Whoops... silly me... I sort of forgot that Akisame was already taking a 
bath at the Tendo martial arts hall. Given that the Triumvirate of Terror 
(i.e. Kailan, Azel, and Ryoko) all got washed up there too, is doesn't really 
make sense for them to sort of ignore the presence of this other guy in the 
bathtub. So here's the rewritten post.

    "Hey!"
    Azel's voice started Kailan out of his reverie.
    "What?"
    She pointed towards a building below. *The Tendo martial arts hall...* 
Kailan squinted to make out the rest of the words.
    "What's that say? School of indiscriminate grappling?"
    "Yep."
    "Hmm. If it's co-ed, I think this is gonna be my kind of place... ow!" 
Kailan grinned/winced as he was simultaneously pecked and elbowed. The more 
time passed, the more he could feel his old habits returning. The old 
bantering with every girl in the vicinity... next he'd be composing poetry on 
the fly, taking them for a spin around the dance floor, showing them just how 
good he looked with his hair combed. Soon he might be back to the old routine 
of giving a different girl sweet nothings every few nights... it's not like 
he'd ever run out.
    *You know, there are an awful lot of women in this galaxy. Why should I 
think that she... whoever she is... is the only one that I can ever be in 
love with? I mean, what's love anyway? Just enjoying someone else's company, 
is all. Who's to say that I can only enjoy the company of one girl in the 
galaxy? That's a narrow-minded way to look at things. I'd say I'm more of 
an... equal-opportunity love sort of guy...*
    They flew to the building below.

    Far above, someone smiled.
    "How quickly these creatures forget..."

    *Am I forgetting something...?* Azel mused for a second, glancing about 
the room. She'd changed out of her fairly rank clothes in favor of a soft 
cotton bathrobe, on which was embroidered the emblem of Tendo hall. A flurry 
of motion and a loud squakwing from her feet reminded her. "Oh yeah. You need 
some water, right?"
    Ryoko-hawk bounced in exasperation, hissing. *It's going to be nice to 
have arms again, if just so I can slap some sense into these stupid people,* 
she thought. 
    Azel laughed. "That's so cute... a little bouncing hawk... I'm not sure I 
want you transformed back anymore. Ow!" she said, as Ryoko pecked her 
fiercely on the ankle. 
"Okay, okay. Hot water, right? I'll be back in a minute." With that, she 
headed for the bathroom.
    
    "Mmm...." Akisame stretched indolently in the bathtub, relishing the 
water's warmth.
    [[Enjoying yourself, Akisame?]]
    "Sure am. Why? Aren't you?" 
    [[... A little, I suppose, but just because this is one of the few times 
in the past several days when I haven't been busy keeping you from getting 
yourself killed.]]
    "Oh, come on, Nac. Feel that water. It's great..." Akisame closed his 
eyes.
    [[I'm a computer, Akisame. Computers and water generally don't like each 
other.]]
    "Hey- I'll have you know that my body is 80% water."
    [[81.467%, actually. Anyway, who ever said I liked you?]]
    "Come on, you don't need to be so strait-laced all the time. You've gotta 
learn to relax..."
    [[Yeah, so I can-]] Nac stopped abruptly.
    Akisame was starting to doze off. "What'd you say, Nac?"
    [[Someone's in here...]]
    There was a gasp. Akisame looked up as the door was swinging closed. 
    [[They just left.]]
    He yawned, leaning back into the bathtub. "So they're gone. Problem 
solved."
    [[What?! Do you even realize what you're saying? You've got to stay on 
alert; who knows what they could be planning right now!]]
    "They could be planning to control their bladders until I'm damn well 
ready to get out of this tub. Matter of fact, they better be, because I'm not 
moving."
    [[Akisame-]]
    "I'm not moving, Nac."
    Nac sighed. [[The good times never last...]]

    Azel rushed back into the room, snatching up a chair. She whispered 
hastily to Ryoko, "Come quick and help me! Some crazy pervert's talking to 
himself in the bathtub!"

    "So kiss me and smile for me," Akisame sang softly to himself, eyes still 
closed. "Tell me that you'll wait for me-"
    [[Oh, no. Akisame, please!]]
    "Hold me like you'll never let me go..."
    [[I can only take so much punishment, you know.]]
    "I'm leavin' on a jet plane..."
    [[If you keep this up, I'll probably explode...]]
    "Shut up, you philistine. Don't know when I'll be back again-"
    "Yaaaahhhhhhh!!!"
    [[Holy-! Akisame!]]
    The next few seconds were a total blur in Akisame's mind. First, a big 
heavy object crashed over his head. Dazed, he tried to stand, only to reel 
again when someone slapped him hard across the face. There was a lot of 
screaming, and something with claws was standing on his shoulder and biting 
him. He tried to run, but lost his footing on the slippery bathtub floor and 
fell face-first into the water. As he went under, the claws disappeared and 
suddenly there was somebody- a girl, he thought- sitting on him. She 
scampered off him with a yelp of surprise, there was a noise of cloth 
rustling, and then all was silence.
    He raised his head slowly out of the water, fearful. The two girls were 
standing in the doorway, both of them breathing heavily and looking pretty 
scared themselves. Ryoko was wearing a hastily thrown-on robe. There was an 
awkward silence as recognition dawned on both parties.
    "Oh... hey, Akisame..."
    "Uhh... hey."
    "Umm... we thought you were a... you know... pervert."
    Akisame blinked. 
    "Sorry about the... you know... hitting you with the chair, and all."
    "Oh. Umm... that's okay."
    "Still... well, uh, I guess we should let you get back to your bath 
then..."
    "Oh. Thanks."
    Akisame stared at the door for several long moments after they left, as 
if waiting for something.
    [[I-]]
    "Shut up, Nac." he said quickly.
    [[But-]]
    "Shut up, Nac."
    [[Fine.]]
    Another long pause ensued. Finally, Akisame sat back and began scrubbing 
his back meditatively.
    "What's the next line?" he asked.

    "Hey," Kailan said as the two of them re-entered the main room. He, too, 
was sporting a Tendo hall bathrobe. His clothes were almost entirely torn to 
pieces; Ryoko winced as images from the recent past came back. *Between 
having had a building fall on him and then getting the living crap mauled out 
of him by some genetic nightmare, it's amazing that his clothes are the only 
things that suffered. Amazing... and a little bit scary.*
    "Did something happen just now in the bathroom? I thought I heard a 
little ruckus."
    Azel and Ryoko exchanged a look. "Uhh.... we'll tell you later."
    He shrugged. "Okay... hey, did you know there's some girl outside 
breaking concrete slabs with her head?" he gestured out the window. "Is that 
her job, or should we be worried?"
    "I guess you could say it's her job," said Ryoko, smiling. "And you 
should probably be worried... That girl is Akane. She's one of Nerima's 
strongest fighters, and she doesn't like guys. And she especially doesn't 
like guys who think they're God's gift to women."
    Kailan grinned broadly at her. "Well, that's no problem. I know I'm God's 
gift to women. Come on, let's go meet her."
    Azel and Ryoko stared at him as he went outside. Finally, Azel said, "So 
that's God's gift to us, huh?"
    "Guess so."
    "Think we can exchange him for someone taller?"
    "If you've got the receipt."
    "Damn."

    There we go. Now it's no longer continuity-challenged. Huzzah.
    Anyway.

    "I'm afraid they'll discriminate against me because of my... my metal 
skin."
    "Ha! Well, who wouldn't, you red outcast?"
    "Were it me, I would not show myself in public."
    -Moltar, Space Ghost, and Zorak

-Ben/Kailan