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Best of the Zen Jihad Quote Sheets

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Last Ride Part 75 Edition



Doomsday, the Continuing Saga
Doomsday
"I like him--He must be charming me--I kill him."

D-day with an evil look in his eye
"We need to talk to Myrkul . . . who wants to volunteer to talk to Myrkul?"

Doomsday about Kane
"Hey -- only I get to tell that story -- and it's a lot different!"

Lord Dirk
"Once we have you installed as Baron of Vaasa, I'll give you a Cloak of the Archmagi."
Doomsday thinking hard
"Magic item or death . . . . magic item or death . . . "

Melkar about D-Day dying in giant's body
"What does D-day care about what hunk of meat he's wearing?" Caleph
"What does D-Day care what hunk of meat any of you are wearing?"

Tim
"The hands of a healer, the finger of a cleric, the skull of a monk . . ."



Banter
Mirrion
"There are 174 other jihad members?"
Verkrul
"Well, most are on extra-planar missions."

Silfar
"Do you want to stay at the palace or the inn? I recommend the inn.”
Caleph
"Don't your friends stay at the palace?"
Silfar
"My friends do stay at the palace."

Evan
“Farming is miserable hard work. You have to get --”
Doomsday
“Do demons attack you?”
Evan
“No. No demons.”
Doomsday
“Ahh.”
Evan
“But you have to clean out the pigstys and work 16 hour days at harvest, etc. etc.--”
Doomsday wistfully
"Tell me again about the lack of demons."

Caleph
"What's a Chauntea?"
Vem
"We provide for the Earth."
Berk
"So do we."

Doomsday
"They threw fruit at you? Show them to me! I'll kill them, their families, and their dogs!"
Berk
"Oh no. Not the dogs!"

Berk
“That's your first death? How cute.”
Voodelmar
"I am a man now."

Feng
"Why don't you fight the demons instead of people!?"
Berk
"Because people are easier to kill."
Verkrul
"And they taste better!"

Caleph
"So, let me see the new party."
Melkor
"Ok. Hey, everyone, scuttle on over!"



Brilliant Plans
Voodelmar about a pair of unidentified magic boots
"They're probably boots of ass-kicking . . . Here--kick my ass!"

Tranthane on finding druids
"We could get a sign that says 'If you're a bear and can read this, you're probably a druid'."

Berk
"I hate picking my own quest. This time I'm going to steal the genitals off the High Master."

Doomsday on Owen's plans to cross the glacier to meet the party
"Why doesn't he just kill himself and have them mail us the ashes?"



The Metagame
Doug
"The Innkeeper is probably Shadow -- that would explain his infinite wealth."
Paul
"People like the jihad explain his infinite wealth."

Farbod
"I guess I should cross off my spell"
Jihad
"Ooohhh."
Tim
"Can he do that?"

Paul
"The weather is . . ." (rolls die)
Nick
"It is '3' out."
Farbod
"With a slight chance of '4'"

Paul in an ominous tone
"You're at Ironfang Keep, a mysterious old ruined keep. Do you want to camp inside it???"
Nick
"No. Outside it."
Paul
"You mean on the ancient Indian burial mounds?"

Paul
"It isn't searching in an organized manner; it's sort of wandering around."
James
"It must be a wandering monster."


Really, it's very zen
Paul
"There are dug-up bits of earth around. They are bits of earth that have been dug up."

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