she 
would never be able to guarantee that.

Lily stared at her.

"Come here, will you come in here with me?" Scully asked, 
holding up the sheet.  Lily nodded and climbed in.  She snuggled 
near to her and Scully held her close.  Maybe this was it, the first 
step in healing-- for all of them.  Scully smiled as she drifted off 
to sleep.

The morning found them sleeping in each other's arms; Lily in 
Scully's, Mulder embracing them both in his.  The room was 
warm and fuzzy with the haze of dawn.

The sun never shone so brightly as it did that day.

End

******************************
All lyrics from Sophie B. Hawkins "As I Lay Me Down", 1994.