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Normal Life Revisited
By BoB
       The shadow fell across the bar as the door opened abruptly. The bar fell silent, heads turned towards the stranger.
       "What the hell kinda hat is that?!," mused one of the drunkards at the end of the bar.
       The figure stepped into the bar and strode gently, but intently towards the drunk. Their eyes locked in a mutual distrust.
       "You have a problem with my hat??," the figure drew a large sword from under his fur-mantled cloak, "I happen to like my hat."
       "Well, uhhhh," the drunk was obviously scared, "I don't have a problem with your hat. I think it looks funny."
       The figure smiled and chuckled a little, "it just looks funny?," the figure chuckled again.
       "Yeah, it just looks funny," the drunk laughed nervously.
       The figure ran him through and watched him fall to the floor. "My hat is not funny.
       Everyone at the bar went back to their drinks and remained silent for the time- being. Two men from behind the bar rushed out and carted the body away and also cleaned up the mess.
       "Bartender, I'll have a mug of mead," the figure sat down, "and also one of your better cigars."
       A local merchant went to sit next to the figure, "Hi! I"m Kalin Martez and I noticed your wonderful hat! I was wondering if you'd like to try out my newest line of Merc-wear brand clothing. The brand for the busy mercenary that wants to be comfortable, but still give off an aire of 'don't mess with me'."
       The figure started to take off his cloak, a patch on his sleeve read "Tai- Tastigon Special Operations"
       "I'm not at all interested in promoting your clothes. Besides, I'm not allowed."
       Just as the figure was about to hang his cloak Gringito burst through the door and knocked the figure out. the drunks at the bar looked towards the door. He stood there over the body, wearing nearly nothing.
       "Oh, good. I found you. I hope you remember not to cheat next time, you filthy pig," he took back his mantle and sword, "Sorry for the mess," he walked out. The drunks went back to their drinks.
***************
       Gringito walked back to the group in the back room of the police station, "Now, back to the game." He shuffled the deck and began to deal. The chief looked at him uneasily and squirmed in his seat.
       "WHAT?! What is your problem?," Gringito wached him.
       "Nothing," Chief smiled nervously, "nothing at all," he forced a laugh. He looked slightly past Gringito's shoulder, "I was just wondering," he threw another glance over his shoulder, "... just wondering why you didn't stay in the military," a bead of sweaat rolled down the side of his face.
       Gringito stood up proudly and and flayed out his arms, "I didn't stay, because I'm smarter than them."
       "You're smarter huh?," a burly-sounding voice asked from behind him.
       "Yeah, I"m smarter," he went to turn aroud but only made it half-way around when he was hit solidly by a punch. Gringito fell to the floor.
       "Smart enough not to remember to kill a thief?," Gringito say the figure from the bar just before losing consciousness.
       The chief and the thief carried his body to a waiting cart. Gringito woke long enough to see the sign onthe cart "TTMI Military Police" before he was knocked out again.
       When he re-awoke, he found himself strapped to a metal bad in the center of a white room. His head was pounding, and his back hurt. The door was heavily gaurded, as were the windows, vents and even the toilet.
       "Ahhh, good. You're finally awake," a voice boomed through a hole in the ceiling, "It's about time to remember a few things," Gringito tried to get out of bed, but to no avail.
       "Can I please get out of this bed?," Gringito asked of the gaurds nearest him.
       "NO!," the voice again boomed through the hole in the ceiling, "You're not going anywhere. Especially not after what you did last time."
       "Reibekulhcs?! Is that you?!," Gringito perked up a bit.
       "Good guess. I'm glad you remembered. Welcome back, we're gonna finish your training. I hope you like plenty of people around, cause they're not going to leave your side... for ANY reason."
       Gringito looked at the gaurds, "Well, in that case, HEY ugly! I have to piss, let me out of this bed."
       The gaurd stepped closer and began to undo the restraints, Gringito looked on anxiously, the gaurd finished releasing Gringito who raced to the toilet. Gringito saddled up but ended up flying across the room.
       Reibekulhcs boomed through the ceiling, "You should've waited until the gaurd turned off the electrical current," Reibekulhcs laughed hysterically for a very long time. Gringito sat smoldering on the floor.
       The next day, Gringito was set to work in the yard. He was the only one working, him and all of his gaurds that is. There really wasn't much work to do, but Reibekulhcs kept him out there anyways, all day, every day for three weeks. Gringito's performance was good enough to convince Reibekulhcs to loosen the watch. Bad move.
       At first Gringito didn't do anything, kind of playing into the General's game, but 10 minutes was long enough. He started for the door, the gaurds stepped in his path and drew their swords. Gringito picked up the pace and the gaurds picked up their shields.
       Gringito was now at a full run, and the gaurds hadn't even broken a sweat. Gringito leaped at them, hoping to knock one down, but instead was swatted like a fly. He lay there, stunned, on the ground wondering what had happened.
       "You don't honestly think that we'd fall for that again do you?," one of the gaurds sneered at him," We learned our lesson after last time," they picked him up and dragged him back to the General's office. "He tried an escape, sir."
       Reibekulhcs looked at Gringito, then looked at the guards and then back at Gringito. He sat there and looked at both of them, for a very long time. It was so quiet, you could've heard a mouse fart.
       "General," Gringito started, "I didn't rush these guys, they provoked me," Reibekulhcs seemed unamused. "Sir! They had provoked on several occaisions and this time I took them up on their offer."
       "Is that true?," Reibekulhcs glared at the guards, "Well, is it?"
       The guards both denied the charges, saying it had been Gringito that had done the provokation. They went back and forth arguing over who started it. Somewhere, somehow, someone brought mama's into the conversation. It then turned into a big insult match. Then someone made the mistake of bringing Reibekulhcs mama into it, and all hell broke loose from there. The whole ordeal had turned into a great big yeliing match, with Gringito in the middle of it smiling the whole time.
       When Reibekulhcs finally regained control over the situation, Gringito was on the verge of passing out from laughing so hard. Tears were streaming from his eyes, and he was nearly out of breath, Reibekulhcs didn't like that at all. So he stuck Gringito behind bars, again, for 2 weeks.
2 weeks later
       Gringito awoke to the sound of foot steps approaching his cell. He sat up and tried to tidy up as fast as possible, so as not to piss off the warden. But it wasn't the warden that appeared, it was Ba'al in an officer's uniform.
       "What the hell are you doing?!," Gringito looked Ba'al over, "and where did you get that uniform?"
       Ba'al started testing keys in the door, "I'm getting you outta here," he gave up on the keys and pulled out his lock pick. After a few seconds, the door squealed open and Gringito was escorted down the hall by Ba'al.
       It looked perfectly normal, so none of the other guards really said anything about it. They all figured that he was being taken to see Reibekulhcs again.
       Ba'al had escorted Gringito all the way to the front halls before any of the guards questioned what was going on. One of the guards had stopped them and asked what was going on.
       "This guy is supposed to be taken out and transferred to another cell."
       "OK, so why does he need to go thru here?"
       "Because this is the fastest way to the new cell, and you know how the General likes efficiency."
       The guard laughed, "yeah, he likes efficiency," he opened the door, "I think tht Reibekulhcs is a little weird that way though."
       So Ba'al and Gringito ventured on, ever closer to the gate. Finally Ba'al whispered to Gringito "There is a horse waiting for you just outside the gate, I"ll see you there," and Ba'al diappeared into the shadows. All Gringito had to do was get outside the gate and make a run for the woods.
       Gringito got a running start at the guards and this time he went under them and through the thin wooden door.
       "ouch!," he stood up and tried to run but his leg hurt from hitting the door. He couldn't stay where he was, he was determined to get away this time. He ducked into an open door and looked for a place to hide.
       "Just my luck," Gringito smiled, "The old-rusty-dagger room," he hastily picked a few up and put them in his sleeves, I'll use these for when I meet up with the general again."
       A couple of guards stepped into the room and gave a quick glance around, butdidn't see Gringito. But Gringito had seen them. He sat quietly and waited for the gaurds to leave the room, which they did, quite quickly.
       Gringito wandered back out, and proceeded to go to the front gate. Once he got there he saw the Reibekulhcs was waiting impatiently for him. So he found another place where he could sit and watch the general squirm. It was far too amusing.
       Reibekulhcs started to dismiss guards one-by-one until he had only a small fraction of what he had started with. There were now 3 people at the gate, including the General. Gringito decided to wait him out. Reluctantly, Reibekulhcs dismissed the other 2 guards, figurring that Gringito had already been caught. Bad move #2.
       Gringito took the opportunity and rushed the gate. In mid-stride, he drew one of the rusty daggers and lunged at Reibekulhcs (who had also drawn weapon, but apiece of paper with a bad drawing of an army isn't anywhere neear as effective) Reibekulhcs put his hands up in surrender, just in time for Gringito to pin one of them to the door with the rusty dagger.
       "I'm leaving now," Gringito hissed, "and I'm not gonna come back. Got it?," he was glaring deep enough into Reibekulhcs' eyes to count the number of brain cells the generla had.
       "Yeah," Reibekulhcs whined, "but will you please do me a favor first?"
       "No," he he took the keys and opened the gate.
       As he walked out, he saw his horse waiting with a change of clothes. "Never again," he threw the keys back into the compound.

THE END


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